by J. Lynn
A friend.
My brother’s saving grace.
And the source of my crush.
But then a year ago, right at the start of my senior year in high school, when Jase had tagged along with Cam and visited home, he’d become something very complicated. Something that a part of me wanted nothing more than to forget about—but the other part of me refused to let go of the memories of his lips against mine or how his hands had felt skimming over my body or the way he had groaned my name like it had caused him exquisite pain.
Oh goodness . . .
My cheeks heated behind my sunglasses at the vivid memory and I turned my face to the window, half tempted to roll the window down and stick my head out. I so needed to pull it together. If Cam ever discovered that Jase had kissed me, he would murder him and hide his body on a rural road like this one.
And that would be a damn shame.
My brain emptied of anything to say and I so needed a distraction right now. The perspiration from the tea and my own trembling hands were making it hard to hold on to the cup. I could’ve asked Cam about Avery and that would’ve worked, because Cam loved talking about Avery. I could’ve asked about his classes or started talking about mine, but all I could do was think about the fact that I was finally going to see Jase in a situation where he couldn’t run away from me.
The thick trees on either side of the road started to thin out and through them, green pastures became visible. Cam turned onto a narrow road. The truck bounced on the potholes, making my stomach queasy.
My brows lowered as we passed between two brown poles. A chain link lay on the ground and off to the left was a small wooden sign that read WINSTEAD: PRIVATE PROPERTY. A large cornfield greeted us, but the stalks were dry and yellow, looking as if they were days away from withering up and dying. Beyond them, several large horses grazed behind a wooden fence that was missing many of its middle panels. Cows roamed over most of the property to the left, fat and happy looking.
As we drew closer, an old barn came into view. A scary old barn, like the one in The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, complete with the creepy rooster compass thing swiveling on the roof, and several yards beyond the barn was a two-story home. The once-white walls were gray, and even from the truck I could tell there was more paint peeling off than there was on the house. Blue tarp covered several sections of the roof and a chimney looked like it was half crumbling. Red dusty bricks were stacked along the side of the house, as if someone had started to repair the chimney but grew bored and gave up. There was also a cemetery of broken-down cars behind the barn, a sea of rusted-out trucks and sedans.
Shock rippled through me as I sat up a bit straighter. This was Jase’s farm? For some reason, I pictured something a little more . . . up-to-date?
Cam parked the truck a few feet back from the barn and killed the engine. He glanced over at me, following my stare to the house. Unlocking his seat belt, he sighed. “His parents have had a really hard time. Jase tries to help with the farm and stuff, but as you can see . . .”
The farm needed more help than Jase could provide.
I blinked. “It’s . . . charming.”
Cam laughed. “It’s nice of you to say that.”
My fingers tightened around the cup in defense. “It is.”
“Uh-huh.” He flipped his baseball cap around, shielding his eyes. Tufts of brown hair poked out from the back rim.
I started to speak, but movement out of the corner of my eyes caught my attention.
Racing out from the side of the barn, a little boy seated in a miniature John Deere tractor hooted and hollered, his chubby arms bone straight, his hands gripping the steering wheel, and a mop of curly brown hair shining under the bright August sun. Pushing the tractor from behind was Jase, and even though I could barely hear him, I was sure that he was making engine noises. They bounced along the uneven gravel and ground; Jase laughed as his little brother shouted, “Faster! Go faster!”
Jase appeased his brother, pushing the tractor so it zigged and zagged to a stop in front of the truck as Jack squealed, still clenching the steering wheel. Plumes of dust flew into the air.
And then Jase straightened.
Oh man, my mouth dropped open. Nothing in this world could’ve made me look away from the splendor before me.
Jase was shirtless and his skin glistened with sweat. I wasn’t sure what ethnicity he had in his family background. There had to be something Spanish or Mediterranean, because he had a naturally tan skin tone that remained that way all year round.
