by Halle Dean
"Daddy?" Ella said. "You are not looking."
"Sorry," he said, looking down at what she was trying to show him. It was painting on the floor of what seemed to be a group of random shapes. "That's a nice… flower?"
"Not a flower," Ella said, giggling. "A magic spell."
"Oh," he said, trying to tone down his trepidation. "It's quite pretty."
"Thank you," she said, leading him to another spot of painted floor. She still hadn't let go of Warner's hand, and he found himself smiling as she showed him more and more things. He hadn't felt so happy in a long time.
Thirteen
After What He Did
"I am not at all sure about this," Shelby said, crossing her arms.
"I'm not either," Sophie said. "Still, I truly wish to believe him."
"Why?" Shelby asked. "Why do you so wish to believe him?"
Sophie sighed, frustrated, and looked towards the hall. Warner and Ella were still in the girls' room. She turned back to Shelby. "If, today, Mr. Smith inexplicably did something very terrible, would you stop loving him?" she asked.
"Sophie..."
"It's not a rhetorical question," she said. "Have I gone insane or haven't I?"
"Of course I would still love him," Shelby sighed. "But I would not forgive and forget either."
"I never said that I forgave him," Sophie said. "I certainly am not forgetting. Nevertheless, it has been nearly five years and my feelings are still present. I tried to be rid of them, but they refuse to fade. I tried to hate him, but I cannot. I am incapable of not loving him."
Shelby sighed. "That is a predicament."
"It seems like this dark part of him can still take control at times," Sophie said. "As it happened in the forest." She touched her lip where he had bit her. It had healed quickly, due to her passive healing magic, but was still a bit sore. "I think the good part of him is still dominant," she went on. "He truly wishes to be rid of the dark part."
"That may be true, but what if it's not possible?" Shelby asked. "You'll forever live with the possibility that the darkness will take over and kill you? That seems rational."
"Sarcasm isn't helping," Sophie said. "And love has never claimed to be rational."
"You truly still love him, after what he did?" Shelby asked.
"Hopelessly," Sophie insisted. "But I cannot fathom what I am to do about it."
"Hopeless indeed," Shelby said. "I have never been skilled in giving advice. I'll only say that that boy has very serious issues you will have to fight to work through if you want to be with him."
"I know," Sophie said. "There are some things that are worth it. You must have seen his expression when he looked at Ella? Can you genuinely believe that he's all bad?"
Shelby shook her head. "He doesn't seem the type to do those horrible things."
"He's not," Sophie said.
"You're still afraid of him," Shelby pointed out. "You tense up when he gets close and you won't look him in the eyes."
"It's getting better," Sophie said. "I panicked, seeing him again, but the flashes of bad memories are dying down. I've longed to see him for so many years..."
"You can't let romantic feelings obstruct your safety," Shelby told her. "Or Ella's safety." Sophie only sighed in response. "Speaking of which," Shelby continued warily. "It's awfully quiet."
They rose and hurried down the hall. Shelby had sent Mary to another bedroom, most likely not wanting her daughter near Warner. Sophie understood, but, even at they rushed to the girls' room, she knew nothing would be wrong. She pushed the door open to see Warner asleep against the headboard of the small bed, a curled up Ella in his lap.
"She's asleep," Shelby whispered, sounding surprised. "How did he manage that?"
"Has she not been sleeping?" Sophie asked, worried.
"Since you left, it's been hard to get her to," Shelby said, nodding. "Even when she does sleep, it's never for very long."
"I'm sorry for the trouble," Sophie murmured. "I didn't realize she'd be so difficult."
"No, it's all right," Shelby assured her. "We are more than happy to help you out." Sophie smiled at Warner and Ella. She whispered her thanks to Shelby and walked over to the bed. She reached out to tuck Ella's unruly hair behind her ear. "Careful," Shelby warned. "She'll wake if you touch her."
But she remained sleeping. Sophie kissed her daughter's forehead. Warner stirred and Sophie quickly backed away.
