He turned and walked out of the door. Spectators squinted against the sunlight as they gawped with their hands at their mouths. Firemen, paramedics and the chief blurred in Trent’s red-misted vision as he fought his tears.
Clenching his jaw, he moved through the crowd to the fire truck and heaved himself inside. He gripped the steering wheel that Sam had held so many times before. Rage blistered and burned through Trent’s insides and deep into his heart.
He cried out and shook the steering wheel before hitting it over and over with the heel of his hands. The job was getting inside him. Messing with his head and heart. He’d seen too much loss, pain and heartbreak over the years. Almost every call-out seemed to end in civilian injury or death.
Now they’d lost Sam.
He had nothing to offer anyone he loved. Nothing.
He’d promised Izzy the world. What the hell was he supposed to do when there was every possibility he would let her down today, tomorrow or a year from now? He had no right to love a woman who’d already lost far, far too much.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
WHEN KATE CROSSED her eyes and puckered her lips, Izzy laughed. “What’s that supposed to be?”
Her friend straightened her eyes and grinned. “You. You are sooo into Trent you’ve been walking around with a goofy look on your face for days. It’s getting pretty yuck, if I’m being honest.”
“It’s only been two fabulous weeks.” Izzy playfully shoved Kate’s arm and stood from her worktop, the finalized images for the calendar clutched to her chest. “And may I remind you, you were among many other people in town pushing for Trent and me to get together?”
“I know, but God, couldn’t you tone down the sex a little?”
“The sex you were so keen for me to be getting on with, you mean? You make it sound as though we’re doing it on Cowden Beach or over Marian’s counter.”
“Doesn’t matter where you’re doing it. Whenever I look at him or you, it’s obvious you’re doing it all the time.”
“So you’re jealous?” Izzy tilted her head, fighting to hold back her smile. “That’s not a very nice attribute in a friend.”
Kate leaned across the worktop, picked up a toy bear and hurled it in Izzy’s direction. “Jealous, my ass.”
Laughing, Izzy ducked and the bear hit the floor just as the phone rang on her desk.
Kate jumped down from her stool by the workstation. “I’ll get it. You get on with the images. I’m so excited. I can’t wait to see your ideas for the finished calendar.” She snatched up the phone. “Cooper Photography. How may I help you?”
Feeling more than a little foolish about the continuing euphoria that had consumed her since she and Trent slept together again, Izzy left Kate and headed into the back office to collect some random calendar designs she’d downloaded earlier.
She held her favorite in front of her. It was simple, but to her mind, the calendar background needed to be simple when the accompanying monthly images were all the ladies would be looking at anyway. Kate popped her head around the door. “I have Jay Garrett on the phone. He wants to talk to you about the gallery.”
Izzy put down the calendar images and pictures, followed Kate into the studio and picked up the phone. “Izzy Cooper speaking.”
“Miss Cooper? Hi, this is Jay Garrett. Sorry to bother you at work, but I was hoping you might have some thoughts about what we discussed a few days ago.”
Nerves knotted Izzy’s stomach as she avoided Kate’s eager gaze. Uncertainty that Templeton was the best place for her still lingered...especially when it was clear Trent was the main reason she wanted to stay rather than her career. “I’m still considering it, if I’m honest.”
“Then I would be happy to discuss your reservations or anything else you’d like to ask me. Ideally, I’d love for you to run the gallery, but if you aren’t interested, I do have other people to speak with.”
Izzy inhaled as pressure mixed with excitement. She couldn’t keep a man like Jay Garrett waiting for too long and she couldn’t afford to let a chance like this slip through her fingers either. “Could I possibly ask for another day or two? I don’t want to say yes and then let you down come February or March.”
“I’m a hundred percent confident it won’t take long for you to be running the place perfectly. I want you to be excited about this, but two days is fine. I’m just a phone call away for any questions or concerns you might have. Okay?”
