Too late, I already had. The one encounter I couldn’t explain had left me bleeding, but I couldn’t very well tell him that. I felt guilty enough as it was to invite people over after that, and that poor girl in the video…what was going to keep that from happening to me or my family? I felt sick just thinking about it.
That afternoon, Ryder drove me home; we sat in silence. I didn’t want to talk anymore about ghosts, and he didn’t seem to want to bring it up. The video had completely freaked me out. I dreaded to even step foot into the house again, but my family was in there. They needed to know how dangerous it was.
I muttered a thank you and grabbed my bag as I got out of his truck. After racing up to the house, I fiddled with my keys and stepped inside. I found my brother and father sitting at the dinner table eating.
“Sorry to start without you; Dillon was starving when I picked him up,” my dad said.
“It’s alright.” I shrugged and took a seat across from him. Pizza sat in the middle of the table, so I helped myself.
“You’ll have to get your own drink. I wasn’t sure when you’d be home, so I didn’t get you one.”
Whatever. “I’m always home at the same time every day.” I pushed away from the table to get something to drink.
When I walked into the kitchen, I opened the nearest cabinet to retrieve a glass and sat it on the counter. I growled in irritation, mocking my dad under my breath as I grabbed a two liter of soda out of the refrigerator. I turned around to walk back to my glass and froze. It was gone.
“What the hell?”
My eyes darted around the room, finally settling on the glass, which had somehow moved to the island in the center of the kitchen. The room grew cold as I walked over toward it and reached out with my shaky hand. Before I could touch it, it flew away from me and slammed into the cabinet before hitting the floor and shattering. I screamed and threw my hands up to cover my face from the glass, just as I heard my father call out my name and his footsteps echo down the hallway.
I couldn’t seem to take my eyes away from the broken pieces on the floor as my heart thudded in my chest. My body broke out in cold chills. Something was in the room with me. My breath took the form of steam, and I slowly began to back out of the kitchen.
A hard figure slammed into my back, and I screamed. I tried to run, but a hand landed on my shoulder and kept me in place.
“Briar!” my dad’s voice came from behind me.
I was thankful it was him, so I whirled around and threw my arms around him. “There is something in this house!”
He placed his hands on my arms and pushed me forward to look down at me. His shook his head. “Is this really what we’re doing again? You’re going to blame this on a ghost just like you did with the knife?”
“How can you not believe me? I’ve never lied to you about stuff like this before. What the hell, Dad?” I brushed him off me and stepped back to cross my arms in anger.
“I know you don’t like this place, and you would rather be out on your own. I appreciate you moving in to help with Dillon, but if it’s too much you can get a job and get your own place.”
“You mean to tell me you haven’t seen anything strange?”
He shook his head. “No, and neither has your brother.”
“You wanna bet?”
“Briar—”
“Come on; let’s go see what he has to say about it.” I stomped out of the kitchen as he yelled behind me to come clean up my mess.
My damned mess indeed. Stupid ghosts.
He followed behind me until we were back in the dining room, and I walked over to where Dillon sat. His big blue eyes beamed up at me.
“Hey, Sissy! You eat now?”
“In a minute, sweetie. Why don’t you tell Daddy about your friends in the house?”
Dad leaned over beside me and encouraged him to go on.
“Well,” Dillon started and looked around as if he was looking for someone before looking back at me. “I not supposed to tell you names.”
“That’s ok. What can you tell us?”
“They are fun and they live here and they were here first but that’s okay ‘cause some of them are nice and play with me.”
Dad raised a speculative eyebrow. “Is that right?”
Dillon nodded.
Dad looked at me. “Did you put him up to this?”
I was appalled. “I can’t believe you would think that!”
“He hasn’t said anything to me about it until you mentioned it.”
“I’m not making it up! You really haven’t seen anything?”
“No, Briar, I haven’t. And I would appreciate it if you would stop with the ghost talk. I thought your mother and I had taught you better than that. Ghosts don’t exist.”
I was fuming. Not only was he practically calling me a liar, he didn’t believe me, and he thought I was making Dillon lie for me!
I stood up and glared at him. “You’ll see something some day and you will regret this.”
He said my name as I spun on my heels to go to my room. I didn’t have to deal with his shit; I had enough going on with trying to figure out how to keep us safe from the ghosts.
I slammed my door behind me and threw myself on the bed. Maybe I was being dramatic, but it felt good. I felt alone and angry, both things I hated to feel. Happiness is what I longed for, and I worried that I would never find it again. My mind floated to the small, steel razorblade that I kept in a jewelry box in my bedside table.
“No, Briar, pull yourself together,” I chastised and shook my head to clear those thoughts.
There was so much pain inside me, swirling around like a tornado just ready to throw me to the sky. I felt as if my breath was taken away from me. I curled my legs up to my chest and buried my eyes in the palms of my hands, pressing them until there were spots behind my eyes. It was uncomfortable, but it felt good at the same time.
