Love Through Pain

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Love Through Pain Page 9

by Ancelli


  “You’re dad doesn’t mean what he’s saying.” His mother’s tears threatened to fall. “Javy, don’t leave like this.”

  “I have to, because I don’t want to disrespect your house.” He kissed her again, and started walking out.

  “Javy, for what it’s worth,” his brother yelled. “What you’re doing is awesome.”

  He kept marching out, listening to his parents arguing.

  Thank God, Jazmine didn’t want to come, he thought, jumping into his truck

  ***

  Javier was still angry when he entered his house. He’d never seen this side of his father. He was hardly ever home—working as a trucker—but he never imagined his dad was that prejudiced; if she was a black Hispanic he wouldn’t care. His mom always said, everybody was equal, no matter what.

  He slammed the door shut, and leaned against it.

  “Are you okay?” Jazmine stood a few feet away from him.

  “Why wouldn’t I be?” he answered, pushing himself off of the door.

  Jazmine followed him. “Your mom called, she was worried about you.”

  “Why?” He continued to the kitchen, and leaned against the counter.

  “She said you got in an argument with your dad.” Jazmine was concerned.

  He turned, staring at her. “What else did she say?”

  “She was just worried about you.”

  “My father was just being an asshole.” He hit the counter with his fist.

  “Is it about the baby?” Her eyes pierced his.

  “It doesn’t matter, Jazmine.” He moved closer to her, and touched her belly. “He’s my son, no matter what anyone one has to say.”

  “Thank God.” She took a lengthy breath. “I don’t think I could’ve survived if you would’ve told me you’d changed your mind.” A tear escaped her left eye.

  His gently wiped it away with his thumb. “I would never do that to him, or you.”

  Javier wrapped his arms around her, and Jazmine accepted his embrace. “Good ‘cause he’ll probably be here in less than a month.”

  He pulled away and drew a black velvet bag out his pocket.

  She stared at his hand. “What’s that?”

  He opened it, pulling out a bracelet. “For you, give me your hand.”

  Her eyes shined with unshed tears, as she lifted her wrist. He placed the gold bracelet around her wrist and secured it. She gently touched every detail on it. It was her name, Jazmine, with initials at the end, N. J. M.

  “N. J. M.?” She still stared at the gold and diamond bracelet.

  “It’s my son’s initials. You said you didn’t want to know his name, but this way you have a piece of him with you. Turn it around.”

  She flipped it. His phone number was engraved in it.

  “Jazmine,” he cupped her face, “if you ever need me just call, and I will move heaven and earth to make it to you.”

  She just gazed into his amazing brown irises. Javier lost it for a few seconds, needing to feel her lips at least once. He bowed his head, and she met him halfway. Their lips touched, and he felt electricity he’d never experienced with anyone, not even Sandra. The kiss wasn’t passionate, but he felt his whole body go numb. Jazmine’s lips were soft and tasted sweet.

  Javier broke their connection, and her eyes were still closed. He caressed her neck as she opened her eyes. “I will always be here for you.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  It was a Saturday afternoon, and Javier was home alone. Jazmine had one of her focus group things to attend. He’d insisted she should stop working until the baby was born, but she said she couldn’t take any time off from work.

  The doorbell rang, and he rose, he wiped his eyes, and stared through the peephole.

  He opened the door. “Monica, what are you doing here?” Irritation colored his words. He didn’t like unexpected visitors.

  “I came to check up on a friend.” She squeezed by and entered his home.

  Monica flounced through the room and plopped onto the couch. He closed the door with his foot.

  “Javy, I know you were mad at me for telling your dad she was black, but I thought he knew,” she said nonchalantly.

  He stood glaring at her. “You knew exactly what you were doing, but as you can tell it didn’t work. My son will be here very soon.”

  “That’s what I wanted to tell you. I want to help you with him when he’s born.”

  He walked over to her, and sat. “Why?”

  “I thought about it, baby, I love you, and if this is what you want. I’m here to support you.” She grasped his hand.

  “When did this change?” He narrowed his eyes.

  “Javy, I love you, and I know you said we’ll take things slowly.” She eased next to him. “But I want you, no matter how far away you’ll be.” Monica nuzzled his neck.

  His cock throbbed. “Monica…”

  She gazed at him.

  “I’m not ready for marriage.”

  “But you’re ready for a baby?” She placed her palms on his chest.

  “It’s different.” He pushed up, wrapping his fingers around her ass.

  “How?” She arched her brow.

  They both stared at the door when they heard it click. Fuck, his first thought, Jazmine.

  The door opened, and he saw Jazmine’s eyes widen in surprise to see Monica, but he also saw a little pain in her grimace.

  “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” Jazmine stood at the threshold.

  “Jazz, it’s okay.” He jumped, moving Monica off his lap. He knew how it looked, he didn’t have a shirt on, and she was sitting on him.

  “What is she doing here?” Monica’s arms crossed over her breast.

  Jazmine ran out of the area to their bedroom.

  He rushed after her, but the door was locked. He didn’t like the hurt he saw in Jazmine’s eyes; he knocked lightly, and she didn’t answer, making him sigh. What was going on? When he returned to Monica, she was angry, her face was red and her lips thinned into a near invisible line. “What the hell is going on?”

