by Gina Wilkins
Arching into his explorations, she closed her eyes and threaded her fingers into his hair. “I just happen to be available all night,” she managed to say.
He lifted his head from his downward path just long enough to flash her a wickedly beautiful smile. “I can’t tell you how glad I am to hear that.”
The outrageous idea came to her while she was making coffee the next morning. It hit her with enough force to make her stumble, almost dumping coffee grounds on the spotless linoleum floor.
She placed a hand on a countertop to steady her while she took a moment to wonder if she had just slipped over the edge of sanity. Surely she must be crazy to even consider what she suddenly found herself contemplating.
Dimly aware of the sound of the shower running in the back of the house, she knew she had only a few minutes to gather her composure—and, perhaps, her courage—before facing Geoff.
It was still early on this Saturday morning—not quite 8 a.m. She’d woken first, a bit startled with the realization that she wasn’t alone in her bed. Resisting the opportunity to watch Geoff sleep—and he had looked as delicious with tousled hair and a shadow of beard as she had thought he would—she had slipped out of the bed and into the shower.
By the time Geoff had roused, looking a bit embarrassed that jet lag and a strenuous night had caused him to sleep so heavily, Cecilia had already donned a T-shirt and shorts, pulled her hair into a loose braid and applied judicious touches of makeup. Urging him to take his time in the shower, she had promised to have breakfast ready when he came out.
Hastily dumping coffee into the filter, she turned on the coffeemaker and set out cereal, fruit, milk and yogurt on the kitchen table. Remembering Geoff’s choice of steak and potato for dinner last night, she wouldn’t be surprised if he preferred a bacon-and-eggs breakfast, but this was what she had on hand.
She should probably wait until after they had eaten before broaching the proposition that had hit her with such staggering force. He would need the energy, she thought wryly, when he bolted in panic from the crazy woman he had awakened with this morning. Could she really expect him to react any other way?
But did she have any logical choice but to ask him? How else would she know if it was even within the realm of possibility?
Geoff came into the kitchen then, and her heart tripped—whether from nerves or a surge of raw attraction, she couldn’t have said. Probably both. He looked younger, somehow, with his hair still damp and his white shirt open at the collar and rolled up on his arms. He hadn’t shaved, and the scruffiness only added to that sexy-young-rebel look that was so deceptive for the button-down businessman she suspected him to be.
She swallowed and rubbed her palms on her khaki shorts, suddenly feeling every day of the five years she had on him. Though she didn’t usually have issues with vanity—no more than any other woman, anyway—she found herself hoping those extra years weren’t immediately visible.
Geoff smiled, only adding to his extraordinary appeal. He brushed a light kiss across her mouth. “Looks good.”
“I hope you like fruit and cereal.”
He chuckled as he glanced at the table. “Oh, yeah. The food looks good, too.”
A silly blush warmed her cheeks. Heaven only knew when she had last blushed that way, she thought with a shake of her head. She had to get herself under control. If a simple flirtatious compliment turned her into a giggling schoolgirl, how could she begin to talk to him about certain much more serious—yet undeniably awkward—matters?
“Sit down. I’ll pour the coffee,” she said, turning toward the coffeemaker. And then she stopped and whacked her forehead with the palm of her hand. “Oh, darn. I forgot. You don’t drink coffee.”
He laughed and patted her shoulder on his way to the table. “No. But feel free to have some yourself.”
“I drink too much coffee, anyway. It’s my one vice.” And because that sounded like such a foolish statement after last night, she blushed again.
She tried to hide it by turning her back to him and opening the refrigerator door. “I have juice. Apple or grape. Eric loves fruit juices, so I try to keep plenty on hand.”
Stop babbling, Cecilia. She really did have to get a stronger grip on her emotions this morning.
“Apple juice sounds good. Thanks.”
They finally settled at the table—she with her coffee, he with a glass of apple juice.
“Looks like it’s going to be a nice day,” Geoff remarked, nodding toward the window over the sink. His light tone indicated that he was trying to start a casual conversation. Maybe he sensed that she was tense this morning. If so, he probably attributed it to morning-after jitters, maybe after-the-fact misgivings.
He had no clue, of course, what was really making her so nervous. If he did, he couldn’t have looked so calm.
Trying to put on a show of being completely relaxed, she responded to his comments in kind and toyed with her breakfast, making a pretense of enjoying it. Actually, her throat was so tight she thought she might choke if she tried to eat much.
When he had finished his meal, Geoff pushed his plate aside and laced his hands on the table. “Okay,” he said, leveling a look at her. “What’s wrong? Second thoughts about last night? Regrets?”
“No. As uncharacteristic as it was for me, I don’t regret anything that happened last night.”
His smile turned gentle. “I never doubted that the night was hardly routine for you.”
And now she worried that he was misinterpreting her admission that she wasn’t exactly a party girl. “It isn’t as if I’m making too big a deal out of what happened between us last night,” she assured him hastily. “I mean, I am a thirty-seven-year-old divorcee.”
He reached out to cover her hand with his. “It was a big deal, Cecilia. One of the best nights I’ve had in a very long time.”
