He starts to stir and rolls on top, pinning me into the bed again. “Morning Doll.” He smiles and rubs his nose over mine.
“Morning, Handsome.” I smile.
“Best way to wake up.”
“Couldn’t agree more, how did you sleep?” I kiss the scar on his cheek.
“Heavenly, besides someone leaving me.” He actually pouts!
“I had to pee. It was that or wetting the bed. I’m not sure you would’ve appreciated waking up lying in a puddle of pee.” I shrug and he shakes his head.
“You’re so weird.”
“Why? Because I had to pee?”
“No, because you are talking about it so casually.”
“Well, it’s natural.” I shrug. “Besides, I’m sure you’ve heard worse at the compound.”
“That’s for sure.” He chuckles and kisses my neck.
“This feels nice.” I sigh happily.
“What does?” he whispers against the hollow of my neck.
“This, us. Waking up in each other’s arms, cuddling, kissing, making love,” I say tentatively.
He looks at me for a long while. “It does feel nice,” he says smiling, but the smile doesn’t reach his eyes. He’s still very much guarded. I try not to let it bother me, but it’s hard. “I meant to ask you, what’s the story behind your back piece?” He caresses my back.
I sigh, a little disappointed that he isn’t as excited as I am about us. “Fallen Angels to me represent the fact that life wasn’t kind to me and threw more shit at me than I could handle, but I didn’t let it destroy me or my compassion. It’s a reminder that no matter what, I’ll always do anything that I possibly can to make sure my family and friends have all they want in their life. It’s also to represent the walls I built around my heart. Not because I didn’t want to let anyone in, but because I didn’t want the love I have for you to ever fade.” He looks at me stunned. I realize what I just said and I need to add something, that will probably end up being a fucking mistake as he’s a stubborn fucker, but I just can’t hold it in anymore. “I love you, Gabe.” He still looks stunned and doesn’t say those three words back, I thought from what he said in the past that he’d say it back. I was wrong.
“I can’t do this, Viv. Not right now, at least. We’re in the middle of some crazy shit with the club and I can’t get distracted. When all of this is over, we’ll talk about it, but I just can’t let myself fall for you right now. If something happens to you, it’ll break me. I don’t want to risk losing you. I wouldn’t have any reason left to live. I lost you once and I’ll never be ready to lose you again.” I’m speechless, while I understand his point of view, I can’t help feeling like my heart has been broken, again. He said we can talk about this later, but I don’t see that happening somehow. Call me melodramatic, but I don’t care. I love the man and he has pretty much just turned me down.
“C…can you move please,” I say trying to keep my voice even.
“No. I’m not moving until we are okay.”
“We are, don’t worry. I understand you, loud and clear.”
“Don’t be like this. I suck at expressing how I feel, you should know that.”
“You never had any problems telling Annie that you loved her all the time.” I whisper. I fucking hate myself for saying it. I seriously wish I had a filter sometimes.
“First, that was fucking low. Second, I don’t know what she told you but I only told her once, I couldn’t bring myself to say it, and mean it when they were meant for someone I couldn’t have.” He glares at me. “Third, don’t ever throw your sister back at me or anything that happened in the past or we’re not going to talk about any possible future between us. Get that in your head. I want you so fucking badly and I wish I could just be open with you and tell you how I truly feel, but I don’t think you’re ready to hear it all and I’m not ready to say it because you keep busting my balls. All you need to know is that my feelings for you are fucking there and fucking true, like it or not, I’m not going to tell you those three words. If you can’t accept that, tell me now before we go any further. Even though I think we reached the point of no fucking return last night.” he finishes breathless.
“Fair enough.” I sigh softly.
“Look at me.” He says softly, I hesitate but do it. “Think about all I just said, long and hard. None of it was bad. If I just wanted a quick fuck I would have gone to some club whore, not you. You mean so much more than that to me. Get that in your thick skull.”
“I fucking hate you and love you at the same time. You confuse the shit out of me, Gabe.” I glare at him and he chuckles, which only makes me glare at him even more.
