She looked forward to warm evenings, enjoying the summer weather on her neighbor’s porches, or her own, an iced tea or a glass of wine in hand. She’d only met a few nearby residents so far and couldn’t wait to meet the rest. In Philly, she’d barely known her immediate neighbors except to wave and say hello. But here, the prospect of having friends nearby excited her. On a street like this, she couldn’t be anonymous; she couldn’t shut herself away from the world outside her door, as much as she would like to.
Large maple trees lined both sides of the street. Their brilliant red leaves hung in stark contrast to the bright blue, cloudless fall sky. The sidewalk that wove a serpentine path in front of the homes sat empty now, but, by the end of the day, it would be filled with kids on bicycles, skateboards, and roller blades. Before long, Lily would be old enough to join the neighborhood children playing out front of her house—under Sarah’s watchful eye, of course. She pictured herself in one of the white wicker rocking chairs on her porch, smiling as Lily dug in the dirt or rolled in the grass. When it came to her spirited daughter, she just never knew what to expect.
As much as she loved her home on the tree-lined street, this was not the life she’d planned for herself. How could she have expected to be raising her daughter alone at twenty-eight years old? Alex should be here, standing beside her—with her—to take their daughter to her first day of preschool. Her breath hitched and she slammed her hand over her aching heart. As their daughter got older, the problems got bigger, the questions harder. She needed Alex with her to tackle parenting together.
Quick, little footsteps thumped on the hardwood floor behind her. Sarah turned and laughed as her curly-haired, tow-headed daughter spun in a circle, showing off her favorite purple, sparkly shirt with pink leggings, rainbow sneakers, and a fuscia tutu.
“I’m ready, Mommy.”
“Are you sure that’s what you want to wear?”
“I want my new friends at preschool to see my tutu.”
“Okay. If you’re sure.” Sarah grabbed the new backpack Lily had picked out at the store yesterday. “Here, put this on.”
Lily extended her arms, and Sarah slid on the backpack. She placed a gentle kiss on her daughter’s head. Sweet moments like this, just the two of them, made everything she’d been through worth it. But today, the feelings of unrestrained, unconditional love she felt for her daughter mixed with sadness. Another milestone—another first in Lily’s short life—without Alex.
Lily hopped down the three front porch steps and ran to the car, her laughter mingling with Sarah’s. Her daughter had two speeds: running and asleep. After locking the door, Sarah hurried down the stairs and, before long, they were both buckled in and pulling out of the driveway.
The preschool was on the other side of the town green, so the drive only took a few minutes. Not nearly long enough to calm Sarah’s racing heart or settle the nerves that beat in her stomach. She pulled up to the house. “We’re here, baby.”
“Yay!” the sweet voice from the back seat squealed. Lily fumbled with her buckles and reached for the door handle.
Once out of the vehicle, though, Lily pressed her back to the car and grabbed for Sarah. She’d expected this. Lily gripped her hand tighter, and Sarah smiled down at her daughter, her bottom lip pulled between her teeth and her restless feet shuffling on the pavement. Sarah didn’t want Lily to see the butterflies that danced in her own stomach. Lily needed this. They both needed this step toward independence and a new life.
Sarah’s eyes scanned the street and her stomach tightened. She noted a fire hydrant close by and another just at the corner. Her muscles still tight, she turned back to the home, taking comfort in the brick construction. Weren’t brick houses less likely to burn? With all of her being, she wanted to throw Lily back in the car and drive home where they would be safe. And together. But that wouldn’t be healthful for Lily… or Sarah. For both of their sakes, Lily deserved a normal childhood. Full of happiness and love and none of the grief that had shrouded the past two years of their lives.
Sarah squeezed her hand into a fist, the sting of her nails cutting into the skin on her palm. “It’ll be okay, baby. You’re gonna have fun.”
But before long, a broad smile crossed Lily’s face and Sarah’s nerves relaxed. Lily’s positive outlook on the world, her innocent belief of everything good, calmed Sarah. Hand in hand, they headed up the sidewalk.