She laced her fingers with his. “For me, too.”
“So what’s the problem?”
“I’m sort of afraid of ruining everything now.”
“Not possible.”
“You haven’t heard what I want to ask you yet.”
Though she saw a touch of wariness enter his eyes—poor guy, she couldn’t blame him, considering how awkwardly she was handling this—he managed to keep his expression politely encouraging. “What do you want to ask?”
She drew her hand from his and reached for her coffee cup, relieved to see that it was steady when she lifted it to her lips. After a bracing sip, she began, “I’m thirty-seven years old.”
“Yes, so you said.”
“I was married once. A long time ago. It didn’t work out.”
“You mentioned that, too.” He sipped his juice, eyeing her curiously over the rim of his glass.
She was really making a hash of this. Clearing her throat, she tried again. “The thing is, I’ve never had an overwhelming urge to remarry. I love my home and my work and I would rather be contentedly single than unhappily married.”
“We agree on that point. My family’s been nagging me to marry for years, but to be honest, I simply have no desire to do so at this point. I just don’t want to be responsible for anyone else’s happiness and welfare.” He still looked a bit wary as he clearly spelled out his position.
Realizing the direction his thoughts were taking, she laughed a little and held up her hands. “Relax, Geoff. I’m not asking you to marry me. As pleasant as our night together was, it hasn’t turned me into a starry-eyed romantic with foolish dreams of happily ever after.”
Though he looked marginally relieved, he seemed contradictorily perturbed with her choice of adjectives. “Pleasant?”
“Very pleasant,” she clarified a bit impatiently. She had almost forgotten to make allowances for the male ego during this impromptu proposition.
“So what is this request you have of me?”
She drew a deep breath, then blurted the words before she lost her nerve. “I want you to help me make a baby.”
Chapter Fou
r
Geoff wondered for a moment if an unexpected night of passion had somehow damaged his hearing. Surely Cecilia hadn’t just said what he thought she had said. “You want me to do what?”
He watched as she moistened her lips with the tip of her tongue, a gesture that seemed uncharacteristically nervous from this woman who had appeared so self-confident and composed the night before.
“I want a child,” she repeated. “I want to be a mother. And since my prospects of that are getting slimmer as time passes, I’m ready to do whatever is necessary to make that dream come true for me.”
She locked her slender, capable hands on the table in front of her as she spoke, her gleaming white knuckles giving further evidence of the tension she was trying not to show.
Geoff shook his head. Wasn’t this his luck? He had been telling himself that last night had been a rare gift—unplanned, uncalculated, uncomplicated. A brief foray into the wild side for wild Billy Bingham’s straitlaced and compulsively responsible nephew. And now it turned out that the woman he thought he’d charmed into bed had her own reasons for ending up there.
“You’re looking at me as though I’ve grown another head,” Cecilia said ruefully. “I know this has taken you by surprise.”
“You could say that again.”
Her fingers twisted even more tightly. “The thing is, this subject has been on my mind a lot lately. Every day I deliver other women’s babies, and every day I wonder whether I’ll ever have one of my own. I would be a good mother. I’m mature and responsible and patient. I practically raised Eric, since my mother worked all the time, so I know what I would be getting into. The preschool day-care center at the clinic would give me a chance to see my child often during the day. I’m ready physically, emotionally and financially—as much as I can be, anyway. I don’t want to waste any more time.”
“So have you, um, thought about adoption?” he asked, still trying to assimilate what she wanted of him.
“I’ve considered adoption, but it’s still rather difficult for a single working woman to be approved, and private adoptions can be terribly expensive. Besides, I would really love to have a child of my own. The artificial insemination process is, again, so expensive that it would be hard for me to afford it. The best option for me seems to be the old-fashioned method.”
“With me.” It sounded so improbable when he said it that he couldn’t help wondering again if he had completely misinterpreted her request.
Her cheeks were a bit pink, but she held her head high. “It occurred to me this morning that it wouldn’t hurt to ask you. After all, we got along very well last night, and we’ve already taken the biggest step.”
His frown deepened. “I used protection last night.”
“Yes, I know. Um, do you always carry a couple of packets with you?”
Now it was his turn to be self-conscious. “I got them out of my car. After you invited me in. Just in case we—”
Hell, this conversation wasn’t about defending his motives. “So when you asked me in last night, you were planning to—”
“No!” Her eyes wide, she cut him off sharply. “I didn’t plan anything that happened last night. I thought I would make an appearance at the reception and then come home—alone—for a grilled cheese sandwich and an evening with a mystery novel. When you asked me to dinner, I expected a nice meal and then a polite good-evening in the parking lot. And when I invited you in, it was an impulse, based on the lovely time we’d had at Miranda’s. You said you didn’t want the evening to end—and I didn’t, either.”
He couldn’t help being skeptical, despite the ring of sincerity in her voice. Having been raised in a wealthy and influential family, he had learned long ago that all too many people had hidden motives when it came to their dealings with him.
