I looked at her, aghast. "You can't go leaping to conclusions like that."
"But if you did try to kill yourself, it's true, isn't it?"
"Look, I still haven't remembered anything about how I got shot, but there is something I know, and that is that I love you. I love you more than anything. I wouldn't do anything to hurt you, and I'd never leave you for any reason whatsoever." I lifted her chin so our eyes met. "You said I haven't changed, that I'm the same as I was before I got shot. That means I loved you back then the same as I do now."
She was still torn by doubts.
I grabbed her shoulders. "You have to believe that, okay? Don't go tearing yourself apart by listening to those 'what if' doubts. You have to let them go."
"I want to, but..."
"Promise me you'll try."
"Okay."
I took her hand and pulled her to her feet. "Come on, I'll help you make dinner."
We set about preparing the dinner, though our normal light hearted teasing and banter was noticeably absent. Every now and then, Nanako would fall still and stare blankly at the wall as her mind slipped back into a fearful rut. Each time it happened, I encouraged her with a hug, a touch on her hand, or a kind word.
But the fact was, I was disturbed by the same fears and doubts that assailed her. Had I really attempted suicide? Had things really become so bleak, so hopeless, that I had done the unthinkable, even willing to abandon my young wife?
If I could only retrieve my missing memories, we could be done with all this guesswork and worry!
* * *
We'd just finished the most nutritious meal we'd had for a week, thanks to the market re-opening today, when I heard the sound of two familiar pairs of runners tramping towards our flat.
A moment later there was a knock at the door. I opened it to reveal David and Shorty.
"Not interrupting something, are we?" David asked politely.
"Doesn't matter if we are, we got intel," Shorty said, smiling from ear to ear.
"No, in fact, I was about to ring you both and invite you over," I said as I led them to the dining room table. I grabbed two weathered plastic chairs from the balcony so Nanako and I could join them. Nanako went off to get tea while the rest of us sat.
"So what's this intel?" I prompted.
"The Recycling-Works re-opened today, as you know," David began, "And we got a special order from the primary automotive factory."
"And?"
"You should have seen the security involved in makin' the delivery!" Shorty said.
"Apparently, the factory was taken over by Custodians the day after we got back from Hamamachi," David explained. "I don't know what they're doing in there, but it's locked tight, with Custodians guarding the building twenty-four seven."
"What'd ya reckon they're doing in there, Jones?" Shorty asked.
Nanako brought over a tray laden with cups of tea. She handed them out and joined us, though she didn't appear to have heard anything we'd said so far.
"The Custodians are preparing a cruise missile with a nuclear warhead to fire at Hamamachi," I replied matter-of-factly.
Nanako dropped her cup with a loud gasp, spilling burning hot tea all over her saucer and the aluminium dining table. "What?" she gasped.
"How do you know this, Jones, or are you just guessing?" David demanded.
"I was given this information by a reliable source this afternoon. The Custodians had two cruise missiles – you know, from the sub – but they've had to cannibalise one to fix the other," I said.
"This is terrible – we have to do something immediately!" Nanako said, tripping over her words in her haste to speak.
"I agree, but what?" I said, feeling helpless.
"What if we steal the nuke and hide it somewhere?" Shorty suggested.
"It weighs over 250kg. Presuming we can sneak into the factory, how are we gonna get it past the Custodians?" I asked.
"What if you dismantle or destroy the detonator like you did in Hamamachi?" Nanako asked.
I had no idea, so I looked at David for the answer, but he was avoiding eye contact and appeared overly anxious for some reason. "David?"
"Yeah?" he practically gasped. "Oh, sorry, no, they'll just build another one."
"Can you destroy the nuke itself?" Shorty asked.
Again nothing from David – what was with him tonight? "David?" I prompted.
"Eh? Sorry, no, not without proper equipment and I seriously doubt such equipment exists in Newhome."
"I know – let's ask the Custodians very politely not to use it?" Shorty suggested.