The preschool teacher, Michelle, met them at the door. She smiled at Sarah before looking down at Lily. “Are you ready to have fun today, Lily? You sure look pretty with your pink tutu.”
Lily didn’t step forward, her anxious eyes seeking Sarah’s approval. Maybe Lily wasn’t ready, either. To this point, it had been just the two of them against the world. Sarah wasn’t ready to let that go, let Lily grow up just yet. To be left alone at home with her own thoughts. But they’d moved to Oak Grove so Sarah and Lily could start a new life, have a fresh start, with none of the negative memories of their home in Philadelphia. This was just another step in the process.
Sarah nodded at her daughter and nudged her forward. Lily planted her feet on the ground at first, her hand squeezing Sarah’s. Michelle smiled at Lily, and after a few sweet words from her teacher, Lily released Sarah’s hand and reached for Michelle’s.
“Bye, Mommy.” Lily waved to Sarah and then tugged her teacher.
“She’ll be fine. Really. I’ll call you if she needs anything,” Michelle said as Lily pulled her new teacher into the house.
The storm door slammed. A barrier of glass now stood between Sarah and her daughter.
Sarah placed her hand over her heart and drew in a deep breath. This shouldn’t be so hard. It was just a few hours, and Sarah would just be a few miles down the road. But that didn’t make handing her baby off to someone else’s care any easier.
Sarah backed away slowly at first, the separation between her and her daughter growing stronger with each step closer to the car. She threw one last look at the house before getting in her sedan. There wouldn’t be a fire. And if there was, Michelle had discussed fire safety with Sarah the first day she’d visited. Lily was meant to live a long, full life. But Sarah had thought the same of Alex, too.
She could do this. If she didn’t learn to trust again, the fire would control her forever. She’d moved to Oak Grove for a fresh start, and this step was an important first one. She was sick of being controlled. Tired of circling the house for frayed cords, loose wiring, or faulty bulbs. Exhausted from going over the fire drill with Lily, who’d forgotten about what had taken her daddy’s life, and found the everyday drill a fun game. Most of all, Sarah needed peace. Peace in the knowledge that she and Lily would be okay. Peace in her decision to start over in Oak Grove.
Sarah pulled away from the curb and headed toward the center of town for her upcoming business meeting, throwing a couple of glances in her rearview mirror on the way.
Finding a convenient parking spot in front of the line of shops on Main Street only took a moment. One of her favorite parts of Oak Grove was the centrally-located town green where many of the residents walked rather than drove their cars.
She easily spotted the brightly colored sign hanging above Mug ’n Muffin, her friend Emma’s shop and her current destination. The promise of a steaming cup of coffee and a festively decorated cupcake warmed her insides as much as the fall sun warmed her body.
Each time Sarah strolled the sidewalk in front of the shops, she imagined stepping back into time, when life was simpler. When she lived in Philly, she could have walked down the same street at the same time every day and never have seen, much let met, the business owners. Here, she was already on a first-name basis with many folks in town and she was greeted with a wave and a smile.
She opened the door to Mug ’n Muffin, the high-pitched tinkle of the bell above the door announcing her arrival. The scent of sweet, decadent chocolate enveloped her. Her mouth watered and her stomach growled. She’d be taking home a box of Emma’s fr
eshest confection when she left. Again.
The somewhat round, short woman in question stepped out from the back and wiped her hands on the bright pink apron covering her floral dress. A matching bandana pulled her curly silvery hair off her face and delicate, frameless glasses hung on the tip of her nose.
Emma’s face broke into a smile when she spotted Sarah. “Come on in, sweetie. You’re right on time.”
Only a few customers sat at a single table in the corner. The perfect time to talk business. Sarah’s heart raced but she drew in a deep breath and gave herself a silent pep talk. She had this. The prospect of owning her own business excited and scared her at the same time. She’d spent several hours perfecting her business presentation, and Emma was her first potential customer. Sarah took a few wary steps forward. When she reached the shop owner, Emma wrapped her up in a motherly hug. At times like this, Sarah missed having her mother living just around the corner. As hard as it was to be away from her family, this was the right decision for her and Lily.
