by Trish D.
Initially, I felt as though l had an advantage over most of the incoming freshman since I had spent so much time on campus with Shanna. I knew how to get around campus and around town fairly well. I watched so many people cry when their parents left and felt so lucky to not feel sad or afraid. It wasn’t until they actually left that it hit me that I was there alone. I had felt so sure I was ready, but when they left, I was quickly reminded that I didn’t know a single person. I sat outside for a while, people watching, trying to pin point potential friends. When the August sun was too much to bear, I went back to my room, but purposely left my door open just in case some overfriendly individual wanted to come in and introduce themselves. I sat at my desk pretending to be on my computer watching people as they walked by. There were some, who would look in my room out of curiosity and give a friendly smile, but no one stopped in and I was too shy to get up and introduce myself. After 30 minutes, I had enough of people peering in my room being nosey and closed the door. I decided to lay down thinking I could sleep away feeling lonely and missing my family. I fought back tears thinking that maybe I wasn’t as ready as I thought I was. Everything I learned in group to deal with my feelings was a blur. Lying there, I realized how exhausted I was from the long drive and moving in the sun. I just needed to rest.
I jumped up out of my sleep when I heard keys jiggling in the lock. I had no idea how long I had been out but I woke up feeling groggy. My roommate walked in and looked at me with wide eyes. I could only imagine how I looked and honestly felt a little embarrassed about how we were meeting for the first time.
“Oh hi, I didn’t realize you were in here. I’m Amanda. “She seemed a little nervous or caught off guard.
“Yeah, I’ve been here a while. I didn’t realize how tired I was until I laid down. I’m Cheryl by the way.” I introduced myself all while trying to fix my hair with my hands and rub the wrinkles that were now all over my shirt.
“I understand. I came in town yesterday and got all moved in. My parents are staying at a hotel nearby so I spent the night there. I hope you don’t mind me claiming the bottom bunk. I’ve always had a fear of falling off the top bunk.”
I had to laugh at the last comment. “Hopefully that doesn’t happen to me.”
“I’m sure it won’t”, she said with a smile. “It’s just my crazy way of thinking.”
By this time I was down from my bed, but I really didn’t know what to do with myself. I just felt awkward talking to her from the top bunk. She didn’t seem to notice though. She was too busy unpacking things.
“We have a hall meeting at in about 10 minutes, and then I was going to go get some dinner if you wanted to come.”
“Sure, let me go get myself together then.”
It wasn’t until then that I realized that I had been asleep for about three hours. I grabbed my brush and toothbrush and made my way to the bathroom. When I looked at myself in the mirror, I couldn’t hold in my laughter. I looked an absolute mess with sleep lines all over my face and hair all over my head. What a wonderful first impression I made. I did the best I could with myself and when I walked out the bathroom, mostly everyone had gathered for the meeting. I wished I had changed my wrinkled shirt before leaving the room. Oh well I thought as I took a seat beside Amanda in front of our room door. We all went around and introduced ourselves and sat there trying to soak in all the information being thrown at us. When the meeting was over, I was finally able to change my shirt. Amanda waited outside for me taking up conversation with a girl who she had learned was also from Richmond. By the time I came back out the room, she had recruited two other girls to come eat with us. The girl from Richmond was Dina and her roommate was April. Amanda and Dina were just chatting away like they had known each other for their whole lives. April seemed reserved like me. To break the awkward silence, I started a conversation with her.
“So you’re from Raleigh?” I remembered this from her introductions and hoped it was a way to spark some sort of conversation.
“Yeah, it’s about two and a half hours from here, so not a bad drive at all.”
“I wish my drive here was that short. It takes about double for me to get here.”
“You said you’re from Charlotte right? I’ve been there a few times to visit family. I really like it there.”
“Well it is the best city in the state.”
We both had to laugh at that statement. April seemed pretty cool. We ended up going to Chili’s and when we saw all the cars in the parking lot with UNCW stickers, we realized that most of the school had the same idea. It was beyond crowded inside and while most of us wanted to find a different place to eat, Dina figured it would be a good way to meet other people from the school. While waiting inside, Amanda struck up a conversation with two other girls who were sophomores. They invited us to sit with them and when we finally got a booth to seat all six of us, the two girls were actually really friendly. Dina was right; it turned out to be a good way to meet other people. Midway through our meal, we were randomly joined by two guys who squeezed their way into the booth with us. They were loud and obnoxious, so I tuned them out, continuing to chat with April. I noticed out the corner of my eye that one of the guys was staring at me. He wasn’t even trying to be discreet, which really annoyed me. Why was he staring at me like that? When I got tired of looking everywhere but back at him, I stared back and we sat there in an awkward staring contest until he finally looked away with a smirk. I was relieved when we finally got up to leave. I didn’t even want to look in his direction as we were leaving. It wasn’t until I got in the car that I finally looked back and our eyes met immediately. I jerked back around hoping that I was fast enough that he didn’t notice me looking at him, but deep down I knew he did.