As he walked around the tractor, his muscles did fascinating things. His pecs were perfectly formed and his shoulders were broad. He had the kind of muscles one got from lifting bales of hay and tossing them places. Boy was ripped. His stomach muscles tensed with each step. He had a very distinctive six-pack. Totally touchable. His jeans hung indecently low—low enough that I wondered if he had on anything underneath the faded denim.
It was the first time I saw the full extent of his tattoo. Ever since I’d known him, I’d caught glimpses of it peeking out from his collar on his left shoulder and from under a shirtsleeve. I never knew what it was until now.
The tat was massive—an endless knot shaded in deep black, starting at the base of his neck, looping and twisting over his left shoulder and halfway down his arm. At the bottom, two loops opposite one another reminded me of snakes.
It was a perfect fit for him.
A flush spread across my cheeks and traveled down my throat as I dragged my gaze back up, mouth dry as the desert.
Sinewy muscles in his arms flexed as he pulled Jack out of the driver’s seat, lifting him into the air above his head. He spun around in a circle, laughing deeply as Jack shrieked and flailed.
Ovaries go boom.
He sat Jack down on the ground as Cam opened the driver’s-side door, yelling something at his friend, but I had no idea what he said. Jase straightened again, dropping his hands to his hips. He squinted as he stared into the truck.
Jase was absolutely gorgeous. You couldn’t say that about a lot of people in real life. Maybe celebrities or rock stars, but it was rare to see someone as stunning as he was.
His hair was a mess of rich russet waves falling into his face. His cheekbones were broad and well defined. Lips were full and could be quite expressive. A hint of stubble shaded the strong curve of his jaw. He didn’t have dimples like Cam or me, but when he did smile, he had one of the biggest, most beautiful smiles I’d ever seen on a guy.
He wasn’t smiling right now.
Oh no, he was staring into the truck with a searing intensity.
Parched as I was, I took a sip of the sweet tea as I stared through the windshield, absolutely enthralled by all the baby-making potential on display before me. Not that I was in a hurry to make babies, but I could totally get behind some practice runs. At least in my fantasies.
Cam eyed me and made a face like I’d lost my damn mind. I might have. “Dude, that’s his drink.”
“Sorry.” I flushed, lowering the cup. Not that it mattered. Wasn’t like Jase and I hadn’t swapped spit before.
On the other side of the windshield, Jase mouthed the word shit and spun around. Was he going to run away? How dare he? I had his sweet tea!
In a hurry, I unhooked my seat belt and pushed open the door. My foot slipped out of my flip-flop and because Cam just had to have a redneck truck, one that was feet off the ground, there was a huge difference between where I was and where the ground was.
I used to be graceful. Hell, I was a dancer—a trained, damn good dancer—and I had the kind of balance that would make gymnasts go green with envy. But that was before the torn ACL, before my hopes of dancing professionally ended when I came down from a jump wrong. Everything—my dreams, my goals, and my future—had been over in an instant.
And I was about to eat dirt in less than a second. There was no stopping it.
I reached out to catch the door, but came up short. The foot that was going to touch
the ground first was connected to my bum leg and it wouldn’t hold my weight. I was going to crash and burn in front of Jase and end up with tea all over my head.
As I started to fall, I hoped I would land on my face, because then at least I wouldn’t have to see his expression.
Out of nowhere, two arms shot out and hands landed on my shoulders. One second I was horizontal, halfway fallen out of the truck, and the next I was vertical, both feet dangling in the air for a second. And then I was standing, the cup of tea clutched to my chest.
“Good God, you’re going to break your neck,” a deep voice rumbled. “Are you okay?”
I was up close and personal with the most perfect chest I’d ever seen and I watched a bead of sweat trickle down the center of it and then over the cut abs, disappearing among the fine hairs trailing up from the center of his stomach, forming a line that continued under the band of his jeans.
Cam hurried around the front of the truck. “Did you hurt your leg, Teresa?”