“You’re adorable and right back at you, Doll. We’ll get there, don’t worry.” He kisses me softly but pulls back all too soon.
“Why did you stop?” I pout.
“Because I have to get going. We have to plan how to take those fuckers down.” I frown and get up with him. “Turn that frown upside down. I’ll be back later tonight in one piece.” He kisses me hard on the lips and heads to the bathroom. I hope he’s right. I put on panties and a long t-shirt before heading to the kitchen to make some coffee and heat up some frozen waffles and bacon. I set our plates up on the counter and fix our coffees.
“Thanks for breakfast, Doll.” He kisses my neck from behind, squeezing my hip.
“You’re welcome.” I smile softly, looking up at him over my shoulder.
“Cheer up, Buttercup. I’ll come back tonight, don’t worry.” He kisses my head and starts eating, acting as if everything were perfectly normal. Nothing is normal at the moment. I don’t know what to do with all that was said. I eat slowly, not really hungry anymore. I need to focus on something else. “You should go have lunch over at Charline’s. She’s having the girls over to chat. Bennett and Ryan are on ladysitting duty today.”
“Maybe I should. I don’t feel like spending the day on my own.”
“You wouldn’t be on your own.” He snickers.
“Jerk!” I flip him off and eat my bacon.
“And proud. Now, finish breakfast and I’ll drop you off.”
“Yes, Sir.” I roll my eyes at him.
“Don’t call me Sir, you have no idea what that does to me.”
“Good to know.” I smirk and finish my plate in a couple of bites. I’m still not happy with how things went this morning, but his playful mood lifted mine. We finish our coffee and get dressed, getting ready for our day away from each other.
We get on his bike, I just love being on the back of his bike and wrapped around his toned body. Heaven! Unfortunately for me, Charline doesn’t live that far away so our ride is quite short. He parks in Line’s driveway and helps me off of his Harley. We greet Bennett and Ryan at the door and the three men talk outside for a minute.
“Hey Viv.” Line says before hugging me.
I hug her back. “Hey Line, thanks for having me.” I smile and hug Ayd and Nicole.
“Don’t mention it, I’m glad you’re here with us. It’s gonna be more fun now. Besides, we all want to know what’s been going on between you and Gabe.” They all grin at me like Cheshire cats.
“Uh, Gabe? Drive me back home please.” I turn to the door but they all hold me back laughing like mad women.
“You can’t leave them alone for two minutes without them getting handsy with each other.” Ryan says shaking his head.
“I wanna watch.” Bennett chimes in, earning a slap on the back of the head from Gabe.
“No ogling my woman or her friends you fucking perv!”
“Oh, come on! You’re taking the fun out of having to babysit them!” Ryan whines.
“I wish I could babysit Viv all day, that’s for sure.” Gabe looks at me smirking.
“Good to know.” I smirk back and flip him off.
“Oh, we so wanna know what’s going on between the two of you.” Ayd says clapping excitedly.
“Women…” Gabe shakes his head. “I’m out of here.” He takes the couple of step
s to me and pulls me in for a passionate kiss. When we pull back, the girls are staring at us with their mouths open and the guys are smirking at us, fist pumping in Gabe’s direction.
“Men…” I shake my head.
“You love us.” Gabe squeezes my ass.
“I wouldn’t go that far.” I shrug.
He winks at me and kisses my nose. “I’ll see you later, call me if you need anything. I mean it.” He looks at me seriously until I nod, then he’s out the door.
“Do you happen to have a sister?” Ryan asks what seems like an innocent question but isn’t.
“Not anymore.” I sigh and walk to the patio.
“Well done, dickhead.” I hear Bennett tell him.
I sit outside for a few minutes before the girls join me with hot chocolate and freshly made cookies.
“Sorry about Ryan, he doesn’t know about Annie.” Ayd says rubbing my back.
“It’s alright, remembering her is still painful but there’s not much I can do.”