College life started off well for me. I adjusted to my school schedule well, even the 8am classes that I had each day. I couldn’t understand why I scheduled myself for early classes every day, but still managed to get up and go. It was a lot different from what I expected. I thought my visits to Shanna had prepared me, but it wasn’t until I actually got there and began to experience it that I realized how much freedom I actually had. There were constant house parties in addition to things going on at clubs pretty much each night of the week. House parties still weren’t my thing, but I went occasionally with Amanda and April. The first few times I felt awkward and slightly uncomfortable. Soon though, it hit me that I was having fun and there was nothing wrong with that. Daddy called me daily, saying that he wanted to make sure I was adjusting well. I knew he really wanted to make sure I wasn’t partying more than I was studying. Shanna called almost every day and was sure to stress to me daily on the importance of finding balance. I appreciated their concern, but some days I wanted to dodge their phone calls. I wasn’t a kid. I could handle it.
It was several weeks before I saw “him” again. I hadn’t given him much thought since that night at Chili’s, mainly because I was busy getting adjusted to my class schedule and partly because I figured he was just being annoying. On Wednesdays both April and I got out of class at 12pm for the day and would meet up at Wagoner dining hall for lunch. Usually we would arrive at the same time, but on that day she was late so I decided to sit on a bench outside and wait. I must have been deep in thought about something because I never heard him walk up behind me. I noticed someone sitting down at the other end of the bench and when I looked, there he was. He was dressed sloppy in a t-shirt with the sleeves ripped off, basketball shorts, and socks with Nike flip-flops. It was like he just rolled out of bed and came to eat. Gross! He didn’t say a word he when sat. He pretended to be reading the school newsletter that was available in the lobby of the dining hall. It was evident that he was still up to childish antics. Not wanting to feed into his behavior, I looked away sighing. I thought it was subtle, but apparently it was loud enough to get his attention.
“Oh, I’m sorry! Was this seat being saved for someone?”
Determined to play it cool, I didn’t even look ov
er at him to respond. “Nope, just waiting on my friend to go eat.”
“I don’t think she’s going to make it, you can join me if you want?”
“She’s coming.” I said finally making eye contact with him. I hoped it was a way to tell him to go away. It didn’t work.
“Well, I have some free time, I’ll wait with you.”
“No, that’s not necessary, I’m fine.”
“Sure it is. You never know who can just walk up behind you without you even knowing it.”
I chuckled before I could catch myself and that was the fuel he needed to keep going.
“I’m Eric, by the way.”
“Cheryl.” I hoped my nervousness wasn’t visible to him. Out of all of the girls on campus, why did he pick me to annoy? And where was April? She was way late by this point and I needed her to rescue me.
“So, where are you fro-” He was mid-sentence when April finally showed up.
“Hey.” She said with a confused look on her face, looking back and forth at Eric and me. “Sorry I’m late. I had to talk to my professor.”
“It’s cool.” Eric quickly replied. “I was just keeping Cheryl company while she waited on you.”
April looked at me for confirmation and all I could do was give a slight smirk. There was a brief silence between us all and I felt like the pressure was on me to say something. “Well thanks for keeping me company”, I said to Eric as I stood up and put my book bag on.
“Anytime Cheryl, anytime.”
Finally, the pressure was off and April and I were off to eat lunch. I was relieved to get away from that bench and him. “I’ve never been so glad to see you! Of all days for you to be late.”
April just laughed. “Well it looks like it worked out to your advantage. Did you two exchange numbers?”
“What? No, we didn’t exchange numbers.”
April seemed pretty shocked by this. “Why not? It wouldn’t hurt to talk to him on the phone and possibly go out on a date. This is what the college experience is about.”
I had never thought of it like that. I didn’t know how to date anyone since Derrick. I wasn’t sure that I even wanted to try. “There really wasn’t time. We didn’t talk for that long.”
April seemed satisfied with my answer and left it alone. I was glad. I hadn’t told her about Derrick yet, so I knew she didn’t understand my hesitation about dating. Still, I didn’t want to feel pressure about going out with him. We ate our lunch talking about everything except Eric. I didn’t want to look around the dining hall and accidently meet eyes with him. So I did my best to look straight ahead and down at my plate. It seemed pretty silly that I was letting him have that much control over me, but what was I supposed to do? I started to think that maybe April was right. It wasn’t a bad idea to have a male friend to talk to and hang out with. Based on the few minutes I was around him, he didn’t seem that bad. Maybe he was a nice guy. I missed my opportunity though. Oh well, I thought with a sigh. If it’s meant to be, I figured we would cross paths again.
Originally, when I thought about us crossing paths, I imagined that I would be minding my business walking to class or looking for something in the library and boom, he would pop up. After a week, I got impatient waiting and started trying to put myself in places that I thought he might show up. I took different routes to my classes each day, spent extended time in the dining hall, and even went to the gym. They were all dead ends and I felt like such an idiot for going to such measures to see a guy I spent less than five minutes talking to. It was a Friday afternoon when I finally went back to my normal routine and stopped trying to accidently run into Eric. After classes and lunch, I decided to head back to my room for a nap. We had gone out the night before and I was pretty tired from having to get up for an 8am class. I was deep in sleep when the phone rang causing me to jump up. Feeling annoyed, I let it ring not wanting to climb down from the bunk and answer it. The caller called back three more times when I didn’t answer the first time and I was fuming that I had to get up. What was so important and why couldn’t they just leave a voicemail message? By the time I got down, the phone was ringing again. I snatched it off the base hoping that somehow the caller on the other end would hear it and feel my anger.