"Now why didn't I think of that?" I chuckled. "You got any ideas, David?"
"Well, this is only a temporary solution, but we could destroy the cruise missiles," he answered.
"Won't they just build another one?" Nanako asked.
"They don't have the knowledge or the necessary components – that'd be why they've had to cannibalise one to fix the other," David explained.
"We have to do this tonight, then," Nanako said, her dark brown eyes wide with worry.
"No!" David practically squeaked. "I mean, we can't do it tonight – a mission like this requires meticulous planning, right?"
"But..." Nanako objected.
"David's right," I interrupted, "Before we go rushing off half-cocked, we need to have a getaway plan in place, because we can't stay here if we blow up the missiles. The Custodians will turn over every stone in the town trying to find us afterwards."
"But if we sneak in and out, they won't know it was us who did it," Shorty said.
"We have to assume they'll work it out," I said. "So we need to escape from Newhome as soon as we've done the deed. Any ideas as to how we can do that?"
"The secret entrances have magnetic locks. Give me a day and I'll make a key that can open them," David suggested.
"And if Custodians are guarding the gates?" Nanako asked.
"We get Jones to pop 'em," Shorty said gleefully.
"Absolutely not!" I exclaimed.
"So we just walk up to them and ask if we can leave?"
"We'll have to cross that bridge when we get to it, Shorty," I replied. Perhaps we could sneak up on the Custodians guarding the gate and overpower them.
"So if we can't do it tonight, when will we do it?" Nanako asked.
"Tomorrow night," I replied, my heart racing as the enormity of what we were planning began to hit home. "Let's meet out the back of my apartment at two am."
"We won't be going up against any Hamamachi Rangers, right?" Shorty asked suddenly. "'Cause if we are, you can count me out."
"Nope, just Custodians, if that," I said.
After that, we fell to discussing the nitty gritty aspects of our assault on the primary automotive factory and subsequent escape from the town. I noticed Nanako zoned out immediately. She was staring into space with a troubled expression framing her face. No doubt her mind had fallen prey once again to entertaining the fear that I hadn't loved her as much as she thought I had back in 2120.
That Nanako was in such a state when we were going to attempt to destroy the two cruise missiles was unbelievably bad timing. And Nanako wasn't the only one who concerned me. David was exceptionally jittery tonight and seemed anxious to leave. I wondered what was going on with him.
* * *
Nanako was even worse the next morning, but she still dragged herself out of bed to make breakfast. When we sat down to eat, she just picked at her bread and yogurt salad.
I wanted to stay home and help her get through this by going for walks and gardening together, mostly because I couldn't bear to see her like this, but also because she needed to be in top form for our mission tonight. If she slipped up on the mission because she couldn't concentrate, she'd put her life – all of our lives – at risk. However, with the burden thrown on my shoulders to train Delta Company so they could take on the Skel, there was no way I’d be allowed to stay home today.
I tried to persuade her to go to my mother’s place so she wou
ldn’t be alone, but she didn’t reply. In the end, I had to rush off to work, but felt like an absolute heel for leaving her alone in such a condition.
* * *
When I got home at six, anger coursed through me when I saw anti-Japanese vitriolic graffiti scrawled all over our front door. I ignored it and fitted my key to the door, hoping to find Nanako in better condition than she'd been in this morning – psyched and ready to go on the mission to save Hamamachi.
But my hopes were dashed the moment I entered the flat and found it plunged in semi-darkness. No lights were on and the curtains were drawn shut. Nanako’s untouched breakfast was still on the dining room table.
My first thought was that she could be at my parents, but then I heard her sobbing. Rushing further inside, I found her on the bed, curled up in a foetal position and rocking from side to side as she cried.
I sat on the bed and pulled her into my arms. "Oh Nana-chan, how long have you been like this? You should've called me."
She lay back against my chest and rested her head on my shoulder, but she didn't answer.