No. I was fine. More than fine. I hadn’t been this close to Jase for a year and he smelled wonderful—like man and a faint trace of cologne. I lifted my gaze, realizing that my sunglasses had fallen off.
Thick lashes framed eyes that were a startling shade of gray. The first time I’d seen them, I had asked if they were real. Jase had laughed and offered to let me poke around in his eyes to find out.
He wasn’t laughing right now.
I swallowed, willing my brain to start working. “I have your sweet tea.”
Jase’s brows rose.
“Did you hit your head?” Cam asked, stopping beside us.
Heat flooded my cheeks. “No. Maybe. I don’t know.” Holding out the tea, I forced a smile, hoping it didn’t come across as creepy. “Here.”
Jase let go of my arms and took the tea, and I wished I hadn’t been so eager to shove it in his face, because maybe then he’d still be holding me. “Thanks. You sure you’re okay?”
“Yes,” I muttered, glancing down. My sunglasses were by the tire. Sighing, I picked them up and cleaned them off before slipping them back on. “Thanks for . . . um, catching me.”
He stared at me a moment and then turned as Jack ran up to him, holding out a shirt. “I got it!” the little boy said, waving the shirt like a flag.
“Thanks.” Jase took the shirt and handed over the tea. He ruffled the boy’s hair and then, much to my disappointment, pulled the shirt on over his head, covering up that body of his. “I didn’t know Teresa was with you.”
A chill skated over my skin in spite of the heat.
“I was out showing her the town so she knows her way around,” Cam explained, grinning at the little tyke, who was slowly creeping toward me. “She’s never been down here before.”
Jase nodded and then took back the tea. There was a good chance that Jack had drunk half of it in that short amount of time. Jase started to walk toward the barn. I was dismissed. Just like that. The back of my throat started to burn, but I ignored it, wishing I had kept the tea.
“You and Avery are coming to the party tonight, right?” Jase asked Cam, taking a sip of the tea.
“It’s the luau. We’re not missing that.” Cam grinned, revealing the dimple in his left cheek. “You guys need help setting it up?”
Jase shook his head. “The newbies are in charge of that.” He glanced over at me, and I thought for a second that he’d ask if I was coming. “I’ve got a few things to take care of here first and then I’m heading back home.”
A small hand tugged on the hem of my shorts, causing me to look down and into gray eyes that were both young and soulful.
“Hi,” Jack said.
I grinned. “Hi to you.”
“You’re pretty,” he said, blinking.
“Thank you.” It was official. I liked this kid. “You’re very cute.”
Jack beamed. “I know.”
I laughed. This boy was definitely Jase’s little brother.
“Alright, that’s enough, Casanova.” Jase finished off the tea and tossed the cup into a nearby garbage can. “Stop hitting on the girl.”
He ignored Jase, sticking out his hand. “I’m Jack.”
I took the little hand in mine. “I’m Teresa. Cam’s my brother.”
Jack motioned me down with his little finger and whispered, “Cam doesn’t know how to saddle a horse.”
I glanced over at the boys. They were talking about the party, but Jase was watching us. Our gazes collided, and like he’d been doing since I’d started at Shepherd University this past week, he broke eye contact with distressing speed.
A pang of disappointment lit up my chest as I returned my attention to Jack. “Want to know a secret?”
“Yeah!” His smile grew big and broad.
“I don’t know how to saddle a horse either. And I’ve never even ridden one before.”
His eyes grew as wide as the moon. “Jase!” he bellowed, spinning toward his brother. “She’s never ridden a horse before!”
Well, there went my secret.
Jase glanced at me, and I shrugged. “It’s true. They scare the crap out of me.”
“They shouldn’t. They’re pretty chill animals. You’d probably like it.”
“You should show her!” Jack rushed up to Jase, practically latching himself to his brother’s legs. “You could teach her like you teached me!”