That sort of pain hadn’t hit me in several months, and I wasn’t sure how to deal with it. I know what my therapist would want me to do, breathe or listen to music or write in that damned journal, but I didn’t think any of that would help. The only thing that made sense in the moment was a different pain to make the current one go away. Something else for me to focus on.
Slowly I sat up on the bed and moved my gaze to the bedside table. It would only take a second. It wouldn’t have to be much, really. Just enough to make the blood pool on my skin and for me to revel in a different pain—a pain that was more tolerable than the ache in my chest. With several deep breaths I tried to calm myself and think about something else. It made everything worse. Getting my razor became the only thing I could think about.
A chill ran down my spine, and I heard the floorboards creek. Shit, here comes another ghost to freak me out and piss me off.
I was relieved when Cade’s voice flowed softly across the room. My name on his lips was enough to snap me out of my gaze, and the fear that crept over me disappeared. At the same time, I felt as if he had caught me in the actual act of cutting. The blush rose to my face, but I tried to play it off.
“Thank God it’s you; I thought it was another freakin’ ghost.” I sat up as he came to sit on the edge of the bed.
“Are they bothering you that bad?”
“Every time I turn around it seems.”
That terrifying scowl returned on his face. “I guess my efforts didn’t pay off. I will have to try again.”
“What are you doing?” I asked. “If there’s a way to get them to leave me alone I want to know.”
He ran his hand through his hair. “I don’t know. I’ll have to think about it. What are you doing anyway? You look deep in thought.”
“Nothing. How long have you been hiding in my closet?”
“Don’t change the subject. You look caught,” he said with a laugh. His smile was wonderful.
“I was just….thinking…”
“About what?” He moved closer to me.
“About how miserable I
am.”
“Why?”
I sighed. Did I really want to go into all that with him? I hadn’t known him long, but there was something about the way he looked at me that told me I could trust him. I felt comfortable around him, and I’d easily opened up to him before.
“My dad thinks I’m lying about the ghosts.”
He laughed. “I know, you told me. It’s not that big a deal.”
“Yeah it is! My family is all I have; they’re all I’ve ever had. For him to think that hurts really bad.”
“It’s this house.”
That caught my attention. “What do you mean?”
“It likes to twist people’s minds into doing what it wants. Your family could be in danger.”
I sat up straighter and grabbed him by his t-shirt. “What the hell am I supposed to do about it? This house isn’t alive, Cade.”
“No, but it’s powerful. That’s why my family left. It was trying to take me over and make me do awful things. I wouldn’t doubt it’s trying to mess with your head too. What’s in that drawer that’s so important?”
Before I could answer, he jumped up from the bed and opened it up. I was right behind him, frantic to get to the jewelry box before he did, but I was too late. He picked it up and popped it open. He closed his eyes as he slammed it shut, threw it back into the drawer, and slammed it shut.
When he opened his eyes, they seemed to have darkened even more. I wasn’t sure if that was even possible. “You promised me.”
“I didn’t.” Not really.
“Well, I thought we had an understanding.”
“I don’t know what else to do,” I said. “Tell me what to do.” My words were sad and pleading. If he had an answer, I would be glad to hear it because I didn’t. Tears stung at my eyes as I looked back at him.
He took my face in his hands and leaned over to plant a quick kiss on my lips before resting his forehead against mine. “You’re gonna make it through this. I won’t leave you alone, okay? I will stay here as long as you need me.”
I nodded in agreement. I didn’t want to hurt myself; I wanted to be better than that. Stronger than that. My past couldn’t have control over me; I wouldn’t let it. But it was so hard to fight. Maybe with him by my side I could be strong. He joined me on the bed and wrapped his arms around me.
“My mom killed herself. Like mother like daughter, I guess. I’m just as messed up as she was,” I explained.
“You’re not messed up. You’re perfect.” His words were comforting, but I didn’t believe him. If that were true, she wouldn’t have left us. If that were true, my father would trust me. If that were true, we wouldn’t be stuck in some God forsaken haunted house with nowhere else to go.
Chapter Ten
I couldn’t seem to wipe the smile from my face the next day as I walked into the cafeteria and took a seat at the corner booth.
Meredith slid in across from me with an even bigger smile on her face. She leaned over the table and looked me straight in the eyes. “So, is Cade as sexy without his clothes on as he was in that black t-shirt at the party?”
My mouth fell open in shock as my face darkened.
“Don’t even try to deny it, Briar. It’s written all over your face. That smile hasn’t faltered since you walked into the school. You’re freaking everyone out.”
“Do I have a weird smile?” I asked, insecurity coming over me.
“No, but you don’t share it. Ever.”
I didn’t respond to her questions because I wasn’t ready to open up to her yet. A part of me was still convinced that she couldn’t be trusted, especially after inviting all those people to my house.
Let her think what she wanted. He’d stayed the night, and I had spent it wrapped up in his arms. It was nice and different from what I was used to with boys. He didn’t make any moves on me, which made me feel as if he respected me. No one had ever been able to comfort me like Cade had, and I couldn’t seem to keep my thoughts from roaming back to him.
Ryder joined us. “Hey, guys.”