"Please forget what Tamura told you," I begged. "Y got to stop going back through your memories and re-evaluating them through this fearful perspective that I may not have loved you as much as you thought I did. You’re tearing yourself apart."
Figuring she never got around to eating or drinking today, I laid her back on the bed and fetched a glass of soymilk.
"Here, you have to drink this otherwise you’re gonna get dehydrated," I said gently. As expected, she didn’t respond, so I helped her sit and placed the glass to her lips, but she just buried her face in my neck. I put down the glass and held her, wondering what to do. There was no way she could go on the mission tonight unless I could help her out of this depressed state and get a healthy meal into her.
I decided to try and get her to do some physical activity to get her mind of her woes. I got her off the bed and then got her to help me prepare dinner, do the dishes, and even scrub down the linoleum floor in the kitchen. But in each case she kept stopping and staring blankly at the wall, or squatting down and hugging her knees.
I ate the dinner we cooked together, but she just sat opposite me and picked at her food. It tore me apart to see her in such a melancholic state, when she was usually so vibrant.
In the end I gave up trying to pull her out of it and let her return to bed, where I gave her the best leg massage ever, but even that didn't help. I had never seen her this ill before and it was breaking my heart. I guess this kind of behaviour was what Councillor Okada referred to when he said she wasn’t as tough as she seemed.
She fell asleep as night was settling in. I sat on the bed beside her and wondered what I should do, since she clearly couldn't go on the mission while in this condition. Should David, Shorty, and I go ahead with it without her, or should we postpone it until she was feeling better? On the other hand, how could I leave Nanako alone when she was so ill? Surely I should call off the mission for her sake. But what if we delayed too long and the Custodians fired the missile and wiped Hamamachi and its inhabitants off the map?
My thoughts were so preoccupied with Nanako and the enormity of whatever decision I'd make tonight that I almost didn't notice that someone was tapping frantically on the balcony door.
Thinking it must be two a.m. already, I glanced at the clock, which revealed it to be just on midnight.
I darted to the door and opened it, and was surprised to see Shorty standing there, panting as he tried to regain his breath. He had climbed up the back of the building to get to my balcony.
"David's gone and done something stupid again," he panted for breath.
"Oh, no, what's he done this time?" I asked, a sinking feeling in my gut. Last time David did something stupid, Leigh was put in prison and his girlfriend was executed.
"He's gone to the western secret door to let a squad of Hamamachi Rangers into town," he explained in a hurry.
Chapter Thirty-Two
"He's done what?"
"He's letting a squad of Rangers into town," he repeated.
"But why would he do that?" I asked angrily.
"All I know is that it's got something to do with Leigh," he replied. "When it got dark last night, David grabbed a torch and was going to go up to the roof, but he wouldn't let me go with him. When I got to work this morning, he'd already been there since six, working frantically on making that magnetic key you asked him to make. And then he was acting weird all evening, muttering about how he was gonna be 'free' after tonight. Twenty minutes ago he said he had to go and meet someone, and took his torch and the magnetic key he'd made. I tried to follow him, but when he finally admitted he had to let a squad of Rangers into town via the secret door in the western wall or they'd kill Leigh, I figured I'd better come get you."
I ran my hands through my hair in exasperation. "You did good, Shorty. Seems the Rangers have been in communication with David at night, probably by Morse code. But how did they get in touch with him? When did this start?"
"He hasn't been himself ever since we got back from Hamamachi," Shorty said.
"Yeah, I noticed that too. They must have gotten to him when we were in Hamamachi."
"The question is, why do the Ranger's want to enter the town?" Shorty asked.
"The nuke," I said, "They've gotta be after the nuke."
"So what do we do?"
I looked at Shorty and then turned and studied Nanako's still form. I was torn in two. I wanted to stay with her, to comfort and watch over her till dawn. But if I didn't do something about David and these blasted Rangers, we may not see the dawn – any of us.
