by Lacy LeRoch
“Oh… oh dear God. Philli, don’t stop doing that.” I can’t say still and I begin rocking my pelvis down to meet his mouth, but I just need a little more. Philli lets go of my jaw, reaching around to my ass and slaps me hard.
“Stay still, my sweet… sweet, Madison.” He winks.
I’m having a hard time being in this position, as hot as it is, I can’t take much more of this. He must be able to feel, or maybe even sense, the struggle I’m having. Because before I can react and tell him I can’t take much more, he flips me over onto my back and gets back to work on my pussy. Oh, this is sooo much better. I reach down and grab a handful of his spiky brown hair, and pull it hard as I shamelessly start thrusting my hips against his waiting mouth.
“Oh fuck this, I can’t wait any longer,” Philli cries out.
He rises and places himself between my legs. His green eyes sparkle as he enters me with one long powerful stroke. I arch my back and scream. It takes me a minute to breathe through the searing pain of him stretching me so wide. I’m not a virgin, but I’ve never been with a man the size of Philli before. The pleasure and pain is almost too much for me to take, and he must have felt me tightening as he lowers his head and gently kisses my lips.
“Are you okay, ma petite?” his voice is nothing but a whisper.
His eyes flash to slits again, and a feeling of warmth follows over my body. I feel his fingers start to caress and massage the stiffness from my body as I relax into Philli’s touch.
“I’m okay, Philli, please don’t stop,” I breathe out.
Lifting my hips slightly to encourage him to move with me, I give myself away by wincing in pain at the small movement. Philli shakes his head sadly and starts to pull out of me.
“No, ma petite. I will not cause you pain.”
I feel emptiness enter my heart and soul as he pulls away from me, and I don’t like it. I won’t let him leave me, so I lower my hands down his back to hold onto his ass. I keep him in place, so he can’t move. He doesn’t move or say anything, so I squeeze his cheeks in my hands and stare at him, making sure that our eyes meet and he can see the truth behind my words.
“Philli, please, I’m begging of you. I’m fine. Do not deny me this. It’s just been a while, that’s all.” I’m not one to beg for anything, but I need this man. I need him more than the air in my lungs. That should scare me but it doesn’t. For the hundredth time tonight, I feel more connected to Philli than I have with anyone else in my whole life. I find myself being drawn to him like a moth to a flame.
“My dear, Madison. I don’t know what it is, but every time my name comes from your tongue, I feel like I could not deny you a thing,” he murmurs as if being able to read my mind. Staring down at my lips, I know he wants to kiss me, the fire and heat that stares back at me from his gaze, sends a blast of unadulterated desire rushing through me. I run my tongue over my lips and lift my hips up and down slowly.
Allowing me to take the lead, I rock up and down on him, pulling him closer to me. His brow breaks out in a sweat, his jaw bulges with the effort of holding out.
“Philli, move, it’s okay,” I pant breathlessly.
I try to encourage him to move along with me as I use my hold on his butt to push him in and out of me. Philli grunts and pants, but stays still over the top of me. He licks his lips and my attention is drawn to them. I lean forward and give my lips to him. We kiss soft and tenderly like lovers do. There’s no rushing, no fighting for dominance. This is two people completely lost to passion and desire.
I break the kiss and whisper along the base of his throat, “Give yourself completely to me. I need you.”
He starts to move without the aid of my hands, then he leans forward and crashes his mouth to mine. Gone is the sweet, tantalizing kiss of lovers, now he kisses me with abandonment—rough, controlled and dominating. His tongue thrusts wildly in and out of my mouth, as his hips surge and pound forward. There’s nothing gentle about the way he’s fucking me right now.
“Philli,” I call out as my orgasm starts to build. My legs start to stiffen and my stomach starts to clinch low. My walls clench over his cock painfully tight. I’m floating over the cliff ready to fall. My body is wound up so tightly, that I just want to explode.
“Now, Madison. Now!” he commands, his voice so low I hardly recognize it.