“Well, how did it go?”
“How did what go?”
Emma’s matronly eyes softened. “Preschool drop-off.”
Sarah’s eyes shifted to the door, and for one moment, the draw of the closed door of preschool was strong. Maybe she could just peek in the door and check on Lily for a minute. She pressed on her belly with her hand to calm the butterflies and kept her feet firmly planted. “Hard. I thought I was ready, but then I got there, and I wasn’t. Lily was nervous for a minute and I was ready to drive us both back home. But then she ran up to the teacher and into the house. And you wouldn’t believe her outfit—she wore a sparkly, pink tutu.”
“That girl. She’s quite a spitfire.”
“Yes, she is.”
“Well, why don’t we get down to business? I just took some double-chocolate cupcakes out of the oven. They should be ready to frost about the time we’re done here.” Emma grabbed two coffee mugs and led Sarah to a table in the corner.
Emma reminded Sarah of her own mother—the smile on Emma’s face, caring eyes and a soft, gentle touch. When Sarah first arrived in town, she’d been immediately charmed by Emma’s shop. The bakery had a sophisticated feel to it, with its deep walnut shelves displaying various gourmet coffees. A dozen or so tables with cushioned armchairs sat around the room, inviting customers to sit and stay a while. A dark wood customer counter and brightly lit display cases stretched from left to right across the middle of the shop. The sparkling clean glass case burst with color and presented a wide variety of delicacies Emma baked from scratch.
Sarah had returned several times after her initial visit, and before long, she’d struck up a conversation with the woman behind the counter. Having recently expanded her business, Emma needed to hire outside accounting. Perfect timing for Sarah. Emma was not only Sarah’s first customer, but her first real friend in town.
Alex would have loved this bakery. Although he had been happy in the city, he’d been a small-town guy at heart. They’d hoped to move to a town like Oak Grove after their family grew. Now Sarah was fulfilling their dream. Alone.
From the day she and Alex met, their relationship had been intense. The two of them spent every free moment together while they were dating and had been quick to move in together. They’d married within a year of meeting—the very definition of a whirlwind romance. Before long, Sarah was pregnant and they became a family of three, Alex the doting father to his newborn daughter. They had so much in common, including their goals for their careers and family. By this point, she’d hoped to have at least two kids and be focused on raising her family. Instead, here she was, new in town and raising her daughter alone.
“You miss him,” Emma said.
Sarah’s face heated. She was in the middle of a business meeting. Of all the times to think about the past. “Uh…”
“S’okay dear.” Emma patted Sarah’s hand. “I can tell, you know?” Her dark eyes warmed. “You rub your ring every time you think of Alex.”
Sarah lowered her hand from her neck where she’d unconsciously fingered the gold wedding band hanging there. Maybe she wasn’t as ready for a fresh start as she’d thought. By wearing her wedding ring on a chain, she kept Alex close to her heart, even while she tried to move on with the rest of her life.
“I’m sure it’s hard to think about life without Alex, but I’m proud of you for taking this step, moving away from your family, and starting fresh here in Oak Grove.” Emma reached across the table and placed both of her hands over Sarah’s. “You’re a strong woman, Sarah Robinson. Stronger than you know.”
How wrong Emma was. But she meant well, and her words were appreciated. Sarah smiled to make her new friend feel good, even if she didn’t feel it herself.
While downing two cups of coffee, Sarah and Emma completed their business and solidified their working relationship. By the end of the meeting, all of Sarah’s nerves had calmed and she had a solid start on her accounting business. While Sarah tucked her papers back into her bag, Emma stood from the table. “Let me go frost you some of those cupcakes, and we’ll get you on your way.”
“That sounds heavenly. I’m just going to get a refill.” Sarah crossed the room, mug in hand.
