by Bethany-Kris
“Andino,” Dante warned.
He never took his gaze off the Calabrese men.
“It’s not a promise,” Andino said, “it’s a fucking guarantee. Test me.”
Kev only smiled in that fucking way of his again. “Oh, I don’t think we need to worry about that now, Andino. As Darren said, we believe the issue will correct itself from here on out. We handled that.”
Yes, but what did that mean?
Andino didn’t think he would like it, but he was going to have to find out.
Not right now, though.
Kev gestured at the bar. “A drink?”
Andino wanted to say no.
Dante answered for him, instead. “Sure, a drink sounds fine.”
They were still playing nice, it seemed. Andino was really getting sick and tired of this bullshit. His time for playing nice was just about over.
FOURTEEN
“Haven, let me in. Come on, baby, please.”
The banging on the door continued. Even as she ignored Andino’s pleas. Even as his fist came down harder on the wood. Even as he begged for her to talk to him for even a minute. No, she ignored him.
Well, she tried.
It was fucking hard.
She pressed her back harder against the door, and stared up at the ceiling. She tried to daze out from his voice so that her heart didn’t have to hear him speaking. So it would stop beating so fucking fast and wish, wish, wishing she would answer him back.
It was so goddamn traitorous.
This heart of hers hurt.
She squeezed her eyes shut, and thought about plugging her ears. Then, this stupid soul of hers that wanted this man so badly would stop twisting and burning and trying to tear its way out of her fucking body just to get to him.
Why?
That’s what she kept asking herself: why.
Why, after all he had done to her, did she still love him? Why couldn’t she just walk away from the door, and turn off all the lights? Why couldn’t she even pretend like she didn’t give a shit about him?
The paper cardstock with its fancy script, and a woman’s name under Andino’s announcing their marriage should have been enough. That should have been her hard fucking limit. Her no more, we’re so fucking done.
They should be done.
She had every reason to be done!
And yet, it was him and his voice in her head. It was her, and her stupid heart and her weak soul breaking.
Fractured, and ruined, and entirely gone.
Gone, now, because she’d given it to him. Oh, sure, she’d tried to take it back. But fuck all of him because he still had it. She didn’t even own herself anymore. Surely not her love. That was all his, and look at what he’d done with it.
Look at how he lied. How he hurt. Look at what he did to her.
“Go away, Andino,” Haven mumbled against the palms of her hands.
She hated that she cried. Hated that her face was streaked with hot tears, and her palms tasted like salt under her lips. She hated that somehow, she had allowed a man to have this kind of control over her.
This was not her.
This was some awful, horrible version of her.
This was his version of her.
She hated it.
His banging continued.
So did his voice.
“Just go away!”
“Please, Haven … please. Let me in; let me talk—something.”
Go, she wanted to scream. Go, go, just fucking go. That awful, horrible part of her screamed, stay, please, stay.
“Haven, just open the fucking door!”
“Go away.”
“Open the door!”
“Go.”
“You think I won’t break this fucking thing down, baby? You think I won’t move heaven and hell for you? You think you know what I did? You don’t know anything—you can’t because I couldn’t let you. Let me explain, please.”
Maybe it was his whole you don’t know anything that pushed her over the edge. Maybe that was what made her so fucking angry that her vision blackened, and her breaths stopped altogether.
She didn’t know?
She was living it.
“Haven, just—”
She pushed away from the door fast, and spun around to throw it open. Andino’s hand was already raised to knock again when the door flew wide. He looked wild. Probably a hell of a lot like she looked in those moments.
Messy, and crazed.
Pissed.
“I don’t know?” she all but screamed at him. “I fucking know!”
Haven threw the invitation at him. It bounced off his still-as-stone chest, and fell to the threshold of the doorway keeping the only distance between them.
She’d been holding the invitation ever since a man knocked on her door, and handed it over with a sadistic smile after he introduced himself as Darren Calabrese. The last name rung a bad bell for Haven, but the first name … she didn’t know it at all.
It didn’t matter.
The invitation had been enough.
On the ground, the invitation stayed where it had fallen, untouched and unwanted. By her, anyway. It being there—and too close—was enough to taunt her.
Andino still hadn’t said anything. He didn’t move, or even glance away from her. Certainly not to look down at the invitation on the ground. That was enough to tell her he didn’t actually have to look at it.
He knew exactly what was on it. He knew the words she had read again and again while willing them to disappear, or be some kind of cruel joke. He didn’t have to pick up the invitation to know anything about it at all.
Haven didn’t give a single shit how she looked standing there in nothing but an over-sized T-shirt, and very little else. She hadn’t been expecting anyone to show up, but least of all this man. He always was a little too goddamn cocky for his own good.
Finally, he spoke.
A second too late, and dollar short.
“It’s not what you think.”
Haven barked out a bitter laugh, and wiped the stray tears from her cheeks. “It’s exactly what I think it is, Andino. You’re getting married.”
“It appears like—”
“Married!”
