Love Through Pain

by Ancelli

  “Tell him I’m busy.” Jazmine stared at all the papers she had strewn across her bed. Since the incident, all she’d done was throw herself more into her work. She’d go into the office at the crack of dawn, and then be one of the last to leave late at night. On the weekends, she brought her work home.

  Her cousin pushed her door, and peeked through the crack. “Can I come in?”

  Jazmine glared at her, annoyed that she’d just opened her door. She’d let her cousin stay with her until she could get back on her feet after being laid off from her job about a month ago. “Yes.”

  Eva stepped into the room sporting a mini dress and high stilettos. Her cousin stared at the mess on her bed. “Jazmine, you can’t continue to avoid him. Just talk to Malcolm, and tell him to leave you alone,” she spoke with compassion.

  Jazmine stared at her. Eva was right, but what would she say when Malcolm questioned her again? Oh, I’m in love with your boy. No, she would avoid him until she couldn’t anymore.

  “You’re right, but I’m busy as you can see, so technically I wasn’t lying.” She picked up her pen and started writing down numbers on a piece of paper, hoping her cousin would take the hint and leave her alone.

  Eva backed away to the door. “Jazmine, you need a life; you can’t always stay stuck in this room, it’s not good for you.”

  Jazmine looked at her over the rim of her glasses. “I do go out.”

  “Your parents’ house doesn’t count. I was happy that you finally went out the other night, and then you came back in less than an hour. You need to mingle. Why don’t you come out to the club tonight?” Her cousin smiled.

  “My clubbing days are over. Have fun Eva.” Jazmine waved her hand at her, saying bye.

  “Well if you change your mind, I leave in an hour.” She pulled the door shut behind her.

  ***

  Javier banged on the front door, the house was huge. He made some friends at the Military Police station and had them look up her address. If they couldn’t have helped him, he would’ve used his IT skills and hacked into the phone records.

  He lifted his fist to bang again, when a tall, light skinned lady answered the door. She smiled at him, showing all her pearly white teeth. “Well hello, how can I help you?”

  Javier took a step back, looked at the number on the house, and the one on the piece of paper, maybe he wrote the number incorrectly. “I think I have the wrong house,” he murmured about to turn around.

  “Wait, who are you looking for?”

  “Jazmine O’Neal.”

  “You got the right residence.” She stepped to the side, and then extended her hand. “My name is Eva, I’m Jazmine’s cousin. Come in.”

  “Hi Eva, I’m Javier.” He shook her hand and passed by her, observing Jazmine’s home.

  The living room walls were painted in a pastel pink and beige, the sectional couch was beige and bracketed with two black end tables. She had two tall bookshelves with—he assumed—family pictures. The entertainment center matched her tables.

  “How do you know Jazmine?” her cousin asked, crossing her hands over her chest, which pushed up her breasts. Cleavage filled the V of her neckline.

  “We met on her business trip.” He examined the room, looking up the stairs, assuming Jazz’s bedroom was up there.

  “Is she expecting you?” She tossed her brown hair to the side.

  “Yes.” He was tired of talking to Eva, he needed to see Jazmine, not answer her cousin’s questions. “Is she here?”

  “She’s working in her room.” She shifted, closing the door. “She didn’t tell me you were coming, but then again, she also didn’t tell me not to let you in.”

  Javier was a little irate that Eva just let him in. What if he was here to hurt her? He was grateful she believed him, but he would talk to Jazmine about it later, but right now, all he wanted to do was make Jazmine his.

  “First door on the left.” Eva sashayed from the living room into the kitchen.

  Javier took the steps one by one, nervous thinking of what he would say. Nicky and his happiness depended on the outcome of this conversation.

  He reached the top. Her room door was crack opened, he could see her on the bed with papers scattered all over the mattress. Watching her so involved in her work brought back memories of when he used to interrupt her to read to Nicky.

