The Life She Couldn't See

by ChaShiree M.

  Phew. That takes the knot out of my stomach.

  “So. Kea. May I call you Kea?”

  “Of course.”

  “Kea, what is your end goal as far as Cole is concerned?”

  “I would like to adopt him.”

  “I see. You were the social worker that removed him from his home. Is that correct?”

  “Yes ma'am.”

  “I see you have maintained steady and constant contact with the child. Is that correct?”

  “Yes ma'am. There was something about him that called to me the day I took him from his home. He looked at me with so much trust and sadness, I wanted to wrap him up and protect him. I can’t describe it really. I know somewhere deep inside me, that he is meant to be my little boy.”

  She looks at me as I talk, and I can see the softness of her eyes letting me know she knows I am sincere.

  “Well. Until the father has lost his rights, which cannot happen unless he becomes incarcerated or by the courts, all you can do is foster him. Would you be willing to do that?” Some of the light has deflated hearing that particular piece of information. But I can see the silver lining. I will not give up.

  “Yes of course.”

  “Good. Like I said we will have to have a formal meeting next week. I think we should get a jump start though. Fill out these papers for your background, financials, references, etc… and by the time you come back, we should have covered quite a bit of ground. Sound good?”

  “Sounds excellent.

  I fill out everything and we set an appointment for next Wednesday at two. That gives me time to broach the subject with Colton. I am going to ask him to go and see Cole with me as well. Might as well see if they even gel together.

  I have no idea what I will do if that meeting is a disaster. But somehow, I know it will be alright. Colton is loving and caring. Any kid would be lucky to have him as a father. The thought sends a slight pang of guilt and sorrow to my heart knowing I can never give him one from his own seed. Shaking the thought, I make my way to the door. Colton has made dinner. Who doesn’t love a man that can cook?

  “Welcome back baby.” He says as he leans over and kisses me.

  We have kissed a number of times, even before becoming a us and every time it sends electricity straight to my toes lighting up everything else in its path, including my pussy. When he finally releases my mouth and goes back to cooking, I catch my breath simply taking in the life I have been given. We talk about any and everything while eating, and it feels so good to have someone really listen when I talk.

  “Oh yeah baby. My sister and mom have invited us over for dinner this weekend.”

  Holy shit!!! Meeting his family was always in the back of my mind but like in the far back. Wait ...did he say this weekend?

  “Babe I am going to Kansas City this weekend.”

  “Are you? What kind of trip is it?”

  “Girls trip. My friends and I go to book signing events sometimes, and this weekend is KIKC.”

  “KIKC? What kind of name is that?” Typical man. Making fun of a woman’s fun time. I think rolling my eyes at him and smiling.

  “It stands for Kinky in Kansas City.”

  “Kinky? Should I be worried?”

  “No. It's just a name. It is literally a bunch of authors and readers meeting, and greeting, book signing, and a small teeny weeny after party.”

  “Mmm...hmmm. I see. Ok. Well when do you come home?”

  “Sunday afternoon.”

  “Then it all works out because dinner is Sunday evening.” Oh great. I think trying to hide the fact that I am a nervous wreck.

  We spend the rest of the night after I take some Aleve, curled up on the couch watching The Hunger Games. What can I say, I am a Katniss fan. Turns out, so is he. Did I mention he is perfect?

  Chapter 17

  KEA

  I cannot believe it’s Friday already. I guess it's true what they say about time flying when you are having fun. I am having a lot of that. Colton and I haven’t just stayed in the house the past few days. We have gone on dates. Like, real dates. He surprised me yesterday and picked me up from work. We ended up going to dinner at my favorite Italian restaurant, and then opted to see a scary movie. Now, I hate scary movies. But this was not so bad, with my head buried inside his chest. I couldn’t tell you the first thing about the movie, but I could definitely tell you what cologne he was wearing. I love sniffing him.

  Everything about the comfortable nature of the routine we have fallen into is domestic, fun, and sexy as hell. There is not a place in his house where he hasn’t eaten, fucked, or made love to me. We can't keep our hands off each other and I love it.