Andino glanced away, and shook his head. “You’ve got to let me talk for five seconds. Just let me talk, Haven.”
No. She really didn’t want to hear anything he had to say at all.
“Was it all this time? Was this happening since the beginning?”
Her voice came out raspy and aching. That happened when you cried this hard; when you hurt this much.
Andino’s jaw ticked. “You know better than that.”
“Fuck you,” Haven spat. “I don’t know anything about you at all. You’ve shown me that time and time again. When someone shows you who they are, believe them. Right? That’s how the saying goes. My fucking mistake, Andino. It won’t happen again.”
Taking a wide step back, she grabbed the edge of the door and prepared to slam it closed. He could stay right where he was for all she gave a damn. Far away from her, and on the outside of her life. Forever.
“Go away, and stay gone,” she told him.
She swung the door to close it, but no fucking surprise, Andino was there to stop it. His hand crashed into the door, and pushed it open hard. The force was enough to make Haven stumble in an effort to move away fast enough so that it didn’t hit her.
The fucking asshole.
“Get out!” she screamed.
If he heard her—and there was no way he didn’t—Andino acted like she didn’t say a thing. He slammed that door behind him, and swung around on her. Haven was already reacting; her emotions hit their limit.
She broke.
Her palm connected with his face with a slap that echoed and sent his head snapping to the side. The red imprint of her hand left behind said he had to feel it, and all Haven felt was the greatest sense of satisfaction at that fact.
Good.
He should feel it.
Like she did.
Andino sucked air in through his teeth that sounded like a hiss before his hands were on her. One grabbing firmly to her waist, and the other curving around her neck. She couldn’t even protest before his lips crashed against his.
She didn’t want to respond. She wanted to push him away, and hit him again. Yet, her anger was only stroked tenderly from a small flame into a raging inferno with his kiss. The rage wrapped tightly around the lust and love she always felt for this man whenever he was near.
His kiss was not like it used to be, though. It was something wilder—something more desperate. Hard enough to hurt, and crazy enough to take her breath away. His fingers dug into the back of her neck like his hand on her waist, and he dragged her impossibly closer.
If he wasn’t such a good liar, she might think he was trying to give her his soul with that kiss. Like he was offering it in bleeding, blackened hands for her to take.
Except he was who he was.
She believed nothing.
“I love you,” he said hoarsely when he finally pulled away. “I love you so fucking much, Haven. I love you too much. I love you enough to destroy everything, but you don’t know that at all because I haven’t been able to tell you. I love you, woman. Let me explain—let me show you. Don’t you get it? Just let me—”
Sure, and quiet, and strong, Haven whispered, “You don’t love me at all. Love doesn’t do these things to someone else. This isn’t love.”
“Haven.”
God, why did he have to sound like that?
Fuck him.
“What you’ve done to us is not love,” she said, refusing to budge even an inch. She was not going to give him that, not for this. “You’re not love.”
“Haven, listen to me.”
“There’s nothing to listen to because there’s nothing to say.”
“There is!”
Haven shook her head slowly. They were so close that she could see the darker flecks of green and gold in his eyes. God, she had loved those eyes of his once. Loved how they seemed to only see her even in a room full of others. Deep, and expressive. Even when the rest of him was as cold as ice.
But right now?
She didn’t love them at all.
A lot like him.
All she wanted to do in that moment was hurt him in the way he had hurt her. Make him feel the same kind of pain, or even a fraction of it so that maybe he could understand the hell he had created in her life. She was fine before him; she was going to be fine after this man, too.
Haven kissed him again. The same way he’d kissed her—like the world was gone, and she was handing her sound over with every stroke of their lips, and tangle of their tongues. She kissed him like nothing else mattered, and nothing ever would.
Because it would be the last time. That was her promise.
She was going to use him like he’d used her time and time again. She wasn’t going to regret it for even a second—nothing after everything.
Haven reached for Andino’s pants, and it was the only time he hesitated to answer her back. His wariness lasted as long as it took for her to get his pants undone, and slip her hands beneath the waistband. She found his cock hard, and heavy inside his briefs. Against her lips, he grunted out her name followed by a soft apology as she stroked him with a tight fist.
That apology only pissed her off more.
It was enough to make her want to hit him again, but she didn’t even have time for that before Andino was lifting her against the wall. His mouth attacked the column of her neck—tasting and kissing all those spots he knew she loved—as she wrapped her legs around his waist.
The hard ridge of his erection pressed against the thin fabric of her panties. Damp panties. She was already wet, ready to take him, and willing to so they could finally be done with this dance that had been going on between them for far too long. Unashamed, she arched her body against his, and used the grinding of her hips to ease some of the ache between her thighs by rubbing against his dick.
Flames licked at her body with every touch of his mouth or hands against him. His palms slipped under that too-large T-shirt, and found her bare breasts. Haven tipped her head back, and let out a hard gasp when his thumbs and forefingers tweaked her hard nipples. His tongue lapped at the hollow of her throat, his hips flexed forward to grind his cock against her wet panties, and she was flying.
