by KJ Dahlen
“Well hell, this night will never be over,” Bam Bam swore.
Grizzly shook his head. “Why don’t you and Wiley take your daughter back to the clubhouse? Get her checked out and just hold her for a moment? I think you both need that right now. The rest of us can deal with this.”
Bam Bam looked over at his men and they all nodded. Then he glanced at Deke and saw the other man nod as well.
Wiley got to his feet with Nix in his arms. He wasn’t about to lose her again.
Bam Bam grinned. “I’ll drive.”
“You got that right,” Wiley grumbled. “I’m never letting her go again.”
Nix smiled and lifted her hand to his jaw. “I’m not going anywhere big guy.” She could barely speak above a whisper but he heard every word.
“Damn right, you’re not.” Wiley looked down into her eyes. “I’ve got you now and I’m not letting you go.”
Chapter Eleven
Bam Bam drove to the clubhouse and once they were there, he helped Wiley get inside with Nix. Suddenly, he was weary. So much had happened in the last few days and his head was still spinning.
In the span of a few days, he’d found a daughter he’d never know about, and found out what really happened with Milly. Lies decades old had sabotaged his first marriage. Lies told by a bitter old man to somehow justify what he’d done.
Those same lies cost a lot of men their lives tonight. Lives that didn’t need to be wasted. He shook his head. Following Wiley and Nix into the clubhouse, he noted his dad’s car sitting in the parking lot.
If he’d been blown away, he could about imagine how his dad felt. The one he was really worried about was Lila and the boys. How would they accept Nix and would Nix give them a chance to be her family now?
As they walked in, Bam Bam found his dad waiting for them. His dad looked at Nix and his eyes followed her all the way down the hall to the bedroom she was sharing with Wiley. His dad then looked back at him and exhaled. “Well, that was fun.” Referring to the showdown with Moses.
“It had to be done. He had to know the truth about his dad.”
Greg nodded. “I just wish it had been sooner rather than later. What Michael did not only to Travis but to those two boys would be considered criminal.”
Bam Bam nodded, then faced the elephant in the room. “Did you see her dad?” he asked quietly.
“Yeah, I did.” Greg admitted. “She really is your daughter with Milly.”
Bam Bam nodded. “Yeah, she’s mine. But I swear to you I never knew Milly was carrying my kid when I walked out on her.”
“Oh, I know that much and you thought you had reason to walk the way you did. How do you think Lila is going to take the news?”
“I hope she’ll accept Nix,” Bam Bam said. “She’s been alone all her life and I can’t allow her to feel that way anymore. She’s got me and she’s got two brothers and a grandfather out there as well.”
“I think she’ll have Lila as well,” Greg told him.
“Dad, how the hell am I supposed to be a dad again?”
“I don’t think she needs you as a dad. In case you didn’t know it, she’s full grown my boy.”
“That might just be the problem!” Bam Bam exclaimed. “She is full grown. She grew up all by herself. I wasn’t there when she needed me the most. What the hell am I supposed to do now?”
Greg slapped his son on the shoulder. “The best thing you can do is just be there for her when she comes to you. Listen to her stories and offer suggestions. You can’t give her boundaries, you can’t tell her what she can and can’t do. But you can listen to her.” He nodded. “She’ll tell you what she wants from you and hopefully she’ll give you a chance to know who she is. It may not be who you think she should be but it is who she is. Accept that and you accept her.”
“You know that’s confusing as hell don’t you?” He frowned at his father.
“Yeah I know, but its all I got right now.” Greg chuckled. “You’ve got a big problem facing you right now. Don’t burn any bridges is all I’m saying. Give both of you a chance to know each other.”
“I’m going to try.”
“Good, but that means you also have to accept Wiley in her life,” Greg warned. “He doesn’t seem to want to let her go anytime soon.”
“I know.” Bam Bam ran his hands over his lower face and jaw he had to admit. “I’m not sure, I like that but I also know I can’t do anything to stop it.”
“But?”
“But I want the time to get to know her too,” he admitted.
“I don’t think he’d stop that,” Greg told his son.
“Maybe what I really want is the last twenty-three years back.”
Sam walked up behind them. He was one of the ones that had been wounded tonight. He took a bullet to his arm and Raine had just finished with him. “I know you don’t want unsolicited advice here but I’m going to give you some anyway. You can’t get those lost years back. What you can do is be there for her now and in the future. Hold her close to your heart but not too close you smother the hell out of her.”
Bam Bam turned to look at the older man. “And what would you know about it?”
Sam smiled and shook his head. “I had to watch from afar while my baby mama’s raised my kids alone. I found my oldest son when he was twelve and I made mistakes with that boy right and left. He was the bigger man and gave me a second chance only after he was fully grown. I learned my lessons, but it almost cost me my son. Don’t make the mistakes I made man, not if you want her in your life.”
Sam turned and walked away leaving the two men alone with their own thoughts.
Bam Bam sighed. “I think I need to call Lila and the boys. We have a lot to talk about.”