  “I don’t need to explain shit to you.”

  “Excuse me, yes you do. You ask me for time, for what? To see her?” Her hands were flailing in front of her as she spoke.

  “She’s here until the baby’s born, and then she’s disappearing. So no, she’s not the reason, you are.” He raised his voice. “I can’t take all the accusations and distrust.”

  “But you cheated on me,” Monica whined.

  “Yes, you’re right Monica. I made a mistake.” He tried to calm down and see things her way. “But you tend to forget, you’ve done your dirt; the only difference is, I don’t throw it in your face.”

  “Arrrr,” she growled, walking to the door. “When the baby is born I will still help you.” She slammed the door behind her.

  She’s fucking crazy, he thought.

  ***

  Jazmine didn’t know what came over her, the anger she felt when she saw Javier with Monica. She’d been having weird feelings for Javy. But this was only supposed to be about the baby, and now, she was falling for him. She’d never had a problem telling anyone what she thought, and this time wouldn’t be different.

  She slipped out of the bed, and started packing her suitcase. It was about that time—every night he came in around nine to read to his son. She rubbed her tummy. “You’re going to have the best daddy.” Her eyes filled with tears. “That’s my gift to you.”

  Right on cue, there was a knock on the door.

  “Come in.”

  He had a smile on his face as he pushed the door open, until he saw her packing her suitcases. “You’re leaving?” He stalked closer to her.

  “Yes,” she answered without looking at him.

  “Why?”

  She didn’t answer, as she continued folding her clothes.

  He took the clothes from her, and gently clutched her hand. “Jazz, why are you leaving? Did I do something wrong?” He stared at her with those fathomless
eyes.

  She was holding in the tears, not allowing them to spill until he lifted her chin up to meet his gaze. “Tell me.”

  Her lips trembled. “You haven’t done anything wrong.”

  “Then why are you leaving? Is it because Monica was here? If it is, I’ll tell her not to come by.”

  “What? No, this is your house, and you can have anyone you want over.”

  “You’re supposed to stay here until the baby’s born.” Concern etched his tone.

  “I’m going back to the hotel until the baby’s born. I’ll call you when I’m in labor.” She peered down.

  “Look at me.”

  She lifted her gaze.

  “We were having fun, getting to know each other. I will even go as far to say we’ve become friends, so tell me the truth.”

  “I have feelings for you,” she whispered.

  He stared at her in surprise. “What?”

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for this to happen, this was supposed to be about you adopting this baby, and somewhere in-between, my emotions got involved. You’ve done everything right.” She backed away, wiping at her cheeks.

  “I haven’t done everything right if you’re leaving.” He gazed at her, not moving a muscle.

  She stared at him. “At first I thought it was because I see you as my hero, the man that saved me. Maybe I was confusing my feelings, and then you offered to raise my baby.” She took a deep breath. “But then I got to know you, the way you already treat him, the way you treat me—I have to move out, out of respect for you and Monica.”

  He just stared at her.

  “I know, I misunderstood your actions, but I can’t help it.” She stared at him. “I know you don’t feel the same way I do.”

  He took three strides and stood in front of her. Javier cupped her face with his hands, and wiped her tears with his thumbs. He gazed into her eyes. “You’re wrong.”

  In one swift move, he captured her mouth with his, catching her off guard. She wasn’t expecting it. His tongue teased her lips open, and he gently licked at the crease of her mouth. Javier sucked on her lips, and then her tongue as her hands made their way to his neck, pulling him closer, enjoying the way his tongue glided over hers. Jazmine could feel moisture leaking from her core. The kiss was passionate, full of desire; his hands pulled her hair. Her legs buckled, but he held her flush against his form. He nipped her bottom lip and pulled back, gasping for air, never breaking eye contact with her.

  “I have feelings for you, too,” he whispered against her lips.

  Her chest heaved up and down. This wasn’t supposed to happen, he was supposed to say he didn’t return her feelings.

  “I have to leave,” she whimpered, breaking their connection and rushing to her suitcase, slamming it.

  He just stood there watching her.

  She went to pass by him, and he gripped her wrist. “Why are you running?”

  “Because, I don’t want this,” she rubbed her stomach, “but you do.”

  He released his hold on her.

  “Javier, after this baby is born, please let me go. Don’t look for me.” She tried not to look back, leaving the bedroom, moving straight toward the front door.

  He followed her but didn’t say anything.

  She stopped, looking back. “Thank you for everything. You and Monica will make great parents to this baby.” She opened the door and stepped into the evening, closing the door behind her. Bye.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Jazmine struggled to get into her truck. She placed her hand on the door handle and struggled to climb up. She finally sat and put the key in the ignition. She burst out crying. Everything in her life was a mess. A sharp pain stabbed the side of her stomach, and she rubbed it. “Ouch!”

  She grabbed the steering wheel, holding onto it until her knuckles paled. “Are you that mad at me, that I didn’t let him read to you?” She took a deep breath. “Aren’t you tired of hearing him read the same book?” Another contraction hit. “You gotta be shitting me, this can’t be happening.”

