“Graham?”
“Addy! Are you… is everything all right?”
“I…”
“What?”
“It’s so much harder than I thought it would be.”
I closed my eyes. I knew how tough it would be. “Yeah, but you just got there, right? It’ll get better.”
Addy breathed into the phone. Was she crying? “I hope so.”
“Did you meet Amber yet?”
“Yeah, she’s great.”
“That’s good.” I tossed my gloves on the ground and leaned against the fence. “So… how long have you been there?”
“A couple of hours, I guess.”
I rubbed my hand down my face. To me it felt like she’d been gone a month. “How’s your room? Is it nice?”
“Yeah, it’s… okay.”
“Addy? Is something wrong?”
“Oh Graham, I miss you so much.” Her voice caught on the last word.
“I miss you too.” I knew this was going to be hard, but I hadn’t realized my chest would actually feel like it was being crushed.
“I wish…”
“What do you wish?” I flexed my fingers, wishing I could caress her face, see her eyes, kiss her lips.
“That you were here.”
So do I. “You’ll get busy with classes and then it won’t… seem too bad.” Would I be able to convince myself of that?
“That’s what Amber said.”
“So, she’s nice? Think you’ll be a good fit as roommates?” I want to be your roommate…
“I think we will.”
Loud laughter filtered through her end of the phone. Male voices. Young. I frowned. “Addy? You still there?”
“Hold on.” Something clicked. “I closed the door to my room. Amber is down the hall checking out the study area.”
“So… who was laughing? Somebody’s brother?”
Silence. What wasn’t she saying?
“No, there’re guys here.”
“Here… where’s here? You mean visiting the dorm?”
“Not exactly.”
“Then…” I squeezed my hand at my side into a fist. What guys were right outside a girl’s dorm room? It had sounded like a whole group of them.
“Graham, I wasn’t keeping it from you, I promise. I didn’t even know until I got here.”
“Know what?” Pressure built up inside my chest.
“My dorm is co-ed.”
Visions of Addy leaving the shower in only a towel and walking past other guys in her hall nearly knocked me on my ass. “Oh.”
“Honestly, I didn’t know.”
“I believe you. Um, do these guys… are they living next door?”
“Oh, no. The floors are alternating every-other girls and guys, but they’re allowed on the floor until midnight.”
Great. “Oh.”
“Are you upset?”
I want to rip someone’s head off. “Of course not. I should have guessed it might be that way. Besides, I trust you, Addy.”
“I know you do. I just wasn’t expecting it, I guess. I’m good with it, just surprised.”
Time to change the subject. “So, when’s your first class?”
“Tomorrow.”
“Which one?”
“English Lit.”
“Are you looking forward to it?”
“Yeah, it will be okay. As long as it’s not calculus. I have that on Wednesdays.”
“Addy, you do realize that to be a vet, you’re probably going to have to take several math classes, right?”
“Unfortunately, yeah. Are you any good at it?”
“Math? Pretty good. Why?”
“I might need help studying.”
“You’d want me to help you?”
“Sure. If you’d want to, I mean.”
I smiled as something warm curled around my heart. She wanted me to help her. “I could do that. Might cost you, though.”
“Oh yeah? Like what?” I could almost picture her smile, with dimples forming in her cheeks.
“I’m sure I can come up with something.”
She giggled. “I just bet you can.”
My uncle waved at me from the barn. “Oh, listen, Addy. My uncle is trying to get my attention, so I’d better get back to work.”
“Oh. Sure.”
She sounded so depressed I could picture the light going out of her eyes and her mouth turning down at the corners. “I’m sorry. How about I call you later tonight?”
“I’d like that. Talk to you later.”
“I love you.”
“Love you… too.”
A sniff at the end of the last word let me know she was crying. I disconnected the call and headed for the barn, feeling like my heart had been torn from my chest and a cow had stomped on it.
Addy, my sweet Addy. I just don’t see how we’re going to make this work with you there and me here. We’ll stay together, but why does it have to be so hard?
Uncle Robert was stacking some bales of hay when I walked into the barn. “Got time to help me?”
His voice was gruff but I knew from his smirk that he wasn’t really upset.
“I guess I could find the time.” I hoisted a bale in each hand and placed them on the stack.
Uncle Robert shook his head. “You do the work of two men. I sure am going to miss you around here.”
I stared at him.“Am I going someplace?”
“Aren’t you?”
I picked up two more bales and heaved them on the stack. “Maybe you should tell me what you’re talking about. Giving your nephew the boot?”
Uncle Robert shook his head. “Nah. You know you’ve got a job here for as long as you want. But you and I both know it’s not what you want to do forever.”
I rubbed the back of my neck. “Yeah, well, I wasn’t thinking of leaving right yet. What makes you think I am?”
“I‘ve seen the way you moon around over that Addy. She’s the one for you, ain’t she?”
“Can’t put anything over on you, can I?”
“When I met your Aunt Eileen, I knew that very day that I would marry her.”
I leaned against the wall and crossed my arms and grinned. “You did?”