  Javier pushed the door wider and slowly stepped into her room, locking the door behind him. Her head was down, and she was so deep in her thoughts that she didn’t hear him. He took one more step and stopped cold when he saw Nicky’s blue blanket next to her.

  Jazmine took off her glasses and yawned. She must have felt his presence because she lifted her head and their eyes met.

  “Mrs. Martinez.” He prowled closer to her bed.

  Jazmine stared at him, but she didn’t seem surprised. “Javier.” It was as if she had no doubt he would show up.

  Javier just gazed at her. Damn, he’d missed her; he needed her like he needed his next breath. If she told him to leave, he would—though it might kill him. He wouldn’t leave without trying. Javier pulled a pink piece of paper from his pocket, opened it, and read it.

  “How do you tell a friend you’re falling in love with him?” He studied her face, and he saw it in her eyes, she’d recognized the sticky note. “Jazmine, why didn’t you just tell me?”

  “You kept it.” She avoided his stare. “I tried to.”

  “I have every note you’ve given me.” Javier folded the note and placed it back in his pocket. “You told me you had feelings for me, and then ran, and when I tried to tell you how I felt, you went into labor.”

  Her head snapped up. “I didn’t plan that.” He could tell she was nervous, tugging on her shirt.

  He chuckled low. “I know that, but after Nicky was born, you ran.”

  “That was the plan.”

  “Some arrangements are meant to be changed.” He took another step. “Jazz, if you look me in the eye and tell me you don’t want us, I’ll leave and never bother you again.” He sighed. “I want you in my life, but you have to want to be in it. I know he isn’t what you wanted, but I also believe he is what you need. Babe, we can make this work.”

  She didn’t answer. She just sat there as tears filled her eyes.

  If she told him to leave, he would be hurt, but his son came first. She would have to accept them as one, or the relationship wouldn’t work. When she didn’t speak, he turned around, strolled to the door, and placed his hand on the knob, unlocking it as he pulled it open. A palm slammed it shut.

  “I want you in my life,” Jazmine said quietly from behind. “Not a day has gone by that I don’t think about you.”

  Javier turned and looked down into her lovingly emotional eyes, which mirrored what he felt, love and compassion. “What about Nicky?”

  She wiped her cheeks. “I think about him night and day. My heart aches for him, but I don’t want to hurt him.”

  He cupped her face. “What did you see when you held your son?” Javier could see the confusion on her face. “Did you see your attackers, or did you see a beautiful baby?”

  She covered his hands with hers. “I saw Nicolas Justin Martinez.” She pulled him forward and gave him a feather light kiss, speaking against his lips. “I want you both.”

  Javier wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her forward, teasing her lips with his tongue, easing it into her mouth. Her lips were soft and luscious, she tasted of mint—he sucked on her bottom one, and then nipped at the top.

  Jazmine pulled back. “Javier I’m messed up,” she said without looking at him.

  He tipped her chin so he could peer at her. “Me too, but you make me better.” He caressed her chin with his fingers. “We’ll make a great team.” Javier bent his head and nipped at her neck. “No excuses. We can survive anything together.” He said against her collarbone.

  Jazmine groaned.

  “I want to know everything about you. I want to be the man you seek
out to make all your dreams come true.” He raised his head.

  Her lips curled. “You’re the only one that knows the real me,” she got on her tiptoes and kissed his Adam apple, then his chin, and lips. “You already made one fantasy come true.”

  Javier sucked on the side of her neck, making her moan. He kissed his way back to her chin. “Do you want me to stop?” he asked against her mouth.

  “No…” she whispered back.

  He grabbed her hand, placing it on his erection. “Then, take what’s yours.”

  Javier wanted Jazmine to be in control, he knew he could be rough. He didn’t want their first time to bring back haunting memories. His body was hers to do whatever she wanted. “I’ve never wanted anyone the way I want you.”

