On the Hooves of Horses

by Emma Taylor

  “Hmm. Here. Have this.” She said handing me a warm drink.

  “What is it, Rose?”

  “I’ll bring you another in the morning.” She added.

  “It smells gross. What is it for?”

  “For that nasty eye. It’s turmeric powder and warm milk. It will have you fixed up in a couple of days.” She said leaving.

  “Oh.” Was all I could think of saying. “See you in the morning.” She called back after herself. I laughed to myself. That was a whirlwind conversation if ever I had one! I really like Rose and her odd disposition.

  * * *

  I felt really bad for not being at home with Mum and Dad, but another day and I think the bruising won’t be so obvious. Rose’s little herbal remedy has worked a treat. She’s a wonder. Very left of centre, someone that I normally wouldn’t gravitate towards, but nonetheless, someone I’m glad that I did.

  “You had your man up late last night.” She stated on the trip into Hobart. I’m so relieved to be getting Haylie’s jacket back. Somewhat a little apprehensive, too. I mean, what if it was ruined? What if it doesn’t smell like her anymore? Or God forbid, what if they have lost it?

  “Jayde?” Rose broke my train of thought.

  “Oh, no, not really. I think he stayed up a bit later than me, but no later than usual.”

  “His eyes were popping out of his head this morning. He looked like he pulled the red eye shift last night. I thought it must’ve had something to do with you.”

  I started to blush.

  “If I know my boy right and trust me I do, I think he might have a little something in stall for you.” She winked at me. Ah, bet he was developing Seb’s photo reels.

  “He usually does try to surprise me. But that’s cool, Rose. I actually already know what this one is.”

  “You do?” As sweet as Rose is, she can’t lie to save herself. I laughed out loud.

  “Yep. He came clean. He is doing something for me.” I left it at that, but Rose looked at me dissatisfied.

  “Well, my sister’s boyfriend, Sebastian had a stack of undeveloped photos. His parents gave them to mine after Seb and Haylie died. He was obsessed with her, even they realised they would all be of Haylie. Obviously, I’ve never seen them, so Reed is putting them together for me.” I smiled at the thought.

  “What a sweetheart. You know, Jayde, a picture tells a thousand words.”

  “Yeah, thanks for that Rose.” I laughed.

  The dry cleaners were just opening their doors when I arrived. “Just give us a sec, love.” Said the middle aged women as she unlocked the sliding door. What’s another second when I’ve waited this long? She smiled at me and waved me through.

  “Up and early. What can I do for you?” She greeted me.

  “I have a jacket to collect…here is the ticket.” I reached into my jeans pocket.

  “Thanks, I’ll just check the repairs.” It felt like a life time that she was gone. I was so relieved when I saw her return that I hadn’t even noticed that she didn’t have Haylie’s jacket.

  “Sorry sweetie, it doesn’t appear to be there.”

  “W-w-what do you mean it’s not there?” I blurted.

  “I mean it’s not there-”

  “But it has to be there! You have to look again. Look again!” I yelled desperately.

  “Calm down. I just mean it’s not in the repairs section. It’s more than likely still in the laundry part. Just give me a moment to call the girls down stairs.” She seemed annoyed at me. I am annoyed at her. Does this woman not understand the importance of this garment?

  “Yep, no worries, Sue. Bye then.” She hung up the phone. “On its way. Don’t worry love, the man who bought it in said it had sentimental meaning. It’s been treated with the upmost importance.” Jayde, you horrible person. This poor woman doesn’t need you on her case to start the day.

  “Thank you.” I said meekly. Haylie’s jacket arrived in a black canvas suit bag, not the typical cheap, clear plastic cover normally reserved for dry cleaning. It was even minus the wire coat hanger, in its place was a curved wooden one. My smile had a mind of its own when I saw her tan leather jacket. It was just perfect. “Glad you’re pleased.” The women said softly. Reed had already paid for the repairs, so I nodded in appreciation and glided off slowly to find a spot that I could pause for a moment. Pulling the jacket out of its protective cover and up to my nose, I breathed in. I breathed in deeply. I didn’t want to breathe back out.