For a second, she did forget how much she hurt, and all the things this man had done to her. Even through her lustful haze, she could feel how frantic and desperate they were in their movements. Shaking hands, and hard breaths. Hard kisses, and stinging bites.
Haven all but blinked, and Andino was moving them again. His fingers dug into her ass as he moved into the kitchen. Her backside came to rest on the counter, and he spread her thighs wide. He only let her go long enough to peel those panties down her thighs. He wasted no time—there was no slowness in his actions. He loved to tease her, but not today.
His mouth was back on hers when he shoved his pants down. Then, his hands were on her thighs again to squeeze tight, and widen them until her muscles protested and her bones ached.
But fuck her, because she loved it.
“Just fuck me, and be done with it,” she rasped.
Done with her.
With them.
Just done.
“Fuck,” Andino snarled when his cock was right there. All it took was one hard flex of his hips, and he was buried deep in her slick cunt. Sensitive flesh became all that much more tender as he filled her full, pulled back out, and then slammed right back in again. Another brutal thrust came right after that one, and then again. Until he was just pounding into her with a tempo that drove her insane. “Look at me … look at me.”
She didn’t.
Couldn’t.
Instead, she watched his cock slide through the wet lips of her pussy until his hand curved around her throat, and he forced her head back. Like this, she was forced to stare into those eyes again. She was forced to see things she didn’t want to.
“Hate you,” she breathed.
Andino’s fingers tightened. “Don’t.”
“I hate you.”
If anything, he just fucked her harder for that. Haven wished she could say that she didn’t like it, but that would have been a lie. She loved it.
She raked lines over his back with her fingernails, and dug her heels into his back to force him closer. Even as she wanted him gone, she needed more of him, then, too.
She was such a fucking mess.
“Don’t,” he said again, shoving her head back against the cupboard. “Don’t you ever lie to me.”
Haven laughed breathlessly. “Like you do to me?”
She was so close to coming it was crazy. Almost at the edge, and ready to jump the hell off. Her nerves snapped with every meet of their hips. Trembling like a fucking leaf, and aching between her thighs.
His fingers dug in again, and he kissed her before biting down on her bottom lip. The shock of pain was enough to finally do it. It sent her tumbling over the cliff of bliss. The orgasm ravaged her senses, and made her numb to everything else.
She felt him grunt, and two hard thrusts later, empty himself deep inside her cunt, too.
Haven breathed.
She took a second, and just breathed.
Then, quietly, she said, “Now, please go.”
The devil wasn’t a man with red skin, hooves for feet, and horns on his head. No, the devil was the most handsome, charming man with hands that could make a woman sing, and lies on the tip of his tongue. The devil was a man who made her want to die for him, but all he did was fucking kill her instead. And he did it without a second thought, or regret. He did it unashamed of the heartache he caused.
He was sin, sure, but pain, too. He was not what the devil should be, but he was still his own kind of hell. He burned like it, too.
And right then, she was staring him straight in the face.
/> Andino, only a breath from her and trembling from head to toe, looked like agony materialized into a being. He looked like pain in the flesh, but she couldn’t believe it. She couldn’t believe anything from him anymore.
“I can’t go until you let me explain,” he finally said.
Haven shook her head. “That’s the thing—I don’t want you to anymore.”
“That’s not fair.”
Life wasn’t fair.
Nothing ever was.
“You’re so good at this,” she whispered.
Things that loved you shouldn’t hurt you. Things you loved shouldn’t hurt you. That wasn’t how this was supposed to work. He needed to understand that.
“Haven, please—”
“You’re so good at hurting me, Andino, but I don’t want to be hurt anymore, okay? I don’t want to hurt.”
“I’m sorry.”
“No, you’re not.”
“I am.”
Haven shook her head, and more tears slipped from her eyes. The ache between her thighs, and his cock still hard and heavy there would have usually meant satisfaction and love. Right then, it only felt like shame and sadness.
“Just …” Haven dragged in a hard, ragged breath. “Just leave. Just go, please.”
His hands on her thighs gripped tighter. Like he wasn’t going to let her go for anything. His fingers were going to leave bruises, but she couldn’t find it in herself to care about that. For now, she just needed to get this man away from her.
She’d wanted him close; now she needed him to go.
“You won’t even let me explain,” he uttered through a clenched jaw with his eyes blazing. “Let me fucking explain. This is not what you think it is, I swear it isn’t.”
“It’s just another thing on an already huge pile, Andino. Please go.”
“Baby—”
“The club is sold. The house is next to go. I’m leaving, and you’re going to let me. You’re going to stay far away from me in the meantime. You’re going to do that, Andino, because I want you to. Do you understand?”
“Haven.”
Saturating his voice was pain. She was almost happy about that. She took a small sense of satisfaction in the fact that just maybe this man might understand all the hell he had put her through.
But who knew?