"Huh?" he said sleepily. Sophie shushed him and pointed to Ella. He looked down and the smile that lit up his face made Sophie's heart feel light. "She's wonderful," he said in hushed tones, stroking Ella's hair with gentle fingers. "I wish..." His smile faded. "I wish I had met her sooner."
"Things happen the way they happen," Sophie said.
Warner looked up at her, his expression unreadable. "I want things to have happened differently." He looked away and sighed. "I want something I can't have anymore." He attempted to shift Ella off of him, but her hands balled up in his shirt and she snuggled closer to him.
"It seems that you're stuck," Sophie said with a slight smile. "Do you want me to move her off of you?"
"No," he said quickly, looking up again. "Unless... you don't wish for her to be near me. I understand why—"
"She's your daughter as well as mine," Sophie interrupted. "I am only worried about... What if other Warner…" She trailed off and Warner looked down at Ella again.
"That was my concern," he said. "I don't wish to hurt her, but I… I love her already, which poses a problem for the dark part of me. I think that's good, however," he continued, smiling. "She's taking up more space, so he's getting smaller. I can't even sense him now."
"You can't?" Sophie said, surprised. "That's good."
"Yes," he agreed. "Though, I do worry about her. I fear that she is a sorceress."
"What makes you think that?" Shelby asked.
"She has quite a lot of magic energy," he said. "More than most of the people I've met."
"How could you know—"
"He can sense magic, Mrs. Smith," Sophie cut the woman off.
"I sense a great deal from Ella," Warner said. "I don't understand what happened with me, but if I passed it on to her, it could cause problems."
"Do you think that's likely?" Sophie asked.
Warner shrugged. "I have no idea," he said. "If I can learn what's wrong with me, I may know if it will happen to her. But I've been studying with the Magics Society for a while now." He sighed. "And I have yet to find anything very helpful except that a few other sorcerers I know are the same as me. Though their other voices seem to cause less of a problem than mine."
"The Magics Society?" Shelby repeated. "Did you join it?"
Warner nodded.
"What exactly is the Magics Society?" Sophie asked.
"It's a group of very skilled magic users that aim to learn everything there is to know about magic," Shelby said. "How did you get in?" she asked Warner. "Isn't it for the elite?"
Warner scratched the back his head and smiled sheepishly. "I'm skilled in magic," he said. "As well as that, they were interested in my… situation."
"So, these people that aim to know everything about magic, know nothing about what happened to you?" Sophie asked.
"It seems that way," Warner shrugged. "But I don't entirely trust George and Barry, so I've been doing my own research."
"But still haven't found anything?"
"There may be nothing to find," he said. "I know that everyone's magic changed at the same time as mine, but that is all. However, there are also plenty of materials that I have no access to. There are magical barriers around them. I've also been studying how to dissolve magical barriers. It's extremely difficult to dissolve one that you didn't create yourself." He sounded disheartened. "The fact that they won't let me near it makes me think there must be something there that I want to know."
"You'll find it out," Sophie said, offering an encouraging smile.
Warner looked at her, a curious expre
ssion coming over his face. "How did you enter my house in the forest?" he asked.
"Huh?" she said, confused by the question. "I unlocked the door with telekinesis."
"Yes, but you shouldn't have been able to pass through the doorway," he said. "I had a magical barrier up."
"Are you certain?" she asked. "I didn't notice anything."
"I'm sure of it," he insisted. "I didn't think of it before, but I had to dissolve it to let Mason and Alex in."
"Then how did I get past?" she asked.
"Maybe he performed the spell incorrectly," Shelby suggested.
"I didn't!" Warner snapped. Ella made a small noise and her eyes fluttered open. Both Sophie and Shelby put fingers to their lips and gave Warner annoyed looks, shushing him. "Ah, sorry," he whispered anxiously. "Sorry, Ella. I didn't mean to yell."
"Daddy?" she mumbled. "Did you see my paintings?"
"Yes." He smoothed her hair. "I saw them all. Go back to sleep."
