by K. C. Mills
“I guess you heard that, boo,” Karma said, as she watched Logic moving around the building.
“You’re so bipolar. How do you go from giving him the third degree to jumping on his side?”
Karma laughed. “I’m good with him as long as he’s good with you, and apparently he’s good with you.”
Joy just shook her head and glanced at Logic. She couldn’t help but smile at him, as he moved around Intrigued. The people in there loved him, mostly women, but it was clear that he was that guy and she knew what came with that. Logic reminded her of Rah and anything that reminded her of Rahjee Baker wasn’t a good thing. She just hoped that their similarities were just that - similarities. Rah and Joy dated for three years while she was in college, and he was everything to her. The problem was that he was everything to every other female that smiled at him the right way.
Rah was a drug dealer turned football star. As much as he loved the streets, he loved football even more, so he accepted a scholarship to Georgia Tech and became the hottest wide receiver that tech had ever seen. Rah just couldn’t let the streets go, so after his sophomore year he got caught up with the wrong people, doing the wrong thing and lost his scholarship. Rah went right back to his first home and never looked back.
At 6’4”, 250 pounds of perfectly defined muscle, Rah was basically physical perfection. His caramel colored skin was flawless, with the exception of a few battle scars, and his green eyes would have her panties soaked every time she looked into them. As perfect as this man was, he was unfaithful, arrogant and abusive. Joy loved him so much that she put up with it for three years, with his promises that he would change and when he never did, she finally found the strength to walk away. That was when she met Cedric and tried to make it work. He was so different from Rah that she figured he was what she needed, but Joy definitely had a type and Cedric wasn’t it. She tried but he wasn’t what she wanted or needed.
Now, here was Logic and she couldn’t help but wonder if he would turn out to be another bad decision. But, either way she had to have him, so he was a risk worth taking.
“What you thinking about boo?” Karma asked after watching Joy zone out for the past five minutes.
“You don’t even want to know.” Joy knew that Karma hated Rahjee.
Karma frowned while trying to figure out what could possibly be on Joy’s mind so heavy.
“Rah,” Joy said and then waited for Karma to explode.
“Oh hell no, don’t even go there, Joy. Fuck Rah and everything about him,” Karma said so aggressively that Joy hated that she even brought up his name.
“I’m not, trust me, but I can’t help but notice the similarities. I mean-”
“Logic is not Rah, Joy. Rah was a certified asshole and I will never understand why it took you so long to see that. If I saw his ass right now I swear I’d fuck him up. He broke you Joy! I hate him for that and you should too.”
“Calm down. I’m over Rah and I hate him just as much as you do. But it’s hard not to think about him. We were together for three years, K, and it wasn’t all bad.”
“The hell it wasn’t! How many times did you catch him with the next bitch and how many times did he put his hands on you because you did? Fuck him Joy, he doesn't deserve your thoughts or memories, so don’t even go there.”
Joy didn’t say another word about it. She knew that it was a losing battle to try and convince Karma that there was any good in Rah at all, but there was. She had seen it before; it was the only thing that kept her there for so long, but Joy also knew that Rah could be the devil himself. It didn't take much for him to turn, but all in all, she loved him and he loved her. As screwed up as it was, he would always be a part of her.
Just as Joy finished her thought, she looked up right into Logic’s eyes. He smiled at her from across the room, as he helped a local band set up that was about to perform. His smile sent chills through her and wiped out any thoughts of Rah that were still lingering. Her past was her past and right now, the only thing that mattered was the future she planned on building with Logic.
-10-
Logic could feel himself drifting, as he lay in his bed with Joy’s back pressed firmly against his chest. His hand was positioned on her stomach and her hands covered his, creating a certain peace that he had been missing for a while.
“What happened to your brother?” Joy’s question was so random that it took Logic to adjust his thoughts and answer.
“He was shot.”
“Oh.” Joy didn’t know what else to say, and she wanted to know more but didn’t know if she should ask.
