“But you’re the chair of the department.” This wasn’t supposed to be happening.
“He probably thought he could keep me by offering me the position, but I always knew Summerset was a way station, not my final destination.”
Way station. “I see.” In a minute she’d start to breathe again.
“Come on, Grace. Sit down.” Caleb urged her onto the sofa and sat beside her. “If you don’t want me to go, I won’t.”
Happiness lasted only seconds, then she saw his face. He wanted to go. Just like her father had wanted to go. “Why can’t you be happy here?”
His hand tenderly cupped her face again. “Because it’s not where God wants me to stay. I’ve always been aware of something tugging inside me that guides my steps. I admit I don’t always like where He leads, but it’s always turned out to be for the best.”
“How do you know it’s not your own ego that’s leading you?” she asked. Then she shook her head in shame and regret at her uncalled-for remark. “Forgive me. I know you better than that. It’s just…”
“You see your father in me,” he finished softly.
Instead of answering, she withdrew his hand from her face and held it in hers. “When do they want you to come for the interview?”
“Tuesday.”
Her hands jerked. “Will you be back in time for practice that night?”
“Grace, I’m not going to give up one of God’s programs to do another.” His hand twisted to rest on hers. “If I can get someone to cover my two classes, I can fly up late Monday night and be back in time for the practice. If not, I won’t go.”
She swallowed the lump in her throat. If this was where God was leading him, he had to go. “I can take the Music Appreciation class at one.”
His eyes softened with love. “Thank you.”
“You’ll go to that interview in a suit and you’ll get that job,” Grace said firmly.
“But you won’t be here waiting for me when I get back.” It was a statement not a question.
“I can’t.” Withdrawing her hands, she rose to her feet. “If you don’t mind, can we cancel the movie?”
“Grace—”
“Please, Caleb,” she interrupted.
“I’ll go, but it’s not over.” His thumb brushed a tear from her cheek. “Don’t cry. He didn’t bring us together to tear us apart.”
Opening the door, he was gone. He took her dreams and her heart with him.
Chapter Ten
Grace woke up with a splitting headache and red, puffy eyes. She made herself get out of bed when she wanted to linger with the covers over her head. She had to go to church. As miserable as she was, she needed His word to help ease the desolation she felt.
Less than an hour later, she opened the front door and came to a halt. Tears that she had thought were under control slid down her face. She blinked them away to stare down at the immense bouquet of pink and red roses on the porch. He had no right to do this to her. Even as the thought went through her head, she knelt and picked up the roses.
From his vantage point across the street behind a huge oak tree, Caleb watched Grace. He had been waiting for the past hour and was thankful Grace’s elderly neighbor was an early riser and thought it was sweet that he wanted to surprise her with flowers. What he was was desperate and in love. He had only wanted to bring Grace happiness with his love, not pain. She’d looked so sad last night and just now as she picked up the flowers and took them back inside.
He had almost been afraid that she’d toss them. He should have known better. She was hurting, not mean-spirited or vindictive. That wasn’t the kind of woman God would have chosen for him. And with every breath he knew Grace was God’s choice for his wife.
They just had to convince her. His heart ached for her and what she must be going through. She had to let go of her fear and let God guide her. And she had to do it by herself.
Sticking his hands into the pockets of his jeans, Caleb went back to his car which was parked a block over. He’d considered going to church at Peaceful Rest, but dismissed the idea. He didn’t want to embarrass Grace or make this more painful than it already was. But he intended to show her that he loved her and that if she’d trust him, he wouldn’t let her down.
He glanced skyward. Please be her comforter during this difficult time. She’ll need it in the days to come.
For the first time Grace wished she wasn’t on a first-name basis with the members of her church. There was no way she could disguise the fact that she had been crying. But at least the children’s choir was singing this Sunday, so she could sit in the audience. Her parents had immediately seated themselves on either side of her.
“It’ll be all right, Grace,” her mother murmured.
Too full of emotion to speak, Grace swallowed and nodded.
As church service progressed she didn’t join in on one song. She couldn’t. Every time she opened her mouth, her throat would clog. Instead she fixed her gaze on the stained-glass angel with outspread arms behind the choir stand. Angels had descended to minister to Jesus. He had promised the same to His children: “I will not leave you comfortless.”
The congregation took their seats and Pastor French walked to the wooden podium and began to flip through his Bible. “I want you to turn with me to II Corinthians 5:7. And it reads, ‘For we walk by faith, not by sight.’” He stared out at the congregation. “I want to use as my subject this morning, ‘Whose steps are you following’?”
An eruption of amens sounded throughout the church. Grace’s attention snapped from the angel.
“Watch me now and listen. The devil is a trickster. He’ll use any means to bind you, and his greatest weapon is fear. If you’re a child of God, and have claimed it, act like it. Be bold and step out on His word. Don’t cower in fear and let the devil get the glory and the victory.”
Grace listened to the message and replayed her decisions in the past. Then she asked herself whose steps she was following. Once she had been so certain she was on the right path, but being with Caleb, loving him, had made her take a hard look at the way she believed. She continued to love God, but the narrow confines were gone. Caleb was right. There was more than one way to love and honor God.
