by Pamela Wells
“Need any help?” she asked. She didn’t really feel like helping, but it was something to get her mind off Drew’s flakiness.
“No,” he said as he set the pan on the stovetop and poked the meat with a knife. Sydney swore she saw it breathe. “Thanks for asking though.” He turned to his wife. “Honey, dinner is done.”
“All right.” She clicked in a few more things on her laptop. “I’m almost finished. Just five more minutes.”
Mr. Howard nodded and got plates out, then started slicing up the meat loaf. Sydney groaned, seeing the moist meat on her plate. She didn’t want to be here right now—certainly not eating that. Her house had become this silent, half-living thing. She could predict exactly what would happen over dinner.
Her dad would serve the food. He’d pour the drinks. He’d try to make small talk with his wife until her cell would ring, or her email alert would go off. Then she’d bury herself back in her work, ignoring Mr. Howard and Sydney.
“Dad, I think I’m skipping dinner tonight.”
He pushed his glasses back. “You have to eat.”
“But not meat loaf.” And not at the table, either. She’d take her food to her room. At least there she’d have the TV to keep her company instead of two bodies that moved and breathed but had somehow forgotten how to communicate.
“Well,” her dad said, “I haven’t gotten groceries yet, so there isn’t much else.”
Sydney opened the fridge. There was leftover spaghetti from three nights ago on the top shelf. Grapes and sour cream were on the second. She grabbed a carton of blueberry yogurt and read the expiration date in the fridge’s light. OCT 10. Way overdue for the trash can.
Throwing the yogurt away, she went on to the cupboards and found them in the same sad shape.
Correction: Her house had become this silent, half-living, empty thing.
The thought of spending her Saturday night like this made Sydney want to cry for another two hours. Or sleep for a month.
“I’m going to Alexia’s,” she announced. There was always food at Alexia’s. She got the groceries herself and her food tastes were the same as Sydney’s, which meant lots of junk food.
“All right, then,” Mr. Howard said. “Drive carefully. Love you.”
“Love you, too.” She glanced at her mother. “Bye, Mom.”
Mrs. Howard’s fingers tapped incessantly on the laptop keyboard. A deep frown etched her forehead into wrinkles. She didn’t look up as she said, “Bye, honey.”
Sydney rolled her eyes and left.
The first thing Sydney noticed when she walked in the front door of Alexia’s house was the smell of something burning, then the scent of cinnamon and apples. She ran through the house, checking every room until she got to the sunroom. There were candles all over the place and a fire burned in a big blue roasting pan that her friends sat around.
Sydney froze over the threshold and took it all in. “Are you guys practicing witchcraft or something?”
They all looked at her and laughed.
“Yes, we’re putting a hex on Drew,” Raven said.
“Don’t do that!” Sydney shouted, hurrying into the room. Not that she believed in witchcraft or magic or anything. She was all about science and facts, but with Raven, anything was possible.
A boy Raven really liked dumped her in middle school and, to retaliate, she bought a spell book from a used bookstore and cursed him. The next day at school, he fell in a mud puddle before lunch and then sprained his ankle in gym class. If she were being honest, Sydney found it a little suspicious.
“She was kidding,” Alexia said. “Raven.”
“What?”
Raven was always goading Sydney. If anyone was a pain in her butt it was Raven, but she loved the girl. It was like having a love/hate relationship with the sister she never had but always wanted. Being an only child sucked. Sometimes.
Pulling her coat off, Sydney sat on one of the pillows in front of the roasting pan and peered inside. Pictures crinkled from the fire. There was a sock smoldering and a T-shirt burning in two places.
The burning smell was coming from the pot, and the apple and cinnamon must have been the red candles around the room.
“So what exactly are you doing?”
“Laying The Ex to rest.” Kelly licked her glossed lips. Sydney would bet the lip gloss was chocolate flavored. It was Kelly’s way of satisfying her sweet tooth without eating too many calories. “Did you come to lay Drew to rest?”