Logic tightened his hold on Joy and kissed her collarbone before he let his chin rest on her shoulder. He inhaled and let it out slowly because other than with his family and Luther, he hadn’t really expressed his feelings about it and even with them, he hadn’t really talked about how it was breaking him down. He missed his brother and it felt like a part of him was buried with him.
“I miss him,” Logic said randomly.
“I know it can't be easy,” Joy said.
“I feel like it’s my fault. If it wasn’t for me, he would have never been caught up in the bullshit he was in.”
Joy could feel the tension in Logic’s body the more in depth their conversation got about his brother.
“I know that my vote really doesn’t count, but I know that you wouldn’t put your brother in harm’s way. And if he was anything like you, then I can guarantee that he was going to do things his way. So like it or not, I don’t really believe that there was anything you could have done differently.”
“The fuck you mean? You don’t know shit about it so don’t try and analyze me or the situation.” Logic pulled away from Joy. His feet hit the floor and his hands covered his face before they slowly moved across his head. He was angry at himself but taking it out on Joy, and as much as he hated that, he couldn’t control it.
Joy froze for a minute because of the aggression coming from Logic. In that moment, she couldn’t help but think about Rah and how fast he would turn on her. When Joy snapped out of her moment, she climbed out the bed on the opposite side and began grabbing her clothes off the floor. Logic could feel her moving behind him, but needed a minute before he could calm himself enough to address the situation. When he was ready, he stood and moved towards Joy with a calmness that he had to fight hard to maintain.
He reached for her, but she backed away and pulled her shirt over her head.
“Don’t do that, don’t look at me like that.” Logic’s voice was calm and controlled but it wasn’t enough to change Joy’s mind about leaving.
“I’m sorry, it wasn’t my business, and I shouldn’t have-”
Again Logic reached for Joy, but this time he wrapped his arms around her to stop her movement. He could feel her chest heaving from the rapid pace of her breath. “Come on shorty, don’t do that. You didn’t say or do anything wrong. This shit is on me.”
Logic pulled back just enough to look at Joy, but not enough for her to break away from him. She looked so angry and hurt that he instantly felt like shit. He let her go, but caught her arm tight enough so that she couldn’t get away from him. Logic moved to the bed, pulling her with him, and she fell into him because his bed was damn near on the floor.
“I don’t talk about what happened because it’s frustrating as hell. My brother died because I trusted the wrong person so like it or not, that shit is on me. That was my baby brother and it was up to me to make sure he was good, so whether or not I was the one who pulled the trigger or the one who put the person in his life that did, it’s on me.”
Logic looked down at Joy and waited for her to speak.
“I get that, but that’s a lot of weight to carry. You didn’t know; there’s no way you would have let something like that happen, so you can’t carry that all by yourself.”
“I guess the part that fucks with me the most is that I could feel it. Donte was always saying slick shit about Nard and how the streets were
showing him more love than they should have. He always laughed that shit off though, and he was my dude. We had been down since we were young as hell. He was like family so Nard was like family to him, or at least that’s what I thought, but that’s where I fucked up. The only loyalty niggas have is to themselves, and that fuck up cost my brother his life.”
Logic’s heart was heavy. He had been carrying that feeling for months now, but Joy was the first person he admitted it to. Not even his family knew that he blamed himself, and he knew they would never feel the same, but he couldn’t shake the feeling.
“I’m sorry,” was all Joy could say.
“Don’t be sorry shorty, you didn’t do anything.” Logic’s soft lips met hers as he spoke.
“Neither did you, but it’s still weighing on your heart,” Joy said, looking him right in his eyes. He didn’t know why, but her words freed him. He knew it wouldn’t last but for the moment, he actually felt like he could breathe; a feeling he hadn’t had since the day he watched them lower his brother in the ground. He laid back and pulled Joy into his body again, and closed his eyes. Neither of them said another word. They both just lay there in silence, stuck in their thoughts, but there was an understanding between the two of them that connected them in a way that neither of them ever expected.
