Something Had to Give

by Trish D.

  “Hey, was lunch OK Cheryl?” She was yelling out from behind the cash register.

  “Yeah, it was fine.”

  “Ok, great. You can set your purse down and come on back out. We could use you out here.”

  I had no clue what I was getting myself into, but I was glad to be getting away from the videos. Back on the floor, I worked with Felicity hanging up new merchandise and when she was called to handle a problem, I went right along with her. Felicity was quite a chatterbox in between putting out little fires around the store. She never complained, even when it was crystal clear that the customer was in the wrong. It quickly became clear why she was sweating so hard. I was tired from trying to keep up with her. Finally, at 4pm, Jason came and told me to I could go home. I was relieved even though I had to come back the next day to hopefully finish up the training videos. Jason was waiting at the door as I headed toward the exit through the crowded store. I was thinking he wanted to talk to me before I left, but apparently there was a policy that everyone’s bags had to be checked before leaving the store. He did flash me one of his million dollar smiles, which left a nice image in my head as I walked to my car. I had to remind myself that I wasn’t and shouldn’t be so mesmerized by his smile. I had to stop starting the next day.

  I stopped by the grocery store to pick up a few things since I was tired of fast food, which was all Shanna, and Craig ate. I was relieved to get to the apartment and see that no one was there. I had assumed that Craig had his own place but he was at the apartment so much that it was hard to tell. Someone had cleaned up the apartment and there was a fan blowing on the newly scrubbed part of the carpet where alcohol had spilled. It was a big improvement from when I had left, but it still had a funky smell. I felt like the drinking was going to happen every weekend, if not more. Maybe it was just me being tired from working, but at that moment I felt like I didn’t want to be there. I knew I had to stick it out though. The only other option was to go home and I could only imagine the problems it would cause when questions arose as to why I left. As I put away the groceries that I bought, it dawned on me to check the messages to see if Eric called. Taking a seat on the couch I did just that. My heart jumped when I heard there was one new message only to be quickly deflated when I heard it was Daddy’s voice calling to check-in on us. I couldn’t believe that Eric just wasn’t going to call me anymore. Thinking about the situation made me so angry that I impulsively dialed his number to go off on him. He didn’t answer which made me glad instead of angrier. I didn’t need him to know that he had taken me out of my element.

  I don’t even know how long I sat there with my eyes closed trying to calm down. I was tired, hungry, annoyed and letting my emotions get the best of me. My mind was telling me to just let the situation go with Eric and enjoy my summer, but there was a nagging feeling in my heart that I wasn’t trying hard enough. My heart was telling me that I should try and call him again. How many times though was I supposed to try? My heart won the battle and dialed his number once again, but once again there was no answer. I left a message telling him that I had things I wanted to tell him hoping that it would spark some interest and make him call back. All I could do at that point was wait. It seemed like I was always waiting on him to call back and I felt stupid that I had called and left another message. Did I seem desperate? That’s the last thing I wanted to do, but I just wanted him to know that I hadn’t just deserted him.

  I only planned to sit there on the couch for a few minutes after trying to call Eric and then go and cook the stir-fry I had picked up from the grocery store. My tiredness overpowered me and the next thing I knew, I was jumping up out of my sleep from hearing the door opening. It was Craig walking in talking very loudly with Shanna right on his heels laughing at whatever he was saying.

  “Oh well good morning.” Of course Craig couldn’t resist a smart comment.

  I didn’t respond.

  “Wow. Was it a rough first day on the job?” Shanna asked as she came in carrying a case of beer.

  “Just a little tired.”

  I was instantly annoyed with the both of them and didn’t feel like sitting around joking with them. I made my way to the kitchen glancing at the clock and was shocked to see that it was almost 8pm. I was famished by this point and only wanted to eat then go to bed. I had no interest in sitting around watching them make fools of themselves. Craig followed me into the kitchen to put the case of beer down. He obviously didn’t catch the hint that I didn’t want to be bothered.

  “Hey Shanna, Cheryl is making us dinner. How kind of you!”

  I knew anything I said at this point would be pretty nasty, so I just smiled and continued what I was doing.

  “What?” Shanna replied as she made her way to the kitchen. “Well gosh, next time let us know so we don’t stop and eat first.”

  They were both over my shoulder and I wanted to yell at both of them to back off. To make matters worse, Shanna’s breath reeked of beer and it was making my empty stomach turn. I could tell they were already on their way to being drunk because neither of them caught on to the fact that I just wanted to be left alone. I was starting to think they drank every night so that they could just walk around in a state of constant goofiness letting nothing bother them. At that point I wanted to join them just so I wouldn’t feel so blah, but I knew I could never actually bring myself to actually do it. Shanna and Craig finally went back to the living room and started a movie. I could hear them cackling and joking on each other as I sat at the kitchen table alone eating my dinner. It sucked eating by myself, but at the same time, I was glad they left me alone. I wasted no time cleaning up after I ate and as I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth I told myself not to even look at what they were up to. I felt a rush of relief when I was in my room and with the door closed and they had seemingly forgotten I was even there. I curled up in bed to watch an episode of Law and Order on TV feeling like such a loser for being in bed so early on a Saturday night. It definitely wasn’t what I expected of the summer.

