I am also rather timorous, but I won’t allow myself to be deprived of my daily stroll or scooter ride by a few hooligans. Bring on the heart attack.
Wednesday, 30 December
What will people be talking about in 2040 when they look back on the year 2015? The battle against global warming? ISIS terror attacks? The refugees? No, I think, actually, they’ll be talking about the Old-But-Not-Dead Club. Quite right, too. A bright beacon in dark times. A turning point in the culture and the dawn of senior-emancipation. In 2040 the world will have 10,000 Old-But-Not-Dead clubs. The restaurants and museums won’t know what to do with us. The travel industry for seniors will make billions. The most fabulous care homes will spring up everywhere to accommodate the tidal wave of ornery old people who don’t want to live alone. Respect and deference for grey hair will prevail, as will Canta- and mobility-scooter-congestion.
Statues of our gang will be erected in a park in North Amsterdam and draw thousands of elderly visitors every year.
‘Look, the one there, with the dog, that’s Evert. And the ones with the pots and pans on their heads must be Ria and Antoine. There’s Geert, Edward and Graeme, such a good likeness!’
I am standing beside Evert, arm in arm with Eefje. We’re beaming.
Thursday, 31 December
I was in good spirits for most of 2015, until November, when I fell into a funk. Evert’s death affected me greatly, and that made Eefje’s loss come back and hit me hard again. I was dragging myself about with a droopy head and an exhausted body. That’s when you need true friends to give you a good scolding.
‘You’re getting to be an old bore, you know that, Hendrik?’ Antoine said.
And Leonie goaded me by taking aim at my weak spot – Evert: ‘Evert would have said he couldn’t stand looking at such a sad sack. Either buck up, or fuck off, Hendrik,’ she said, honouring Evert’s memory with her choice of words.
Their wise counsel helped me; that, and the doctor’s little pills.
I hit rock bottom, but I’m over it now. I am on my way back and enjoying life again with perhaps three-quarters gusto. My mood is a B average, and sometimes even a B+. Tonight, for example, New Year’s Eve: Geert has secretly hung a string of firecrackers from Ria and Antoine’s balcony, and the champagne is on ice. Graeme has made up a quiz. Okkie is going to teach us a Turkish dance. At midnight we’ll hug one another awkwardly and a bit tipsily, but most affectionately.
A new year – how you get through it is up to you, Groen; life doesn’t come with training wheels. Get this show on the road. And keep looking on the bright side.
THE BEGINNING
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MICHAEL JOSEPH
UK | USA | Canada | Ireland | Australia
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Michael Joseph is part of the Penguin Random House group of companies whose addresses can be found at global.penguinrandomhouse.com
First published in the Netherlands as As Long as There is Life by Meulenhoff 2017
Copyright © Hendrik Groen, 2017
Translation copyright © Hester Velmans, 2017
The moral right of the author and translator has been asserted
Cover illustration © Victor Meijer
ISBN: 978-1-405-93031-4
On the Bright Side Page 35