I could ring the Custodians and let them sort it out, but if they caught David they'd surely execute him as a traitor. And the squad of Rangers could be more than a match for any Custodians sent after them.
I hated having to make decisions like this! I grabbed Shorty by the shoulders. "Nanako's not well – you stay here and look after her. I've got to see if I can catch David before he lets them in."
"Gotcha," Shorty said, clearly relieved I wasn't asking him to go up against the Rangers again.
"But first, I gotta warn the Custodians about the danger to the nuke."
Shorty reached out a hand to stay me. "But what about David? What if the Custodians get to him before you do?"
"David made his own bed, now he'll have to lie in it," I snapped as I hurried to the phone and quickly dialled Custodian Command.
"Who is the ranking officer on duty?" I asked when a private answered the phone.
"Captain Smithson," he replied bluntly.
Now that was a stroke of luck. "This is Sergeant Ethan Jones. I need to speak to him immediately on a matter of utmost importance."
"Stand by," the private said, and I waited for what seemed an eternity for the captain to come to the phone.
"What is it, Jones?" he asked gruffly.
"Sir, I've just been informed that a squad of Rangers is about to enter the town – if they haven't already done so. I suspect the nuclear warhead to be their target."
"What nuclear warhead?"
"The one in the primary automotive factory that's being fitted to a cruise missile, sir."
The captain paused, making me wonder if he was even aware of the nuke. "Where is this information coming from, Jones? And how are these Rangers supposed to be getting into the town?"
"Through the western wall's secret entrance. I'll explain more later, but we must act immediately... "
"Who is letting them in?" the captain demanded harshly. "Is it your wife?"
"No, it's David Chen – he's been blackmailed by the Rangers somehow."
"When did you find out about this?" he demanded suspiciously.
"Literally a minute ago, sir."
"You've got a lot of explaining to do when this is all over," he spat angrily. "But in the meantime, I'm sending two squads to the secret entrance and I'll take the rest of the company to the factory."
"I'm going to the
secret entrance too – tell the squads to wait for me if they get there before I do," I said hurriedly. "And sir, be careful – these are Rangers – they're professional soldiers, not policemen."
The captain responded by hanging up – I don't think he was too pleased with me at the moment.
"Look after Nanako," I said to Shorty. I looked at my wife, fast asleep, and my heart went out to her. I wished I could stay, but I had to go.
* * *
I 'borrowed' a neighbour's bike and somehow got to the western wall before the Custodians, even though I had further to travel.
I rode through Hobsons Road to get to the wall, hopped off the bike, and with towering ten-story apartment blocks on my right and the twelve-foot town wall on my left, crept silently but quickly towards the gate. I was hoping against hope that I could spot David and that he hadn’t admitted the Rangers to the town yet. I wanted to sweep the entire area with ultrasonic shouts so I could see clearly, but as I was still inside Newhome, I didn't dare. I could set off who knew how many alarms and cause a dozen Custodians to come looking for me. So I'd have to rely upon my enhanced hearing and normal vision.
I soon reached the place where I remembered the door to be, but it was shut and flushed smooth with the wall. If I hadn’t known it to be there, I wouldn’t have spotted it.
There was no sign of David, nor of any Rangers, which could mean only one thing – they were already in the town.
I heard two G-Wagons approaching, so I sprinted up the street to meet them. They braked to a stop and Sergeant Xiao leaped out of the lead vehicle. "Any sign of them, sir?"
"Nope, they must already be in the town."
"Right, hop in then. There's reports of heavy fighting going down over at the automotive factory," he said as he opened the passenger door.
I clambered into the G-Wagon and sat beside two other members of Delta Company. We drove at break neck speeds through the residential zone and into the manufacturing zone, screeching to a stop beside a two-story factory that manufactured household appliances such as washing machines and dryers.
Forager - the Complete Trilogy (A Post Apocalyptic/Dystopian Trilogy) Page 43