by Trish D.
The sound of laughter from the living room woke me up from my sleep. What was supposed to be just a short nap had turned into me being asleep for hours. When I woke and looked at the clock it was after 7pm. I couldn’t believe I was that tired, but I definitely felt refreshed. Before heading out to the living room, I tried to call Eric and could only laugh when it rang until the voicemail picked up. Since I didn’t want to let on to how annoyed I was getting with him, I left a very nice and calm message along with the number to reach me at Shanna’s. I told myself that if he didn’t call back, I wasn’t going to try to contact him anymore. We were too old for the games he was playing.
Coming out the spare bedroom, it was no surprise to see that Craig was there cuddled up on the couch with Shanna.
“Look who finally decided to wake up.”
“About time.” Shanna chimed in. “I thought you were going to sleep through the night.”
“I didn’t realize how tired I was. You guys should have woken me up a long time ago.”
“If you’re anything like Shanna when she doesn’t get her rest, it was best you stay asleep.” Craig and I both laughed at this comment. Shanna was not amused.
Quickly changing the subject, Shanna suggested we go out and get some dinner, which sounded great to me since I hadn’t eaten since mid-morning. It also gave me a chance to somewhat see the city and places nearby that I could apply to work at for the summer. Shanna had never had a lot of good things to say about the area, but it didn’t look too bad to me when I was driving in. However, everything close to Shanna’s apartment was either a fast food place or retail clothing store. I emphatically did not want to do either of those. I mentally made plans to get out the next day and venture out farther from Shanna’s place to see what else I could find. One thing that I did see that was good was that there was a hospital just ten minutes from her apartment, which would be convenient if I could get on as a volunteer. I was so deep in thought that I didn’t even realize that we had arrived at the restaurant.
“You coming in or should we bring your food out here for you to eat?” I had known Craig for some time now and never knew he was such a funny guy.
“Very funny, you should consider a part-time job as a comedian.”
“Nah, no one would be able to afford me.”
We ended up at the Terminal Brew House, a place that I had heard Shanna talk about on several occasions. I was finally able to see what the fuss was all about. Shanna and Craig were obviously regulars and didn’t even have to look at the menu before ordering a pizza to share and a couple of beers. There was so much that sounded good that the decision wasn’t that easy for me. I finally decided on the salmon cakes and sweet potato fries. Salmon cakes were something that Eric loved. He had convinced me to try them one Sunday morning that we went out for brunch. My mind instantly began to wonder what he was doing, if he was thinking of me, and mostly if he was OK. Craig and Shanna were too busy enjoying their beers to notice I was in my own thoughts. Those two together were quite a sight to see. They were so wrapped up in each other that it was like I wasn’t even there. It was like no one else in rest of the restaurant was there. I can’t say that it really bothered me, but I knew I did not want to spend my summer being the third wheel. I needed to find a job ASAP.
The next morning I was up and at them. I heard Shanna moving around getting dressed for her internship and decided not to waste time. It was just before 7am and I was surprised that Shanna was up so early considering how much she had drank the night before. She and Craig both had three beers at dinner, which surprised me that Shanna drank that much since I had never seen her drink before. That was just their warm up apparently. When we got back to the apartment, they pulled out the “good stuff” from her pantry that had a shelf dedicated to liquor. She was of age and didn’t seem to show signs of being an alcoholic; yet seeing her drink so much was a little alarming to me. Even more surprising was the fact that she was offering me drinks. It was tempting for maybe half a second until I remembered the night Jackie died, how Daniel acted when drinking, and the stories Eric told me about the drinkers in his family. I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. It wasn’t long before their antics started to annoy me. Not wanting to be a party pooper, I endured it until it just got completely ridiculous and I went on to bed.
The fact that Shanna was up bright and early made me wonder if it was a regular habit for her. However, I had to keep in mind that she was an adult and it wasn’t my place to worry about it or question her. When I came out the room to head to the shower, Shanna looked just as surprised to see me up, as I was to see that she was up.