“Yep. When it’s right, it’s right. Ain’t no use waiting around.”
“What are you saying?”
“If you love this Addy, then what are you waiting for?”
“I’m not sure I follow. She just left for college yesterday.”
“So go after her.” Uncle Robert pointed toward the open barn door as if he expected me to leave right that second.
“And do what? Go to college?”
“Why not?”
I shrugged. “I tried it, remember?”
“Yeah, but you didn’t have a reason to go before. You didn’t have a girl you were wantin’ to marry.”
I held up both hands. “Whoa. Marry?”
“Well ain’t ya?”
“Sure I want to marry her, but don’t you think she’s kinda young?”
“Same age your aunt was when we got married.”
“Oh yeah?”
He nodded. “It don’t matter the age. It’s what’s in the heart that matters.”
I studied him. “Wow. Gettin’ deep in here, Uncle Robert.”
He slugged my shoulder. “Get back to hauling those bales, Graham, and don’t forget to let me know when your last day of work is.”
I grabbed two more bales. Marry? Would Addy go for that? She’d told that Ali creep she didn’t want to get married, but was that just because it was him or because she was only eighteen?
But how would that work? I couldn’t just spring it on her right after she’d started classes. And I hadn’t even thought about what I might want to take. Maybe it would be smarter to start at the winter semester. That way I could help Uncle Robert through the fall when things were busier.
I finished loading the bales and walked back outside. Was I seriously considering this?
I closed my eyes, picturing Addy’s face, her eyes, her lips. I couldn’t believe it had been less than twenty-four hours since we’d said goodbye. If I was this messed up already, and I knew she was the one for me, maybe Uncle Robert was right. What was there to wait for? Time apart would only make us more miserable.
Well, unless Addy didn’t want to get married. There was always that. No. I knew she loved me. She’d said I was hers and she was mine forever. And she sounded so upset when I talked to her, not like she was glad to be there. But was that just nervousness from the newness of being away from home?
Time to find out. I gave some thought to what I would say to her that night when I called. It needed to be more than just whatever came out of my mouth at the moment. Time to grow up, Graham.
Uncle Robert was right. When I’d been at college briefly before, I didn’t have a reason to be there. But now I did. If I wanted to marry Addy, then I needed to have a game plan. Wasn’t that what Addy had talked about for herself? A life plan, she called it. Pretty responsible for someone just out of high school. And here I was, nearly twenty-two with no future plans in sight.
That was about to change.
I finished my work day several hours later and grabbed a shower. What would my folks say to me getting married to someone I’d only known a short time? My mom was peeling potatoes when I walked into the kitchen. “Need help?”
She turned and smiled. “No. But thanks. Hard day of work?”
I shrugged. “The usual, I guess.” I grabbed a soda from the fridge and sat down at the kitchen table. The drum of my fingers tapping the tabletop seemed to explode throughout the room. What would my mom think of my idea? My mouth didn’t seem to want to form the question. I wanted to ask her what she thought of my idea, but I also didn’t want to. Not that they could stop me, I was nearly twenty-two, but it never hurt to have family support.
“Something the matter, Graham?”
Startled from my thoughts, I squinted up to see Mom staring at me, knife in one hand, potato in the other. “Not the matter, really.”
“May as well tell me. That’s where you always sit when you have something on your mind.”
Blinking in surprise, I glanced about the room. “I do?”
“Sure. Everything from you having a fight with the boys who used to live next door to losing your favorite baseball to that dog down the road.” She set down her knife and the potato and sat across from me. “But I’m guessing this is something more. Maybe about Addy?”
I frowned. “How do you know that?”
Mom chuckled. “Because your aunt likes to tell everything she knows, and she had talked to Addy on the phone, remember?”
“Right.”
“So, why don’t you just tell me what’s on your mind so I can get back to peeling those potatoes for supper.” She laughed and rolled her eyes. “’Cause you know that’s my favorite thing in the world to do.”
I let out a breath. Here goes… “Well, you’re right that it’s about Addy. She and I…”
“It’s serious, then?”
I nodded. “I know it happened quick but—”
“That doesn’t matter. It’s what’s in your heart that counts.”
“You sound like Uncle Robert.”
“He is my brother, after all. Go on.” She gestured with her hand. “I know there’s more.”
“Addy just left yesterday for college and I’m—”
“Miserable?”
“Yeah.” I took a swig of my drink, hoping not to get choked up in front of my mom.
“So, you’re thinking of doing something so you won’t be so miserable?”
I grinned. “Maybe I don’t need to tell you anything. You already seem to know.”
“Experience, Graham. Your dad and I hadn’t known each other that long either. We got married just six months after we met. And we’ve been married over twenty-five years. Happily, I might add.”
“Yeah, it’s obvious you guys like being around each other.”
“I guess what I’m saying is, if you’re sure, really sure that she’s the one — and she feels the same?” She raised her eyebrows in question.
I nodded.
“Then, do what you feel is right.”
I ran my finger down the side of my can of soda. “What if I’m thinking of maybe going to college where she does?”