  Jazmine’s smirked with naughty twinkle in her eyes as her hands slipped under his shirt. His body tensed. He groaned, closing his eyes as her soft fingers traveled up his torso.

  ~~~

  Javier opened his eyes, and they were a darker shade of blue. She could see the desire he had for her, and it made her wet. She knew he was holding back, giving her control. Javier helped her remove his shirt and threw it on the floor. She dipped her head and began giving him wet kisses, starting at his nipples. They harden under the attack of her lips. Jazmine traced the new addition to his tattoo, NJM, under the anchor. He took her fingers, and then kissed each tip, one by one.

  “NJM…” she whispered.

  “My son’s initials, and yours, too.” He kissed her palm. “In a different order.”

  She lovingly looked at him.

  “Jazmine Nicole Martinez…”

  Jazmine took his hand in hers and led him to her bed. He had a huge grin on his face. She pushed him on the bed, making the papers crinkle under his body.

  “Your work.” He leaned on his elbows, shoving her documents out of the way.

  She grabbed the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head, tugging on the buttons to her shorts, allowing them to drop down her legs. She stood in her black underwear watching the bulge grow in his pants.

  Jazmine climbed on top of him, placing her hands over his chest. “You’re more important than my work.” She leaned down, kissing his left nipple.

  Javier closed his eyes as she pecked his torso, her tongue made tiny circles over his hard bud. He gripped some of her papers in his hands as she moved up to his neck, and then sucked the sensitive area under his earlobe, slowly making her way to his lips.

  “You’re beautiful.” He slightly tugged her hair so she could look at him, their eyes met. “I want you so bad.” He thrust up. She could feel how rigid his cock was as she moved her hips back.

  “You said I’m in control. No moving.” She took his hands in hers and placed them above his head.

  Javier bit his lower lip. “I’ll try.”

  Jazmine unhooked her bra and tossed it aside. She began touching her nipples while grinding down on him. His eyelids were low, and she knew he was fighting an internal battle to let her maintain control.

  “Jazmine, stop teasing me…” he said between groans.

  She began traveling down his lean body, using her fingers to unbutton and unzip his pants. Javier moved his hands and pushed them down, kicking them away.

  She stared at him. “I didn’t tell you to move.”

  He smiled and placed his hands back where they were. Javier followed her every movement with his eyes.

  His rock hard cock stood at attention. Damn, he was big, she thought. She wrapped her hand around his rod and couldn’t even close her grip. She hoped she could handle his girth and size. Her mouth watered, and she brushed her lips against the base and he lost it.

  “Sorry babe, but I can’t take this anymore.” Javier sat up, gripped her waist, and flipped them around.

  She was now below him, laughing. “I knew you wouldn’t last.” She cupped his face. “I know you would never hurt me.” She pulled him down, passionately kissing him.

  “I’ll take you to Victoria Secret.” He wrapped his fingers around her lacy panties and tore the sides, and then unexpectedly stopped.

  “Why’d you stop?” She kept grinding on his dick. She placed her hand in between them, and stroked his shaft, making him close his eyes. She was about to force him in, when he pushed up. Suddenly sadness filled her. “Are you seeing the battered me?”

  He swiftly caressed her neck. “No, Jazmine, I see you, a strong, beautiful, intelligent woman who survived the unthinkable. Don’t ever question my desire for you.”

  “Then what is it?” Dread of his answer gripped her.

  “I don’t have a condom,” he went to move, but she held him place.

  Relief replaced her fear. “Have you been using protection?”

  He moved a strand of her hair. “I’ve always used protection.”

  “There’s always a first time.” Jazmine grabbed his cock, and then began rubbing it on her sweetness.

  ~~~

  “Are you sure?” He touched her bottom lip.

  She nodded and rolled them over. Climbing back on top of him, she slowly began to take him within her, inch by inch. Jazmine took her time, and he held onto her waist, trying to keep her from moving too quickly. The sensation was over whelming, and he wanted to savor this moment. His cock was in pussy heaven, and it felt so damn good.