Sydney got that weak, tingling feeling in her throat as if she were about to cry. She swallowed hard and pulled a breath in through her nose. Why hadn’t he called her? He never went this long without returning her phone calls. She felt helpless and restless. She just wished she could fix it, like now.
Raven held up a tombstone-shaped piece of paper that had Drew’s name on it. “We wouldn’t leave you out of the fun. Here.”
Sydney took the paper. “This is dumb.” She stood up.
“Sit down,” Alexia said. “You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to.”
“We aren’t technically broken up yet, you know.” But the more she talked about it the more she doubted her own words. They’d never fought like this before. Or uttered the “we’re done” words. They weren’t the on-again/off-again kind of couple.
And the longer the silence between them stretched, the more she began to believe they were, in fact, broken up. It seemed wrong, though, to burn a tombstone with his name on it. Doing so might jinx them and they’d never get back together even if there was a chance.
Tears started beneath her lids and a few slid out. Darn it, crying again? And in front of her friends?
“Why don’t you keep it for now?” Alexia said. “If you get back together, throw it away. If…well, just keep it.”
Sydney nodded and slid the paper in her purse. She’d throw it away when she got home, after she finally talked to Drew. Because he had to call, didn’t he?
EIGHT
Rule 10: Do not think about your past with The Ex. If you feel yourself thinking about it, snap a rubber band against your wrist.
Raven pulled her crumpled schedule out of her jeans pocket to check her next class. It was the first Monday after the breakup and the first day of the new semester at school. Could things get any worse?
Yes, they could, if she had any classes with Caleb. Hopefully, her day would be Caleb-free.
She perused her schedule. The only thing that’d crossed over from last semester was band. Next hour was US History.
Boy did that sound like fun. Yeah, right.
Although, she had to admit, it was kind of sexy that George Washington was a colonel in the US Army and led 300 men by his early twenties. There was just something about a man in a position of power. Like Caleb being the captain of the football team.
“Aw, crap,” she muttered, remembering the breakup and The Code.
I just broke a rule, she thought.
Which rule was it? She pulled her new Breakup Code journal out of her locker. She’d bought the white notebook yesterday at the dollar store then decorated the cover with some of her mom’s scrapbooking stuff.
She’d cut a cardstock heart in half and glued that on the front. Then, using a purple acid-free marker she wrote, The Breakup Code in curvy letters. It was simple but cool.
Inside the front cover, with the same purple marker, she’d copied the code. Running down it now with her finger, she stopped at Rule 10. Do not think about your past with The Ex. If you feel yourself thinking about it, snap a rubber band against your wrist.
After checking her backpack and her locker, she came up empty-handed, which wasn’t surprising. She hardly ever wore her hair up. It was either messy and down or half up in a barrette. She always thought her ears looked too big when she wore her hair in a ponytail.
“Hey,” Kelly said, coming up behind Raven, green plastic bangle bracelets clanking on her wrists.
“I broke a rule,” Raven said, slamming her locker
shut as Sydney sidled up. “I need a rubber band to snap when I think of Caleb.”
Sydney leaned against the bank of lockers, hugging her bag to her chest. “The only one I have, I’m using,” she said, as she tucked a loose strand of black hair behind her ear. She pursed her thin lips, which accentuated her high cheekbones.
It was unlike Sydney to look so disheveled for school. Not only was her hair in a bumpy ponytail, but she had on sweatpants and a hoodie. There was nothing wrong with that; Raven saw Sydney in those clothes all the time, but out of school. In school, she was strict with her appearance and wore polos and sweaters and stuff. As if college recruiters were lurking around every corner waiting to catch her out of the prim character she portrayed at Birch Falls High.
“I have one,” Kelly said. “I bought us all special rubber bands, actually. For this very rule, since it seemed absolutely impossible not to think about The Ex.” She pulled a small Wal-Mart bag from her purse and dug inside. She handed a green hair tie to Raven. “Here.”