“Okay.” Izzy smiled. “Thank you. I assume you’ll take a commission-based cut?”
“I will, but we can negotiate the details if you decide to say yes, which I sincerely hope you do. I love this town and always try my best to support its local talent and needs. This would be a great new venture for us both. I’m sure of it.”
Despite his monetary status, Izzy couldn’t help being impressed by Jay’s lack of ego...especially compared with Richard Crawley. But as much as possibility of leaving the Cove had preyed on her mind, she couldn’t be certain she’d be making a big mistake if she entirely dismissed Richard’s interest.
Closing her eyes, she pressed her thumb and forefinger into her brow. “I’ll get back to you in the next couple of days. Promise.”
“Great. I’ll speak to you soon.”
Izzy ended the call as Kate’s gaze burned into the top of her head. “What’s going on?”
“Jay doesn’t want me to just exhibit my work He wants me to run the gallery too.”
Kate’s eyes widened as she sank into one of the chairs in front of the desk. “That’s fantastic...isn’t it?”
“I don’t know. Richard Crawley is still calling me about the gallery in the city and Jay wants me here. This is crazy, right?”
“Of course not. Both of them are clearly blown away by your work, passion and experience. A man like Jay isn’t going to miss taking the chance to nab you before anyone else came up with the same idea. Can’t you see you’re becoming hot property? First Crawley and now Jay Garrett...who, in my humble opinion, knocks Crawley right out of the park by the way.”
“I don’t know. Running a gallery. Is it really me?”
Kate shrugged. “You don’t know until you try. You’ve got nothing to lose. If it’s not for you, then you can give Jay fair warning and go back to working for yourself. Simple.”
Izzy looked at her friend. They were polar opposites but fit so perfectly, regardless. Izzy’s reserved, happy-to-work-alone ethic complemented her friend’s spontaneity and smooth talking to win over charity donators, supports and backers. Kate’s amazing vitality always managed to buoy Izzy’s too-frequent bouts of doubt and insecurity.
“It would be an amazing opportunity, wouldn’t it?”
Kate grinned. “It would.”
“As for Richard, I’m really not sure I want to go to the city anymore. I thought getting away from here might be the answer in helping with my grief over Robbie, but now...” She smiled softly. “Now that I’m with Trent, this is where I want to be to remember Robbie.”
Kate clasped Izzy’s hand and squeezed. “Well, as your best...and prettiest friend... I am very glad to hear that.”
“You really could use more self-confidence.” Izzy winked and rose from behind her desk. “This is unbelievable. Things are starting to look a bit better, you know? I’m still working, but ready to have fun again too. I could start afresh with Trent and a gallery.” Excitement spread through her at the prospect of making the gallery a place where she and the rest of the Cove would love to spend time browsing, and hopefully buying. “And I’ll be exhibiting other artists’ work alongside my own, so it’s a win-win for everyone.”
Kate came around the desk and grasped Izzy’s hands. “It’s a fantastic idea. You want to stay here. You love your work. It’s time for you to get out of this little back alley and into the heart of the Cove, whe
re everyone can see how talented you are.”
Izzy’s smile faltered as she worried her bottom lip. “Everything is still so new with Trent, though. If I commit myself to this gallery and then things go wrong between us—”
“You’ll still be an artist, a gallery manager. Iz, come on, this is like a dream come true. From what you told me after you last spoke to Crawley, you aren’t sure you want anything else to do with him. Your own gallery, Iz. Right here in Templeton. Imagine it.”
Izzy smiled. Her own gallery. Living and working exactly where she wanted to be. The possibility escalated from a slow burn to an inferno deep in her stomach. “Do you really think it could work—” The door to her studio swung open with such force the glass shook in its frame. “My God, Leah, you frightened me half to death. What’s happened? Are you okay?”
Leah Dixon, Templeton’s favorite ER nurse, stumbled into the studio, her eyes glassy with tears. “I’ve just come off my shift and wanted to make sure you were okay.”