  Jazmine started rotating her hips in a circular motion. “Javier…” she whimpered. “Oh God…” She grabbed onto his shoulders.

  “Fuck… Baby, you’re so warm and wet.” He slowly thrust up into her rippling channel. Her muscles gripped onto him, and he moved faster. “You’re so fucking tight.” He gave her long, deep strokes.

  She followed his lead, and her fingernails dug into his flesh. She straightened and started bouncing up and down. “Yes, yes…” she murmured. “Oh … shit … yes…”

  He pulled her down and captured her lips, his tongue mimicked the strokes he was giving her, he fingered her clit, and she lost it. Her legs locked, making her body jerk, and he could feel her juices cover his cock. She arched her back, and then yelled his name as she wildly rolled her hips.

  The contractions of her pussy took him over the edge. Javier was unable to control himself, his fingers dug into her side, and he grounded her down as he thrust up with no mercy.

  Another orgasm hit Jazmine. She shook and her pussy tightened around his shaft. It took him to the edge and over into ecstasy. So explosive, he couldn’t catch his breath.

  “Did … I … hurt you?” he asked between gasps.

  “No,” she whispered, lying on his chest.

  He could feel her ragging heartbeat in sync with his own. His hands stroked her back and ass. “I love you… Jazmine,” he’d never said that to any woman, because he never felt for anyone the way he did for Jazmine. His dick was still embedded, feeling her tiny convolutions.

  She didn’t answer, and he was disappointed until she heard her snoring. He chuckled to himself, they could make this work. Anything worth having is never easy.

  ***

  Jazmine grinned as her eyes fluttered open, feeling his taunt muscles under her fingers. She felt pain and pleasure, her core ached, but she wanted more. Javier made her feel alive again. Her life was finally falling back into place. She circled his nipples, and then crossed her hands over his chest, placing her chin on them. She smiled when Javier’s bright eyes met hers.

  “Hi.”

  Javier’s hands stroked her back. “You’re really here.”

  “Yes,” she nipped his chin. “Where’s Nicky?”

  “He’s with my mom.” He pulled on the covers exposing her ass.

  “Oh.”

  “This is the first time I had to take him home. I don’t trust leaving him with anyone else that long. I’m picking him up on Sunday.”

  Jazmine pressed her mouth to his chest. “I can’t wait to hold him again.”

  “And I bet he can’t wait to be in your arms. His first week home was hell,” he chuckled, “and I think it’s beca
use he missed you—your heartbeat and voice.” He caressed her cheeks.

  “I cried myself to sleep so many nights,” she sighed. “I missed his first Christmas.”

  “Honey, he’s not old enough to remember that Christmas, and now we’ll have all the holidays together.”

  “I can’t wait.”

  “Our anniversary is next month.” He combed his fingers through her tresses.

  “We’re not married anymore.” She sat up.

  Javier scooted up, looking confused. “Who said?”

  “I sent you the annulment documents.” Jazmine pushed the rest of her work papers off the bed.

  “I never received them, and I’m guessing you didn’t put on a return address.” He leaned forward touching his forehead to hers. “So, Mrs. Martinez, we’re still married. Is that a problem?”

  “It’s too late. We just consummated our marriage, and it was amazing.” Jazmine caressed his neck up to his ears.

  “Incredible.” He kissed her lips.

  “Hmmm, do that again.” She placed her legs over his.

  “This?” The tip of his tongue met hers.

  Jazmine engulfed his mouth, playing a game of tug and war. “Yes…”

  His dick rubbed against her stomach.

  “We need to go on our first date.” He smirked.

  “Really? We had a baby, married—I think we’ve done everything a little backward.” She snickered.

  “A little?” He arched his brow.

  He flipped her over, settling between her legs, rubbing his cock on her already wet pussy. “You’re ready for me?”

  She wrapped her legs around his back. “What do you think?”