"We should move you first," Shelby said to him.
"No!" Ella cried, waking up more and climbing further into Warner's lap. "I don't want Daddy to leave again." She held her little hand out towards Sophie. "And Momma will stay too."
"Oh, sweetheart…" Sophie said. "We can't stay for long. We must leave tomorrow."
Ella looked heartbroken and Sophie felt like crying.
"We'll be back soon!" Warner said suddenly. Everyone looked at him—Sophie in surprise, Shelby in annoyance, and Ella in delight.
"When?" Ella asked. "Tomorrow night?"
"Not that soon," he said. "But soon. I promise."
"You can't make those sorts of promises," Sophie said in a harsh whisper. "You don't know that we'll make it back."
"We will," he said with resolve. "As soon as we can." Ella clapped her hands excitedly.
Sophie was unsure of how to respond. She wondered if he was serious or if he was only saying it for the sake of their daughter. She realized that she was going to have to agree with him or risk making things difficult with Ella. "We'll be back soon then," she said finally. "But, for now, it's time for bed."
"I'm not sleepy," Ella said, yawning.
"Yes, you are," Sophie said. "And so is your father. You need to let him rest."
"I'm not tired," Warner said.
"Warner!" Sophie reprimanded.
"Oh! Uh—I meant to say—" he stammered. "Yes, I am very sleepy, Ella. I must go to bed now."
"But Daddy—" she protested.
"No," he said with determination, lifting her off of him and standing up. "Time to sleep." She crossed her arms and pouted, but he set her down on the bed. "Uh, lie down," he said, the authority in his voice wavering.
Sophie tried not to laugh at his efforts—that wouldn't do much to convince Ella to listen. Pushing aside any unease, Sophie stepped forward to stand next to Warner. He looked at her, seeming surprised, but she pretended everything was normal. She gave Ella a stern look.
"Ella," she said firmly. "Listen to Warner… Daddy… your father…" She sighed and covered her face with her hand. "Go to sleep."
"Momma, you're funny," Ella giggled.
"Don't laugh at your mother," Warner said, though he seemed amused too. He pulled her blanket over her. "Get under the covers and go to sleep. We'll see you in the morning."
She reluctantly crawled under her blanket, still pouting. "In the morning," she repeated as Sophie and Warner gathered all the clutter from her bed.
"Good night, sweetheart," Sophie said as all the adults left the room.
"Good night, Momma," Ella yawned. "Good night, Daddy."
"Good night, Ella," Warner said from the doorway as her eyes drifted shut. Sophie watched him as he stared at their daughter in fascination. He sighed and leaned on the door frame. "We must return here," he whispered. "I can't—I cannot die now. I can't leave her."
"No, you can't," Sophie agreed. "It would break her heart. I won't allow that."
He looked down at Sophie. "What am I meant to do?" he asked. "My situation is grim. I cannot leave it as it is."
"Then we will find a way to fix it," she said. She turned to walk down the hall, following Shelby.
"We?" Warner repeated. Sophie waited for Shelby to leave the hallway before turning back to Warner. He was facing her and pulling the door to the girls' room closed. "You'll help me?" he asked. She just nodded in response. "Why?"
"I want you to be you again," she said. "I don't want to be afraid of you."
"I don't want you to be afraid either." He looked down. "I'm sorry—"
"I want you to stop that," she interrupted. "I understand that you're sorry. Apologizing repeatedly doesn't change a thing."
"I am aware of that," he said quietly. "I don't have anything else to say."
Sophie sighed. "You needn't say anything," she said. "I already know how you feel."
"You do not," he argued, looking up. "You don't understand the extent of my—of how I… feel. I've spent every day thinking of you. Thinking of how I made a mess of everything. Thinking of how I'd never be able to see you again. It kills me to know that you hate me."
"Warner—"
"It kills me," he continued, cutting her off, "knowing that I hurt you. It makes me wish that I could die, but he stops me before I can. So, I tried to stop caring. It's impossible. I—" He looked away. "—I still…"
She tried to hold back tears. "Warner, I—"
"I'll never be able to make it up to you, I know," he interrupted again. "I understand that I'll never win your trust back or be rid of your hatred for me."
