by S. M. West
20
Sunday 10:52PM
Maggie
I take the stairs up to the loft. I couldn’t bring myself to take the elevator, in case I got the one with the bullet hole, the memory is still too fresh. I glance out the rain-dotted window on the second floor of the stairwell and see the rental car idling at the curb. Nick’s still here.
I could run out and tell him not to go. Ask him to come up and talk. I want to, but I shouldn’t. I’m finally free of him. Everything that happened over the past few days belongs in the past.
But why don’t I want Nick in my past? Even with the danger, he’s nothing like John. I believe he’s a good person. A kind soul.
God, do I have savior complex now? Or is it full-on Stockholm syndrome?
My forehead rests against the cold window and the car is still there. Is he as torn as I am about our farewell? And what do I even want from him? What could he possibly give me other than heartache? He betrayed me, for crying out loud!
I need my head examined. But it’s not my head that’s fucked, it’s my heart. Wrapped in barbed wire, my heart aches with every breath, at the thought of never seeing Nick again.
The car pulls from the curb, my heart spasms. He’s gone.
21
Monday 6:37PM
A week later
Nick
The next week is new, different, and not mine. My days and nights are Chin’s. It’s official. I’m his bitch.
He kept his end of the deal, and Drago is no longer a problem. He wasn’t pleased at first, but as anticipated, he agreed to Chin’s terms and he’s happy. Or as happy as the psycho will ever be, although he’s still out for Slaughter’s blood.
The stupid Brit’s in hiding. The streets aren’t safe, and I can’t wait to be done with this life. I owe Chin a few more weeks.
In between working around the clock and paying off my debt, I don’t have much time for anything else, but she’s never far from my thoughts. Some days, she’s all I think about.
I can still feel her in my arms. The way I held her in the shack and again when she cried in the hotel bed. Her soft, warm body finding comfort from me. Her silky hair against my skin.
I have to stop thinking about her. She’s better off without me, and I’m sure she wants nothing to do with me. Even knowing I need to stay away, I can’t. Since I dropped her at the loft over a week ago, I’ve checked on her daily, even going out of my way to drive by the Phoenix. That’s where I’m headed now.
I pull up in the piece of shit car Chin loaned me and park where I have a clear view into the garage, rolling down my window. It’s the end of the day, and only one guy is working on a vehicle. I scan the lot but don’t see her Chevelle and wonder if she already left.
The mechanic stands and shouts, “Maggie!”
In seconds, she appears with my best friend at her side, walking hand-in-hand toward the mechanic. Kit. Fucker.
She beams at Kit, talking animatedly to him before he pulls her into a bear hug, completely lifting her off the ground.
She laughs, and my chest and throat tighten, crushing all the air from me. I’ve never heard her laugh before. It’s a beautiful sound, but it’s not for me. She’s smiling and giggling at Kit.
The mechanic waits impatiently, hands on his hips, as they say goodbye. I watch the backstabber—Kit— leave with a silly-ass grin on his face.
With one final glance at Maggie hunched over the car, I track Kit’s every move to his car, and I follow him.
I storm into Kit’s place without knocking. “Why the fuck are you going over there?”
He tips his head in my direction like he’s expecting me. “Easy, Nick. How’s it going?”
His nonchalance only ratchets up my jealousy. “Fucking answer me. Now.”
“What are you talking about?” His fingers punch a few more keys on the laptop in front of him before looking at me.
“Maggie.” My frustration flares, fingers combing harshly through my messy hair. I’d spent the whole ride over rearranging every strand. I’m surprised I still have any. “Why are you hanging out with her?”
Listen to me. What am I? Fourteen years old?
“Jealous much?” A smug smile spreads across his face. Astute motherfucker.
“Cut the crap. Answer the question.”
“I like her,” he says matter-of-factly.
I want to destroy something, and his laid-back attitude isn’t helping. He stands as tall as a redwood, leaning casually against the wall.
