She narrowed her eyes. Come to think of it, were Sky and Danny the same damn size? Hell if I know. Just keep breathing. She rattled the Aleve in her pocket. The stuff just wasn’t cutting it. Maybe Miles will have something stronger — the man cries more after a workout than anyone I’ve ever met.
The noise of the Aleve drew Danny’s gaze. “Medicine.”
“That’s right.” Carlisle shuffled back on the step. Damn, but those eyes were uncanny.
“Pain?”
“Two for two,” said Carlisle. “You’ll be on Jeopardy before you know it.”
Danny’s hand reached out, almost touching Carlisle’s ribs. “Because of me?”
Carlisle sighed. “No, Kendrick.” She rubbed her face. “Because of me. Because of me.”
Danny’s fingers were gentle as they touched Carlisle’s side. “Why?” The yellow of her eyes was very bright, the green of the glow stick doing nothing to wash the color away. Carlisle could smell her, the primal scent of an animal underneath the smell of woman.
“Because we needed you,” said Carlisle. “I couldn’t do it myself.” She looked at her feet, then pushed Danny’s hand aside with a slow motion. “I couldn’t save them, do you understand? I’m sorry. I’m too tired. Too slow. Too weak.”
“Detective,” said Ajay, “the entire city of Chicago was trying to kill everyone on that road. Your actions saved us.”
“My actions saved most of us,” said Carlisle. “Someone had to pay.”
“Damnation,” said Adalia. Her face was hidden by her hair, but Carlisle thought she was looking at her mother.
“Salvation,” said Ajay. The green light washed around the stairwell as he gestured with the glow stick. “Two sides of the same coin, paid in blood. Do you not see it?”
“No,” said Danny. Her hand reached up to Carlisle’s face. “Why?”
“I told you why,” said Carlisle. She tried not to flinch from Danny’s touch.
Danny’s fingers lingered for a moment before falling away. “Who you were is gone, dead and buried, heart of my heart, Pack of my Pack.”
“Don’t you fucking start,” said Carlisle. “I’ve got enough mystic shit with these two.” She jerked a thumb sideways at Ajay. “He’s the worst.”
“She is the Sword,” said Ajay, eyes on Danny. “It is her place to—”
“You carry her memory here,” said Danny, touching Carlisle’s chest above her heart. “Listen to my words. The memory of the little girl you were nips at your heels. I tell you this: the frightened child you were has died, but you burden yourself with her carcass. I have seen dragons circle against the fingers of the sun, warring in the space between the moon and earth. Their fire burned the air, and their scales fell like rain. All were weaker than you.” She pulled the blanket around her shoulders, then pushed up the stairwell into darkness. Her voice drifted back down to them. “You … let me save my only cub, heart of my heart. You will always run at my side.”
Carlisle looked at Adalia, then at Ajay. She felt the press of the Eagle at her back, touching her spine like the fingers of a friend. “Huh,” she said. She thought for a moment, before calling up into the dark above. “Don’t think that pretty speech squares us. I still want my bottle of Glenfiddich.”
∙ • ● • ∙
“I got this,” said Carlisle. “You look like a fucking vagrant.”
“Language,” said Adalia, but Danny nodded. She stepped aside, holding out her hand in a gesture of after you.
Carlisle stepped up to the door, taking in the plainness of the surface. It seemed like such a long trip to come to such an ordinary door. It’s what’s behind the door that counts.
“What if he’s not home?” Adalia was shifting from one foot to the other. “I mean, them. What if they’re not home.”
“I know what you mean,” said Danny.
“Everyone,” said Carlisle, “needs to relax. I feel like it’s my prom night, except instead of Zach Hollywood waiting for me in a tuxedo there’s just John Miles.” She rubbed the back of her neck. “Zach Hollywood was someone worth getting out of bed for.”
“Or into bed?” Danny gave her a half-smile.