My orgasm comes on so fast and violent that my vision blurs and I start to see stars. I hit my peak and scream his name out into the night, as he slows the rocking of his hips to allow me to ride it out. I’m spent and panting, my arms and legs become limp and hard to lift. Philli bites the side of my neck and I’m ready all over again. I bring my hands up to his shoulders and wrap my legs around his waist.
Philli smirks against my neck. “That’s my girl. Hold on, it’s going to get rough.”
He thrusts hard and deep holding onto my thighs so hard that I swear I’m going to be covered in bruises and marks, but I don’t care. I want him, I want this. God… how I want this. Sweat drips down his face as he crashes into me, over and over. My hold on his shoulders starts to slip with the slickness of his body.
“Fuck, Maddie, I’m so close. You’re so tight, I can’t hold out much longer.” He rocks forward gritting his teeth and then he stills. He groans low and deep, as burst after burst of hot seed flows into me. He grunts my name and kisses the side of my neck, and this sets off another earth shattering orgasm. My nails rake down his back as I hold on and hope that he catches me as I fall. I feel out of body as I turn my head into the crook of his neck and bite down. I nip at his flesh that hard that my teeth break his skin, as I moan in absolute ecstasy as his smooth velvet blood, flows into my mouth and down my throat.
I let go of Philli feeling more satisfied than I have been in years, and flop back onto the bed. The night’s events start to catch up with me as I close my eyes and roll over onto my side. I’m exhausted and need sleep. The mattress dips as Philli shuffles over to the edge. I know I should say something to him, but I can’t find the energy. Giving up, I moan and cuddle up deep into my pillows.
“Until we meet again, my sweet Maddie.”
God, I hate it when people call me Maddie. I reach over blindly and grab a pillow, throwing it in the direction where I think I heard his voice coming from.
“Hey, Philli?” I call out.
“Yeah, ma petite?” he chuckles.
The tiredness is overwhelming me, and I sigh at the effort that it’s taking me to speak. “Next time you come to my dreams, don’t call me, Maddie. I don’t like it. You may be hot and fuck like a god, but I won’t take a dream man calling me that either.”
“Note taken, my beautiful girl, note taken,” his voice lowers confused. “Now… how the fuck do I get back home?”
What the hell? Why would he need to know how to get home, if this is all a dream?
Chapter Six
Ahh, I’m exhausted and dead on my feet. I can’t remember much from last night and that’s bugging the hell out of me. You know the feeling when you’re happy and you have no idea why? That's what I feel like today. I woke up feeling on cloud nine and ready to take on the world. But when I got a call in, that all died. Walking over to the nurse’s station annoyed, I don’t want to be here. This isn’t the first time I’ve woken from a deep sleep only to wake up twice as bad the next day. Over the last couple of months, they have been getting worse. I’ve had to hide just how tired and run down I am at work. I don’t like to admit it, but it really is knocking me off my feet.
“You all right there, Doctor Green?”
Oh fantastic, just what I needed. Like I need this asshole to notice me like this. Somehow during my sleep, I managed to scratch, bruise and bite myself. Not one of my finer moments, but there isn’t anything I can do about it now. I pull my white lab coat tight around my body. God, I hope he doesn’t notice the marks, and take a minute to compose myself before I turn around and face the next problem on my list for the day.
I plaster a fake smile on my f
ace and reply, “I’m fine, thank you very much for your concern, Doctor Callow.”
I turn my back and start walking away from the asshole that is Lucas Callow. But like always, the ass decided that he needed to turn around and follow me, like the lost puppy that he is.
Great, my day just keeps getting better.
The nurse’s desk comes into view and I walk over to collect my new lot of charts. I’m trying my best to ignore Lucas as I start checking the files to see who I need to see on my rounds. I almost curse aloud when I notice one of the patient’s names. I close my eyes and count to ten slowly before turning and making my way to my next patient. This one is going to test all of my nerves today, so I need to remain calm and collected when I go see her.