Mom smiled. “I think that would be wonderful.”
“You do?”
“If it’s what you want.”
“I like working with Uncle Robert, but—”
“But it’s not what you want to do forever?”
“Right.” I shrugged.
One side of her mouth rose in a smile. “I wondered when you would come to that realization.”
“You knew? Before I did?”
“Graham, I’ve always known you’re meant for bigger things than doing grunt work on someone else’s farm. It’s not like the farm would ever come to you, you know, with your two younger cousins wanting it when they get older. So there’s not much of a future there for you.”
“I know. I’ve thought of that.”
“Do you know what you might want to study?”
“No, but I thought maybe if I took several classes, something might appeal to me. Then I could pursue whatever it was.”
“I think that sounds like a good plan. Not everyone knows exactly what they want to do for a living right off the bat.”
I glanced to the floor and back to the drink in my hand.
“Is there something else?”
I glanced back up at her. “I was thinking that maybe… Addy and I could…”
She watched me and waited. Did she know what I was thinking? She hadn’t seemed surprised about anything else I’d said.
“Here’s the thing, I love her. I want to… be with her. But I don’t want to, uh…” I lifted my hand, not sure how to say it without saying it.
Mom placed her hand over mine. “For lack of a better term, you want to make an honest woman of her?”
I felt heat creep up my neck. I didn’t usually have this kind of conversation with my parents, with anyone for that matter. But my mom already seemed to know. “Yeah. That’s it exactly.”
“So, you’re thinking of maybe getting married? Maybe sometime soon?”
I stared at her. “Either you’re a mind reader or you’re just very smart.”
She chuckled and stood up. “I’ll take that as a compliment.” She picked up the potato and knife again. “Graham, if you’re sure this is the right person for you, I am totally behind you.” She pointed the knife in the direction of my bedroom. “Now go call the girl and stop bothering me.”
I laughed and headed upstairs.
Chapter Twenty-one
Addy
My first week of classes was interesting. My English Lit professor had a sense of humor, so I knew that would help with keeping the class interesting. Biology would be okay, too, but I couldn’t wait until I could take the science classes that were specifically geared toward my major.
Calculus was the big worry, of course, since I never understood much of it. That had always been hard for me. Too bad Graham wasn’t here to help me study. Although if he were here, we probably wouldn’t get a lot of studying done. I smiled, remembering his kisses and hugs, the way his hands roamed over my stomach and chest. Then my smile fell. It hurt so bad to not be able to see him, be with him. Phone conversations just weren’t cutting it.
I stepped onto the elevator and checked my phone for the millionth time since this morning. I had hoped Graham would call today. We’d had a great talk last night, though. Not about anything specific, but I sensed some kind of excitement from him. All week long I’d had that feeling. He wouldn’t say what was going on, but it was almost like he had something really great to tell me.
I climbed the two flights of stairs and got to the room. The door was open and Amber was sitting on her bed, crying.
“Amber, what happened?” I dropped my purse and
books on my desk and hurried over to her.
She wiped her eyes with a tissue. “Oh Addy. You’re going to hate me.”
“Don’t be silly. Why would I—”
“I can’t stay.”
“What do you mean? You want to change rooms?” Did she not want to be my roommate anymore?
She shook her head, her ponytail whipping from side to side. “I c-can’t stay here. At college.”
I blinked. “But we just got here.”
She grabbed my hand. “I’m so sorry. It isn’t you. You’re wonderful. I just… it’s too hard, being away from home and my parents. And being away from…”
“Your boyfriend?”
“Yeah.”
I squeezed her hand. “Are you sure? I mean, maybe if you gave it a little more time.”
“No. I’ve thought about it. If I leave now, I can drop my classes and my parents won’t have to pay the full amount for them. They said they’d still pay my room for the semester, though.”
“Oh.” I hadn’t thought about that. I didn’t like the idea of having to pay for a room all by myself. Maybe I could get another roommate, although by now, that was doubtful.
“They insisted. Said it wouldn’t be fair to you to have to pay it all.”
I was stunned. “That’s… really nice of them.”
“Addy, are you upset with me?”
I looked up at her. Red eyes from crying. Crumpled tissue in her hand and several more on the bed behind her. An expression of sadness that I’d only seen when I looked in the mirror. “No. I’m not mad. Believe me, I get it.”
She threw her arms around my neck and squeezed me tight. “I hope… I really want to stay in touch with you, Addy.”
“I’d like that.” I sat back. “When do you think you’ll go?”
“My parents are on their way.”
“Now? Oh, wow.”
“But if you’d rather I—”
“No. If that’s what you need to do, then you should go.” A huge part of me wished I could go home too. I envied her.
I let out a sigh and glanced across the room. It was then I noticed her suitcases and boxes stacked by the door. When I’d come in I was so intent on finding out what was wrong that I hadn’t even seen them.
Amber acted relieved after talking to me and went to the restroom to try to do something to repair her makeup. I walked to the window by my bed. I hadn’t known her very long, but I would miss her. In the short time we’d shared a room, we’d hit it off.
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