Shadowed

by Kariss Lynch

  The most dangerous kind of person was one who believed in something greater than himself. Their direction never wavered. Their very life philosophy made them nearly invincible, for no matter how terrible the circumstance, they could cling to one thing in the darkest night—hope. But then they died for it, just like Andrei, her brother who wanted to protect everything and everyone the USSR stood against.

  She squeezed her eyes shut. She could still see him kneeling in the dirt, hands tied behind his back. Blood dripped from his mouth and one of his eyes was swollen shut. Something sticky matted the left side of his hair, but he looked up at her with one blue eye, confident of his actions even on his knees. The sound of gunfire in her memory made her eyes fly open. She could still see that blue eye. The same shade as Nick’s. Maybe that’s why Nick fascinated her.

  She took another drag on the cigarette and stepped away from the window, licking her dry, cracked lips. Her heart raced. For the first time she tasted the bitter brine of fear. She refused to be caught. But she wouldn’t let Nick die like Andrei either. If she had to hurt him to keep him away, make him stop, she would. Even if that meant sacrificing the one thing he loved most.

  Janus squared her shoulders. Time to set the next plan in motion. Reaching into her pocket, she gripped a chain and pulled it out, studying it in the twilight. A dangling lily.

  Nick should have left well enough alone.

  Chapter 20

  THEIR PLANE LANDED in Alabama around midnight on Thursday, and Kaylan could have kissed the ground she walked on. Home—Southern accents, home cooking, Alabama football, family, and the lake she’d grown up on. Even as she crawled into her bed that night, she couldn’t believe the peace she felt. Already the fact that a killer shadowed her seemed like a movie instead of her life.

  She woke early the next morning, despite the day off, eager to see a sunrise. She donned her bathing suit and cover-up, planning for a day on the lake. Warm sun, the wind on her face, and even the murky smell of lake water called her name. Anticipation tugged her feet down the stairs. Even the slight fall nip entering the air wouldn’t stop her.

  Fresh, black coffee brewed in the pot near the stove. She opted for hazelnut coffee from the Keurig with Irish cream flavored creamer. Her mother had repainted the breakfast nook again, this time a warm cranberry color. A pastel-tinted sky filled the bay windows facing the dock and lake.

  “Hey, gorgeous.” Kaylan jumped at Nick’s deep voice and his arms wrapping around her waist. Coffee splashed her hand as she steadied her mug. “Oh, babe, I’m sorry.”

  She shook the liquid from her hand and turned in his arms, careful not to spill any more. Wrapping her free arm around his neck, she pulled his face down to hers. His lips tasted like coffee. As in the months after Haiti, once again she found safety in his arms. But while he had sought to comfort her then, it was her turn to be the comforter.

  “Why didn’t you sleep longer this morning?” she whispered against his lips.

  “I couldn’t miss an opportunity to spend the morning with you.” He kissed her again, and she leaned into his embrace. And in the warmth of her family’s kitchen, wrapped in Nick’s arms, she knew. She loved this man with everything in her. No matter the danger, no matter where the government sent them, she would follow Nick Carmichael anywhere.

  She would tell him today. Her heart fluttered with her realization.

  It was time.

  Compared to the Pacific, the lake water warmed her to her toes. She knew fall approached and the time to winterize the jet skis and boat drew near, but for now she enjoyed the sun on her face and wind whipping her hair as she raced Nick on the jet skis. Water drops collected on her sunglasses, and she waved to neighbors on the shore as they zipped past. Nick lifted his hand off the handle. “Is that all you got?” he mouthed before speeding off in front of her.

  No way could she let him win. More than once she’d flown off a jet ski while riding with her brothers. She leaned in close to the bars and pushed the jet ski to fifty miles per hour. Her skin pulled taut in the wind whipping past her. Up ahead Nick stopped and jumped into the water to float, his life jacket collecting around his face, a Frogman in his natural habitat. She followed suit, the water cresting her head as she plunged into the deep.

  The life jacket ballooned around her as she floated on her back in the water. With a quick tug her head jerked below the water line, causing her to panic. A wave lapped over her head as she came up sputtering to Nick’s laughter.

  “That was not nice, Nick Carmichael.”

  His chuckle reverberated on the water. “I can’t be sweet all the time.” He unbuckled his life jacket and slipped it on the seat of his jet ski.

  “Nick, we aren’t supposed to take those off.”

  He looked around the calm lake, absent of boats this time on a Friday morning, and shrugged. “I never swim with a life jacket. It’ll be fine.” He swam back to her, his eyes the only visible part of his face as he approached.

  “Don’t start that,” she warned, then squealed as he grabbed her around the waist and unbuckled her life vest. “Nick . . . ”

  His hands stilled. “Do you trust me?”

  “With all my heart.”