***
“Hey boo, I’m going to need you to get up so we can get up out of here. I hope you’re not one of those people who needs like hours to get ready.”
Joy opened her eyes and looked right into the face of Najah and Nova, as they stood over Logic’s bed. Realizing that she was naked, Joy quickly grabbed the sheet and secured it around her chest, as she sat up and looked around the room, trying to focus.
“He’s not here boo. He took Trent and Nova’s son, Kenyan to get haircuts, so you’re stuck with us. You don’t mind do you?” Nova asked with what could have been mistaken as sarcasm.
“Um, no. He just didn’t tell me,” Joy said, as she struggled to stand while attempting to keep her body covered. She felt uncomfortable being naked in Logic’s bed with both of them staring at her.
Najah laughed. “Don’t be mad at him, he didn’t know and in fact, he wanted to wake you and tell you himself so that you wouldn’t freak out, but I wouldn’t let him.”
“You’re naked in my cousin’s bed, so we’re practically family boo. Now get dressed so we can hit the mall.”
“I just need to jump in the shower and then throw some clothes on. It shouldn’t take me long,” Joy said, as her eyes moved from Najah to Nova. She was nervous about being with the two of them without Logic as a buffer, but it didn’t seem like she had a choice.
“Hurry up, we’ll be out here,” Nova said.
“Chill hoe, she just got up and your ass is broke anyway, so I don’t know why you in a hurry,” Najah said with a smirk as she headed to the door. Nova followed, pulling the door closed behind her, and the first thing Joy did was grab her phone and her overnight bag, and went straight to the bathroom in the hallway. She could hear Nova and Najah going at each other, but she could tell they weren’t really arguing.
Once she shut the door and turned on the shower, she called logic.
He laughed when he answered. “My bad shorty, don’t kill me, but they weren’t taking no for an answer.”
“Killing you is being mild. You left me to spend the day with your sister and cousin, and I don't know anything about them. What if they hate me? I’m so mad at you right now.” Joy was trying to whisper but she was pissed.
Again, Logic laughed. “Trust me, shorty. They don’t hate you or they wouldn’t be giving you the time of day. Najah and Nova are funny like that. They don't fuck with too many people, and they wanted to spend the day with you, so you’re good. Just be yourself and you’ll be fine.”
“Yeah, easy for you to say.”
“I’ll make it up to you, I promise. I took the day off so we’ll meet up later, and I’ve got something special planned. Have fun and you better pray you say all the right shit or they’re going in on you.”
“Logic, that’s not funny.”
“I know, I’m serious as hell.”
“Logic…”
Now he was really laughing. “Uncle Auggie, hang up so we can finish this game.”
“Yo, I’ve gotta go, but you’re good and I got you later, I promise. I put a key to my place on your key ring. Make sure you lock my shit up and no matter what my sister says, do not let her get her hands on that key.” Logic laughed but hung up, so Joy rolled her eyes and sighed. Lord, help me get through this day.
Thirty minutes later, she had showered and dressed and was walking out of Logic’s front door. She used the key he left for her, and they made their out way to Najah’s car since she volunteered to drive, and were en route to the mall of Georgia.
“So you have a key to Auggie’s place?” Nova asked from the back seat, since she insisted that Joy sit up front with Najah.
“No, I mean yeah, but he put it on my key ring this morning.”
“Relax boo, it’s cool. I like you,” Najah glanced at Joy. There was something about Joy that she was feeling and if nothing else, the way her face lit up every time her brother’s name was mentioned, she knew that Joy was really feeling him.
“I’m good, this is just weird.”
Nova laughed. “Oh no baby, you haven’t seen weird. We treated that bitch Myesha weird. Auggie was with her for two years and I don’t think I said more than two sentences to that hoe until they finally ended things, and then I cussed that hoe out for telling Auggie he was a bitch because he was getting out the game after Nard died.”
“Wait, he dated somebody for two years and you didn’t talk to her?” Joy asked, curious about what that was all about.