"I don't hate you," she interjected before he could go on.
He turned his gaze back to her, looking puzzled. "What?"
"I don't hate you," she repeated. "What you said about trying to not care anymore? It's the same with me; I can't manage it."
"The same?" he echoed dazedly. "You still… I don't understand." He shook his head. "You're afraid of me, aren't you? You fear that I will hurt you again. How could you still—Why wouldn't you hate me?"
Sophie shrugged slightly and looked down. "I don't have an answer to that," she mumbled. "I was upset when I saw you again, because all the memories and pain hit me at once, but still, I couldn't hate you. Over the years, I… I worried about you. I wondered where you were and what you were doing. I had this irrational wish that you would return."
"You wished for my return?" he asked. "After what I did?"
She nodded, fiddling with the bracelet on her wrist. "Not all of my dreams are nightmares," she told him. "The last memories I had of you were terrible, but there were years and years of the best times. I dreamt that you would reappear as your old self and save me and Ella from Edric."
She looked up to see Warner with a distraught expression. She took a small step towards him, wanting to find some way to comfort him. Never, since she had first met him, had she been able to cope with seeing him in distress.
"I wanted to come back," he said. "But I was… augh…" He put his face in his hands and seemed to be struggling with his words. "I was… I told you, the thought of you hating me is too much to handle, so I was… damn it all… I was… afraid."
Sophie's eyes widened. "What?"
"Please, don't make me repeat it," he mumbled, dropping his hands to his sides. Sophie just nodded. She hadn't ever heard Warner admit to being afraid before. "I… I know we can't go back to how it was," he continued. "But I think of it all the time. I wish to be with you and it hurts that I can't be. Even being with you like this has been far better than every moment over the years I've been away. I…" He looked at her with such an agonized expression, it seemed like he was in physical pain. "Sophie, I still love you, so much."
Sophie was having trouble breathing, her heart was beating fast, and her face felt very hot. She never could get over being flustered whenever Warner spoke of his feelings for her. He didn't voice his emotions often and he usually tried his best to stay vague. When he spoke about what he was truly feeling, she felt fluttery. She
didn't know how to respond to him.
"Warner," she said carefully, blushing a deep shade of red. "I don't know what to say."
Warner looked down again. She wondered if he was disappointed, but when he spoke, he sounded more resigned. "I'm not expecting you to respond in kind," he said. "I only thought you ought to know. And I thought you should hear it from me and not… other Warner."
Sophie nodded. It did feel different, coming from the non-terrifying side of him. She very much wished to tell him that she reciprocated his feelings, but felt that it was not the right time for that. However, she didn't want to leave him with nothing, after he struggled so hard to admit his emotions. She sighed and took another step towards him.
"It is nice to hear it from you again," she said, very quietly. She moved even closer to him. They were barely a foot from each other. "I've thought of you every day as well."
She closed her eyes and steeled herself. Then, before she could work herself up too much, she wrapped her arms around him. He seemed to be in shock for a long moment, though she suspected it felt longer to her than it really was. Finally, he returned the action, enveloping her in a warm embrace. She let out a shaky breath.
Trying not to cry, she buried her face in his shoulder. She knew she was trembling, but Warner only held her tighter. She was still scared, but she hoped her gesture might help keep the darkness back. She didn't feel unsafe, like she had expected to; she felt comforted by the feeling of his arms around her. She wondered if things might end well between them after all, if they managed to survive.
The moment was shattered by the sound of an annoyed voice. "What in the hell is going on here?"
Fourteen
Emotions Taking Over
Before Warner could recognize the intruding voice, he had pushed Sophie behind himself. Sophie yelped in surprise at the sudden movement. Carl and Shelby, who were standing at the end of the hall, glared. When Warner realized what was going on, he let his guard back down. He scratched the back of his head, cursing himself for his idiotic reaction.