  He studied her for a moment, then slipped the life vest free from her arms, tossing it on the floating vessels. She wrapped her arms around his neck, their legs treading water in sync in the gentle, bobbing waves. As he leaned in to kiss her, she pulled back and shoved his head under water. Laughter spilled from her until he jerked her below again.

  They both came up spluttering and laughing.

  “Truce,” she shouted, backing away from him.

  He reached for her, and a nervous giggle spilled from her lips. “Nick . . . ”

  Keeping his hands to himself, he leaned forward to kiss her. “Deal. I promise.”

  She studied the rivulets of water that dripped from his hair down his face and the way his body maintained buoyancy with ease, truly a fish in this water. He found peace in the toughest waves.

  “I’ve been thinking.” Her heart galloped as she licked her lips, tasting lake water.

  “That’s a pretty dangerous pastime for you, isn’t it?”

  “Watch it, mister.” She smiled. “Sarcasm is dangerous too.”

  His arms repelled the water around him. “All right, all right. What’s been going through that gorgeous head of yours?”

  “I’ve been thinking a lot about Sarah Beth and how much I loved her, how much it hurt when she died.” She blinked back the prick of tears, wondering when the pain would lessen. “I’ve watched you and thought about that night on the beach. And I’ve watched Logan and Kim as they weather this crisis, Kim’s strength, Logan’s leadership.

  “I’ve thought about what love is. That it’s less about how I feel and more about a commitment. A choice. I’ve watched Kim choose what’s best for Logan, stand by his side, and still parent their children. She honors and respects Logan’s sacrifice. She chooses to love him no matter what shape he is in. Because she trusts him.” Kaylan closed the distance between them, slipping into the hollow of his arms. He stilled in the water, his gaze curious.

  “Kayles, what are you trying to tell me?” His ey
es searched her face as he wrapped an arm around her waist, supporting them both as they bobbed in the waves.

  “I’m saying that I’ve been scared to love you. Scared to lose you. But when I look at what God says love is, Nick, you love me as Christ calls people to love others. More than once you’ve been ready and willing to lay down your life for me, to do whatever is necessary to protect me. You’ve been patient in my fear, constantly pointing me to Jesus.” Her eyes filled with tears, and she couldn’t wait to share her heart, all of her heart with him.

  “Nick Carmichael, I love you with all my heart. I think I have for a while, but it took me a while to identify or express it. I want to follow you as you follow Christ. I’ll trust Him to take care of you as you once trusted Him with me after Haiti. But I will not live in fear any longer.” She laughed, her heart feeling free with the words. She framed his face with her hands, staring into his gorgeous blue eyes. “I love you, Nick. And I want a future with you.”

  His lips covered hers, and for a few glorious moments she allowed everything she hadn’t allowed herself to feel pour into her kiss. It felt appropriate that all good things in their relationship happened in and around water. It somehow made each experience more powerful, more meaningful.

  They both pulled away breathless. Nick rested his forehead on hers, keeping them floating in the gentle waves. “Do you know how long I’ve waited for you to realize that?”

  “Wait, you knew?” She pulled back to look at him.

  “Kayles, you said it. Love is a choice, not a feeling. You’ve demonstrated love in your actions, your words, and your respect for me for months now. I think you were expecting it to feel like something different than it does.”

  She nodded. “I think I was expecting these giddy, over-the-top feelings. And there is a measure of that when I’m with you.”

  “I get that. But you and I have experienced the nitty-gritty of life together the last year. When we first met, I was over-the-moon infatuated with you, like a little kid with my emotions. But this last year? We’ve had to weather the absolute worst, and we’ve still managed to care for one another and move forward. That’s love, Kayles. And I love you too, Kaylan Lee Richards.”

  He kissed her again, and she relished his words, the meaning taking root in a greater way than it had on the beach. Her heart finally found a home with the man she adored on the lake where they first met. Their future began today.

  He tugged her back to the jet skis, and she climbed on the back, the seat scorching her legs.

  “Kayles, can I talk to your dad while we’re here? You know . . . about the future?”

  She could read a subtle case of nerves he fought to hide, and her stomach knotted. The future. This was a big step. She took a deep breath and smiled. “Whatever you want to do, babe.”

  He slipped his life vest on and grinned the smile he reserved only for her, the kind that made her heart race and rooted her all at the same time. “Race you back.”

  Before she could even snap her vest, he took off like a shot. A smile spread across her face, and she thanked the Lord that life would never be boring with this Navy SEAL. She revved her engine and followed in his wake, her jet ski dancing back and forth across the waves he’d created on the way home.

  Chapter 21

  NICK LOVED WATCHING Kaylan in her element. Her family had her heart, and with her guard down, she loved with all she had. After their morning on the lake, he had noticed a subtle shift in her—less independent and more open with him, like all her walls from Haiti and his abandonment years before had finally crashed to the ground. Her eyes truly revealed her heart, and with her admission, he saw the joy, pain, and occasional fear that flared from time to time.