  I was up at 7am the next morning feeling refreshed and in a much better mood. My work shift didn’t begin until 12pm, so I was hoping to just relax until then, providing Shanna and Craig let that happen. When I opened my room door, there was a note taped to the door. Immediately I rolled my eyes but opened it anyway. Shanna’s handwriting was instantly recognizable and there were several hearts drawn all over the paper. In the middle of the paper she had written: “Eric called.” It was completely over the top to go through the trouble to draw so many hearts, but it made me laugh anyway. I wasn’t sure if I was laughing at the note or just happy that he had called. Even though it was very early, I felt like it was the only time I would be able to catch him. I figured that since he had called me the night before that had to mean he was over being mad at me and ready to talk. I went back in my room to call Eric back so that I wouldn’t be interrupted and go figure; it rang until the voicemail picked up. Was he still going to play this game? I wasn’t going to go for it. I was prepared to keep calling until he answered. The third time, the line connected but no one said anything.

  “Hello. Hello, Eric say something. I know you’re on the line.” I was so annoyed with him. Who picks up the phone and doesn’t say anything?

  “Yeah, I’m here. It’s like 7 o clock in the morning. Why are you calling so early?” He sounded equally annoyed.

  “It’s actually almost 8 o clock and I’m calling now because any other time I call you don’t pick up the phone. What’s going on with you?”

  “Oh, that’s funny since yesterday was the first time I’ve had a message from you in like a week and when I call you back, you’re supposedly asleep at 10 on a Saturday night. I should be the one asking what’s going on.”

  “I was asleep. I started working yesterday and I was tired. I may not have left messages every time, but I have been calling.” I was surprised at how hostile he was towards me and the nerve of him to insinuate that I wasn’t really asleep when he called made me
want to choke him through the phone.

  “Whatever. I don’t need you calling me this early in the morning starting fights. You haven’t been calling, why not keep it that way?”

  “Wow!” Wow was all I could think of to say in response that type of comment. After a brief silence I asked, “So what does that mean? Do you want to be done?”

  “It doesn’t really matter to me. We’re so far apart, never get to see each other, and hardly talk. It’s not really a relationship.”

  “Well then I guess that’s it. Have a good summer.”

  I hung up the phone without even waiting on a response. I was actually proud of myself that I kept it somewhat civil despite how angry I was. We didn’t have major problems. The physical distance was temporary and the recent lack of communication was something that could easily be fixed. It was just a misunderstanding. Why couldn’t he see that? We had a good relationship I thought up until school ended and it just seemed like a petty reason to throw it all away. A part of me hoped he would call back and we could talk things out. The other part wanted to call him back, but I fought the urge. I felt really down about our conversation and just laid there trying to figure out what I could have done differently. It was such a sucky feeling. I had to get it together so that I could make it through my day at work. I also didn’t want Shanna and Craig to know what was going on. They lived on their own planet and there was no way they would understand.

  I made it out the door without running into either one of them and my whole day at work was spent watching the videos and other computer-based training modules. I felt brain dead by the time I left at 5:30pm, but I was glad that I didn’t have to interact with customers or staff besides Felicity. Jason had the day off which I was also glad about. I didn’t want him to see me in my funky mood and also, though it was ridiculous, I felt like my feelings toward him played a part in the demise of my relationship with Eric. I knew it was a crazy thought, but I couldn’t keep my mind from thinking about all the things that possibly led up to the break up. There were several times that I found myself having to fight back tears and I felt so relieved when the training was done. I had made it through the day without having a major meltdown. Before I left, Felicity asked how many hours I was expecting to work and without hesitation I told her to put me down for as many as possible. Between my annoying sister and Eric, I had no choice but to stay busy.

  My first week, I worked every day except for Wednesday. I trained alongside Felicity doing various things around the store including window displays, stocking and folding, and learning the cash register. Felicity had the patience of a saint and despite the craziness of what was going on, she kept a positive attitude and calm demeanor. I never worked directly with Jason, but the few times I saw him handling a customer complaint, he wasn’t nearly as patient or compassionate. For the most part it seemed like he diverted such problems to Felicity. The other sales associates seemed to take to Felicity more than Jason as well. She was pulled into so many directions during the day that I didn’t understand how she didn’t run out of the store pulling her hair out on a daily basis. It wasn’t a glamorous job, but it kept me busy and I only spent a limited amount of time around Shanna and Craig. What I thought was their weekend hobby, was actually something they did almost every day of the week. It didn’t take long for me to determine that they were both functioning alcoholics.

  After four days straight of working, I was sure that I would be glad of one day off. Shanna and Craig both had to work and I planned on being a couch potato all day without having to deal with them. They were so loud getting ready that I was up at 7:30am and couldn’t for the life of me fall back asleep after they left. It didn’t take long before I was bored out of mind. I quickly realized that days off weren’t all they were cracked up to be. It was almost lunchtime and there was absolutely nothing on TV to watch and Shanna’s movie collection was full of documentaries that I was sure belonged to Craig. I had almost dozed off when the phone rang and to my surprise it was Lou Ann from the hospital. She had talked to my references and wanted me to start with them ASAP. I had to go through a volunteer orientation and there just happened to be one that afternoon starting at 1pm. It was like music to my ears. Not only had I found something to do that day, I also had something to do on my days off.