  I left work early today because I caught up on all of my paperwork and made sure to check on Cole. I have a bunch of crap to get done for my weekend trip. Not to mention my flight is in three hours. Plus, I need to check on my family. Starting with Phoenix.

  “Hey baby sister, how are you?”

  “Where are you and why are you breathing so funny?”

  “Sorry. I’m packing for the weekend. How are you feeling?”

  “Oh, you know, like an unwed single teen mom.”

  “Baby girl. I’m so sorry. Have you heard from Mikhail at all?”

  “Yes. He is relentless. He calls, comes over, and sends gifts for the baby. All of it.”

  “I see. Are you sure you want to do this? I mean, not talk to him or anything? I know he lied and messed up, but Phoenix if there was ever anyone who loved someone with everything in them, its Mikhail. Are you sure you can’t forgive him?”

  “Right now, Kea, everything is still so fresh. Because of that, for now the answer is no.”

  “Well, I have not given up hope on you two. You shouldn't either. I love you and I am here if you need me.”

  “I know. But enough about me. How's it going with Colton?” I smile when she asks, because my mind goes to all of the things, we have done both naughty and otherwise. All of the conversations and time spent just being ...us.

  “Things are great. If you must know.”

  “It's about time. I’m happy for you Kea. You deserve it all.”

  “Thanks love. I have to go. But please don't hesitate to call me.”

  “I won’t. Be safe and let me know you made it.”

  “I will. Hey is Fae around you?”

  “When is she never. Hold on.” I can hear a muffled conversation in the background, before Fae picks up.

  “Hey big sis. How goes it?” I ask her.

  “It's going. You’re leaving today, right?”

  “Yep. Just checking in before I go. I know Q is in Mumbai for work, so I can’t call her.”

  “Yeah. I am worried about Phoenix.”

  “Me too. I tried to talk to her about Mikhail but she's not ready. I don’t know. What do you think?”

  “I know he messed up, but I also know he loves her and in his own messed up way he thought he was protecting her.”

  “I agree. I guess time will tell. How is my niece?”

  “She is fine. The doctors checked me over and said to stay stress free. So, you know Ren has gone overboard, and I am about ready to brain him.”

  “Haha. You know you love it.”

  “True. Speaking of love. How are things with Mr. Giant?” I chuckle at her nickname for Colton. It's totally accurate. He is huge. Everywhere.

  “Everything is great.”

  “Good. When you have more time, you have to tell me everything.”

  “I will. I have to go. I love you and kiss Tony for me.”

  “Of course. Be safe.”

  “I will.”

  With that, I hang up and finish packing. When I am done and heading out to the airport, I shoot a message to Colton. He is not answering his phone and I need to let him know I am off and will tell him when I make it to the airport. Security check is a breeze, and before you know it, I am in the boarding area with my girls. Carlie and Ashlei have been my rocks ever since we went through traini
ng together. They are the only ones and now Colton, that know of my health issues and the hidden desire I hold to be a mother.

  “Hey ladies. Are we ready for a great time?”

  “Hell yeah.” Ashlei says. “I'm ready to meet some sexy ass models and maybe get me some this weekend. Mama needs an orgasm.” Ashlei, at a book signing is pure trouble. That girl gets more model ass than a toilet seat.

  “You know I’m ready. Let's do a checklist.” Carlie. The one that keeps us organized and on track. Without her, our book weekends would turn into a ‘hangover type weekend’.

  “Alright ladies. In air reading material?” I answer first, because of course I have Ridin’ Nerdy by Annelise Reynolds…

  “I got mine.” I pull it out and they hang their heads.

  “Really girl? Ridin’ Nerdy again. I mean you should be able to write the screenplay for it, you have read it so much.” It's true. But it is like Annelise Reynolds at her best. Fun, sexy and quirky. Ashlei saves me from having to defend myself again.

  “I got The Wild by K Webster.” Of course, she does. That girl has never read a taboo story she didn’t love or want to act out. Lol

  “And Carlie, what do you have?”