  “I can still smell you, Haylie,” I sobbed quietly. “I can still smell you.”

  “Miss! Miss!” I heard someone yelling. “Excuse me, Miss!” I turned to find the middle age women from the dry cleaners waving a piece of paper at me. “Here, this was in the pocket,” She said, running short on breath. “We found it before it went to laundry.”

  I reached my hand out to collect the note. I started to tremble. I took one look at the front. Haylie. That was all that was written. I knew instantly who the note was from.

  FIFTEEN

  I didn’t return home until Thursday. If I left it any longer, I’m sure my parents would have suspected something. Besides, the temptation of all of Seb’s photos just metres from me was putting my will power to the test. Reed has been doing double time trying to get it ready for me. Seers and Buckley are getting “Somewhat impatient with our young ingénue.” Put forward with a little bit of humour, yet it was still put out there. So I really have to make use of Mr. Harper’s state of the art equipment. With all this in mind, Reed is doing his best.

  The temptation for the photos held a different desire than that of the note. I was still tempted to read the note that Haylie had in her jacket, yet, I felt unease toward it. The photos, I was excited to see, but the note left me feeling cold. Perhaps it was a suicide note? I don’t know because I haven’t summoned the courage to read it yet. There was a feeling of darkness to it, like it was the end. The end of Seb and Haylie’s relationship? The end of their lives? The end of any happiness they had ever shared? Yes, it could be all of those things, but I have a feeling it held more to it than that. Am I ready to read this? I placed the note safely under my glass container from Rose. Secretly wishing that the sassafrass key of hope would cleanse the darkness. I went down stairs and found Dad in the kitchen. We smiled at each other as I took a seat at the Island bench.

  “I think I owe you an apology sweetheart.” Dad said as he brewed a fresh pot of coffee. I looked at him, confused.

  “No nightmares.” He stated matter of fact.

  “No Dad. No more nightmares.”

  “I’m so glad.” He rushed up and embraced me.

  “Dad, you’re hugging too tight.” I managed to wriggle out from his hold. He gently wiped away a few tears that had trickled from his blood-shot eyes. “Dad?”

  “Nothing, it’s nothing. Just been a terribly hard time of late. Nothing for you to worry about,” He said, returning to the coffee. “Now, I get the impression that I have scared away that young man of yours.” A statement, not a question, but one that dad waited for a reply to.

  “Don’t be silly, Dad. It probably looks that way, seeing he spent so much time here when you were away, but I can assure you, Reed really likes you.”

  “He spent a lot of time here?”

  “Yeah, doing odd jobs around the house. He’s a bit of a handy man. Mum likes to fuss over him. You know what she’s like.” See Reed, that’s all it was. Mum likes to fuss.

  “Always trying to please.” He added.

  “Gives her something to concentrate on, I guess. Hey, you haven’t seen my mobile have you? I can’t find it.”

  “No honey, I haven’t.”

  “I guess it will turn up.”

  I have decided to read the note tonight. I figure that if it is as bad as I am sensing, then at least I still have the photos to look forward to.

  “I’m going to head into the main street for breakfast this morning.” I called out to anyone who was listening.

  “Sur
e thing honey. Take your phone though, just in case things turn bad.” Mum quipped.

  “It certainly looks like a storm is brewing.”

  “Yeah, I can’t find it. I must have left it at Reed’s. No worries, though Mum, I’m sure there are still pay phones around.” I laughed. Mum brushed a hair that had escaped her neatly tied bun.

  “I like to hear you laugh. You and Haylie always laughed together.” She said fondly. “Most of the time I never knew what you were laughing about, but it was a lovely sound nonetheless.”

  “Most of the time we probably didn’t know what we were laughing about, either.” We would laugh so hysterically, edging each other on, that by the time our fits of laughter had ceased, we had forgotten the reason we had started laughing in the first place.

  “I miss her, Mum.” I said, wrapping my arms around her.

  “I know you do. I’m so sorry for that, honey.”

