by O. J. Lowe
She tested her arms, felt the warning crackle of electricity. Brilliant. Long as she didn’t want to scratch her nose, she’d be fine. Just thinking that made her itch but she bit it down. She had to. She could resist temptation. Just don’t think about it. Think about that cage. She’d not experienced anything like it ever before, something that was completely impermeable to the Kjarn. By rights, that shouldn’t happen. The Kjarn was a part of all things, connected to everything and everyone and yet it remained a blank slate to her.
Maybe her grip on it wasn’t as secure as she’d like sometimes but there was no way she should be sensing nothing from it. She let herself fall into it again, felt that energy fill her weary body and reached for it, letting her mind touch it. It felt smooth through her touch, smooth like stone and yet still she couldn’t tell what was beyond there. Curiously she circled around it, feeling more than seeing and found it was a large square shape, all just as impervious as the rest of it.
Through little effort, she rose and checked the top, found it all just as sealed off. How they got the contents in and out, she couldn’t tell. Nor did she want to. If it was as impermeable on the inside as the out, she wouldn’t want to be locked in there. She should thank whatever deity was listening that she hadn’t been, that her prisoner was of the garden variety. Of course, right now the real prison was the altitude. No getting out of this until they landed. And then they’d see.
“Hello?” Kyra called, making her choice. “Anyone in there?”
If it was that sealed up, it was unlikely they would hear her. In her examination, she’d found nothing she could use as leverage to prise it open, no knobs or levers, nor any sign of protruding machinery that she could manipulate. She hadn’t seen what the men had been chasing earlier but it must have been something they were worried about given the number of them and the firepower they’d been packing in their efforts. She’d not seen that many weapons in one place outside the viewing screens. And to have them shooting at you wasn’t a pleasant experience. All the preparation in the kingdoms couldn’t help you with that when it came to pass.
The important thing was that she’d survived. Another amazing lesson her master had imparted on her. Survive. If you survive, it is the first step back up. If you are dead, then you are of no use to me and I will have wasted my time with you. I will be required to waste my time training another apprentice.
She could almost hear his cold dead voice in the confines of the ship, echoing through the cargo hold.
There’d been no answer. Twice more she called out with her greeting and twice more she met silence. She felt frustration, let her head fall back onto the ground and closed her eyes. Maybe she could sleep. Restore some of her strength. The pain in her head had devolved down to a dull thump that demanded attention but not a lot of it.
Yes.
That sat her bolt upright on the spot, the snap of her stun cuffs a distant occurrence as she heard the voice. Except that wasn’t the right term for it, was it? There were words but speech wasn’t the best way to describe what she’d just heard. It was more like she’d heard it directly in her head. Impossible… Well not quite. She knew what she’d heard. She’d heard of Kjarn users being able to pass rudimentary messages to others via a similar method but not like this. All lore said it was strong emotions and their ilk rather than actual words. What that meant now, in these circumstances, she didn’t know.
“Are you okay?” she asked. “Are you in that box?”
Several more beats, she wondered if maybe she’d imagined things. That would be about right. Here in a short space of time and she went crazy. That’d do for her reputation.
I am unharmed. What is this box?
Okay so maybe she wasn’t imagining it. Or maybe she was. Either way it was something to while away the boredom.
“Okay, that’s good,” she said. “I don’t know what it is. I’ve not seen anything like it before. It’s weird.”
Whoever was in there, they weren’t a rapid talker, she had to give them that as she waited a reply from them. Several long moments passed, she tapped her feet impatiently on the ground, beating out a lonely dull sound that might never have passed for music except in the lack of an acceptable substitute.
What is weird?
The question took her by surprise, of all the things she could have been asked, that wasn’t one of ones she’d been expecting.
“Weird?” she asked. “You really want to know what weird is right now?” She sighed. It probably came out harsher than she’d meant it to but in the stress of the situation she thought she’d be forgiven. After all, she wasn’t used to being locked up and it didn’t do wonders for her disposition apparently.
“Weird is when stuff is strange. When it can’t be explained. When you know something is going on and you can’t work out what that something is and it just drives you nuts. It’s when you see something you know is wrong and shouldn’t exist and yet there it is.”
Silence. As if she hadn’t seen that coming, she thought with a sigh.
You use a lot of words to explain.
“I do,” she said. “Do you understand?”
This time she counted the beats before she got her answer, one, nothing, two, nothing, three, nothing, four…
I think so. I think if I am in this box then I must be weird.
She said nothing to that. Didn’t voice her suspicions aloud about this whole thing. It wouldn’t be worth it. Not getting into the minefield it’d undoubtedly bring up.
And if you can hear me, then you must also be weird.
“Hey!” she protested. “Don’t call me weird. Not nice. And unjustified. How are you doing that anyway? It’s like I can hear you but I can’t hear you at the same time.”
Her arms ached through that last shock, she tried to ignore it. Wondered if she could jimmy them free with the Kjarn, give herself a reprieve from their nasty little imprisonment.
I do not know. I simply am.