“God can’t lead you into a blessing He planned if you don’t have the faith and courage to follow Him, to reach out and take it.” Pastor French straightened and closed his Bible. “I’m claiming mine and the devil better get out of the way.”
Shouts of amen and praise filled the sanctuary as Pastor French extended the invitation and the children’s choir began to sing “How Great Thou Art.” This time Grace was able to join in.
The Tuesday morning interview went well, Caleb thought. Yet, more than what the people interviewing him were saying, he was listening to what He said.
Total silence.
The campus was beautiful, the budget wonderful, the salary fabulous. It was the chance of a lifetime.
But there was no joy in Caleb’s heart. Walking through the fine arts department with the president of the university and the dean, Caleb reasoned at first it was because he was worried about Grace. He almost convinced himself. It wasn’t until he was on his way to the airport in the cab that he recalled Grace asking him if it was his ego that was sending him.
He hadn’t thought so until now. He had been so caught up in the great opportunity and the prestige that he hadn’t stopped to consider that Northern might not be the place God intended him to go. Hands clasped between his legs, Caleb hung his head. Worse, he hadn’t prayed about the decision. He’d just assumed.
“Forgive me.”
“You say something, mister?” the cab driver asked as he pulled up in front of the terminal at O’Hare.
“Just talking to God,” Caleb answered.
The gray-haired cabbie cut the meter and turned to stare at Caleb. “Do it myself all the time. He’s the only one who’ll never change on you and who will always tell you the truth even when you don’t want to hear
it.”
Caleb nodded. “Even when you’re out of His will there’s a comfort in knowing He’s there and will lead you back in the right direction.” Paying the fare, Caleb entered the terminal. He couldn’t wait to tell Grace.
Grace was just finishing her dinner when the doorbell rang. Somehow she knew it was Caleb even before she got up from the table and went to open the door.
“I’m not taking the job,” he blurted as he came inside. “I’m staying.” He reached for her, but she stepped back. “Grace, don’t you understand?”
“I’ve been doing a lot of praying and thinking about us, Caleb. Please have a seat and I’ll try to explain.” She waved him to the sofa and took the side chair across from it. If she was to get through this she needed not to be able to touch him.
“I thought you’d be happy,” Caleb said, clearly not understanding her reaction.
She folded her hands in her lap. “If God wants this for you, you have to go.”
“That’s just it.” He scooted forward on the seat. “It’s not. I can always tell.” He faltered for a brief moment. “You’re were right. I jumped the gun because I was caught up with myself and the prestige of the position.”
“At least you’re man enough to admit it. Not many would.” She drew a deep breath. “But that doesn’t change the fact that one day you will leave Summerset.”
He made a motion to go to her. She held up her hands to stop him. “No, please. I won’t get through this if you don’t stay seated.”
Caleb settled back. “Okay.”
“You know where your destiny lies. I’m just realizing I’m still seeking mine.” She glanced around the room. “I made this a home because growing up we moved so much. Even the house my parents live in now, they bought after my father came back.”
“Grace, I know you like stability, but life isn’t like that all the time.”
“I’m not sure I can be happy any other place,” she confessed. “Until I’m sure I have that kind of unshakable faith and courage to withstand whatever life throws in my path, I don’t think we should see each other.”
Misery swept through him, and Grace looked even more miserable. How could he have messed up this badly? “I shouldn’t have gotten ahead of God’s plan for us. I blew it.”
“If it’s God’s plan, neither you nor I can alter it,” she told him, her conviction obvious. “I just need to make sure it is.”
This time he went to her and knelt in front of her. “I’ll try to be patient. I love you.”
“I love you, too.” Her unsteady fingers brushed his jacket lapels. She blinked several times before continuing, “Nice suit. I bet you impressed them.”
“I’m more concerned with impressing you and getting you to trust me again.”
Her hand stilled, then she placed it in her lap. “Would you like some leftover chicken and dressing from Sunday dinner before we go to practice?”
He said he’d try to be patient, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t above trying to spend as much time with her as possible. “I would if you’ll keep me company.” He held his breath waiting for her answer.
“All right.” Grace stood and went to the kitchen.
Caleb slowly straightened. Following Grace he tried to take comfort that she hadn’t sent him packing, but he couldn’t quite manage it. She had yet to smile at him. Please Lord. Show me the way.
Caleb’s despair was like a weight on his chest. Once again, there was total silence and his joy was gone.
The choir members’ heads were worse than a game of Ping-Pong as they bounced from Grace to Caleb. He could only imagine what Grace had gone through Sunday at church. You couldn’t tell it now. She was laughing and acting as if she didn’t have a care in the world. It was Caleb who, at first, had difficulty getting it together.
He paid more attention to Grace than what he was doing. He fervently hoped and prayed that he’d never make the mistake of not seeking His guidance in every facet of his life, just as he continued to thank Him for Grace. Despite what he had put her through, she hadn’t turned her back on him. Her name said it all. In fact, it was Grace who helped him get back on track.