“You know. We could get this done so much quicker if you just let me help you on your rounds,” Lucas chuckles.
He nods at a couple of pretty nurses walking down the corridor toward us. As they pass him, the sleaze turns around, tilts his head, and watches them sway their ass and strut down the hallway. They know perfectly well that he’s watching them. One of the nurse’s glances over her shoulder and chuckles with a flirtatious wave. Lucas winks and brings his hand up to his ear making the ‘call me’ signal with his fingers. I must remember to warn the nurse later not to trust him, but right now that’s not my concern.
My voice is thick with sarcasm as I tell him, “And this right here is an excellent example of why, I will never want your help ever again, Lucas. Have a great night, Doctor.”
I feel proud of myself as I curtsy and walk into the room to check my next patient.
“Oh come on, Madison, you love it, you know you do.”
My eyes roll back into my head and I groan aloud. Why can’t he ever just let it be? I’m angry as I turn around and poke my finger into his chest hard.
I glance up into his almost black eyes and scold him, “I will admit, I used to love this, Lucas. Once, a very long time ago, and because of what we did...” my chest constricts tightly and I shake my head to clear the dark memories that start to rise as I sigh and continue, “…I will never again let you in.”
With that, I turn and walk away needing to get away from him. Every time I see him, I promise myself that I won’t let him see my hurt or anger. Lucas has a way of making me say things that I hold deep down. My head drops in defeat, I really need to get a hold of myself.
My gaze falls on the charts in my hand. Right, I need to get this done so I can get home. I steel myself for the next hurdle of the day. Seriously, why the hell did I even get out of bed this morning? I should have just let the call go to message bank. But nooo, Madison Green doesn’t say no to work.
I walk down the corridor to room three. I don’t bother to knock on the door as I stride inside. There’s no point me knocking and trying to announce my presence, she’d leave me standing all day and night out there, waiting for her approval to enter. I walk in and automatically start to scan the room for my patient. I find Alison Harper, lying in the bed, on her side, and staring vacantly out the window.
“Good evening, Mrs. Harper, how are you this evening?”
Alison doesn’t answer. I don’t even know if she’s even aware of my presence. Her eyes are vacant and void of life as she continues to stare outside. If I hadn’t seen the rise and fall of her chest, I might have been concerned that she had passed.
Fuck, call me heartless, but I just can’t deal with this shit right now.
“Mrs. Harper?” I push, walking over and standing in front of her, effectively blocking her view of the forest behind the hospital.
“You need to talk to me, Mrs. Harper. As your doctor, I need to know where your state of mind is at.”
“You don’t have children, do you Doctor Green?” she sneers.
Her question completely catching me off guard. Alison and I have been lucky to have shared four words between us. Anger starts to rise to the surface at her assumption. I close my eyes and count to ten, praying for the calm that I need. I need to be professional, so saying what is on my mind right now isn’t the right thing to do. I’m likely to rip her a new asshole and say a lot of things that I won’t be able to take back. The truth starts to bubble in my subconscious, pushing up to the surface. What the fuck? No, I will not go there right now. My mind starts to think about bright green eyes and my mind calms. I take a deep breath and try to find an answer that won’t agitate her even more.
“No, I do not, Mrs. Harper,” I mumble, my voice shaking with pent up emotion.
“For fuck’s sake, call me Alison. That’s the biggest assumption of all, you all think I’m married.” Her angelic face twists in agitation and anger. Alison squints her eyes and glowers at me. I have to smother the smile that threatens to break out across my face, by biting the inside of my mouth.
God, I know it sounds bad, but I’m relieved she’s actually speaking to me. Not giving me the usual grunt, huff, or groan.
“You come in here every day, spouting your fairytale bullshit nonsense, telling me what I need to do. But not once have you ever asked what it is that I want? How fucking hard is it for someone to ask me what I want? What I need?” Fat angry tears fall freely down the young woman’s face. Even crying, she’s a beauty to behold.