“That came later,” said Carlisle, pulling her jacket straight. She rapped on the door, three quick strikes with her knuckles. They left smudges on the paint, and Carlisle held her hand up, seeing the skin missing from her knuckles. Been a busy day. She’d bet the smudges would be more red than black, but it was hard to see in the washed out green light from the glow stick.
“Are they home?” Adalia leaned forward. “Are they here?”
“Relax, kid,” said Carlisle.
“They’re home,” said Danny, her smile widening in the dim light. “They’re talking about whether they should open the door.”
Carlisle rapped on the door again. “Miles, open the fucking door. I know you’re in there.”
John’s muffled voice came from the other side of the door. “Oh shit, it’s the pigs. Flush the stash.” The door pulled open, and John was cast in silhouette from the relatively bright light streaming into the corridor. “Oh,” he said. “It’s just you. I thought was had a real problem.”
Danny shouldered past Carlisle and grabbed John in a hug. He hugged her back, then seemed to pause. “Are you … am I dreaming? Are you naked?”
Danny pulled her blanket tighter, but tossed him a tight grin. “First and last time you’ll get that kind of action, John Miles.” Her eyes went from him into the apartment.
“Oh,” said John, after a minute. “He’s back there. You know the way.”
Adalia squealed, rushing at John and jumping up. He mock-staggered, then helped her down. He turned on the Miles Megawatt Smile, then knelt down a little. “Hey.”
“Hey,” said Adalia. Carlisle watched, feeling the tension fall away from her. Finally. Finally she had people she could trust.
If only it wasn’t that clown John Miles. “Miles.”
“Yo,” he said, tousling Adalia’s hair.
“Miles, this is—” Carlisle started, turning to Ajay.
“What have they done to you?” Danny’s voice was rising to a shriek from inside the apartment. “WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU?”
Carlisle was past John, Adalia shoved behind her and back into the corridor, the Eagle bright and heavy in her hand before she’d even thought about it. The weight of the weapon lead her whole body, checking the doors and corners as natural as breathing. She took in the same apartment she knew, made smaller than she remembered by strangers standing among her friends. Old guy, probably harmless. A kid, all elbows in that awkward time of becoming a man — no gang patches, straight-laced type right from the pages of a home interiors magazine. Probably harmless. John’s squeeze — Skyler Evans — something haunted around her eyes, holding what looked like a — is that a fucking Ramset gun? — power tool, trying to work out which direction to point it. Possibly dangerous through hysteria.
And there, at the breakfast bar, Valentine Everard, looking weaker than she’d seen a man look before. Pale, leaning against the counter top, a stricken look on his face that Carlisle could have pictured being one of joy three heartbeats earlier. Danny Kendrick, naked as the day she was born, blanket tossed aside in rage and confusion, eyes bright and yellow as she looked around the room for something to kill.
Carlisle lowered the Eagle, sneaking it away to sit in the comfortable place by her spine. “Kendrick,” she said. Then, louder, “Danny.”
Danny looked at her. “They’ve taken away my Valentine,” she said. Carlisle had thought her naked a second ago, but saw her now as a woman who was fully clothed in pure anger and fear.
“Well,” said Carlisle. “I am going to admit to being confused.” She didn’t turn her head away from Danny before speaking again. “Sky? Sky, I’m going to ask you to put the Ramset gun down.”
The old man spoke up as he rose from the couch. “That’s a good idea,” he said.
“She’s crazy,” said Sky. A quick glanc
e showed she still held the weapon.
“I would say,” said the old man, his voice even like the calm in the eye of the storm, “that she is about a hair’s width from doing something bad.”
Carlisle looked at the old guy. His very calmness spoke more than his words, his understanding of the word bad very clear. “Police?”
“Fire,” he said.
“Figures,” she said. “Sky, can you put the gun down? You can’t hurt her with it.”
The old guy was walking in careful steps towards Danny, palms out. “It’s okay,” he was saying. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not okay,” she said to him, hands balled into fists. “It’s been taken.”