“You’re getting up already?”
“Yep, I figured I would get an early start and go by the hospital to apply for volunteer positions and then go and look for other jobs.”
“Oh, ok well don’t get lost.
I just smiled at her last comment and continued on my way to bathroom when she stopped me.
“By the way, when I checked the voicemail this morning there was a message from Eric.” Her words stopped me in my tracks. I had been so caught up in the shenanigans of the night before that I didn’t even think to ask Shanna to check for messages. Shanna could obviously tell this was information I had been waiting to hear and had to egg things on.
“He said he looooves you and misses you oh so much.”
Between snickers she added that the message was saved and the password was her birthday. I didn’t want to seem like I was jumping to listen and call him back so I gave a calm “OK” over my shoulder as I continued on to the bathroom. It was after my shower that I listened to Eric’s voicemail that was nothing even close to the sweet message Shanna had teased me over. He was actually pretty dry. It seemed like he was leaving a message just to say he did. It made me not want to call back, but I did since I was trying not to be petty. By this time it was a quarter till 8 and I knew he was probably still asleep but I called anyway hoping that he knew it would be me calling and answer. No such luck.
∞∞∞
My first stop was Memorial Hospital, where I had trouble finding out where to park and then once inside, where to go. Instead of wasting time wandering around, I stopped at the information desk to ask the receptionist. She was a sweet older lady who wrote down the directions to the volunteer office and even offered to walk me there. I declined thinking that surely I could follow her written directions with no problem. However, I ended up passing the office twice. When I finally figured it out, I met with a lady named Lou Ann, who was the Director of Volunteer Services. She invited me in to talk about what I was expecting and what was required. She seemed like a really nice lady but I felt like I was in the middle of a very intense job interview. It was a relief when the questioning stopped and she asked me to fill out the actual application. When I gave her the completed application she thanked me and told me she would be in contact after speaking to my references. I was sure that I wouldn’t hear back from her.
I was determined to keep a positive attitude though as I drove around looking for places that I wanted to apply to work. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do or where to go and found myself just driving in circles hoping a place would jump out at me. Finally, I pulled over to a parking lot and sat there trying to figure out my next move. When I looked up I realized I was in front of an H&M clothing store. I had been a longtime fan of their clothes and imagined that the discount would be great. I hesitated though, knowing that I just really didn’t want to do retail. What were my other options though? I didn’t even know where to start looking for an office job and didn’t want to spend weeks waiting on a call back. Besides, it was just for the summer, it couldn’t be that bad. The store was just opening when I walked in so it wasn’t busy. It was perfect timing to talk with the manager.
To my surprise, the manager was a young, good-looking guy named Jason. He looked to be my age and for a second I thought he was joking about being the manager. I was so taken aback by his looks that I saw his mouth moving, but
was only able to nod in agreement. I couldn’t seem to form the words to respond. When I was able to regain my composure, I tuned in on him asking me to take a few minutes to fill out the application. The application wasn’t long and I was able to get it filled out fairly quickly. By this time, the store was slowly beginning to fill up with shoppers and I had no clue where Jason had gone. There were associates scattered throughout the store, but I wasn’t sure if I trusted them with the application while they were busy with other stuff. As I stood there blindly looking around for Jason, I heard a voice come up behind me.
“Are you all done with that?” It was Jason. He had appeared out of nowhere.
I wasn’t expecting him to just pop up behind me, but there he was looking and smelling like a million bucks. “Yes, I’m all done. I wasn’t sure if I was to leave it with one of the associates.”
“No, I’ll take it.” As he responded, he was reading over the application. I stood there awkwardly, wondering if I should wait or leave. I chose to wait. “When would you be able to start?”
“I’m available right away.” Again I was caught off guard. Was I being offered the job just like that?
“Great, come in Saturday at 9:30am and ask for me, I will get you set up with someone to train you.”