Raven took it. There were four-leaf clovers printed on the thick material.
“For good luck,” Kelly added.
“Right.” Raven slid the hair tie on her wrist and pulled it back, then let it go. “Ahh, God, that flippin’ hurts.” She rubbed the already red skin.
“I know,” Kelly said. “I’ve already snapped it like fifteen times since Saturday. But I think it’s starting to work.”
Sydney snorted and pushed away from the lockers, straightening her back. “You’re going to have welts if you keep doing that.”
“Not if I stop thinking about He-Who-Shall-Remain Nameless,” Kelly said. “Which is the point, right?”
“I guess.”
“Here, I have one for you, too.”
Sydney took her rubber band and shoved it in her pocket.
“You talk to Drew yet?” Raven asked tentatively. Guessing by Sydney’s bad attitude and appearance, she probably hadn’t.
“I’m going to talk to him today,” Sydney said matter-of-factly. “He just needed time to cool off.”
“Yeah.” Raven wished Sydney would just open her eyes and see the truth. They were broken up and, from the sounds of it, Drew was in no hurry to make amends.
“I should probably go before the bell rings.” Sydney hoisted her bag higher on her shoulder. “See you guys later.” She headed in the opposite direction and disappeared around a corner.
“I gotta go, too, see you at lunch?” Kelly said, veering off in another direction.
“Yeah, see ya.”
Raven headed for the C hallway where the history classrooms were and nearly ran into someone as she rounded the corner.
“Oh!” the girl said, then, “Ray-Ray! I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”
“Hey, Lori,” Raven said.
“I heard what happened at Craig’s party the other night.” Lori scrunched up her nose as she pulled on her long, sandy-brown braid hanging down her shoulder. “Sometimes my brother can be such a jerk.”
Raven shrugged. She totally agreed, but she didn’t feel like discussing Caleb right now or his lack of respect. Especially with his little sister. Lori was a good friend of Raven’s, but Lori had a hard time keeping anything from Caleb. Those two were practically best friends, which was way weird if you asked Raven.
“Anyway,” Lori said as Raven started to edge away. “I wanted to know if you could make a quick appearance at Simon’s bar mitzvah reception this weekend. He totally wants you there. You know how Simon is. He’s in love with you.”
“I don’t know.” Raven shifted her weight from foot to foot. The bell was going to ring any second. “I don’t know if it’d be a good idea.”
Lori swatted the air. “Are you kidding? It’s fine. Caleb is supposed to leave around six to go home to let the dogs out. You could come at six, say hi to Simon, and then bolt.” She stepped closer and lowered her voice. “Do it for Simon, please?”
Raven was starting to feel coaxed, but she wasn’t sure how to get herself out of it. Simon did seem to look up to her for some insane reason. Caleb always said Simon had a crush on her. She hated to let him down.
“Okay. A quick appearance, but I do not want to see Caleb.”
Lori nodded emphatically. “Totally. I’ll make sure he isn’t there.”
The bell rang overhead. Raven scowled at the annoying sound and the tardy that was sure to come.
“Oh, better go!” Lori hurried off, waggling her fingers over a shoulder. “I’ll talk to you later.”
“Yeah, okay,” Raven muttered and ran to her history class.
The teacher, Mr. Banner, pushed his glasses back by the nose bridge and eyed Raven with irritation. “You’re tardy.”
“Sorry. First day, you know?” She shrugged and flashed the smile her dad had paid a fortune for.
Mr. Banner tipped his head toward the classroom. “Sit down.”
She breathed a sigh of relief. She hated to start the new semester off with a tardy on her record. Two tardies earned you a detention, and Raven hated detentions. She’d had her fair share last semester because Caleb always made her late. The good thing about that, though, was he usually served detentions with her and they’d pass notes to each other.