It wouldn’t be a good idea. Once she got them off, there was no guarantee she’d be able to get them back on again when they came for her. And when they came for her, there might be more of them. And without a weapon, her chances grew smaller with the greater the number that came for her. No, better they thought her beaten and tamed. A docile animal is regarded as less of a threat than a feral one. Everyone expects a feral beast to bite you. Everyone is surprised when the domesticated one does it to you.
“I’m not weird,” she insisted. “I’m just… well, I’m just me. Nothing else.”
I do not know. I do therefore I am.
“Uh huh.” It had come out of the blue, she hadn’t expected it but there was just no way to answer that. She wondered what was in there once again, the whole thing a question that was burning through her very being. So curious and yet no way of assuaging that curiosity because of the distance between them. So near and yet so very far away from answers. They could at least have given her some light. “I need to know. Who are you?”
Beat.
I do not know.
It felt like the unseen speaker was getting the hang of the whole conversation thing slowly but gradually. The gaps between answers were growing shorter every time she heard that booming voice in her head.
“Everyone has a name. Everyone.”
If I do, then I do not know. What is a name?
She hesitated, closed her eyes and sucked in stale breath of air. Before all this, she’d been so… free. Now look at her. Talking with someone for whom strange wasn’t just an option but a choice by the sounds of it. “Are you genuinely asking? Or are you being philosophical?” Kyra decided very quickly to just assume he… Was it a he? She decided very quickly to just assume he was genuinely asking. She didn’t want to start explaining or debating philosophy right here and now. That was genuinely low on her list of things to do. “A name is a brand. It’s how we identify each other. It’s what makes us us, if you get my meaning. My name is Kyra Eve Sinclair. It’s the name my parents gave me.”<
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I see. I think. You didn’t choose it yourself?
She shook her head. “No. Nobody does. Not their original name. It’s like the first gift you ever get. It’s who you’ll always be no matter what happens. You’re born and you get a name, welcome to the world.”
You talk a lot. I don’t have a name.
That was a little rude, she had to concede. Being told she talked a lot was a bit impolite considering all she was doing to answer his… She still didn’t know if it was a he or not. It sounded like a he, but that didn’t mean anything. She’d met plenty of women who had a voice close to this…
Questions, questions and not an answer in sight.
Have I angered you?
That caught her by surprise. He had, but… There was no way he should have been able to know that. She couldn’t get anything off him and yet he’d just read her even through that Kjarn-proof cage. With that there, she wasn’t getting anything. Weird. Very weird. There was that word again.
“No, not really,” she said. “I’m just surprised. How did you get here? Do you know?” It might have come off a little sarcastic, perhaps unnecessary but her patience was slowly hanging by a thread growing tauter by the minute. She tried to flex her fingers, felt them growing numb and winced as a warning smatter of static flooded through her.
I awoke. I was caged.
Amnesia? Maybe he couldn’t remember. It wasn’t impossible. If he was who they’d being shooting at in that cavern up on the mountain, then it was likely they’d had to incapacitate him the same way they had her. Waking up, she’d found it a struggle to compose her thoughts. If he’d been hit with several stun blasts, then it might well have caused untold cognitive damage. Stun blasts could interfere with mental functions. Especially when those shooting them were under the impression that more is better than less. Her body still ached where they’d hit her with them. Like being kicked repeatedly by a wild roo.
I was caged until I wasn’t. I reached out into the world and everything broke. The walls, those small weak apes, nothing could hold me back. I tasted freedom and it was sweet. The air was delicious, I’ve never felt anything so beautiful. I flew through worlds unimaginable but they followed me. They hounded me to a hole in the sky and I fought them for a long time but they overcame me eventually. I was exhausted inside and out. Now I am caged once more.
Oh… They were the most words she’d heard him speak at once and she felt they were also the most illuminating of the lot of them.
“You’re not human, are you?” She couldn’t help herself, the words just came out. She knew they lacked tact but at the same time she didn’t care. Thinking back to the cave, she tried to remember what she’d felt when she’d cast her mind over towards whatever it was those guys had been trying to lock down. If there had been something, then she couldn’t recall but it hadn’t been anywhere approaching human. She knew what a human felt like in the Kjarn and she knew what an animal felt like in it. Yet that aura hadn’t felt like either. What was going on then?
Like those who attacked me? Caged me? Flesh and bone? No. Never. I am not like them. I would wipe more of them out if I could.
That hurt like a slap in the face and she recoiled, already shuffling back along the floor to the other side of her cage, keeping on going back until her spine was pressed up against the opposite end. The bars dug into her flesh. “Erm… Okay. You definitely can’t get out of there, can you?”
She tried to sound offhand. Failed miserably, the implications of what was going on in front of her too staggering to ignore. Not human. Not animal. But existed regardless. And capable of actual speech. Of emotion. Of intelligence. This really wasn’t right. Something messed up was going on and she didn’t know what.
For the first time in as long as she could remember, Kyra felt staggered. She hadn’t felt this way since the first day she’d met her master and he’d told her about the Kjarn. That had opened a raft of new worlds to her that she’d never even dreamed of and it had changed her life forever. This… This could change everything forever.