I tried not to smile and to act normal, but it wouldn’t happen. “Hey.”
“You, uh, you have a good night?” He raised a suspicious eyebrow at me.
“Decent.”
Celeste eyed me curiously as she sat down beside Meredith. She was quiet as she watched me with a contemplative look on her face. “Ryder, could you get me a Coke?”
“Sure.” Without another word, he got up to retrieve it.
When he was out of earshot, she snapped her head around and looked at me. “Mer thinks you had sex with Cade. Is that true?” Anger laced her words, which surprised me. I wasn’t sure why she would be upset over something like that.
“Really?” I shot a glare at Meredith. “I never said that.” I plopped my pathetic “hamburger steak” down on my plate and relished in the disgusted look on Celeste’s face. If she was going to be a bitch, I would too. I hadn’t done anything to her.
“Uh huh…does Ryder know you’re seeing someone else?”
“No, and he doesn’t need to. We’re not together, and it’s none of his business.”
She shook her head. “Dude, he’s really into you.”
“Well I don’t know what to tell you.” I shrugged, but on the inside I was surprised at my own words. Even I couldn’t deny the fact that I broke out in chills around Cade and my heart beat as if it would burst when I was around him. If I was honest with myself, I had never felt that way before about anyone. Not even with either of my previous boyfriends, and I had thought I was in love with them.
“Wow, this neighbor of yours must be something special. If I’d have told you that about Ryder a few days ago, you’d have flipped.”
“Cade gets me. I can’t say that about many people. It doesn’t matter though; I don’t want a boyfriend.” He knew I lied to the world about who I was. There was more to me than I let people see. It kept me safe. I pretended to be fine when sometimes all I wanted to do was cry. No one seemed to understand it, so I hid it from the world—except from him.
“Well, you have to tell him something.” Her voice dropped lower as Ryder neared the table.
“I don’t have to tell him anything. He’s not even told me he likes me.”
“It’s a pretty well-known fact.”
“One that he hasn’t told me,” I hissed under my breath.
Ryder sat the soda down in front of Celeste and eyed me peculiarly. “So, algebra was awful today.”
“Yea, I would have rather had my eyes ripped out of my head,” I said.
“Isn’t that what happened while we were in there?” he asked, smiling at me.
“Possibly.”
“Mr. Watson likes to torture his students. I hear that he kidnaps them and reads math problems to them until their brains explode.” A smile curved at the edge of his lips.
Ugh, now I felt guilty. He was flirting with me, with no idea that I was interested in someone else.
“I heard he makes them solve equations until their fingers bleed,” Celeste chimed in, her voice full of fun as she looked to Ryder for approval. He smiled at her.
I laughed. “I hear he carves mathematical formulas into their bodies in the basement.”
“Ew,” Meredith responded.
“That was a good one,” Ryder said and continued with our new game. “I heard…”
But I tuned him out. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Celeste glaring at me. Her eyes moved over to Ryder and then back to me. They widened as if to tell me to say something to him. I shook my head and dug into my food. If he brought it up, we’d talk about it. Until then, I was going to savor every moment of my meat eating habits, much to the disgust of the others.
Chapter Eleven
Later that week, I sat in my room waiting for Cade to show up, so he could teach me all about the secret passages in my house. Kirk Cobain sang into my ears as I stretched.
“You should kill yourself.”
I paused and looked around, trying
to find the source of that faint whisper. Maybe I was hearing things. It wouldn’t be the first time. There were always weird whispers through the house, flickering lights, and things moving around. The activities had slowly increased over the past few weeks.
Moving to the center of the room, I stretched up to the sky and closed my eyes. My muscles relaxed as I bent over and let my body give enough to touch my toes. Afterwards, I walked over to change the music. Fear shot through me, my body freezing as my eyes settled on the razor blade sitting on my notebook. It should have been in its hiding place because I hadn’t moved it.
How’d that get there?
Carefully I picked it up and tossed it in the trashcan. I retrieved my bag from across the room and came back to sit down at my desk. I pulled out my algebra book and went to set it down when I noticed the razor back on my table.
“Just do it.”
There it was again—a whisper in the empty room, but there was no one around to have spoken it. It was a young girl’s voice, trying to coax me into slitting my wrists. Reaching down to the razor, I considered it for a moment. Then I remembered my conversation with Cade and walked over to my bedside table to put it back where it belonged. He’d told me to watch my thoughts. I slammed the drawer shut. Cade kept me accountable now, and I had to respect that.
“There are other ways to kill yourself.” The voice was louder, audible like a human’s would be, and it was closer.
I whirled around and found the origin of the voice. A thin girl in a doll mask stood across the room. Her black hair hung loosely from her head and bloody scratches ran down her arms. The marks reminded me of the girl from the party. Her eyes stared back at me, empty and evil.
“Who are you?” I asked and stepped toward the doorway. “Did you possess that girl?” Was she going to try to possess me? I’d never seen a ghost before, and I didn’t know they could appear so real.
She tilted her head to the side and took a few slow steps toward me without a word.
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