Raven scanned the room for an available seat and saw one near the back. She moved to take it but froze when she noticed the person sitting in the next desk over.
Horace.
Her heart went from a silent-and-steady beat to a loud hammering in only two seconds. Suddenly she felt light-headed and clammy all over. This kind of thing never happened to her. Usually she was all confident and casual around guys. What was it about Horace?
She hesitated at the front of the room, searching for another empty seat even though she knew there wasn’t one. Why did this room have so few desks? Her last-hour English class had five empty seats, giving people the option to choose.
“If you’ll sit down,” Mr. Banner said, “we’ll get started.”
Raven muttered, “Sorry,” again, and hurried down an aisle of desks to slide in the empty one. The chair squeaked. She crossed one leg over the other and tried to regain her bearings.
“The spots you’re all in now,” Mr. Banner said, his voice loud and commanding, “will be your seating arrangements until further notice.”
Several girls near the windows smiled and turned to their friends sitting next to them. Raven slid a glance to her left and looked at Horace. He smiled that sheepish grin of his and ran a hand through his messy reddish-blond hair.
His lip was still swollen and cracked from Caleb’s punch, but it looked like it was healing. A knot of guilt settled in Raven’s stomach and she quickly looked away.
She was used to being the center of attention, especially where guys were concerned. But she’d never seen someone get punched because of her. She used to like flirting with guys just to see what they’d do, but Horace…somehow that had gone all wrong.
She’d lost control of the situation somewhere, probably when they’d kissed on the bus. She still couldn’t figure out what had gotten into her. Now she had to defuse the situation before it blew up in her face.
Alexia loved books, which meant she loved the library. It was her favorite place to be. The high school library, the public library, it didn’t really matter which library. They were all great.
So, when she got her schedule that morning and saw that finally she’d gotten the library assistant position as her fourth-hour elective, she was ecstatic. One whole hour of school spent in the library? Going through books, checking out books, reading back-cover copy? Could school get any better than that?
No, it couldn’t.
Except, when she pulled back one of the double doors of the library and went around the front counter to announce her arrival to the librarian, she ran into Ben Daniels.
On first glance, she thought it was Will. They were identical twins, both with chestnut-brown hair, moss-green eyes, and a strong chin, but it only took a second glanc
e to see all the other differences.
Will always combed his hair down, nice and neat. He wore button-up shirts and polos and jeans and khakis. Ben, on the other hand, wore cargo pants most of the time. Even now, in the dead of winter. His hair was uncut and unkempt, curling around his ears and down the back of his neck.
Ben was Will on a bad day.
“Hey,” he said, his voice slightly hoarse. “Alexia, right?”
The bell rang and Alexia dropped her bag on a chair. “Yes.”
He leaned an arm on the counter and crossed his legs at the ankles. “Do people call you Al?”
Sometimes her friends shortened her name, but it wasn’t like it was a nickname or anything.
“No.”
“Lexy?”
“No.”
“Alex?”
Sighing, she sat down. “Just Alexia, thanks.” Where was the librarian? And why was Ben here? He wasn’t an assistant, too, was he?
Though she had no opinion of Ben—since she’d never really talked to him before—carrying on a conversation with him seemed traitorous. His twin brother just dumped her best friend four days ago. Wasn’t Ben kind of guilty by association?
“Alexia, then,” he said, and sat in the chair next to her. He slouched a bit, his long legs spread out in front of him. “I’m Benjamin, but people call me Jamin.”
She snorted and glanced over at him. “They do not.”
He groaned. “All right, so they don’t. But it’d be cool if they did.”
A smile crossed her face but she quickly squashed it. “I’ll call you Ben, if I need to call you.”
“I suppose you’ll be calling me a lot when you fall head over heels in love with me. Yeah,” he slouched more and slung his arm over the back of the chair, “the ladies really like me, so I hear. I can’t blame them. What with my wit and stunning good looks.”