She pulled the coffee off the burner, pouring the steaming liquid into her cup as the bell above the door announced another customer. With pot in hand, she turned… and stopped short. A man strode into Emma’s shop with his shoulders back and a broad smile on his face. His thick, brown hair was swept to the side and hung a little long over his ears.
Sarah’s stomach leapt into her throat and her breath hitched. Her skin tingled and her pulse raced. She couldn’t move, her feet frozen in place, coffee pot suspended in air. What in the heck was happening to her? She couldn’t remember ever reacting to the sight of a man this way.
A blue T-shirt with a gold logo over his heart stretched over his muscular chest, his biceps stretching the restraints of his short sleeves. Either he earned those on the job, or he spent hours at the gym. She guessed the former. Despite his tough-looking exterior, a gentle, easy smile graced his face. But a storm brewed just beneath the surface of that smile. Everything about him drew her in, pulled her toward him, and her body wavered.
The man stopped halfway to the counter, his rich, whiskey-colored eyes locked on hers. Customers milled around him, but he didn’t move. Sarah’s heart raced. What was happening to her? Images of this man’s arms wrapped around her flooded her mind. Picturing his mouth lowering to hers had her puckering her lips. Heat rose on her cheeks. Even though her face was probably flushed, she clenched her fist at her side to keep from hiding behind her hands.
Stop it. She was married… well, had been married. She was Alex’s wife, she shouldn’t be staring at another man in this way. But she couldn’t help herself. Her rapidly beating heart and the ache in her gut was something she hadn’t felt in a long time. And it wasn’t wholly unwelcome.
Her eyes remained locked on the man as he swaggered toward her, his arms relaxed at his sides, confidence seeping from his pores. Nice that he could be so calm while her skin prickled and her hair stood on end. He stopped when he reached her side, leaning in and crowding her against the counter. A wolfish look settled in his eyes as his face closed the distance between them.
She drew in a deep breath. The musky scent of his aftershave mingled with the aroma of fresh coffee in the air, creating a heady combination.
With his voice barely above a whisper, he said, “Are you finished with the coffee?”
“What? Oh.” She still stood with the coffee pot in her hand. Get a grip. She wasn’t a silly schoolgirl mooning over her recent crush, although that’s probably what he thought of her. “Yeah, I’m done.”
She tried to return the coffee but banged into the machine instead, the hot, black liquid sloshing nearly over her hand. He was too close, his presence overwhelming her. If only she could move her feet, she could put some distance between herself and this man. She finally sli
d the pot onto the burner and took a wobbly step back, finally tearing her eyes away from his. They dropped to her mug and she ran her finger along the rim then stole another peek at the man. He hadn’t moved, her very presence filling the room. His lush lips formed into a wide grin and his whiskey-colored eyes twinkled.
He arched one black, thick brow. “Thanks.”
Flirt. This man knew the effect he had on women and he flaunted it. And now, that attention was turned toward Sarah.
Emma stepped out from the back just in time to save Sarah from further embarrassment. “Here you go, hon. A half dozen cupcakes. Now you be sure you share with Lily, you hear?”
Sarah heard the woman enter. Heard the words she’d said. But they didn’t compute. She couldn’t turn away from the man in front of her. Her tongue couldn’t form words to thank Emma. Instead, her eyes stayed locked on the man.
“Oh, Lucas. I didn’t hear you come in,” Emma exclaimed.
Lucas. Sarah tucked that piece of information away for later… maybe when she could focus and her brain was firing on more cylinders. Because right now, standing next to this man, she could hardly string two words together. Not since Alex had she turned into a trembling bundle of nerves. Even though Lucas’s body screamed strong, his demeanor said so much more. Protector. Nurturer. Lover. She felt helpless in his presence.
Lucas’s eyes finally broke away from hers and he turned toward Emma. “Hey, Emma. How’re you doing today?”
“I’m great. You on a break?”
“Nope, just coming off duty. Wanted to grab a cup before I headed home.”
“Sounds great. Can I get you a muffin to go with your coffee?”
Chasing Hope Page 27