My heart lurched in my chest, partially at the proposition of Jase teaching me anything and partially due to my fear of those dinosaurs.
“It’s ‘taught,’ not ‘teached,’ and I’m sure Tess has got better things to do than ride around on a horse.”
Tess. I sucked in a breath. It was his nickname—he was the only person who ever called me that. I don’t even know why he called me that, but I didn’t mind it. Not at all. While Jack demanded to know why I had told him my name was Teresa and Jase explained that Tess was a nickname, I was sucked back into the memory of the last time he’d called me by it.
“You have no idea what you make me want,” he said, his lips brushing my cheek, sending shivers down my spine. “You have no fucking clue, Tess.”
“Mind if I use the john before we get out of here? I’ve gotta get back,” Cam said, drawing my attention. “I promised Avery dinner before the party.”
“I’ll show you,” announced Jack, grabbing Cam’s hand.
Jase arched a dark brow. “I’m sure he knows where the bathroom is.”
“It’s okay.” Cam waved him off. “Come on, little bud, lead the way.”
The two of them headed off toward the farmhouse, and we were officially alone. A hummingbird took flight in my stomach, bouncing around like it was going to peck its way out of me as a warm breeze picked up, stirring the hairs that had escaped my ponytail.
Jase watched Cam and Jack jog over the patchy green grass like a man watching the last life preserver being occupied as the Titanic started to sink. Well, that was sort of offensive, as if being alone with me was equivalent to drowning while being nom-nommed by cookie-cutter sharks.
I folded my arms across my chest, pursing my lips. Irritation pricked at my skin, but his obvious discomfort stung like a bitch. It hadn’t always been like this. And it definitely had been better between us, at least up until the night he’d kissed me.
“How’s the leg?”
The fact that he’d spoken startled me and I stuttered. “Uh, it’s not too bad. Barely hurts anymore.”
“Cam told me about it when it happened. Sorry to hear that.” He paused. “When can you get back to dancing?”
I shifted my weight. “I don’t think I will.” The real answer was that I didn’t know. Neither did the doctors or the physical therapist or my dance instructor, but I’d rather prepare myself for never than believe that I could dance once again. I didn’t think I’d survive that heartbreak a second time. “So, yeah, that’s that.”
Jase’s brows knitted. “God, that sucks. I’m really sorry, Tess. I know how much dancing means to you.”
“Meant,” I murmured, affected more than I should’ve been by the genuine sympathy in his voice.
His gray eyes finally made their way back to mine, and I sucked in a breath. His eyes . . . they never failed to stun me into stupidity or make me want to do crazy-insane things. Right now his eyes were a deep gray, like thunderclouds.
Jase wasn’t happy.
Thrusting a hand through his damp hair, he exhaled deeply and a muscle in his jaw ticked. The irritation inside me turned into something messy, causing the burn in the back of my throat to move up to my eyes. I had to keep telling myself that he didn’t know—that there was no way he could’ve known, and that the way I was feeling, the hurt and the brutal wound of rejection, wasn’t his fault. I was just Cam’s little sister; the reason why Cam had gotten into so much trouble almost four years ago and why Jase had started making the trip to our home every weekend. I was just a stolen kiss. That was all.
I started to turn, to go wait in the truck for Cam before I did something embarrassing, like crying all over myself. My emotions had been all over the place since I injured my leg, and seeing Jase wasn’t helping.
“Tess. Wait,” Jase said, crossing the distance between us in one step with his long legs. Stopping close enough that his worn sneakers almost brushed my toes, he reached out toward me, his hand lingering by my cheek. He didn’t touch me, but the heat of his hand branded my skin. “We need to talk.”
About the Author
#1 New York Times and USA Today bestselling author J. LYNN lives in Martinsburg, West Virginia. When she’s not hard at work writing, she spends her time reading, working out, watching really bad zombie movies, pretending to write, and hanging out with her husband and her Jack Russell terrier, Loki.
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By J. Lynn
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