“We’re friends, and she’s super smart about cars. She’s gonna help me find a ‘Vette and fix it up.” His eyes shine like the sun.
“You’re friends?” I cringe inwardly at my mocking tone.
“Why don’t you drop by the garage and talk to her?”
Isn’t he the ever-helpful friend? My fists curl; I seriously want to pummel something. Maybe his face.
“She’s moving past all the shit that went down. She gets it in some twisted way. She doesn’t hate you,” he says, like he’s delivering flowers to some lovesick fuck.
That does it. My control snaps, and I lunge for him. With my hands gripping the collar of his shirt, I shove him harshly against the wall.
A smirk slides across his face, and he doesn’t resist. Pressing my broad chest into his even bigger one, I glare at my friend.
I’m fascinated and infuriated that he even has an inkling of what Maggie thinks or feels about me, and about the messed-up shit I put her through.
“Don’t make me bitch-slap you.” Kit chuckles. “Find your balls and go talk to her. She wants to talk to you.”
“What do you mean?” I cock my head to one side, easing up on him.
“She asks about you.”
My heart jackhammers with this news. “She does?”
I hate that I even say anything and want to hear more. Shit, it is like we really are in high school.
He nods, and I release him. Straightening his shirt like it’s Armani, he grins with a sly glint in his eye.
“She wonders if you’ll come see her.” His grin widens. “If that doesn’t say she’s interested, I don’t know what does.”
I don’t have a response. Fuck, I’m a pussy.
“You should talk to her.” Kit’s enjoying this.
“Yeah, and have her attack me with those claws. Ah, no thanks.”
I’m lying. I’d take anything, claws and all, if she’d give me the time of day.
“I know what you’re doing.” He crosses his arms over his chest with a sober smirk.
“Really? And what would that be?” I slump in a chair, exhausted. My head and heart hurt, and I don’t know why. And most of all, I hate it.
“You’re staying away because you regret what you did—”
“Enough already. I’m very aware of what went down.”
“You’re punishing yourself.”
“Shut the fuck up and stop trying to shrink my head,” I scoff, narrowing my eyes at him.
“Nick, man, you like her. I’m not fucking blind, and she may even feel the same way.” Every word out of his mouth is both hope and misery, and I want him to shut up. “Maggie knows the shit you did wasn’t you.”
“The fuck are you talking about?”
“It’s just things she’s said. And you’re staying away to punish your ass for what you did, not only to Maggie but all of it.”
Now he’s talking about all my fuck-ups, and I don’t see the fucking comparison. And more importantly, Kit knows not to talk about this shit.
“Don’t do this, man.” Kit’s emphatic.
“Fuck you and your stupid-ass theories.” I bounce from the chair and stride out of his house, not stopping when he calls my name.
He doesn’t know what he’s talking about. I’m not punishing myself for Maggie and Léa. She’s better off without me.
22
Tuesday 9:37AM
Maggie
Kit Osborne’s wide, brawny frame lumbers from my garage and my
cheeks ache from the smile plastered on my face. He’s the brother I never had. Sweet, protective, and I can’t get enough of his big warm hugs. He’s everything John Slaughter isn’t.
“Are you serious about restoring any car I get?” He’s giddy.
“As long as it’s not a piece of garbage.” I smirk, poking his side.
Kit’s visited almost every day since we’ve been back. As predicted, no one missed me. My life went back to normal, and save for the rings scarring my left wrist and the incessant calls from Slaughter and Jesse, which I have no intention of returning, it’s as if nothing happened.
With Nick out of my life, I thought Kit was, too, until he came by one day with an apology, a brand-new set of Charles Dickens’s classics, and Chinese takeout.
I almost burst into tears at his kindness, and stupid as it was, I’d hoped Nick was with him. Of course, he wasn’t. Even though I shouldn’t be, I’m starved for any information on Nick.