  There was something spectacular about running in Tasmanian weather. The air is so clean, so pure. The scent of nature all around. The pine trees that lined most of the bush land heading back into the main street of Orford had an organic smell. True to nature. I also found them mystical. They encapsulate the rugged and unforgiving wilderness growing behind them. From the outside looking in, it appeared perfect, but what dangers really lurked behind? Isn’t that the same with all things that appeared perfect? Scratch the surface and you are bound to find imperfections. The cafe was abuzz. Nothing unusual. The local cafe and the local pub were the two busiest businesses on the East Coast. I guess they kind of go hand in hand. Busy day at work, head to the pub. Feel less than ordinary the next day, head to the cafe. So the story goes.

  I waited in line, trying to stifle my stomach growls with the odd “Hmm, that looks good.” And “What to choose? What to choose?” I probably made myself look more out of place talking to myself rather than letting people know that at 9:30 in the morning I am famished, something perfectly normal. I have a feeling though that today is far from a normal day. I decided to try the famous lentil burger as recommended by my vegan confidant, Lucas. I never admitted it to him that day, but it did look amazing. Choosing a lounge chair in the corner of the cafe, I sat and waited patiently for my breakfast to arrive. It was a nice relatively quiet spot in the busy cafe where I wasn’t bothered too much by people walking past or tables too close to incidentally hear their conversations.

  “Your lentil burger and latte. Hope you enjoy.” The waitress placed the meal in front of me and left. I began stirring my coffee, contemplating all the events that have led me to where I am today. I would never in a million years have imagined that things would be as they are. My sister’s suicide. Leaving all that I have ever known behind. Landing a lucrative contract. Living in the coldest state of Australia-and beginning to like it! Being with Reed. Not to mention the fact that he is Rosco Aldino’s son, which of course is a huge bonus. But just for being the man that I want to spend the rest of my life with. He saw something in me that I didn’t. I was never the second twin or Haylie’s sister. To him, I was and am me. Just Jayde.

  I leaned back in the chair and smiled. “I’m ok Haylie.” I whispered. Looking through the glass I could see straight into Landscape, Rose’s shop. I smiled and nodded as she was doing the exact same thing as me. I giggled to myself. Oh, Haylie, what would you have thought of my strange but lovely friend? Over to the right of her shop I noticed two familiar figures heading hand in hand, in the direction of the beach. A big St. Bernard leading the way. Stopping just meters from the sand, the dog plopped down to wait for the two people who were deep in conversation with each other. Lucas put his hand on the small of Grace’s back. Leaning in, he kissed her. “Yes!” I punched the air in triumph. A few patrons turned to see the crazy woman in the corner, but I didn’t care. I’m glad my two friends have finally embarked on this journey together. I did feel slightly voyeuristic at this moment however, but it was the beginning and the beginning is only ever once.

  “Did you see what I did?” I said as I barged into Rose’s shop. My smile beaming.

  “Love is a splendid thing, Jayde.”

  “I’m so happy for them, Rose.” I twirled around her shop, landing on the prized three seater couch. “Rose? Who owns this?” I felt compelled to ask. I’m sure I’m not the first to ask, but today she spoke her first ever answer.

  “I do, Jayde. It was a gift from someone very dear to me.” Rose spoke articulately.

  “The person who bought it from the fisherman? I don’t understand why it was kept secret?”

  “Love is a splendid thing.” She chimed. “Oh how people would talk of the famous artist who actually felt enough to shower his lover with gifts.” My mouth gaped open in awe as she spoke. She turned to face me. “A great love lost is still a great love.” Rose winked at me before turning her back to hide her sadness. Walking over to her, I kissed the back of her hair. I recited a beautiful quote from a play that Haylie was in about Judy Garland. When I heard my sister speak the words on stage, it sent instant chills over my body. This was the perfect occasion to have them spoken again. I closed my eyes, my voice hushed. “For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.”

  I spent most of the day with Rose in her shop, talking of her love affair. As much as she enjoyed reliving the memories of her greatest love, I think she was just as happy to see me on my way. I felt privileged that Rose shared her precious memories with me, but she was ready to lock it back up and keep it hidden in her heart.