She began to frown, as if his thoughts had been apparent to her. “I’m really making a mess of this, and I apologize for that. I know it seems outrageous of me to even suggest something like this after knowing you such a short time. As I said, it’s something I’ve been considering, and when this opportunity popped up—well, it just seemed like I would be foolish not to at least ask if you would consider helping me out.”
He stood and walked to the coffeemaker, where he slipped a mug off the nearby holder and filled it to the brim with the dark, hot brew.
“I thought you didn’t like coffee.”
“I seem to need the caffeine jolt. I’m having a little trouble thinking clearly this morning. And, besides, it’s too early for scotch.”
She waited until he had returned to his seat and had taken a bracing sip of the coffee—which wasn’t bad, considering—before she spoke again. “You probably think I have ulterior motives in making this request of you. That’s a natural assumption, of course. I should have expected—anyway, I know a man with your connections has to be careful. I want to assure you that I’ve been entirely straightforward about my goals.
“I want a child, but that’s all. I would be willing to sign anything you draw up waiving any claim to money from you for any reason. I am fully prepared to support my child both financially and emotionally. I can’t say the child will be raised with a lot of extra money, but I can provide all the necessities and an occasional luxury without any help from anyone else. To be honest, I prefer it that way at this stage in my life.”
He set his coffee mug on the table with a thud. “So, basically, what you want is for me to create a baby with you, then simply go away and leave you alone to raise the kid with no input from me.”
She shifted restlessly in her chair. “You make it sound rather cold when you put it that way.”
“You think?” He knew he sounded curt, but what could she expect after blindsiding him this way?
Looking defensive, Cecilia glared across the table at him. “You needn’t make it sound as though I’ve insulted you by asking you to be the father of my child.”
“Maybe I think you have.”
“Just the opposite, I would say. You’re intelligent, attractive, healthy—all qualities I would be pleased for my child to inherit.”
“And yet you think I’m the kind of man who would make a child and then walk away from it without a backward glance.”
“It isn’t as if there aren’t plenty of other illegitimate Binghams living in Merlyn County,” she shot back.
Geoff watched through narrowed eyes as Cecilia’s face paled in response to the echo of her own words, then went bright pink. “None of those children are mine,” he said after letting her squirm for a few long moments.
“I’m sorry,” she said stiffly. Placing both hands flat on the table, she pushed herself to her feet. “This was obviously a huge mistake. Please forget I said anything. And don’t feel obligated to call me again after you leave, not even for courtesy’s sake. Let’s just pretend our date ended before breakfast.”
He rose more slowly, keeping his eyes on her face, which she was doing her best to hide behind a silky curtain of dark hair. “So you’ve changed your mind about trying to have a child?”
“I didn’t say that. I’m just going to have to explore other options.”
Other options being another man to father the baby she apparently wanted so desperately that she’d been willing to risk this embarrassment with him, he realized abruptly. And it said something about his state of mind that thinking of her approaching another man—any other man—with her offer bothered him almost as badly as the fact that she had thought he would go along with her scheme.
“Look, Cecilia, I can tell how important this is to you. Maybe there’s something I can do to help. I mean, you work in a place that specializes in fertility treatments. Sure, artificial insemination can get expensive, especially if it takes a few times to produce results, but I’m sure something can be worked out. Installment payments, maybe. Or a bank loan. In fact, I can—”
“No!” She tossed her hair back to give him a glittering look. “No,” she repeated more quietly. “Thank you. I can handle
this.”
Which meant another man again, he thought with a scowl.
“This is really getting awkward. Please, Geoff, just forget it. Actually, I have a lot of things to do today, and I wouldn’t want to keep you away from the things I’m sure you have to do. Besides, my brother pops in sometimes on weekends to help with a few maintenance chores, and it would be very uncomfortable for me if he were to find you here.”
In other words, here’s your hat.
Hustling him out the door, she babbled nervously the whole time about what a lovely evening she’d had, and how much she had enjoyed getting to know him and maybe they would see each other in passing at the hospital sometime. Unspoken was the addition, “But not if I see you first.”
Moments later Geoff stood on her front stoop staring blankly at the door that had just been firmly closed in his face. It appeared his impromptu date with Cecilia Mendoza had just come to an abrupt, strange and seemingly permanent end.
All in all, it had been one of the more humiliating episodes of Cecilia’s life. No wonder Geoff had looked at her as if she had lost her mind. She must have sounded like an idiot.
She should have expected him to react as he had. Undoubtedly he now thought of her as a desperate, aging woman looking to secure a comfortable retirement by duping a wealthy young man into fathering her child. He probably hadn’t believed her for a moment when she’d said she wanted nothing more from him.
To top it off, she had inadvertently insulted him by comparing him to his notoriously womanizing grandfather and uncle, even though all the talk she had ever heard about the Binghams indicated that Geoff and his father were both complete straight-arrows.
If she were absolutely honest, she would have to admit that she rather admired Geoff for his instinctive reaction to that comparison. She had become so cynical about men that she had automatically assumed it wouldn’t particularly bother him to have no part in an illegitimate child’s life.