Dread slithered like ice water through Izzy’s veins as Trent rushed into her mind. “What’s wrong? Is it Trent? Is he hurt?”
“No, it’s...” Leah came forward and took Izzy’s arm. “It’s Sam. He was dead on arrival and Trent and Will are... Oh God, I’ve no idea what losing Sam will do to them. The three of them are—”
“Dead? Sam’s dead?” Izzy snatched her arm from Leah’s grasp and leaned over her desk to grab her purse. “Where’s Trent now? Is he still at the hospital?” The weight of Kate’s hand came down on Izzy’s shoulder, but she didn’t have the strength or courage to look at her friend. “Leah, where’s Trent?”
“He was at the hospital when I left, but—”
“I’ve got to go to him.” Izzy yanked her car keys from her purse, her fingers shaking. “Kate, have you still got the spare keys to the studio?”
“Yes, but—”
“Lock up for me, will you? I’ll call you as soon as I can.”
“Iz, wait. You can’t drive like this.”
Marching toward the door, Izzy flung it back on its hinges and made for her car parked outside. She unlocked the door and slid into the seat, fumbling and refumbling with her seat belt as Kate and Leah watched from the studio doorway. Finally strapped in, she started the ignition, put her phone to Speaker and dialed Trent’s number. As it rang, she pulled away from the studio and tried to ignore the pain in her heart for Trent’s, and Templeton’s, loss.
Another good man struck down in his prime. His future and potential wiped out in a brutal swipe of fate.
* * *
TRENT STARED BLINDLY into his open sports bag as a deep sickness twisted and churned in his gut. Just as it had during the hour or so since Sam died. He and Will had followed the ambulance to the hospital, but for what reason, he had no idea.
Maybe they’d needed to hear from the professionals that Sam was really dead; needed some reassurance that there was nothing either of them could’ve done differently.
The doctor’s confirmation of both things hadn’t lessened Trent’s guilt, or extinguished the horrible sense of responsibility he shouldered whenever they lost someone in a fire. Losing Sam escalated that responsibility more severely than ever.
Blinking, he clenched his jaw, shoved an extra sweater into his sports bag and whipped the zipper closed.
He needed to see his parents and comfort himself, and them, that they were okay. They were alive and safe. When they’d lost Aimee, Trent and his mum and dad made a pact to stay in touch, to regularly visit and call, but somehow over the last few months, that promise had faltered. Was that his parents’ fault? No, it was entirely Trent’s and his commitment and love of his job. A job that hurt as much as it brought hope.
Staying in the Cove wasn’t an option. He didn’t have the strength to stay here and deal with the ensuing grief that would envelop the entire community the way it had when, one by one, people learned Izzy had lost her brother.
But he couldn’t leave without seeing Izzy first.
He squeezed his eyes shut. Just the thought of seeing renewed grief and pity etched in her beautiful eyes make nausea rise bitter in his throat.
Lifting his bag, he headed into the living room and grabbed his phone from the coffee table. He hovered his finger over her number. He needed some time and space but was all too aware of how that request might sound to Izzy. What kind of bastard did it make him that he was running home to the comfort of his family, when Izzy had no family, no buffer, other than him?
His front door buzzer sounded.
Trent stared at the closed door.
Izzy.
Every instinct in his body screamed of her arrival as though they were joined by thought and heart.
Swallowing, he walked to the buzzer and pressed the talk button. “Hello?”
“It’s me.” Relief shook through Izzy’s voice. “Thank God you’re here. Can I come up?”
“Sure.” He buzzed her in, opened the door and slowly walked to the settee. He sat heavily and dropped his head into hands as he waited.
Seconds later, she burst into the apartment and wrapped her arms about his shoulders, pressed a kiss to his bowed head. “I’m so sorry, Trent. So very, very sorry.”