“I know. Soooo, how about you tell us what’s going on with Gabe?” Line grins mischievously.
“Uh…his sister is here…that’s a bit awkward.” I look at Nicole, hoping she’ll say she doesn’t want to hear any of it.
“Oh don’t mind me, I wanna know too.” She grins at me.
“Great. You’re as gross as your brother.” I frown and take a sip of hot chocolate. “What do you wanna know?”
“Everything!” All three exclaim at the same time, bursting out laughing.
“Oh shit, kill me now.” I roll my eyes.
“You know you wanna talk about it.” Ayd grins wide.
“I don’t know. No offense Nicole but your brother can be a real dickhead sometimes.” I chuckle.
“Amen to that, sister!” She holds her hand up for a high five. I clap my hand onto hers. “What did he do?”
“It’s complicated.” I sigh.
“Isn’t it always?” Line says. “Aleck was so fucking stubborn trying to push me away to protect me, when he should’ve stayed close to me, but they’re never going to be rational when it comes to us.”
“Same with Gabe. He says he has feelings for me but doesn’t know how to express them, but I have a feeling he’s just using that as an excuse. He says that he wants to talk about it when all of this mess is solved. I don’t know when that will be and I don’t think that will actually happen.”
“After what happened years ago, he was a shell of himself. It took him a while to gain some of his self back. He spent his time making sure everyone around him was happy and finding their other halves. He was just content seeing others happy, which was difficult to see, knowing that he was desperate to be happy himself,” Nicole says sadly.
“I think he’s really sad deep down inside and doesn’t want to get his heart broken again. He just wants to protect himself and I get that, we’ve all been through something awful but we had someone fighting for us or worth fighting for. He has trust issues, like all our men. They can get all alpha but when it comes to feelings, they are worse than we are. He’s probably still getting used to the idea that you have feelings for him and want more with him. Give him some time to get over his stupid fear of commitment and he’ll come around.” Ayd says reassuringly.
“I know I’m probably being too hard on him and asking for too much. All I want is for him to love me the same way I love him. It’s hard to be okay when you’ve just told him you were falling for him and he tells you he doesn’t want that right now.” I sigh.
“One thing I know about my brother is that he’s always loved you. I might have been eight when you were around, but the way he talked about you was different than the way he was about Annie. He used to talk about her with fondness; while he talked about at you with adoration and lust.” Nicole says, rendering me speechless. I had no idea he was that way back then and this is confusing me even more whilst making me happy at the same time.
“Ugh, another fucking dipshit trying to fuck with my girls.” Ayd frowns making all of us laugh, despite the gravity of the situation.
The rest of the day passes quickly, we all tried to keep our minds off the men and the club business but throughout the day, you could catch each of the girls looking in the distance, clearly worrying about their other halves.
CHAPTER 18
Gabe
I feel like a fucking asshole for pushing her away when she was giving me what I wanted and needed to hear. She’s in love with me. I didn’t react well at all but I couldn’t let myself react the way I wanted to, not with what’s going to happen in the next couple of days. I need to keep my head in the game, the moment I admit my feelings I won’t be able to keep my head in the game.
I park in front of the compound and walk straight to the Chapel and see Sanders, Ric, Ray, their sergeants at arms and VP, Ant and Aleck already seated. “I’m not late again am I?”
“No.” Ant chuckles.
“Good. Had to make sure Bennett and Ryan knew what would happen if anything happened to any of our women.”
“Good Brother. Scare them a little.” Aleck smirks evilly.
“Gotta keep them in check.” I chuckle.
“Gotta ask you, Brother. Who were you talking to last night on the phone?” Ant asks me, any trace of humour long gone.
“Jared.” I sigh rubbing my face.
“What happened?”
“Viv, Line and Nic were out with Bennett, bar hunting for Viv. Jared was there wanting to buy the same fucking place and he threatened them. Bennett kicked his ass. It’s definitely the Kings who are the ones behind everything, including the threats to your woman, Sanders. I don’t know exactly what he’s playing at, but I do know that he wants to take us down and keep our women for himself.”