  “Jayde?” She said as I was opening the shop front door. “Thank you. It’s been a day of beginnings and endings.”

  “There’s always an end, Rose.” I thought back to the note.

  “Yes, dear. Though, sometimes the end is really just the beginning.” A warm smile crept over my face. “I like that,” I left with a skip in my step. “The end is just the beginning.”

  * * *

  I ran as quickly as I could, almost beating the rain, but just as I turned into our drive, it began to bucket down. It was cold. It felt like a mass of tiny needles piercing my skin. Neither Mum nor Dad’s cars were parked in the drive when I arrived home. I reached the porch and leapt from the bottom of the step and slammed my body into the door trying to escape the torrents.

  “Ah.” I let out a shriek followed by laughter. At least they left the fire going.

  I drew myself a bath as soon as I walked through the door. Easing into the hot steaming bath, I let my body float.

  “I wonder if this is what Heaven feels like…” I trailed off. The extra hot bath I ran was respite from all my aches and pains, both physically and emotionally. It didn’t take long before my eye lids started to droop. I let them shut only for the briefest of moments, but that was long enough for me to set the wheels in motion. I succumbed to the feeling of tiredness and let my mind drift into dreams. Haylie was dressed in a light blue flowing dress. It was so pale, it could have almost passed for white. Yet it had just enough hint of blue to bring out the colour in Haylie’s eyes. Her dress billowed down the silky tones of tan and caramel on the muscular horse. Her hair was fire red and much longer than when she was alive. It cascaded down her back. She looked so beautiful. Haylie was laughing as the horse galloped down the unfamiliar beach. Sebastian reached out for his sweetheart and they interlocked their hands, smiling sensually at each other. The horses kicked up their legs. They were dancing! Beads of sand flew up into the night sky and fell as if in slow motion, landing on the hooves of horses.

  A smile crept over my face when I opened my eyes again. That’s how I will remember the both of you.

  After drying myself off I got dressed in to a comfy velour tracksuit. I heard the phone ringing downstairs. No way would I get there in time. Besides, I think I have done my fair share of running today. No doubt they will ring back if it’s important. I retrieved my hair dryer from the bottom drawer and began to blow it dry. I was just about finished when I saw head lights coming do
wn our drive. I collected the note from my table and sat down on my bed and began to read.

  My dearest Haylie,

  There is nothing I want more than your forgiveness. Even above getting back with you. I don’t think I can continue to live knowing that there is no possible chance of your forgiveness. Knowing that I was the reason for your pain. You don’t have to take me back, Hay, but you do have to blame me and hate me and maybe one day, you will love me again.

  I want so much for things to be the way they were. The way they always were. Perhaps not the heated arguments we sometimes got into (although the passion we ignited in the make up sessions were pretty hot!) I could always tell when I had you. Your fire would just stop and you would look up at me with those sapphire blue eyes, twinkling mischievously, then the corners of your rose bud lips would quiver, fighting off a smile. I had you then Hay! I want to ride Tico with you along the beach, laughing and loving into the moonlight. I want you now, Hay. Now and always. I will forever regret my actions. They have burnt a hole in my heart and my soul, that will never dissipate. I do hope in time you can forgive me. I know that I have hurt you deeply and I will forever hold out hope that we might again re-unite. I will wait for you, Haylie. For as long as it takes, in this life and the next. This is all the worst timing, but I have accepted the job in Sydney. Perhaps it’s actually the best timing. Come with me! We can start over, just you and me. Please consider. I will look after you and promise from this day forward that I will never, ever hurt you, betray you or forsake you. Meet me at our point, Haylie, 12 noon.

  All my love, Seb. xxx I love you, babe.

  My head began to swirl and pop all at once. Haylie and Sebastian didn’t commit suicide! There was no way in the world. This wasn’t the end for them, it was just the beginning.

  “Jayde!” I heard Mum calling from the kitchen, breaking my thoughts. I saw more head lights dancing on my walls. I ran downstairs with Seb’s note in my hand. There was no longer a veil of darkness clouding the note. It demonstrated Seb’s hope for their love and as long as he had hope, then his life couldn’t have ended in suicide.