“Hello!” I grumbled into the phone. I stood there annoyed with my eyes still half closed. There was silence before I heard giggling, which made me even more annoyed. I was prepared to hang up until I heard a voice that made my stomach drop.
“Uhhh, hey Cheryl. It’s uhh, it’s Eric. I’m guess I caught you at a bad time.”
“Eric?” I was so confused. Was I dreaming? I knew I didn’t give him my phone number. So how was he on my phone?
“Yeah Eric. You know the guy that sat with you last week and kept you safe.”
“Right. I guess I’m a little confused as to how you are on my phone right now. I didn’t get a chance to give you my number.”
“You sure didn’t get a chance. You ran away so fast when April showed up that I saw smoke coming from your shoes.”
We both laughed. “I saw her earlier today.” He continued. “I had to chase her down and convince her that I wasn’t a serial killer so she would give me your number. Here I was thinking I was your only bodyguard.”
I laughed again. “She’s just being a friend. Making sure you’re good people.”
“Yeah I get it. No need to explain. But you know I was kinda hoping you would let me take you to dinner. I understand though, if you’re scared.”
“Oh please! I’m not scared!”
“Great! I’ll pick you up at 7. Galloway hall right?”
“Yeah Galloway, but I can meet you somewhere.”
“Nope, I’ll pick you up. It’s no problem. I’ll see you then.”
He hung up before I had a chance to protest further. I stood there clutching the phone for several minutes trying to take in what just happened. I had a date and I didn’t know who to call and tell first; Shanna or April. What was I going to wear? Where were we going? I felt so overwhelmed that I jumped onto Amanda’s bed, pressing my face into her pillow so no one would hear me scream. Realizing she would probably have a fit if she knew what I was doing, I jumped off her bed but couldn’t help but laugh at myself. I put the phone back on the base and stood in front of my closet hoping something would jump out at me. I checked the clock and it was early! It was only 3pm, but I didn’t care. I wanted to look perfect.
When I finally decided on what I was going to wear, I decided to go ahead and start getting ready. I knew it was crazy to start so early, but I couldn’t take just sitting there doing nothing. It was a moment that I knew I was going to look back at and laugh at myself. I took my time getting ready, moving really slow trying to justify getting ready so far ahead of time to leave. By 6:45, I was downstairs in the lobby waiting and about 5 minutes later, I saw him pull up. Before I went out, I used the courtesy phone and called April to give her the make, model, and license plate of his car. I didn’t expect anything to go wrong, but we both figured it was best to be safe than sorry. When I hung up with April, I took a deep breath before going out to the car. “OK.” I said to myself. “Here goes nothing.”
When I walked out, Eric quickly got out of the car to open my car door. Wow, I thought, he’s really trying to be charming. I couldn’t help but notice how nice he looked. A complete turnaround from the day I saw him at the dining hall.
“You clean up well.”
“Yeah, well I do what I can.”
“Well, I didn’t know what to wear since you didn’t tell me where we were going.”
“Relax, you look fine.”
We listened to jazz music while making small talk in the car and before I knew it we were downtown Wilmington, going to eat at Elijah’s. He was really trying to impress me. Shanna had warned me of this. She said guys would be so charming in the beginning do whatever necessary to wheel you in. I knew I had to be careful, yet at the same time, I still wanted to have a good time. Fun was an underestimate
of the time we had together. We sat at the restaurant and talked for over two hours. When we got tired of the waitress politely coming by to get rid of us, we finally left. Neither of us was ready to call it a night though. Instead we took a walk on the beach and by the time we finally called it a night I felt like I knew everything there was to know about him. It was such a perfect night that I went to bed that night feeling like I was floating on a cloud. “Please God” I said to myself, “let this be for real.”
A month later I was pretty sure my prayer had been answered. I felt like that month was one of the best of my life. My family was aware of Eric, but I was careful not to let on to how excited I was about our growing relationship. For one, I wasn’t sure if we were official and two, I knew that their response would be for me to focus on school not a boy. So, I decided to wait just a bit longer before telling them anything else. As happy as I was getting to know Eric, it was still in the back of mind that at any moment he could show his true colors and leave me looking like a complete idiot. While I did not feel comfortable talking about Eric to my family, April had become my confidant. She had become a really good friend to me and seemed fine listening to me gush and rant. Secretly I think she was so willing since she had given him my phone number and hoped that he turned out to be a decent guy. Interestingly, I found it hard to determine what April thought about Eric. On at least two occasions, she had eaten lunch with the both of us, but never gave an opinion of him when it was just the two of us alone. I figured either she felt it wasn’t her place to give an opinion or that he passed her test.