“That sick motherfucking piece of shit!” Sanders yells. “I’m going to get some of my men to keep an eye on all of them too. I don’t want to risk anything.”
“Thanks, man, appreciate it,” Ant says.
“Not doing it for you, Ant. Doing it for them, they’ve all been through enough shit as it is.” He sighs and steps out to call his men I’m guessing.
“Are you and Viv good?” Aleck asks me.
“What do you mean?” I look at him confused.
“When you left her this morning, were you good?”
“Yeah, why?”
“You sure?” He raises his eyebrow at me.
“We talked this morning and she didn’t like it but we were good when I left. Why?”
“I don’t know Jared, but I’m guessing since he targeted them yesterday, he’s not going to wait forever before he attacks. Better be safe than sorry. Make sure you’re really good with her before any shit goes down.” Aleck looks at me intently and I nod, not sure what to do.
“Shoot her a text if you’re so scared of calling her. Things are going to turn to shit, Aleck is right, you need to make sure you’re good in case something happens,” Ant says, his voice full of emotion, clearly scared of what might happen.
Me: Sorry about this morning. Knowing that you love me and fell in love with me is beyond anything I ever expected to happen to me. We’ll talk when I see you later. I promise. Xxx
I don’t have to wait long before she replies.
Viv: Good to know you can apologize when you are in the wrong :p can’t wait to see you later and sorry for nagging. I just couldn’t hold my feelings in any longer.
Me: Don’t worry about it. I don’t want us to fight, the makeup sex is good but fighting is exhausting.
Viv: We can jump into angry sex any time as long as it turns out like last night, I’m all for it.
Me: My type of woman…
Viv: Only one I hope…
Me: My woman…
Viv: My man…
Me: I like the sound of that. Gotta get back into our meeting, will chat to you later. We good?
Viv: Alright, Handsome. Yes we are. Talk later <3
“Looks like you two are good?” Aleck chuckles.
“Yes we are.” I smile.
“Good, now we can get back to business.” Ric says, mocking me. I glare at him and they all chuckle. I chuckle too, realizing I am pussy whipped.
“Two of my men are going over to Aleck’s place to help Bennett and Ryan. You can’t be too careful. We need to come up with a plan of attack to take them down and fast.” Sanders says coming back into the room.
“What do you suggest?” Ric says, taunting Sanders.
“Good question, Ric.” Sanders looks at him smirking, not intimidated in the slightest. He has balls to stand up to Ric.
“Is the answer going to be as good though?” Ric raises his eyebrow, crossing his arms over his chest.
“You tell me. We have the upper hand even if they outnumber us. We-”
“How can we have the upper hand if they outnumber us? That makes no sense,” Ric says getting agitated.
“If you’d let me finish that’d be great, thanks.” He says sarcastically. “As I was saying, we have a man on the inside. He’s our eyes and ears on all things Kings and he’s given me invaluable information. Jared is planning to take our women today. I don’t know exactly when, but I took it upon myself to have my men move them, including Bennett and Ryan, into a motel so they are safe. They are just out of town and hopefully they won’t find them. Now, the only way for us to take them down is to strike when they least expect it. Most of the club is at their compound, most likely planning on how to take us down so we should strike today, as soon as we can. All three clubs and myself want them gone and for good, along with the local cops so why wait? They certainly won’t be missed.”
“So, we should just go there and end them all, a massive shoot off?” Ric asks perplexed.
“Yes. Fast, easy and if we do this right, none of us will get hurt,” Sanders says gauging Ric’s reaction.
“Here I thought you were going to come up with some crazy ass elaborate plan. I actually approve of this plan. Not in the rules, but the rules don’t apply anymore to them.” Ric shocks us all into silence.
“Those in favor of a massive shoot off. Yay or nay?” Ant asks us. The only answers we hear are yay. “Yay it is then.” He hits the gavel.
Healing Gabe (Last Hangman MC Book 3) Page 14