But what did getting reacquainted mean? The occasional phone calls while he was in town? Snatched hellos and goodbyes when picking and dropping off Adam? Dinners? Like the ones they used to share at their favorite Vietnamese restaurant, joking and laughing and sharing dreams over Hanoi beef noodle soup, crispy soft-shelled crabs, and fried eel with lemongrass and chili.
She’d give anything to revert to the carefree couple they’d once been but nothing had changed. Apart from Adam, Flynn still belonged to the army in a way he’d never belonged to her, and he’d vanish to some godforsaken end of the earth in a heartbeat.
Sure, she could let him into her life for Adam’s sake but she’d be damned if she let him re-enter her heart, too.
The arrival of their meal gave her some breathing space and as they tried to make small talk, and maintain the appearance of a polite couple enjoying their food, Lori knew keeping the man she’d once loved at arm’s length would be almost as hard as walking away from him all those years ago.
CHAPTER SIX
Lori reapplied her lip-gloss, taking a few calming breaths in the process. She stared at her reflection in the restroom mirror, looking for any obvious signs she’d lost her mind.
What were you thinking?
Rather than playing it cool tonight she’d plowed straight in and put her size eight feet into her mouth along with the paella. Why had she interrogated Flynn about how long he’d be staying around?
For Adam’s sake, of course.
Though she knew deep down that wasn’t entirely true. She was drawn to him, had been on some hyper-awareness since they’d bumped trolleys in the supermarket and it wasn’t waning. Fine for Soldier Boy to talk of getting reacquainted but she had a sneaking suspicion having him back in her life, if only for their son’s sake, could send her into a serious tailspin.
She’d been in love with him once and though six years had passed, the fire hadn’t died. All it needed was a little stirring of the coals, a light blowing on the embers and it would ignite into a raging inferno that could easily burn out of control and scorch her in the process.
It would’ve been easier if he’d hung onto his anger, had continued to blame her for withholding the truth of Adam’s existence. But he’d accepted her rationale and slowly thawed over dinner, to the point where she’d seen glimpses of the guy he’d once been. Funny, cute, endearing.
Not good.
The way she saw it, she had two options. Run scared, like she had last time. Or suck it up for the sake of her son.
So she had residual feelings for Flynn? Nothing she couldn’t handle if it meant Adam finally had a father in his life.
She popped the lip-gloss in her bag and snapped the lock shut. Yeah, she could do this. For Adam.
Flynn was staring out the window when she reached the table, though he quickly stood and pulled out her chair on her return.
“Thanks.” She smiled, the first genuine smile all evening and he stilled.
His hands on the back of the chair briefly touched her bare upper arms, sending a sizzle of unexpected heat licking her skin, and her smile faltered. Making a decision to get reacquainted for Adam’s sake was one thing, maintaining control over her traitorous body another.
“Do you fancy dessert?” He returned to his seat and handed her a menu, a slightly bemused expression on his face. She knew the feeling.
Mentally cursing her inability to play this cool, she shook her head. “No thanks. Couldn’t possibly fit another thing in. We can have coffee at home?”
His lips compressed in an unimpressed line and her heart sank. Home consisted of her and Adam, a place he’d wanted to be. She should be grateful she’d inadvertently sparked his animosity again, for it would put some much-needed distance between them. Instead, she couldn’t help but wish her every word didn’t have the potential to slash a hole in their fragile truce.
“Fine. Let’s go.”
Yep, by his terse response, they were back to square one.
Once he’d taken the care of the bill—Lori wasn’t foolish enough to offer to pay half considering his thunderous expression—they stepped out onto Johnston Street, a hive of bustling café culture and restaurants and Spanish dance clubs.
They had a ten-minute walk back to the car and as they fought their way through a crowd of rowdy teenagers, he placed a hand in the small of her back. The heat from his chivalrous touch penetrated the cotton of her dress and branded her skin like an iron.
“This place has changed a lot.” She gestured toward the street, grasping at any topic to distract from the havoc his touch created.
“For the better thankfully.”
“Does your grandfather still live here?”
She’d never visited his home, hadn’t been invited despite her frequent hints. He’d always clammed up when she’d pushed to meet his grandfather, his only family, and by his surly expression, looked like nothing had changed.
“No. End-stage dementia. He’s in a nursing home.” He hesitated. “Blames me for putting him there, on the rare occasion he’s compos.”
She heard the concern in his voice and guilt stabbed her. Family was important to him, always had been. And she’d robbed him of a major part of his family.
“It’s hard when they can’t see you’re doing stuff for their own good.”
His eyes narrowed, watching her, assessing, as she realized her words could’ve applied to their situation: she’d kept Adam from him for her son’s good, for Flynn’s good too in not making him choose between the career he loved and a kid he didn’t ask for.
However, he didn’t call her on it and she exhaled, unaware she’d been holding her breath.
“He’s a stubborn old coot but now I’m back for a while maybe he’ll ease up.”
For a while... What did she expect, for the nomad soldier to resign his commission and stick around just because he had a son?