It doesn’t matter if I’m working, surrounded by people, or alone, he consumes my thoughts. His warm demanding lips, his thumb circling the tender pulse point at the base of my neck. Flames ignite and simmer deep in my core at thoughts of him, of his touch. And I don’t know why I’m doing this to myself because we parted ways.
“Maggie.” My name sounds gruff and exasperated, as if whoever is calling me has been doing so for a while.
I turn around to see Jesse, my ex, standing before me. It’s been years since we’ve seen each other.
He looks the same, but different. Almost as wide and as muscled as Kit, but a few inches shorter. He’s covered in ink, and his brush cut is longer than I’m used to.
His dark green eyes gaze intensely at me. He used to steal my breath, but now, nothing. It’s funny how time truly can change things. Heal all wounds.
“Jesse, what are you doing here?”
“Gorgeous, it’s great to see you.” He steps closer. “You’re okay.”
A faint fluttering stirs in my stomach, muscle memory more than anything else. He is my first love. Phantom pains for what once was.
“Yes, and you knew I was fine.” Despite me never answering their calls, John had men make sure I was back in one piece. “Why are you here?”
“If you’d pick up the phone, I wouldn’t be.” His chastising tone grates on my nerves.
“You know you’re not welcome here, so why?” I’m losing patience.
He sighs. The first few years after I left him were rocky. Mad and reckless, Jesse would show up at my house, even when I was on dates. I kind of understood where he was coming from. He loved me, and I loved him, yet I walked. I had to.
“Maggie.” A deep rumbling voice sends shivers up my spine. Nick.
I suck in a breath at the ghost of a smile teasing his lush lips as he saunters toward us.
He’s here, dressed in a black suit, the two top buttons of his shirt undone and a purple tie loose around his neck. His dark hair is messy from the wind or his fingers, and he’s got a full five o’clock shadow at this time in the morning. Was he up all night?
Closer now, the telltale signs of fatigue are evident in the little lines on his forehead and his weary eyes.
“Nick.”
It comes out breathy with need, and Jesse clears his throat harshly.
“Fuck me, Maggie.” Jesse’s annoyance and incredulity break my stupor. “You’ve got to be kidding me. Fucking Prophet?”
Nick’s a foot away, his eyes on me, not once acknowledging Jesse.
“What?” My gaze drifts between the men—one I left behind and one I’m headed toward, or at least that’s what my heart wants.
Both live hard, embracing danger, and have an utter disregard for the law, but that’s where their similarities end. Where Jesse is rough around the edges, but simple and down to earth most of the time, Nick is smooth, complicated, burying the best of him behind a cool, impenetrable exterior.
“Tell me you didn’t hook up with this asshole.” Jesse points a finger at Nick. He doesn’t get a response from me.
“Nice to see you, too, Jesse.” Nick’s sarcasm stings like a whip. “How are you, Maggie?” His tone, now tender and familiar, is one I’ve only ever heard when his hands are on me. His cock inside me.
“Fuck.” Jesse inches nose to nose with Nick. “Prophet, stay the fuck away from her or else you’ll live to regret it.”
Wedging myself between them, I push Jesse away, my back against Nick’s chest, and I swear my heart’s beating just as fast as his.
My skin tingles from his warmth and proximity. His large, strong hands clasp my hips, and Jesse doesn’t miss the move.
“I’d like to see you try,” Nick taunts. “Last I checked, Maggie calls the shots, so unless she has a problem with me, I’m here to stay. Can you say the same?”
Jesse’s ready to start a fight. “You motherfu—”
I cut him off, “Jesse, leave.”
His eyes slice to me, really seeing me for the first time since Nick arrived. My heart spasms at his wounded stare.
I’ll always care about him, and I don’t want to have this kind of power over his emotions, I really don’t, but he’s also no longer in my life.
“You heard the lady; leave before this gets ugly.” Nick’s voice carries an edge I haven’t heard before, and his posture’s tense like a tightly coiled cobra, ready to strike.