  “I have the new Colbie Kay book Runaway Love. Holy shit. I want to cut my eyes out and cry all at once. Bitch was going through some shit with this.”

  “Great. Who has the onboard booze?”

  We all raise our hands. Yep this weekend is going to be fun.

  We spend the plane ride reading, talking, and drinking. When it’s time to get off, we are not drunk but blissfully happy. We have exactly two hours to get to the hotel, freshen up, and change before the meet and greet with the authors and models. As soon as I get in the hotel, while the other girls are going in and out of the bathroom, I message Colton and both my sisters.

  Finally, I get up to get ready. We do about three of these a year, and though I always have a blast and participate in everything; this is the first time I am looking forward to the meet and greet. Not for the obvious reasons. I mean yes, I would love to meet Annelise Reynolds and hope and pray she is downstairs. But this time around, I feel...I don’t know fantastic. I feel confident, safe, and without hindrance. I owe that to Colton.

  The meet and greet is hopping and lively by the time we make it down. Everywhere you look there are models, authors, and readers. I feel in my element here, amongst others like myself that appreciate the written word. The girls and I make plans to meet up in the bar in 20. We each pick a section of the hotel and scope out the offerings.

  Within the section of the hotel I’ve chosen, I immediately surmise it is practically dead. There are a couple of models, one being Billy James. At one time I was secretly obsessed with him. Really, what's not to be obsessed about. The man is freaking huge. He is the Incredible Hulk type of huge, and covered head to toe in tattoos. I love a man with tattoos. He has probably graced more book covers than Cindy Crawford has magazines. On this trip though, I am more than impervious to his charm and attributes. I have my own Hulk at home. Making my way back to the bar, I spot Ashlei.

  “Anything?”

  “Yeah girl. I saw a bunch of people. I ran into Cassia Brightmore who was at the bar with K Webster. I was going to make my way over to her and try to play it off and shit, but then Tyler came and sat next to her. Well you know how that one weekend at Wanderlust in Vegas went between us, so I bailed.”

  “Oh shit. Tyler is here? Ashlei…...stay away from him. Remember we don’t revisit. That only lasted a weekend and it was the most toxic relationship you have had.” She rolls her eyes at me because she knows I am right.

  “Yeah, yeah. What about you? See anyone over there?”

  “Nah. No one but Billy James.”

  “Did you go and talk to him?”

  “No. Why would I do that?”

  “I don’t know...maybe because you have been obsessed with the guy for like ever.”

  “Nah. I’m good.”

  She looks at me as if I sprouted two heads or something. Her mouth is hanging open and her eyes convey disbelief.

  “Holy shit Kea! You are really gone for Colton, aren't you? I mean, like really gone.” I can feel my smile getting bigger and bigger as I admit this to her.

  “I love him Ash. He is what has been missing from my life.”

  “Wow. I never thought I would see the day you would let someone in. I am so happy for you girl.”

  “Thanks.” I tell her trying to wipe the moisture from my eyes. Right on time comes Carlie.

  “Hey ladies. Anybody good?” We answer in unison with the negative.

  “Dang. OK some of the models and authors are having a party in one of the author’s rooms. Wanna go?”

  Ashlei and I look at each other then back at Carlie and we both decline. I don’t know what Ashlei’s reason is, but mine is I always get the worst case of jetlag and end up groggy and tired the next day if I don’t get any sleep.

  “Not me. I am going to head up, call Colton, and say goodnight before I pass out.”

  “Yea me too. I know Tyler is going to end up showing up and that is just one accident I want to avoid.”

  “Oh shit...Tyler’s here?” See, even Carlie is freaked out.

  “Yes, and we have been over it already.”

  “Well hell. If y'all bitches ain’t going, then neither am I. There is no way in hell I want to be in the same confined space as him.”

  That is why I love these girls. Anyone else would have gone and not cared. But we stick together. You can’t find friendship like that. We head upstairs. Pajamas on and ready for bed, I call Colton.

  “Hey babe.”