“Yep,” he said. He leaned down, picking up the blanket. “Thing is, we’re going to get it back. Aren’t we?”
“Who has it?”
The old guy put the blanket around her shoulders, tugging it together at the front. “I like a pretty girl as much as the next guy, but you’re distracting John,” he said.
“Priorities,” said John.
“Hey,” said Sky.
Val rubbed his face with a hand, then moved out from behind the breakfast bar. “It’s me,” he said to Danny. “It’s still me.”
“There’s so little left,” she said, something catching in her voice.
“I know,” he said. “I made a mistake.”
Danny reached a hand up — good Christ, she’s shaking like a leaf — to touch the side of his face. “Is it you?”
“It’s me,” he said. He looked like he wanted to touch her. He looked like he hated himself — for what, Carlisle didn’t know. He tried for a smile, but it slid off his face. “Hey. At least you know.” He started to turn away.
“Know what?” Danny hadn’t moved, her hand still outstretched.
“You said you needed time,” he said. “You wanted to know if it was—”
“The Night,” she said.
“The Night,” he said, nodding. “Well, now you know. It’s the Night. Without it, I’m just … empty.” What he didn’t say was, and you don’t love me without it.
“No,” said Danny.
“It’s okay,” said Val, as if he was readying himself to lift something heavy. “I understand.”
“No,” she said. “You silly, silly man.” She stepped towards him.
“What?” he said.
“Without it in the way, I can see what makes the heart of you,” she said. “That’s what I love.”
“What?” said Val again, with the tone of a man who’d just received a death row reprieve. He was touching Danny’s face, and then they were kissing. The blanket fell away again. Fuck’s sake, that woman cannot keep her clothes on. Still, if I looked that good with 40 years on the clock I’d probably run up and down the street buck naked too.
“So,” said Carlisle. “Sky?”
“Yes?” Sky was still standing close to the Ramset gun, the tool within easy reach.
“Sky, do you have any spare clothes? Kendrick’s giving me an inferiority complex.” Carlisle felt the weight of the last few days heavy on her shoulders. So tired. “And beer. Do you have beer?”
Sky nodded. “I’ve got some clothes.”
“I looted beer,” said John. “We’ve got plenty of warm beer.”
“Awesome,” said Carlisle. “Let’s let the lovebirds—” but Danny and Val were already walking towards one of the rooms, ignoring everyone else “—never mind. Go get me a bottle. Oh. Right. And introduce yourself to the man in the corridor.”
“Okay,” said John, “but one thing.”
“For the love of Christ,” said Carlisle, “I’m really not in the mood.”
She could see something soften in John’s gaze. “What happened?”
“Doesn’t matter,” she said, but couldn’t stop herself from wincing.
“I’ll get you a beer, and something with a little more pep.” He nodded to himself. “What does matter,” he said, “is that there’s no one in the corridor.”
“What?”
“Empty,” said John.
“He’s gone,” said Adalia, something other in her voice. “He’s gone to fight his last battle.”
“Ah,” said Carlisle. Guess you won’t be getting laid after all. “Actually, you know what?”
“No,” said the old man.
“I’d like to know,” said John.
“I’m too damn tired for this,” she said. “Get me that beer.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
“I thought you were gone forever.”
“Shh. I thought I had to leave.”
“But you’re back now?”
“I don’t think I ever really left.”
“I held you close. I thought about you every day.”
“I know. I couldn’t stop either.”
“If it was something I did—”
“It wasn’t anything you did. It wasn’t anything you were.”
“I’ve missed you so much.”
“Yes. I … I was missing a part of myself.”
“But … it was something I did. Maybe I didn’t know it—”
“Shh. There’s time enough for that later.”
“Later?”
“Later.”
CHAPTER FORTY
The table was laid with a feast.
“Is this … is this what spam looks like?” Adalia was poking something on a plate with a fork.
“I’ve only ever seen it in video games,” said Just James. There was a kind of awe in his voice. “I didn’t think it was real. You know. Like dragons.”