She cleared her throat, hating how every little thing he said had the power to affect her so deeply. “He has to live there, for his own good.”
“I know.” He paused, fixing her with a pointed glare. “Family is everything to me.”
She understood the implication behind his words and didn’t know whether to be heartened by how quickly he’d taken to Adam or scared by what the prospect of family might entail. Was he talking about the time he’d be in Richmond or did he envisage longer?
Not willing to jeopardize the tenuous bond that seemed to be growing between them since she’d decided to meet his challenge of getting reacquainted head on, she slipped her hand into his.
“Let’s take a walk.”
His hand convulsed for a second, surprise quirking his brows, before his fingers curled around hers, solid, comforting, fitting exactly as they used to.
She savored the feel of his hand holding hers securely as they strolled past restaurants where patrons spilled onto the pavements, past crowded roadside tables, liked how he guided her through the throng. She hadn’t been here in years, was busy people watching and checking out the interesting cafés, unaware they’d traversed the length of the street until they stopped in front of the high school.
“Now this place hasn’t changed at all,” she said, staring at the sprawling red brick building.
A host of memories assailed her: arriving for the first inter-school debate, getting off the bus and holding her head high as she ignored the wolf-whistles of the local boys, laying eyes on Flynn for the first time...
He’d sat at the opposing team’s table on the auditorium stage looking supremely confident, those gray eyes pinning her with their intensity, as if sizing her up. She’d been smitten ever since.
“Rumor has it the education department wants to close it down and move all the kids to Richmond High.”
His cynicism didn’t surprise her. He’d been fiercely proud of his school and its humble beginnings in comparison to its larger, more prestigious competitor in the neighboring suburb a stone’s throw away.
Rather than answering,
she tugged on his hand. “Want to see if it’s still here?”
“What?”
He looked down at her, a speculative gleam in his eyes and she had a feeling he knew exactly what she was talking about.
She grinned. “Come on. Let’s check it out.”
They skirted the grounds until they reached the back corner of the schoolyard where a towering gum stood like a lone sentinel guarding its post. She released his hand and knelt, remembering to carefully hold her skirt up at the last minute. She’d squandered way too much on this dress and though it had been her first extravagant purchase in years, she had no intention of ruining it.
“It’s still here.” She tried to quash her irrational excitement and failed, beckoning him to join her on the ground.
“I don’t know how you can see in this light,” he muttered, squatting next to her.
She traced the initials that had been carved into the tree almost eleven years earlier, LB 4 FL, and the heart that surrounded them.
“Do you remember the day you did this?”
He nodded, his eyes glinting silver in the moonlight. “I also remember doing this afterward.”
Lori registered his meaning a split second before Flynn leaned toward her, captured her face in his hands and kissed her.
This kiss was nothing like the first tentative joining of lips that had occurred beneath the tree more than a decade ago.
Oh no, this kiss was an open-mouthed expression of hunger between two people starving for each other.
Simmering need exploded as his tongue swept into her mouth, taunting her to match him. She did, eager to savor the thrill of tasting this man all over again despite the foolishness.
She made a throaty sound as he angled his head, deepening the kiss to the point where she was ready to roll in the scattered bark around the tree’s base, without thought, without reason.
Her palms pressed against his chest, appreciating the sculpted muscle as she slid her hands around to his back. He’d never felt like this as a teen and she was annoyingly grateful to the job that would tear them apart in the end.
He broke the kiss, bestowing a trail of tiny kisses from her mouth to her ear where he gently suckled her lobe, sending shards of sensation rocketing through her. She tilted her head back, allowing him easier access and he responded by nibbling his way down her neck to the hollow between the collarbones.
“Flynn,” she moaned, as his tongue flickered along her skin while his hands pulled her flush against him. “What the hell are we doing?”
He stilled and eased away, leaving her breathless, hankering for more and regretting an impulsive kiss for old times sake that could only add to their complications.
“We’re going at it like a couple of teenagers,” he said, standing and brushing down before extending a hand to her.
“Like we used to?” She stumbled as he helped her to her feet and fell against him, his arms sliding around her waist to steady her feeling way too comfortable.
“Yeah.” He shook his head, his smile wry. “Let’s chalk that up to a stroll down memory lane.”
“Let’s,” she said, knowing it was a cop out but not wanting to analyze that kiss or push for answers explaining the rationale behind it, not after the tension-fraught evening they’d already had.
“Time to get you home.” He glanced at his watch. “What would our son say if I kept you out too late?”
“He’d probably give you the bedtime curfew lecture I usually give him.”
“I’d love to hear it.” He caressed her cheek, the tenderness in his eyes reaching all the way down to her heart and tweaking hard, as he dropped a quick peck on her lips before she could protest. “Let’s go.”
CHAPTER SEVEN
Flynn’s fists thudded into the punching bag, the repetitive motion soothing. He’d worked out at this rundown gym in Collingwood’s back streets as a kid, venting his frustrations over Pop’s moods by sweating it out rather than taking it out on anyone else.
Exercise had always been cathartic, had helped ground him and after last night, he’d hightailed it down here first thing.