  In true Richards’ fashion the kitchen island held a healthy spread, compliments of Marian, who watched the interaction among her four adult children with pleasure. Scott and David were taking a long lunch break, and Seth had just returned from class. Scott bantered with his sons, his arm slung around his daughter. Pap and Gran watched from the kitchen breakfast nook. The old man motioned to Nick, patting the seat next to him on the bench seats framing the bay windows.

  Pap nursed sweet tea, which Nick knew from experience tended to be more sugar and lemon than tea. Gran had the brew down to a science without a recipe. He’d watched her make the tea with practiced hands many times during his stay with this family. Nick sank into the cushion, accepting a glass of tea from Gran before she went to join her daughter around the island.

  “How are you doing, young man?”

  Nick grinned. “I’m doing well, sir.”

  Pap nodded to Kaylan. “It looks like you are keeping my granddaughter happy. Thank you.”

  Nick loved the twinkle in Pap’s eye. Despite his stroke, he remained as spunky as ever. “My pleasure. She makes me happy too.”

  “Am I hearing wedding bells anytime soon?”

  “I guess you will need to talk to her about that.” Nick chuckled, appreciating Pap’s bluntness.

  Pap shook his head. “No, sir. You’re the one that has to do the asking. So I’m asking you.”

  “I’ve wanted to ask for a while. As of today, I think she’s finally ready.”

  “Ah, I see.” Pap turned to look out at the lake and then back at Nick with a cheeky grin on his face. “That lake has always been a magical place to her. I guess it’s only appropriate she came to terms with her feelings out there, as well.”

  “She told you what we talked about?”

  “No, son, but knowing my Sugar the way I do, it didn’t take me long to figure things out. Now to business.” Pap dropped a large manila-clasped envelope on the table. It made a dull thud as it landed, telling Nick Pap had stuffed it full.

  “What’s this?”

  Pap folded his hands on the table and leaned closer to Nick. “I know how important it is for you to find your family. So I used some of my connections with the powers that be to find your birth parents. There aren’t many hard facts but a lot of trails. I actually found your dad, but it seems your mom wanted to stay anonymous.”

  Nick opened the brackets and removed the bundle. He sorted through some of the sheets until he found what appeared to be a military record with a scanned photo paper clipped to the top. Air Force.

  “That’s your father. Airman First Class Thomas Murphy. He worked ground crew at a base in Germany in the 1980s before the fall of the Berlin Wall. He hailed from Kansas City, Kansas. His family owned some cornfields, but he didn’t want to stay in Kansas his whole life. He enlisted at eighteen and accepted the position in Germany at twenty-two. I only discovered your relationship because I had some strings pulled. Perks of being a judge for so long. Friends in strategic places. It was buried in your file. I don’t think your adoptive parents even knew.”

  Nick studied the photo, same strong jaw and angled nose, similar dusty blond hair. His blue eyes seemed determined to prove himself, a young kid set to conquer the world. The face staring back at him seemed as foreign as it was familiar. His dad. Biological dad.

  “Do you know what happened to him?”

  Pap flipped the file to another page and pointed to the bottom. Bullet wound on a day off in the city at the age of twenty-five.
Robbery was expected since he was out of uniform. He was sent home to Kansas to be buried, a hero who died too young and unfairly. But death never fought fair.

  Nick glanced back up at Pap, who watched him closely, and Nick allowed him a window to his quiet struggle. “I’m not sure what to think or how to feel about all this. Maybe I wasn’t expecting him to be dead. Maybe I never actually thought I would find this. I mean, we share the same blood, but he’s not my dad, you know?”

  Pap nodded. “Blood binds us, but it’s not definitive. Family is also a choice, as you well know from growing up with two people who loved you with everything and didn’t share a drop of your DNA. I think it’s okay to have mixed emotions. Pray through it. Sort through it. And put the search to rest.”

  “You said there was nothing on my mom? How could she be a ghost? And if my dad was in Germany, how did they meet, and how did I end up here?”

  “All good questions. I couldn’t find all those answers. I did find this.” Pap reached across the table to tug another page loose. A birth certificate and a note. Nikolai Sebastian caught his eye. The same name Janus had written on the envelope mailed to his house. The name no one ever used. “You were dropped off at US Mission Berlin, which operated as a sort of embassy in West Berlin during the Cold War. You were passed off to a member of the State Department with a note declaring your father was a member of the United States Air Force. A couple of soldiers volunteered to take you home once they were released. You wound up in the California system before your parents adopted you as a baby. This is a note from a member of the State Department responsible for your relocation.”

  He scanned the note.

  This baby was left at our doors on May 25, 1984. The note left with the baby said only his name: Nikolai Sebastian, a squadron number, and the name Murphy, with Air Force written next to it. CPS was called, an investigation commenced, and the baby was placed with a couple within a month.