“Dragons are real,” said Danny. Val watched her pile a plate with anything she could, pieces of canned meat, vegetables from a can, stale bread.
“…Right,” said Just James. He tossed a look at Adalia. “She your mother?”
“Yeah,” said Adalia.
“Always been like this?” Just James scampered away from Danny as she bared her teeth at him. He was grinning.
Val sighed. Family.
Not family. Pack.
Oh, he thought. There you are.
Yes.
Great. Family is the same thing as Pack. He bit into a piece of stale bread, chewing it for a while before washing it down with a pull from his bottle. Danny came to sit next to him, the smell of her—
Pack mate.
—the best thing. Not even the cold shower could wipe the smile off his face.
He wiped his nose, fingers coming away red. Well, that might wipe the smile off my face.
Val felt her touch on his arm. Her eyes were warm. “Hey. We’ll fix it.”
“Yes,” he said. Because otherwise the world was going to end. Again.
The den is always in peril.
Val tapped the side of his head. “Yours talk to you too?”
“Not so much talking,” said Danny, the words coming out around a mouthful of canned asparagus. “Christ, what is this?”
“Canned asparagus.” John tossed a bread roll to Rex across the table, before handing a laden plate to Sky. Val watched John’s hand linger against Sky’s, felt happy for his friend. “I went for canned stuff. Fresh isn’t the best in a zombie apocalypse.”
“It tastes like … God, I don’t know.” Danny swallowed, with obvious effort. “Calories.”
“No,” said Sky. “It doesn’t taste like calories. It tastes like—”
“Congealed snot,” said Just James.
“Gross,” said Adalia.
“Accurate,” said Rex. The old man was putting his plate down. He leveled a fork at John. “Son? Next time you go looting, I’m coming with you.”
The banter continued around the small table, people telling their stories of the past days, weeks, years. The only one who wasn’t talking was Carlisle. She was leaned against a wall, her plate held on her lap with one hand. Her eyes looked out the window, but her heart looked somewhere else.
Her den is empty.
Val put his plate aside, shuffling across the room. He was feeli
ng weaker now, the virus doing its work against what was left of the Night. He didn’t know how long he had, not really, but it made him feel more alive. Like this mattered.
“Carlisle,” he said. He leaned against the wall beside her.
“Hm?” She didn’t stop looking out the window.
“Not hungry?” Val sighed. “I don’t blame you really. I think this is the first time that I’ve eaten mushrooms from a can.”
“What?” Carlisle sighed. “I’m sorry, Everard. I was thinking about something else.” She turned to face the room, shoulder to shoulder with him.
“Someone,” said Val.
“What?”
“You said something,” said Val. “I’d say someone. The invisible man.”
“Ajay,” said Carlisle. “He’s not invisible. He’s just not here.”
“Is he with us?” Val tapped his fork against his leg. “Is he one of us?”
“I don’t think so,” said Carlisle.
“He’s against us?”
“No,” she said. “I don’t know.”
“Do you love him?” Val spun the fork in his fingers.
“This isn’t a fairy tale,” said Carlisle. “Love doesn’t work that way.”
Val looked at John and Sky, then found Danny’s eyes across the room. “Yeah,” he said, “yeah it does.”
“You guys are sickening,” said Carlisle.
“Here’s the thing,” said Val. “We don’t get to choose.”
“Choose?” She turned her head towards him for a moment.
“Who we love.” Val pointed the fork at Adalia.
“That’s different,” said Carlisle. “I never wanted that kind of responsibility. She just kind of … wormed her way under my skin.”
“Like I said,” said Val. “We don’t get to choose. Our Pack chooses us. And then we get to stand with them against all the world throws at us, until we make it okay.”
“Our pack?”
“You know what I mean,” said Val.
Carlisle was silent for a moment. “I know what you mean.” She ran a hand through hair streaked with gray. “I don’t know him at all.”
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