His battle plan had been scuttled.
His body craved Lori even if his head insisted he take another commission and bolt back to some godforsaken hellhole.
Over dinner, he’d been determined to get answers, to stay aloof. Instead, the moment he’d heard her reasoning, some of his latent anger waned.
He understood.
Lori loved Adam that much; she hadn’t wanted to put their son through what she’d had to live with.
He’d seen it over the years, army brats being dragged from one war-torn country to another, never forming real friendships. Loners, always being the odd one out at their new schools. He’d never want that for his son.
And while he understood her fears of him not returning from the front, he’d had a right to know his son. He would’ve protected Adam from the harsh truths of his job, could’ve been there for him as much as possible.
The way he saw it, he had two choices.
Hold onto bitter resentment and sabotage a potential cordial relationship with Lori or let it go for Adam’s sake and make up for lost time with the son he’d never known.
A memory of that searing kiss flashed across his mind and he punched the bag, a quick right-left combo. Jabbing at it how he’d like to attack his common sense—or lack of it.
First time he’d kissed her at the supermarket had been about proving a point but last night had been all about memories and bonding and passion. Passion, dormant yet blazing, too easily reawakened.
Sure, he wanted to have a relationship with Lori, but not that kind of relationship. Yet when he’d dropped her off, had seen her tuck the blankets around Adam and kiss him gently on the forehead, the yearning to be part of the bedtime ritual had slammed into him with the force of an out of control tank.
Hanging onto his anger was futile in the face of what he could have if he let it go.
A family. The type of family he’d always wanted.
Close. Affectionate. Normal.
Ripping off his gloves, he picked up his water bottle and took a slug. Jumping into a relationship with Lori wasn’t high on his list of priorities. He wanted to get the training school up and running, get to know his son and give them all time to adjust to the new situation before maybe exploring the spark still sizzling between them.
She’d been thrust into the role of single parenthood and he’d been partly to blame. He hadn’t known about Adam but if he’d really loved her like he’d said back then he would have at least come back one more time to see her rather than relying on phone calls and emails she ignored.
Yep, animosity toward Lori wasn’t worth it.
Maybe he’d be smarter trying to build the family he never had?
* * *
“Thanks for the pizza, Dad.” Adam rubbed his stomach, sending Flynn a wide, greasy grin before taking a healthy slurp from his soda can. “That was yummy.”
“No worries.” Flynn returned his son’s grin, wondering when he’d last enjoyed a pizza so much and trying to ignore the acid burn in his chest that had nothing to do with indigestion and everything to do with the fact he’d missed out on so many great dinners like this one.
“And a rare treat.” Lori sent him a pointed glare, a silent warning not to make a habit of bringing around takeout, though he sensed she’d liked their casual dinner in her backyard as much as he had.
“Mom’s pretty keen on eating meat and veggies,” Adam said, eyeing the last remaining pizza wedge with longing. “We don’t eat good stuff like pizza or hamburgers very often.”
Lori’s mouth twitched with barely concealed amusement as she pushed the box toward Adam. “No, we don’t, because good stuff like that isn’t as great as broccoli and carrots and lamb chops.”
Adam mouthed “yuck” at Flynn and he laughed, enchanted with the byplay between mother and son. Lori was a natural at this parenting stuff and he hoped he’d be half as good
.
“Here you go.” Lori scooped the last piece of pizza onto Adam’s plate. “Enjoy your treat, particularly when you rarely complain about all that great stuff I usually feed you.”
“Thanks, Mom. You’re the best.”
Flynn silently agreed as their eyes met and held while Adam demolished the pizza wedge in record time.
Flynn wanted to look away, to gain some control over his expression, which must’ve read somewhere between goofy and smitten, but the sparks he glimpsed in her luminous eyes held him mesmerized.
Adam crushed his empty soda can. “May I be excused now?”
Lori blinked and Flynn sighed in relief, caught up in something he knew was bigger than the both of them. They’d always shared a special connection but now, with Adam completing their circle, every emotion intensified.
“Sure thing, sweetheart.” Lori brushed Adam’s cheek with a fingertip. “Do you have any homework to finish?”
Adam rolled his eyes, his exasperated expression so like his mother’s Flynn had to bite the inside of his cheek to stop from laughing out loud.
“I finished it all before dinner so is it okay if I read a bit before bed?”
Lori smiled. “Go ahead.”
“Later alligators.” Adam waved as he bounded up the back steps and into the house, leaving Flynn with a silly grin on his face.
“He’s some kid.”
Lori nodded and reached for her soda. “Sure is.”
Flynn wanted to say more. In fact, he wanted to ask a millions questions, like when had Adam taken his first step, when he’d uttered his first word, what was his favorite subject at school and did he like cars and trucks over dinosaurs and pirates.
However, he didn’t want to break the contented silence that had descended upon them, the balmy evening air wrapping them in an intimate cocoon that felt safe and comfortable and free of conflict.
“We should talk about that kiss,” Lori said, soft and uncertain.
Just like that, the illusion of peace shattered.
Second Chance Guy Page 5