Across the darkened room, the impervious block rattled faintly and then all sound ceased from it.
No. It remains sealed to me. But I will escape.
Oh goodie… That was a relief at least. Maybe she could sic this thing on her captors and flee in the confusion. That wouldn’t be a bad plan. At least until you considered the two downsides. One, he might just as easily take her out and two, there was still the matter of them being airborne.
They cannot hold me. They failed once. They will fail again. I will await my time. It will come and everyone else’s will run out.
“I hope you don’t include me in that,” she said and then regretted it as she physically felt the void of sound erupt out from the direction of the block ahead of her. Oops…
You are one of them, Kyra Eve Sinclair?
The voice sounded surprised and she didn’t know if that was a good thing or not. “Yes. I’m human. Very human. Super human in fact. Can’t get more human than me.” She was babbling now, maybe with nerves and she knew that, she just couldn’t stop her mouth from moving. All her training was threatening to bleed out through her ears and she privately hated herself for it. She shouldn’t feel fear like this, but there it was, a big void in her stomach sucking in everything else.
For the longest time, he didn’t respond and she wondered if he was plotting her demise. She wondered if he’d made up his mind no longer to speak to her because of that discovery. If his hatred had now become extended to her despite the conversation they’d being having. They’d been getting on so well as well. Probably never be best friends but they might have become prison break buddies together… Now who knew?
She didn’t know how long it was before he did speak again. Might have been minutes. It felt like hours.
I did not know.
That stung a little bit, caught her by surprise as she stared thoughtfully out into the darkness beyond, wondering more than she wanted to admit at the revelation. Eventually she couldn’t keep it in and she let it all spill out.
“What?! What the hells did you think I was then? Some sort of talking machine? I mean, we’ve been talking for… I don’t know how long.”
I thought you were like me. Different.
“Yeah, you’re different all right. But so am I. I’m not like those guys who caught you. I tried to save them. I fought them, don’t you remember?”
I know that violence will begat violence. Where there is some, there will always be more.
“You wouldn’t have been complaining if I’d…” Killed them? She had done just that. Didn’t seem prudent to mention it. “… If I’d saved you now, would you? You wouldn’t be here. I wouldn’t be here…”
And neither would they. I did not fight them. I have no desire to fight.
“Are you saying you didn’t fight back?” That felt like an incredibly selfish attitude if she was honest. She almost said as much but held her tongue. She couldn’t imagine not fighting for her freedom. Even now, she was just waiting for the moment to strike when she could be free of all this and they wouldn’t be able to stop her.
I did not. Nor did I ask you to for me.
“I didn’t plan to. It happened by accident. I was in the wrong place. I couldn’t have known what would happen. I was looking for something else and… And I found all this. I was unlucky. I only struck back.”
What is unlucky?
That question took her by surprise and she considered the answer for a moment before debating whether to give one or not. They didn’t have time for this. She didn’t know how long she had before they landed and it could be spent better now. Kyra also took a few seconds to consider this as well. She was having a conversation with something that freely admitted it wasn’t human. It admitted it hated humans. Now she knew that, it was easier to think of it as an it than it had been to think of it as male. Strange, that.
“It’s when something favours you fortunately or unfortunately in a tight
situation,” she said tersely. “It goes for you, it’s lucky. It lets you down, it’s unlucky.”
I see.
“Well good for you,” she said. Her master had always encouraged patience but it was slowly wearing away now and she was considering escape plans. Already she’d ruled out doing it here but was it possible? Maybe. Perhaps. Give the right circumstances…
Perhaps I was lucky in my escape.
“You didn’t seem so hesitant to kill then,” she said. After all, hadn’t it moments earlier more or less said it’d cheerfully kill any human it came across. And now it was talking about refusing to fight back and hating violence. “You’re one messed up creature, do you know that?”
Perhaps that, I am.
The voice took on a solemn note and just for a moment she felt a little guilty by what she’d just said. A little. Not a lot.
“Then again, I think we all are to a point,” she added. There wasn’t any point in being cruel for the sake of it. Sometimes you won more friends with honey than with whips. She doubted they’d be friends now. You could never say never. They’d gotten on okay at the start before words had been exchanged and identities compromised. “You’re not alone in that regard I think.”
The response that came back to her sent a cold tinge through her skin and she had to draw several deep breaths to keep her composure.
I don’t believe I’m alone in this room in that regard when I talk to you.
“What?!” Even with her composure, it still came out sharp and harsh. She couldn’t keep it out of her voice. She didn’t want to. She didn’t care if it knew the words had struck a nerve, she was having it out. “What did you just say?!”
Kyra Eve Sinclair, you profess to be human but you don’t feel it. You claim to be different from those who hounded me and yet somehow you are just the same. I can feel the darkness in you. You are different from those men in there. You are worse. I can see inside you and you know what I can see?
It was almost shouting now, she cringed at the volume of the words splitting through her head and tried to reach for her ears, anything to shut it out. Everything just went straight into her brain like white hot needles, no chance of preparing for it, no way to shut it out. The Kjarn left her, any thought she might have had of control was lost to her, like snatching at thin air and she wanted to weep.