Jesse shakes his head, clasping his hands on his scalp at Nick’s unveiled threat. “Un-fucking-believable.” Strangely, he leaves without another word or a backward glance.
Nick’s large hands bracket my waist, squeezing gently and he lowers his face to the side of mine, his hair tickling my neck.
“Hi,” he murmurs like we’re lovers only parted for a few hours, not days.
Shivers prickle across my nape and down my spine, stirring a longing deep between my legs.
Tilting my head to rest on his shoulder, I smile, realizing now just how much I missed him.
“Hey.”
His lips latch onto my collarbone, sucking and kissing along my flesh. His hot tongue triggers unrestrained sensations throughout my body.
I rub my back to his front and feel his erection at my lower back. His fingers knead my sides, and I almost let out a needy moan but catch myself. I’m dirty and greasy, at the garage with an audience, and most important of all, I’m still licking the wounds of his betrayal.
Conflicted and confused, I want more than anything to trust him. He gave me the strength to face my fears and makes me feel invincible. I swivel to face him, my eyes wide and cheeks pink, now conscious of my less than attractive appearance.
“What are you doing here?” My fingers comb through my hair as if, like I’m some fairy godmother, I can make my greasy coveralls and disheveled appearance magically morph into something presentable. Screw it. This is who I am.
“I wanted to see you.” His eyes flicker with hunger—and I’m dinner.
I rub my thighs together, trying to satiate the growing need within my core, and my breath catches at how excited I am to have Nick in front of me.
He dips his head toward me, an inch away, and twists his lips into a filthy smile. His sinful eyes spark as his thumb and forefinger pinch my chin, and his other hand wraps around my neck in a gesture that’s signature Nick.
His lips cover mine, his tongue skimming along my teeth before delving into the heat of my mouth. His kiss robs me of air and all coherent thought.
I don’t know what’s gotten into him. We said goodbye, and here he is, acting like we’re a thing. Like we do this all the time.
And me? I’m letting him. I don’t want him to stop, but my mind prevails, and I push away, flustered.
“Nick.” I step back even further, feeling out of control.
A few of my guys have stopped working, now staring.
“What are you looking at? Get back to work,” I say to the guys.
My eyes narrow and I lower my voice, not sure if I’m ticked at him for kissing me—at the gara
ge, no less—or me for not giving a damn until it was too late. “Don’t do that again.”
Our display of public affection could push me back into the harassment camp with some of my guys.
He sighs, raking a hand through his hair. “That’s not what your body said, and your body doesn’t lie.”
I roll my eyes; I should tell him to leave. He betrayed me. But more and more, the good he’s done outweighs the bad, and I’m losing the battle for why I should walk away. I’ve been missing him, and he’s finally here. Why would I tell him to leave?
“You come off all ‘don’t mess with me,’” he challenges.
“You’re one to talk.”
“See, that’s what I’m talking about.” His cocky smirk rankles me.
“Screw you.” I can’t stop myself from being on the defensive, even though I don’t want to be.
“That can be arranged.” His voice dips dangerously low, each word skipping along my spine. “Come here, Claws.”
I wince at the nickname. While appropriate at times, I hate it. He grips the back of my neck possessively, kissing me once more. It’s delicious, and not nearly enough.
23
Tuesday 10:19 AM
Nick
“I’ve got to go. I’ll text you.”
That didn’t go as planned. Running on no sleep and my mind filled with Maggie, I never gave it a second thought when I drove to the Phoenix. I wanted to see her. To talk to her. Not my brightest idea.
“Where are you going?” She’s close behind me.
Seeing Jesse here wasn’t what I expected and I battled my ever-loving need to punch him. Maggie told me they were over, but the glimmer in his eyes said something different. He wants her back. But what does Maggie want?
Once he left, I thought for sure things were looking up, especially once I tasted her again. God, my fucking cock hardened and wept at being near her again. But then we took up our corners.