  Over the next several weeks, I stayed busy just as I had wanted. I worked anywhere between twenty-eight and thirty-two hours a week at the store alternating between early and later shifts. There was rarely a day that it was slow and we were usually short staffed since a lot of my co-workers wanted to take summer vacations. One my days off I volunteered at the hospital. Orientation had been a breeze. It was basically a formality of learning about the different services offered at the hospital and what was expected as a volunteer. After orientation, Lou Ann had asked where I wanted to volunteer and I didn’t have to think about it before requesting the cancer hospital. My quick response seemed to surprise her and she proceeded to tell me how hard it could be to work with cancer patients. I listened quietly silently thinking to myself “if she only knew.” My first day volunteering brought back so many memories of watching the cancer literally eat Derrick up. I wondered if I had made a mistake, but with subsequent shifts, it got better and quickly became something I enjoyed.

  It was right before the Fourth of July holiday that was I working a closing shift with Jason and two other employees. My assignment for that day was on the floor, which meant folding, and re-folding, cleaning out dressing rooms, and helping customers find what they needed. With it being right around the holiday, there weren’t many people out shopping and there was a lot of down time. Felicity had the day off, which meant Jason couldn’t hide out in his office and spent a lot of his time on the floor with me. I learned a lot about him that day. He was twenty-three which was a lot younger than I expected and had worked at the store since high school, becoming a manager after finishing his bachelor’s degree in communications. His whole family was in Chattanooga including his parents, two sisters, and both sets of grandparents. When I asked if he spent a lot of time with his family he had an interesting response.

  “When I can, I do. That’s rarely though, since this job requires so many hours. It doesn’t really leave time for family, a girlfriend, a pet, or pretty much anything else.”

  “Oh, I bet.” He caught me off guard conveniently throwing out that he didn’t have a girlfriend, but I couldn’t let him know that. I hoped I did a good job of playing it cool.

  The details weren’t clear to me but somehow it ended up just being me and Jason closing the store. At 8:30pm, I saw him walking Shasta out and realized I was the only associate left. I wasn’t particularly in a rush to get home, but why didn’t he choose me to leave early? Shasta was a lot faster at counting down the registers. It made more sense to keep her there. I went along with it though without protesting. Jason kept right on talking to the point that I had to recount the register twice because he was distracting me. His technique for closing the store was totally different from Felicity. I didn’t understand how he was able to get everything done the correct way with all the talking he did. Just when I thought it had been a strange day, things really got interesting once we left the store and our conversation continued.

  “It wasn’t too bad of a day today. The holiday usually keeps people home with their families.”

  “No, it wasn’t bad at all.” I’m starving now though. The sandwich I had for lunch is long gone.” My intention was to just keep the conversation going. He seemed to take it as a hint.

  “Funny you say that because I could definitely eat. There’s a Taco Mamacita restaurant not too far from here, what do you say? My treat.”

  “Sure. Tacos sound good.” I almost declined when it hit me that I didn’t have to. I didn’t have a boyfriend anymore and I was free to do whatever I wanted. Besides, anything was better than going home to the drunks.

  Jason had offered me a ride to the restaurant, but I felt more comfortable following him there
in my own car. The restaurant wasn’t too busy allowing us to get a table without waiting and decided to eat outside. Either Jason was a complete gentlemen or he was putting on a show to make a good first impression. Not only had he opened the door for me, but had also pulled out my chair for me. Grandpa was the only other guy that I had seen do that before. When the waitress came to get our drink order, I was relieved when we were offered beers and he declined. As we sat looking at the menu it hit me that it was our first date. I wondered if it was the norm for him to take sales associates out for dinner or if I was just special since I was just there for the summer. I wondered if Eric had started dating someone else or if it would even faze him that I was out with someone else. I didn’t let my mind wander long. After all, I had been swooning over this guy since I laid eyes on him and I was actually on a date with him. There was no need to ruin it by thinking about my ex.

  Jason made it really easy to relax and enjoy myself. Instead of him talking about himself, he showed a genuine interest in getting to know me. I told him about my family and some about school, but I didn’t give much detail about either. He seemed like a nice guy, but I was learning all too well that that was not always the case. When our food came, a live band had finished setting up and started to play. The band was loud which cut into our ability to talk, but we did the best we could and still enjoyed the meal. Before we knew it, it was almost 11pm and it was obvious they were looking to close up so we decided to leave. Jason walked me to my car that was just a few rows from his and once again opened my door for me to get in. We bid our goodbyes and I was on my way home. Emotionally, I felt the best I had felt in weeks, but I was cautious not to get too excited knowing that things had a habit of changing for me in a blink of an eye. For that moment though, I was just happy for a good day.