I agreed to meet Jason there in just two days and left the store. Once outside I let the smile out that had been itching to be released the minute I laid eyes on Jason. The fact that I was hired so quickly was an added bonus. I just needed to hear back from Lou Ann so that I could plan to volunteer on my days off. It seemed like a sure way to stay busy. I needed to stay as far away as possible from Shanna and Craig’s drunken love fests. Things were seemingly working out great right away and I was excited. I wasn’t sure what to do with the rest of my day. I had completed all I had set out for the day and it was barely lunchtime. Since I wanted to make a good first impression at the places I was applying at, I had dressed up in a skirt and blouse. With all my tasks completed, I could go home and change then find a place to have some lunch. Traffic seemed to be picking up and what should have been a 15-minute drive back to Shanna’s apartment took double the amount of time.
Back at the apartment, it crossed my mind to see if Eric had called back. I really didn’t want to be annoyed or angry if there wasn’t a message. As I was changing clothes, it hit me that I had been smiling at Jason and making a big deal about his good looks like I was a single person. I knew that wasn’t right for me to do and told myself that I would stop no matter how hard it was. After procrastinating I finally picked up the phone to check messages. My heart jumped when the automated voice said there was one new message even though I knew there was a chance that it could be someone else leaving a message for Shanna. Holding my breath as I pressed 1 to play the message, I was relieved to hear Eric’s voice. His voice sounded normal, but sad at the same time. The message was cut and dry and I hung up the phone feeling annoyed. I didn’t understand why he was so angry with me. I had encouraged him as much as I could to but he didn’t seem to want to do much but lay around all summer. He couldn’t be mad at me for wanting to do more with my summer. Despite my frustration, I called Eric back, knowing that it was likely he wasn’t doing much with his day and yet and still, there still was no answer. I didn’t bother to leave a message. What was the point? I was just done calling.
I didn’t really expect Eric to call back, but I was hopeful that he would. When another day passed and I didn’t hear from him, I told myself I wasn’t going to keep calling. I tried not to let it bother me, but it did and I wondered if I had messed up when I decided not to leave a message previously. Things were getting so complicated with him and as much as it bothered me that we weren’t talking, I felt like it was more stressful chasing after him. Despite what was going on with me personally, I tried to stay in good spirits that night while Shanna and Craig were up to what seemed to be their normal drinking shenanigans. After about twenty minutes, I was over it. It was very early to be going to bed, but I didn’t care; I had to get away from them. Luckily they didn’t give me too much grief. I went on to my room to lay down with a book I had picked up from the library earlier out of sheer boredom. I set my alarm and opened to page one of a book I hadn’t read in years: The Count of Monte Cristo.
The alarm went off the next morning, which was the morning I was to start work. I was still holding the book open and the light was still on from when I was reading. Apparently I had only gotten to page ten before I fell asleep. I felt refreshed though, which I figured was a good thing since I would be spending a lot of time on my feet for the day. When I went out my room to take a shower, I was stopped dead in my tracks at the state of the living room. I wasn’t sure when the pizza came, but they ordered one and left it sitting out on the coffee table. Beside the box was an empty vodka bottle, a half-finished bottle of tequila and numerous beer cans. It seemed like way too much for just the two of them to drink. Did I sleep through them having people over too? The light and the TV were still on as well and the random articles of clothes made me nervous for what I would find in the bathroom. Fortunately, it was all clear and I was able to shower and brush my teeth without anyone banging on the door to throw up. Heading back to my room and once again seeing the state of the living room made me wonder what Daddy would say to all this. When did this drinking start and was it because of Craig? On my way out the door, I turned off the light and TV. It wasn’t until I was almost to the door when I saw that something had spilled on the carpet. From the smell I could tell it was beer that no one had bothered to clean up. I just shook my head and left.