When the phone rang in a small house in Pownal, Lila answered it with hesitation. This was the one thing every wife learned to dread when you belonged to an MC. When she heard her husband’s voice on the phone Lila said a silent prayer of thanks. “How are you?” she asked.
“I’m ok. I do have some news though. Do you remember I told you there was a witness I needed to talk to about the murder four years ago?”
“Yeah, I remember.”
“Well, it seems this girl is more than I ever thought possible.”
Lila frowned. “What does that mean?”
“Do you remember when I told you about Milly? About how she chose another man over me?”
“Yes, I remember.” Lila began to feel dread in her heart. “What about her?”
“I never knew it I swear,” Bam Bam assured her.
“What didn’t you know?”
“That she was having my child when she left me. I have a daughter with her. A daughter she named Phoenix.”
Lila was stunned by the news. “Milly gave you a daughter and never told you? Are you sure she’s your child?”
“Honey, she looked just like her mother but she’s got my eyes and my hair. Nix is my daughter.”
“Ok but what does that mean? Where is Milly?”
“Milly died ten years ago.”
“Why didn’t this girl come to you then?”
“She was running for her life. It’s a long story. It would be better if we spoke about this in person. I don’t want to leave her right now, as I want to get to know her. I’m hoping you and the boys can accept her. I just wanted to let you know about her.”
“So you want us to meet her?”
“I do.”
“Okay. We’ll come to you and meet your daughter.” She took a deep breath then said, “Honey, I know you had a life before we met and I know how hurt you were when Milly left you for another man. Personally, I don’t know how she could do that but hey, that was on her not me. You have to know that I’m not Milly and I took you for better or worse. This isn’t the worst but it could be the better. We don’t know yet do we?” She paused then assured him, “We’ll figure this out as a family, ok?”
“Ok.” Bam Bam sighed. “Thank you.”
“We�
��ll be there in the morning.”
“Ok.” Bam Bam hung up the call feeling a little better. When he saw Raine coming out of Wiley’s room he met him half way down the hall. “How is she?”
Raine looked at him and shook his head. “Turnkey beat her up pretty bad but she’ll live. Her worst injury is the rope burn to her throat. It’s pretty swollen right now and we have to wait until the swelling goes down before we know the full extent of her injuries.”
“Can I see her?”
Raine shrugged. “That you’ll have to ask Wiley about. He might want you to wait until she can get some rest.”
Bam Bam nodded.
Wiley opened the door behind him. “She wants to see you.” When he came closer, Wiley warned him, “She can’t talk or at least she shouldn’t be talking yet, so don’t push it.”
Bam Bam nodded. Entering the bedroom, he noted her lying on the bed. He walked over to it and sat down. “Are you okay baby girl?”
She shook her head. She opened her mouth to speak but Bam Bam laid his finger over her lips. “Please honey, don’t try to speak. But I would like you to listen. Please just listen to me.”
Nix nodded.
“When we, your mom and me, were in Phoenix the chapter of the Hellions had just arrived. They were settling there and we were on our way to find a new home. I was so in love with your mom, at least I thought I was. But there was something bothering her. I don’t know if it was because we couldn’t settle down as husband and wife or if it was something else. I guess one of the reasons I was willing to leave was the fact she wasn’t happy there. I never thought there was anything wrong in our relationship until I saw her with another man. She had a look in her eyes that day that she never had when she was with me. I recognized it even if she didn’t. I walked away rather than fight for her. Maybe knowing now I could have, maybe even should have, the fact is I didn’t. I saw her actions as a betrayal instead of what it was. A desperate plea from your mom for her freedom. I didn’t want to stop her from finding happiness but I was just too hurt to see what she needed. I swear to you darlin, I had no clue you were ever a part of her yet. I never would have stopped her from leaving but I would have fought for you. You never would have had to be alone ever. I would have been there for you every step of the way. But you and I never got that.”
Tears streamed down her cheeks as Nix listened.
He paused the exhaled. “I’d like that chance now. I know you’re all grown up but I’d like the chance to know you now. I have another wife and two sons. I want you to know them and them to know you. You can be part of our family if that’s something you’d like. I know you’re with Wiley now and I won’t stand between the two of you. I guess what I’m saying is that I want a chance to get to know you. If you’ll allow it. I’ll let you get some rest tonight and I’ll see you in the morning. My wife Lila and our sons are coming down tomorrow. I’d like to introduce you to them, if you like.”
Nix nodded then reached out her hand to her dad.
He chuckled and said, “Also my dad is here and he’d like to meet you as well.”
“Maybe tomorrow but no more tonight,” Wiley told him.
“Of course, I just wanted to see for myself she was ok,” Bam Bam told him. Leaning forward he brushed his lips to her forehead. “Rest now and I’ll see you in the morning.”
Nix grabbed his hand and brought it to her lips. She kissed his hand and smiled.
Wiley crossed his arms over his chest and glared at the other man for a moment then his eyes met Nix’s. He saw the emotion in them and his heart softened. He nodded to her and waited for Bam Bam to get to his feet.