Opening his eyes, he eased back from her grasp. “I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine.” She sat down beside him and clasped his hand. “No one can be fine after what you’ve gone through. I looked for you at the hospital and when I couldn’t find you, I came here. Leah came by the studio and told me...” She shook her head, her eyes filling with tears. “I’m so sorry.” Her gaze landed on his bag and she abruptly faced him. “Where are you going? Shall I come with you?”
His stomach knotted with guilt and the bitter taste of cowardice coated the inside of his mouth. He should be honest with her. Should tell her she’d been right all along and he wasn’t the right guy for her...that there were no guarantees with his job. He faced her. “I need to get out of town for a while. I can’t be here. Not like this. Not again.”
“What do you mean?”
He closed his eyes against the hurt in hers. “Losing Sam is as much as I can take right now.”
“Then I’ll come with you. Where are you going?”
“I want you to stay here.”
She paled. “What? Why?”
“Because I need to be alone.”
“Trent, listen to me.” She tightened her fingers on his, her gaze sad. “Life throws bad things at us. Terrible things. For the most part, there is nothing we can do to stop or change that. I’m coming to terms with the fact that no matter what we do, how good or generous we are, there are still going to be evil and nasty things raining down on us. All we can do—”
He clenched his back teeth. “Is that what you believe? That for the rest of your life you’re just going to sit back and accept the bad stuff?”
She shrugged. “What else can we do?”
“Once upon a time you were the most optimistic, caring and comforting person I knew. Where’s that girl now, Iz?”
She slowly slipped her hand from his, her cheeks flushed and her gaze clouded. “Gone. She’s dead and gone with Robbie...with Sam.”
Trent stood, irritation simmering hot and dangerous in his gut. “I think you should go.”
“Trent—”
“I mean it, Iz. I can’t sit here with you when you think like that. It seems to me that no matter what I say to you, what I do or try to do, you still look at the world in an entirely dark way. Maybe I’m not the person for you. Maybe you are too torn apart, too damaged by Robbie’s death to ever let me in. No matter what you might have said to me, you are nowhere near ready to be with me. I love you, Iz, but I can’t fix this. My role in Robbie dying was too devastating to you. I see that now.”
She slowly rose from the settee
, tears glinting in her eyes but her chin defiantly lifted. “I am ready to be with you, Trent. My feelings for you are real, but I’d be lying if I told you I believe life will get better. I’ve been told that a thousand times and it just isn’t true.”
“Then you need to leave. Now.”
Their gazes locked and Trent fought the guilt pushing against his heart. The hurt in her eyes was deep, but he didn’t look away and he didn’t put his arms around her even though every part of him wanted to. They couldn’t be together. He couldn’t fix her and they were better off going their separate ways.
He needed her gone before he fell apart completely.
“Fine.” She snatched her purse from the settee. “I hope whoever it is you’re running to gives you what you need. I’m sorry that person isn’t me. Just know I’m thinking about you.”
She brushed past him and when she slammed the front door, Trent flinched.
Releasing his held breath, he squeezed his eyes shut against the tears threatening to fall, before picking up his bag and slinging it over his shoulder. He walked to the window. Izzy appeared below and she marched toward her car, her hands swiping at her cheeks.
He hurt her. He’d brought her pain.
Bastard.
Snatching his keys from the table by his front door, Trent headed outside.
He got into his car and his hands shook as he gripped the wheel. He inhaled a long breath and slowly exhaled in an attempt to calm his racing heart. Feeling more in control, he shoved the car into First and pulled out of the parking lot.
The two-hour drive to his parents’ was only the beginning of what he needed to grapple with the pain he’d caused Izzy and the reality that Sam had gone, but it was as good a place as any to start.
He had no right to call himself a man when he let Izzy down so badly. He had no right to even call himself a firefighter. He fought fire and constantly lost.
Getting out of Templeton was the right thing to do before people started telling him there was nothing he could’ve done for Sam. It was the very last thing Trent wanted, or deserved, to hear.
Saved by the Firefighter Page 13