  “My little Kea. How is your trip going so far?”

  “Great. What have you been up to?”

  “Just catching up on some work and missing you. Why aren’t you sleep?”

  “I am about to. I just wanted to hear your voice before I pass out.”

  “I get it little mama. I don’t want you getting worn out from the travel so get to bed. I love you.”

  “I love you too Colton.”

  “Sleep tight….my everything.”

  Aaaah!

  “You too.” With those last words replaying over and over in my head, I fall into a deep sleep.

  The next morning is a flurry of rushed movement, showering, and getting things organized. We seem to always oversleep the next morning. As usual we have VIP tickets, which means we have to be downstairs at nine, and that is in exactly thirty minutes. Once I am dressed, I grab all of my books I want autographed and my apparel. I glance for one more final check to make sure I have everything. When the girls realize what I am wearing they harass me non-stop.

  “Kea. Seriously, with the shirt? You are going to get us removed from the premises. Forget getting into the signing.”

  I don’t know what she is complaining about. I think it’s funny and surely Annelise will too. My shirt has ‘PsychoFanGirl has arrived’ on the front and on the back, it says, ‘Now point me towards the emergency exits and Annelise Reynolds.’ See hilarious.

  “For fuck sake Kea. We didn’t bring bail money.” Carlie says laughing and holding her stomach.

  “Shut up wenches. Let’s go. I pull out my ball cap and put it on as well. They both shake their heads at me. All it says is ‘Jenika Snow’s Bitch’ on it. They know I go all out for these things. I have exactly ten books in my hands to be signed, my wheel bound buggy to buy more, and I am all set to go.

  OMG!!! I cannot believe I am finally going to meet Annelise Reynolds and Jenika Snow. I feel myself beginning to hyperventilate and I try to calm down. We wait for what seems like forever to get in, but once we are in the girls and I inhale the smell of REAL books. The kind you can flip the corner and hold in your hand. I immediately consult my map and see Annelise is four tables down to the right.

  “Kea, I don’t think you should be alone right now. I am going to go with you.” I vaguely hear Ashlei say something, but all I can see and hear
is my way to the table.

  “Hey ladies. I am Annelise Reynolds. Thanks for stopping by my table. How can I help you?” Suddenly all rational thought abandons me. I can’t form one single word. All I can do is stare at the goddess of prose. My mental faculties have given up on me.

  “Kea. You have been talking about meeting this woman for like ever and now you decide you’re a mute?” My eyes blink rapidly as if their trying to communicate in Morse code. What it is, I have no idea. I only hope someone can decipher it because I cannot.

  “Holy hell. She is really awestruck. I am so sorry Ms. Reynolds.”

  “It’s ok. Let me try. Hun, did you bring books for me to sign?” I nod. I freaking nod. What the hell is happening to me.

  Ashlei hands her all the books I want her to sign and she laughs at how worn Ridin’ Nerdy is.

  “I see you have read this one a lot, huh?” Again, I go with the nodding. WTF!

  “You have to excuse her. She is absolutely obsessed with you and I think this is all so overwhelming for her right now.”

  “Obsessed with me? Seriously. I am a nobody.”

  “Not to Kea. Look at her shirt.”

  I can feel Ashlei turning me around to show her my shirt and the last thing I register is Annelise Reynolds laughing and saying how awesome my shirt is. Now she is coming around the table to take a picture with me and my shirt. She suggests we should totally do a kidnapping shot and that’s it. I faint. I think.

  When I open my eyes, Annelise is down by my head and Ashlei is looking at me, laughing and shaking her head.

  “Oh hun, are you ok?”

  “Yes.” I say with my voice a bit rough. At least now I finally have a voice.

  “Can you stand?” I take a second to look around noting people looking at me and pointing, taking pictures, no doubt for their fakebook pages. Great. Just what I need.

  “Yes.” Oh great. It seems I have graduated from nodding to one-word sentences.

  “I take it you’re a fan, huh?” She asks with a giggle.

  “Yes.” What am I now...rain man? Gheesh. Snap out of Kea.