She motioned the choir to cut, then came to him. “Caleb, while I’m working on increasing my faith and His guidance, don’t lose sight of yours.” Without waiting for an answer, she went back to where she had been standing.
He didn’t make another flub. She was right. Caleb turned his mind to the music and off his own problems. Practice ended on a high note, literally and figuratively. They were ready for the concert Saturday.
“Grace, can you meet me during your lunch hour to prepare a press release?” he asked. The people milling around stopped.
“You can’t do that without me?” she asked, probably as aware as he was that people were listening.
“Yes, but I do better with you.” He planned to tell her every chance he got that he wanted to be with her.
“I’ll be there.”
Turning, he herded his students out to the van. While Grace was working on her faith and courage, perhaps it would be a good idea to take a look at his own.
Summerset’s Harvest Celebration was to be the crowning event after months of preparation. George Rutherford Summerset had founded the city when the axle on his horse-drawn wagon broke on the way to Shreveport. He’d liked the fertile soil and green valley so much that he stayed.
The downtown sported red-white-and-blue banners and most of the stores were closed to allow their employees to enjoy the all-day celebration. After the parade and the mayor’s speech, people were ready to enjoy the traveling carnival until the gospel concert scheduled for the afternoon.
Grace meandered over the grounds enjoying the sights, the laughter of children and adults, and the beautiful fall day. She smiled with the sheer joy of living. She hadn’t been able to do that at times during the past week. Prayer and a great deal of soul-searching had helped her reach this point. God would lead her in the right direction. Of that she had been sure. Once she had reached that decision, it would be easy to let go.
Stopping at a food booth, she dug money out of her pants pocket and purchased corn on the cob. Butter and juice ran down her chin as she bit into it. Laughing, she grabbed a napkin, looked up and saw Caleb. Warmth flooded her heart. Whatever happened she’d always love him. She couldn’t run away from that fact or change it. Fear would no longer be a part of her life.
A smile still hovering on her lips, she continued toward him. “Hi.”
“Hi,” Caleb greeted. He hadn’t talked to her since their meeting Wednesday. He took it as a good sign that she was smiling. She looked great in a pink-plaid blouse and white pants. “Ridden any rides yet?” he casually asked.
“No.” She delicately wiped her mouth. “I thought I’d look around first.”
“Care if I walk with you?”
Her dark eyes twinkled mischievously. “I’ll think about it if I can have a bite of your smoked turkey leg.”
He eyed her corn. “A bite for a bite.”
“Deal.” She took a hefty bite out of his drumstick, then grinned at the look of surprise on his face.
He bit into her corn with the same gusto. “Now that we’ve shown people how greedy we are, let’s go see what else we can get into.” He reached out his free hand and she put hers in his and they set off.
They ended up at the Ferris wheel. “You game?”
Grace stared up at the circle of metal as it revolved high in the sky. “I don’t like my feet that high off the ground unless I’m in an airplane.”
“I’ll be there.”
Her gaze came back to him. “I’ll probably have a death grip on your neck the entire time and you have to sing later.”
“I’ll chance it.”
Grace was true to her words the first scary seconds of the ride. After she was sure she wasn’t going to fall out she relaxed and enjoyed it, enjoying the bird’s-eye view and eagerly pointing to the steeple of Peaceful Rest. When her ride was ov
er, her feet firmly planted on the ground, she tried to catch her breath.
“Let’s go to the ring toss.”
“I don’t know, Caleb. That game is hard.”
“I’m winning you a stuffed animal.”
Ten dollars later, Caleb found himself in an unenviable position. The woman he loved was empty-handed and some of the church members and students from the college had gathered around. Pride warred with common sense. He hadn’t even come close to getting a ring over the neck of one bottle.
“You mind if I try?”
He looked at Grace with surprise. She couldn’t do any worse than he had. He paid the man.
Three tosses later, Grace handed him a pink panther. “I warned you about pouting.”
He kissed her quickly on the lips, squishing the animal between them. “My hero.”
People around them applauded. Grace shook her head. “Come on, I want a nutty ice cream bar.”
“You lead, I’ll follow.”
Her eyes darkened for a moment. She stepped back. Caleb could have bitten off his tongue for reminding her they still had problems to work through. “Grace—”
“On second thought, we better get to where they set up for the concert and make sure the instruments and sound equipment are there and working. Dr. Holloway is there with President Jenkins. We have to be at our best.” Without waiting for an answer, she turned and walked away.
The sound of the organ drifted out to the crowd standing in front of the raised platform. The stirring sound was joined by the keyboard, bass guitar, drum. The beautiful voice of the lead soprano of Peaceful Rest flowed through the mix seamlessly to a full-blown choral accompaniment with the band and all the singers as they lifted their voices in praise with “We Fall Down.”
When the last note was sung, the crowd was on their feet and Grace had tears in her eyes. Caleb went to her. “Grace?”
How Sweet the Sound Page 17