“Yep, that bitch didn’t deserve my words,” Najah said.
“Well I guess I should feel honored then,” Joy said, and then smiled at Najah. She felt a little more relaxed but it was still going to be a long day.
“So what’s up with the two of you anyway? You don’t seem like the type to like a guy like my brother.” Najah looked over at Joy briefly, and then focused on the road again.
Joy shrugged, but looked out the passenger window for a second to get her smile under control before her eyes fell on Najah. “I can’t really explain it but… I just like him. I know what you probably think about me, but don't let that fool you. I’m just me and I’ve dated guys like your brother before; in fact, that’s really all I've ever dated.”
“Mmm, so you like thugs, huh,” Nova said, which made Najah turn and roll her eyes at her cousin.
“Auggie ain't no thug.”
“Hoe please, who you trying to impress with that lie. Google that shit and Auggie’s pictures comes up. Hell, he’s as street as they come, he just got that damn misunderstood poetic shit in his blood too, but try that nigga and get handled. You know that just like I do,” Nova said and laughed at herself.
“Whatever, but you know what I mean.”
“No hoe, I know what you trying not to mean, but Auggie is a damn thug.”
Najah laughed and I just shook my head at both of them. This was about to be an interesting day.
We made our way through the mall, laughing and talking about anything and everything. I found out that Najah had a son from Donte’s little brother, Fez, and that he wasn’t involved in Trent’s life. Logic hated him because he used to beat Najah, and when she was eight months pregnant, he beat her so bad that she went into labor and almost lost her son, who was born a month early because of it. Logic beat Fez so bad that he was in the hospital for three weeks, and the only reason why he didn’t kill him was because Donte begged him not to. Donte and Logic were apparently really close and Donte convinced Logic to let it go. Logic let it slide as long as Fez agreed to stay away from Najah and Trent, which was never an issue because Fez didn't want to be a father anyway. So Logic stepped up and was basically the man in Trent’s life.
They also filled Joy in on the relation
ship with Myesha, which according to them was a disaster in the making. Myesha was a hood rat as they called her, and she slept around more than a little bit. They never understood what Logic saw in her, but for some reason he had a soft spot for her. Najah said she knew for a fact that Myesha was fucking Donte the entire time she and Logic were together, but Logic never believed it. He didn’t want to believe that either of them would cross him like that, but once he got out the game for good, Myesha and Donte got real cozy.
“So they’re together?” Joy asked, processing what Najah and Nova were telling her about Logic’s ex, Myesha.
“She claims they’re not, but that hoe be driving around in his cars and always up in his face. I don’t know who she trying to fool but they’re fucking. Always have been if you ask me.”
“Wow,” was all that Joy said.
“Wow is right. I want to slap that hoe every time I see her, but Mini don’t play and she’ll kick my ass for fucking with her.”
“Girl, ain't nobody worried about Mini’s midget self,” Nova said and laughed. “She always trying to keep the peace.”
“Oh, so you bad now? Watch me tell Mommy you talking shit about her,” Najah said with a grin.
“Damn, so you gonna snitch on me cuz?” Nova rolled her eyes at Najah.
“I’m just saying, you better respect how Mini gets down.”
Joy looked at both of them and laughed, thinking about how their mom went in on Najah the night she was there because she kept going on about Logic and his women. Joy knew right then that despite her small size, their mother wasn’t anything to play with.
“I don’t know why you sitting there grinning. You fuck around and hurt my brother, you better run and hide, because Mini will be after your ass too. That’s her baby boy and she don’t play bout Auggie,” Najah said with a smirk.
“Well you don’t have to worry about that. If I had to put money on it, Logic will hurt me before I hurt him,” Joy said truthfully because it was what she was feeling.
“Girl please, you got that boy bringing you home to meet Mommy, giving you keys to his place and Mommy said he stayed at your place. You must have some platinum nah nah because you got my brother doing stuff I’ve never seen him do.”