When Bam Bam got close to him he said, “Watch over her tonight man. Give her what I never could. Protect her from the nightmares I know she’s going to have tonight and in the coming nights. Hold her safely in your arms.”
“I plan to old man.” Wiley growled.
“Thank you for letting me see her.” Bam Bam walked through the door.
Chapter Twelve
The next morning about dawn, Nix opened her eyes. At first, she didn’t know why she hurt so much then she tried to move and the events of last night flooded back to her. She groaned as she tried to move.
Strong arms came around her and he whispered in her ear. “Careful sweet girl, you took quite a beating.”
“I know...” She swallowed then finished, “I was there remember?”
“Smart ass.” Wiley growled. “If you weren’t so hurt right now I’d paddle your ass for disobeying me.”
Tears flooded her face.
Wiley caught sight of them and his heart hurt. “Oh baby, I’d never hurt you. I hate the fact that Turnkey hurt you so badly.” He sighed. “I wish I’d gotten the chance to make him pay for that.”
She lifted her hand to cover his mouth. “I know you wouldn’t. Time will take my pain away and heal the bruises. But I have something to ask.” Her voice was little more than a whisper and her throat was sore and swollen from the strain of talking.
“What is it?” Wiley searched her face.
“Did you mean what you said last night?”
“What did I say?”
“You said you were going to keep me. Did you mean that?”
Wiley smiled. “Yeah, I mean it. I know you just found your dad and grandpa but you aren’t leaving me. I have no problem with you seeing them and getting to know them but I live here and you are living with me. You belong to me now and forever. That’s just the way it is. And that’s the way it is gonna stay.”
“Does that mean you love me?” she asked in a small voice.
Wiley cocked his head and glared at her. “Didn’t I just say that woman?”
She shook her head. “No... you just said I wasn’t going anywhere. That I belonged to you and would forever. You never said that you loved me.”
“Well hell woman, that’s what you belong to me means.”
Nix’s face lit up. “Does it also mean that you belong to me too?”
“I’d better be the only one you belong to.” Wiley growled. “I don’t share with anyone.”
“Good, neither do I.” She stared at him.
Wiley cocked his head and studied her face. “How are you feeling this morning?”
She closed her eyes and groaned. “Like someone took a baseball bat to me.”
“Yeah someone did just that. Do you think you could eat something?”
Nix nodded. “I could try, but I really need a cup of coffee.”
“Then let’s get you a cup of coffee.” Wiley got up and helped her to her feet. He helped her get dressed and when he opened the door, Shadow looked up at them both.
Nix held out her hand and petted the dog.
“He alerted us when you went missing yesterday. We might not have known for a long time if he hadn’t been scratching at the door.”
Nix smiled and caressed the dog’s head. “Good boy Shadow. Good boy.”
Wiley helped her down the hall. When they got there everyone was already there waiting for them. Wiley looked at the clock and saw it was only seven a.m. “Why is everyone here already?” he asked his president.
“No one has been to bed yet,” Deke told him. “We just got done at the barn. There was a mountain of clean up to do. We burned the barn and couldn’t leave until the last of it was done.”
“How many men died?” Nix whispered.
“No one from our group.” Deke shrugged.
“And no one from mine either,” Bam Bam claimed. “That’s not to say we don’t have wounded but at least no one died.”
“Did any of Moses’ men’s live?” she asked.
Bam Bam shook his head.
No one in the room said a word.
A long time later Nix had to ask, “Ok so what happens now? Where do we go from here?”
“My wife and sons are on their way here to meet you. I hope you don’t mind?” Bam Bam informed her.
Nix startled and turned her head to stare at him. “You’re wi
fe and sons?”
Bam Bam nodded. “Lila, Sam and Ben. They can’t wait to meet you. I told you last night, remember?”
She shook her head. “I-I was kind of in a fog last night. And we don’t even know that you’re my dad yet.”
Bam Bam cleared his throat and reached into his back pocket. He put a piece of paper on the table close to her.
Nix looked at the paper then looked over at Wiley.
Wiley picked it up and looked at it for a moment, then turned the paper over to her. “It’s your birth certificate sweetheart. Your mom did register your birth. She named Stone Matthias as your father. It looks as legal as you can get it.”
Nix looked at the words on the paper. Even though she couldn’t read the words themselves, she knew Wiley wouldn’t tell her something if it wasn’t true. She traced the letters with her fingertips. Her hands were shaking as she did. “I have a birth certificate? I’m a real person?”
Every man in the room took a moment to take a breath. They all looked choked up. Some looked away as they cleared their throats
Reva and Cassie were in the kitchen and they were crying when they heard her words of wonder at such a simple thing as a birth certificate.
“Baby, you’ve always been a real person,” Wiley whispered in her ear.
“And I have a family?” she marveled. “A real family?”
“Yup.” Wiley popped the p in yup. “Not only that sweet girl but you got an old man now too.”
She giggled. “You aren’t THAT old.”
He laughed.