It was already warm outside, but there was a little breeze. I had no idea what to expect from traffic so I left early. It turned out that there was no traffic at that time on Saturday mornings, so I was at work in no time with twenty minutes to spare before my shift started. I had skipped breakfast at Shanna’s since I was disgusted by the condition of the apartment and wanted to beat traffic. I was glad to see a bagel shop was open just a few doors down from H&M. I sat outside with my cinnamon raisin bagel and orange juice and enjoyed the little time I had to just sit and people watch. It was about a quarter after 9 that I saw a grey Honda Civic parking and Jason getting out of the driver seat. He wasn’t dressed in anything spectacular but still looked good. I tried to fight back a smile and to get my heart to beat normal, but I couldn’t hide my excitement that he was going to be training me.
I arrived at the door with five minutes to spare. My breakfast had been done but I didn’t want to show up at the door too early and seem overly eager. It was a good thing since the door was locked. It was 9:35am before an associate realized I was out there waiting to get in.
“Hi there. Sorry, everyone usually calls when they are at the door. You must be our new person Cheryl.” The girl who answered the door was a bubbly girl. She seemed to have the perfect personality for retail, even at 9:30 in the morning.
“Yup, that’s me.” I tried to match her enthusiasm, but I was a little disappointed that Jason had sent her to greet me instead of coming himself.
“Well welcome aboard, I’m Felicity and I’m one of the assistant managers.”
“Thanks, I’m glad to be here.”
I stayed a few steps behind Felicity so that I could look around at what was going on. Mainly, I wanted to see if Jason was around. I only saw three other employees hanging up clothes and straightening up. I followed her to the back room, where she had a desk cleared off for me that was set up in front of a TV. There were clothes, hangers, boxes, and stuff everywhere. It didn’t understand how anyone was able to find what they needed among such madness. I hoped that organizing the mess wouldn’t be a part of my training. Most of my day was scheduled for watching training videos and then maybe a few hours on the floor. It was most certainly not what I expected. The only good thing was that this training area happened to be right across from Jason’s office. He was on the phone with his back to me and seemed to be really into the conversation. I wondered what
could be so important on a Saturday morning.
I was halfway through the first video fighting to stay awake, when the door to Jason’s office opened causing me to jump. Apparently, the jump was significant enough for Jason to notice because when I turned around he had a smirk on his face.
“Did I scare you?”
He had such a gorgeous smile and smelled amazing. I wanted to snuggle up to him, but I was able to refrain and gave a little smile responding, “Yeah, it scared me just a little.” It seemed like such a stupid response, but I was caught off guard and trying to keep my cool. It was the only thing I could think of to say.
“I know those videos are really boring. Unfortunately, they are part of the training. I’ll try to get you on the floor with Felicity shortly so we don’t bore you to death on your first day.”
“That sounds good.”
“Oh, I bet. We don’t want you leave today and never come back, so we will do our best to take good care of you.”
I smiled at his last response as he turned to make his way out onto the floor. Was he secretly flirting with me? I had to remind myself that I allegedly still had a boyfriend and even though he was being a jerk at the moment, I had to respect our relationship. I once again made a promise to myself to cut out the smiling and obsessing. I was there to do a job. Besides, someone who had a good job and looked as good as he did had to have a significant other. I figured he was also too old for me. I had a guess in my head that he was probably late twenties or early thirties. Gross! No way I could date someone one that much older than me. What would my family say? I could only imagine the looks I would get from them if I popped up to holiday dinners with a guy ten years or older than me. It would never fly.
Felicity came to rescue me around lunchtime to see how I was doing and to tell me to go on lunch. She looked frazzled by this point. Her hair was wild all over her head and she was visibly sweating. Yet, she was still in the same bubbly mood that she was in when I got there. When I walked out there wasn’t a big crowd like I expected. It was hard to understand why Felicity was sweating so badly. I wasn’t sure where I wanted to go for lunch but I knew I had to choose quickly since I only had thirty minutes. It hardly seemed like enough time to eat but I was more than happy to have a break from watching the training videos. I decided on a sub from Jason’s Deli and enjoyed the warm summer sun while I ate. I came back to work to an absolute mad house. I almost wanted to walk back outside and make sure I had walked into the right place. Where did all the people come from? I didn’t know where to go, so I headed back to my training area when Felicity stopped me.