“Yes, but your wound is a lot deeper than mine.” Her voice turned serious and her eyes darkened with emotion. “And you’ll always have scars.”
They weren’t talking about their physical wounds anymore.
He hoped.
Please, God, let me read her right. Don’t let me lose her.
“I’ve already healed some,” he said, taking a practice run up to the big hurdle. “I might need some TLC for the rest. You could nurse me until I can take you back to Saint Mark’s like I promised. Unless you have other plans.”
In his condition he couldn’t hold his breath, but his heartbeat was on hold waiting for her answer.
She lifted her chin. “De Carlo said that your ATSA assistant director authorized new plane tickets for me.”
His free hand gripped the bedsheet. “Oh.”
“But the date’s open on them.”
He sighed. “You’re a wicked tease. You know that?”
“Only with you. But I’m going to be direct so we understand each other. You prodded me these past few weeks to assert myself. So here goes. What I said at the farmhouse, I meant. I am in love with you. And I think you love me.”
His heart started again, then leaped over track hurdles his body couldn’t. He lifted their joined hands to his lips and searched for the words. He had to get this right.
She peered at him, apprehension in her eyes. “Well?”
“Yes, Sophie. I love your breathless charm, your kindness. You’re so beautiful and you seem so fragile that I want to protect you, but you have Amazon strength inside.”
He paused to catch his breath, inhaled oxygen. He made himself breathe deeply, past the stone-slab pressure.
“Are you okay? Should I get the nurse?” Fear flashed in her eyes, and she started to turn away.
Shoving away the pain, he tugged her back. “I’m fine. Let me finish. You blow me away. I love that you made me search my soul and find myself. I love your name. I love saying it. Sophie, Sophie, Sophie, I love you.”
Tears welled in her eyes, and her lip trembled. “Oh, my. I don’t know what to say.”
“That’s a first.” He handed her the tissue box sitting beside his bed. “I don’t want to screw this up, so I’ll warn you. My ex-wife said I was too distant. Too reserved.”
“Yeah, right. You think?”
He grinned. She knew him too well already. He patted the bed beside him. “I never told her I loved her. I let the distance grow. What love used to be between us died. There’s more to communication than those three words, and the break wasn’t all my fault, but you get the idea. I don’t want to make the same mistakes with you.”
“I won’t let you.” Smiling, Sophie eased down to sit on the bed. She clasped his hand again. “So I have to make you tell me at least twice a day that you love me. Maybe three times. You could say it again now.”
“Sophie, I love you.” He tugged her closer, nudging the oxygen tube aside so he could rock his mouth over hers. Her tongue caressed his as she kissed him back.
He let the taste and the scent and the feel of her flow through him, a healing balm better than any medicine.
When the kiss ended, she gazed at him with serious intent, no more teasing. “I want you in my life, but I know what you said about danger to family. More than most, I appreciate the hazards of your job.”
“I was seeing through a prism of grief and hatred. Cops of all kinds have families. What happened with Vadim was one in a million. De Carlo, of all people, reminded me of that.”
After he’d inhaled more oxygen, he said, “What about your search for independence?”
“Independence doesn’t mean I have to be alone. I’ve done some thinking, too, learned some things about myself. You know those cousins in Florence?”
He nodded. “Their addresses were in your suitcase.”
“When my memory returned, I remembered meeting them. I think that was the reason I blocked out the entire vacation, not just Vadim. My cousin Enrico is a professor at the University of Florence, and his sister is a nurse.”
His grin nearly blinded her. “I’d laugh if it didn’t hurt like hell. Teaching and nursing—professions you were trying to deny.”
“Exactly. You said I was fighting my true nature. You were right. I loved teaching the Donati kids and helping them develop and grow.”
“No wonder you couldn’t figure out your direction. You were in a tunnel and ignoring the light at the end.”
She smiled. “After I nurse you back to health, I want to finish my degree—in education.”
“Sounds like a plan. But an incomplete one.” He kissed her nose. “Marry me, Sophie. I want to wake up beside you every morning. I want to cook pasta and Tuscan chicken with you. Make babies with me, Sophie. I love you.”
There, he’d said it again. Easier the second time. Or was it the third?
Her eyes widened. She pressed a hand to her heart. “Oh, my, once again I’m speechless.”
“All you need is one word. Sophie, say yes and let me breathe again. I have only one healthy lung here.”
A slow smile curved her lips. More tears sparkled on her lashes. “Yes, Jack, I’ll marry you and make babies with you.”
Waves of joy and relief nearly lifted him off the bed.
Propping herself so she wouldn’t hurt him or her shoulder, she kissed him gently.
He couldn’t hold her as tightly as he wanted, but he could sate himself on her taste. Her mouth was sweet and insistent, and when lack of breath made him pull back, he ached for more.
She squeezed his hand. “David will always be your son. Will you take me to the cemetery in Miami? I want to put flowers on his grave and say a prayer. For Tonia, too.”
“We had our differences, but she was a good mother.” Then his throat clogged for some reason, so he merely nodded and kissed her again.
Happiness burst inside him like Fourth of July sparklers, disintegrating the remnants of the clawed monster that had tormented him for what seemed like eons.
Her mind had blotted out her painful and deadly memories, and he had obsessed on his until they’d poisoned him.
No longer.
He couldn’t change the past any more than he could forget it, but he could choose to move on.
Together Jack and Sophie would make a new future.
ISBN: 978-1-4268-5966-3
DEADLY MEMORIES
Copyright © 2006 by Susan Hofstetter Vaughan
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