  Javier’s front door opened, and she could see him watching her.

  She turned the key in the ignition and started the vehicle. “No, no, no… Not now.” She tried to shift gears, and another one hit her. “You didn’t even give me warning!” Jazmine’s breathing became labored.

  Javier must have known something was wrong, because he strolled over to her truck and knocked on the window. She pushed the button, and the window slid down.

  “Yes!” She gripped the steering wheel tighter.

  “Jazz, we need to talk.” He gazed at her. “I never said Monica…”

  “I can’t right now!” she wailed as another contraction rocked her body.

  He watched her, first in disbelief, and then in concern. “What’s wrong?”

  “I think I’m in labor,” she hissed, now holding her belly. “This kid is coming.”

  His eyes widened. “You’re in what?” he raised his voice.

  “Baby…” she let out a breath, “is coming now!”

  “But, I thought we had a couple weeks.” Javier was still at the passenger window. She could tell he was nervous, and then he grinned. “My son is coming.”

  “Really…” She closed her eyes, and then took short breath, waiting for the contraction to end.

  Javier rushed over to her side. “Can you move over?”

  She slowly maneuvered herself over to the passenger side, and Javier jumped in.

  He put the gear into reverse, and then into drive, speeding off to the hospital.

  “You’re doing great, love.” He held her hand.

  She squeezed tight. He’d just called her, love, and her heart did double flips. Did he really have feelings for her? Javier had become her reason for smiling, her life support. What would she do without him?

  ***

  At the hospital she was immediately admitted to the maternity ward.

  Javier wiped the sweat from her forehead with a wet cloth, and he could see the pain in her eyes, but she didn’t scream. She just grabbed the sheets in her fist, and swore at him.

  “We should’ve gone to the birth classes.” His smirk disappeared when he looked at her, and she rolled her eyes.

  “It’s too late to say we should’ve.” She gripped the railing of the bed, and pushed.

  The doctor was in between her legs, telling her when to push and when to stop. “Stop, stop pushing!” the doctor raised her voice, startling everyone in the room.

  Javier saw the panic in the doctors’ eyes.

  “What’s wrong?” Jazmine was agitated. Her hair was plastered to her head. Sweat glistened off her face when she lifted her chin. “Please don’t let anything happen to him, please…”

  The doctor looked at her, and then at him. “His umbilical cord is wrapped around his neck.” Javier saw her grabbing something from around the baby’s neck. “Don’t push.”

  Her breathing was short. “Is he going to be okay?” Her tears rolled down her face. “He has to be okay.” She looked up at Javier.

  He kissed her forehead. “He is going to fine.” He was nervous as he watched the doctor pull the cord over his son’s head.

  The doctor lifted her head, and smiled. “Okay mom, one more push.” Jazmine pushed, and the doctor grabbed the baby.

  Javier took a deep breath, and held it. He didn’t exhale until he heard the baby cry.

  ***

  Jazmine gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. They even allowed him to cut the umbilical cord. He weighed in at seven pounds, three ounces, and measured twenty inches long.

  The nurse cleaned up the baby, and then wrapped him up.

  “Ma’am do you want to hold your baby?” Jazmine shook her head and turned to her side.

  “Jazmine are you sure?”

  She wiped her fallen tears. “I don’t want to see him, please take him out of the room.”

  The nurse looked at her, and then at him.

  “I’ll take him.” Javi
er gently took the baby in his arms.

  “I’ll come back later.” The nurse made a hasty exit.

  Javier couldn’t stop smiling. The infant resembled a Hispanic baby. His straight brown hair spiked upward, and the color of his skin was lighter than his. Nicolas pouted his mouth like Jazmine did when she was asleep. His heart melted as he held his son for the first time.

  “Hey, I’m your daddy.” Javier touched his little fingers. His son just stared at him attentively, making him smile. “You know my voice.”

  Javier looked over at Jazmine, seeing tears. His heart broke knowing how difficult it was for her. He wanted to make it all better; he placed the baby in his bassinette and ambled toward her bed. He swept away her tears with his thumb.

  “Jazz, it won’t hurt to see him once,” he said above a whisper.

  She closed her eyes. “I can’t.”

  “Or, you won’t.” Javier moved away, and he resumed pushing the bassinette. He picked him up. “He’s beautiful.” He kissed his tiny hands. “He has your lips.”

  Out of nowhere, Jazmine hollered, and then turned to the other side. “Get out!”

  “Jazz.”

  “Javier, please get out,” she cried. “I don’t want to see or hear him!”

  He stared at her, he knew if she would only look at him, she wouldn’t be able to give him up. But if she wanted them gone, he would leave for now. He strode away with his son in his arms.

  “I’ll be back.” He yanked the door closed behind him.

  ***

  Jazmine waited until he was gone. She placed her feet on the cold floor, and stood, wavering for a few minutes. After a quick search for her clothes and keys, she staggered to the bathroom. She was in pain, both physically and emotionally, but this was the best for all of them. Her stuff was already in her truck, and Javier could call someone to pick him up. She wrote a note to him, and then left.

 

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