I stand there watching the tears fall, and a part of me feels like my heart is breaking. My shoulders slump as I walk over to the wall behind me, pick up the box of tissues off the shelf and walk back over to Alison. She’s still curled up in a fetal position and crying her eyes out.
“Here,” I tell her dropping the tissues on the bed.
I see myself in Alison in more ways than one. I think that has always been what has scared me the most about having her as my patient. She’s a beautiful young woman, with spiky blonde hair, green eyes, and the lightest sprinkling of freckles on her face. She would be what I would call a classic beauty. She doesn’t need to wear makeup or even have her hair brushed to be perfection.
“Alison, may I sit please?” I ask, keeping my voice as low and gentle as I can.
I’m not used to being sweet and kind. This is hard for me. I’m the doctor the patients fear they may get stuck with. I’m the first to yell and scowl when they don’t listen. From the start, I have always been a little softer with Alison. In a way, I suppose you could say that I’ve babied her.
“Please,” she concedes, hiccupping and pointing to the edge of the bed.
I feel uncomfortable with being too close, so I walk over to the corner of the room and take the chair, dragging it back over to the edge of her bed.
“I will sit here, but thank you.”
Something suddenly feels different in the room and I can’t put my finger on it. I stare at her for a long time, looking deep into her green eyes. I lose my train of thought as I take a close look at her. I feel like I know her somehow, but from where has completely skipped my mind. I try to look away, but something keeps me looking at her. I feel weird, perverted in some way. It’s not right for me to be staring at her this long. The strange feeling that overcame me just minutes ago lifts, and I glance down at the ground as soon as I’m able. But I still have that niggling feeling that burns in the back of my mind.
“Alison, have we met before?” I blurt out without thinking.
Shit, don’t break your own rules, Madison.
Alison looks over at me for a long time before she shakes her head slowly and answers, “I was thinking the same thing, but no, I don’t think I do know you.”
Hmm… I’m usually really good with faces and I swear I’ve seen hers before. I shake my own head in displeasure and get back to the matter at hand.
“Alison, if you’ll allow me. I would like to speak to you honestly, and to have everything completely out in the open.”
Alison looks at me and takes a deep breath, before rubbing her belly and nodding.
“The truth of the matter is, I can never begin to understand what you are going through. And while you’re only five months along in your pregnancy, these
are forms that need to be either filled out now or ripped up and completely forgotten about.”
Alison looks down at my hands, noticing the folder for the first time. Her face pales and she swallows loudly. “Are… are they the adoption forms?” She swallows again, not once taking her eyes off the manila folder.
“Yes, they are.”
I’m not sure what I’m going to do if she breaks down and starts crying, I’ve never been any good with helping anyone with the emotional stuff. There’s a reason I’ve been called cold-hearted and an ice queen by those in the hospital.
“Is there anyone I can call for you?” I ask quickly, swallowing past the sudden lump in my own throat.
Alison stares vacantly off into space and shakes her head from side to side.
“Not even the father?” I push softly.
I’m walking on a thin line of not only ethical but my own morals. There isn’t anything in her file about next of kin and no mention of the father of the baby.
“No, the father isn’t someone I can soon contact.” She sighs, wringing her hands together on her lap nervously.
Does she think that I will judge her? God, I’m heartless, but I would never do that. An emotion close to guilt and shame flashes across her face, before she shuts it down fast and masks it with a blank look of nothingness.
“I understand,” I tell her thickly.
Fuck get a grip Madison, this girl’s a patient. Don’t get close...
Shit, but no matter how many times I find that going over and over in my mind, I can’t turn off my emotions when I’m around her.
“Listen…” I sigh and glance down at my own lap. I can’t look at her right now or she’ll read my emotions as clear as day. “I cannot help you with any of this, but please know you’re not the only woman who has had to face this decision alone. I, myself, was given up for adoption at birth.”