by A. J. Downey
A shame, too. She really seemed like she was a good woman. Good women almost always seemed to be handed a raw deal. I know it was selfish to think it, but I found myself thinking if I stuck around and treated her right, I might be able to tip my scales some. In fact, I think I’d lost sight of my original purpose after meeting and talking with her, that original purpose being to just convince her that Cell’s death really was squarely on Cell’s shoulders for riding like a fuckin’ idiot that day.
“What?” she asked.
“Just lookin’ at you. You gettin’ tired?”
She smiled, “I didn’t think I was, but I suppose it is gettin’ late.”
“Say no more,” I said softly and cued up the radio Rush gave me and turned it to channel two like he asked. I said into it, “Yeah, Rush, you there?”
The radio crackled to life, “Yeah, I’m here D. Thought you guys were fixing to sleep under the stars tonight. I’ll be right out.”
“Thanks, my man.”
“No problem, I’m out.”
I switched it off and returned it to my pocket. Marcie stayed huddled under the throw and I realized it’d grown chilly the more the night had dragged on. She was staring at the skies above us and I turned my attention that way, too.
“Ever wonder if they’re up there, lookin’ down on us?” she asked, softly.
“Who?”
“Your man, maybe even your wife?”
“Some of my men, sure. My wife? Oh, absolutely. Cell? No way. I hate to speak ill of the dead, but Cell? If he went anywhere, guaranteed he went straight to Hell.”
“That’s an awful thought,” she said, and sounded sad.
“Much as I hate for it to be true, it is,” I said. “A very true one.” I sighed and it was weighed down with the broken hopes and dreams I’d had of Cell potentially turnin’ himself around once he’d come to us. It hadn’t taken me long to realize that wasn’t gonna happen. He was his own animal.
Hell, he was an animal. All the cold calculation of a true-born predator. The absolute pinnacle of the food chain. That man had a mouth so cold, butter wouldn’t even melt in it.
I just wished I knew how to explain it, or prove it, to Marcie. I sighed. I knew how, but the trick was going to be gettin’ her to agree to it.
“I know it sounds awful,” I said when she’d been quiet and reflective too long. “But the God-given truth of it is, Cell was one of the rare ones who was just plain born wrong. He didn’t have a care for anyone but himself, and he was straight incapable of it.”
“He was loved by someone,” she said feebly, and I realized I was somewhat gettin’ through.
I nodded.
“He was loved by two people, actually. A strange dynamic, for sure, to the rest of us, but by the same token, the fact he was loved by those people wasn’t a mark of how good of a man he was. It was sincerely the mark of how good those two are.”
“That’s quite a thing to say,” she said quietly.
I smiled and nodded.
“Someday, I’d really like for you to meet ol’ Blue and Hayley. I think they’d like to meet you, too.”
“Me? Now, what would they want to meet me fer?” she demanded.
I sighed, “Marcie, you’re a good woman. A good woman who is carryin’ around far too much guilt over what you think you done. But you didn’t do anything, sugar. Cell was ridin’ like a right idiot that day. You were just livin’ your life. I don’t know why the fates picked you, other ‘n they may have felt sorry for Cell – which gods know why. Maybe they wanted to ensure at least one person mourned his passing.”
“Was he really that bad?” she asked, her mouth agape.
“Worse,” I assured her. “No bullshit, there. He was as manipulative and out-of-control as a person could be. Didn’t give two fucks about who he dragged to hell with him.”
“Then how did he even become a part of your club?” she asked.
“That’s a good question,” I said. Unfortunately, I didn’t have a satisfying answer for myself, let alone for her. I would try to give her what I could, though. I figured I owed her at least that much.
“I don’t suppose you know how an MC works, do yah?”
She shook her head. “Not particularly, but I’m always up for learning new things.”
“Alright, I’ll see if I can’t explain this here…” I thought about how to phrase things before I opened my mouth again, and decided to keep it as simple as I could. “So you got an MC, and it’s a new one, right? And you get enough guys and other guys start comin’ around, interested, and eventually it’s grown to a point that you realize that while good, it’s gettin’ a bit too crowded, and so you start lookin’ at expandin’ your territory.”
“Like the Romans?” she asked, smiling.
I laughed a little. “I guess you could liken it to conquering the world,” I said. “So you got a few guys who are good guys, they just don’t necessarily agree one hundred percent with the way the club is goin’ and so one of ‘em comes to you and says, ‘Y’know, I got two or three guys that we could go over here and set up a chapter and what do you think?’ Next thing you know, one chapter becomes two… And here’s where it gets interesting.”
“Okay,” she said carefully.
“You gotta trust ’em, because that’s what this whole thing is about. Trusting your brothers to follow the club charter and rules that have been set forth, and to live by ‘em.
“So they go off and start their new chapter, but you don’t really have too much say in who they bring into it, because the guy you sent out is now a president in his own right?”
“Very good,” I said. “And, yes and no. I still got some say in overall operations being that I’m the top dawg, but for day-to-day? Not so much. Who they bring on into their chapter, not so much.”
“Because you trust them to bring in the right kind of people,” she said.
“Very good. I don’t suppose I can much fault the guys who brought in Cell; he was a very charming individual. But by the time he made it down this way and joined up with my chapter, it was a little late. He was part of the club.”
“You couldn’t just kick him out?” she asked.
“Not how this whole thing works, sweetheart,” I said, shaking my head. “Short of breaking some very specific rules, once a man is accepted, he’s one of us. And you don’t turn your back on a man who is your brother so easily. It’s sort of the antithesis of the whole fucking point.”
She nodded carefully and I searched her face.
“That being said, Cell was on his way Out Bad. It was only a matter of time before he pulled something that couldn’t be ignored. All of us saw it coming.”
“You seem sad about that,” she said softly.
“It’s not an easy thing, giving up on one of your brothers. None of us want to do it.” I kept it to myself that the real thing that saddened me wasn’t necessarily losing Cell, it was the prospect of losing Blue with him.
The conversation was cut short by the low rumble of Rush approaching in the truck. Marcie had opened her mouth to ask another question, but as soon as we both heard the engine and turned our heads to spy the sweep of headlights coming our way, whatever she’d been about to ask had been cut short.
I put my readers and the book away in my jacket pockets and stood up, setting my throw aside. I put my hands down to help Marcie to her feet, just as Rush pulled the truck to a stop behind us.
She put her hands in mine and they were icy cold, so I called out, “Hey, Rush! You got the heat on in there?”
“Yeah!” He heaved himself up and over the side of the bed and laid back against the back window of the truck’s cab. “Have at, you can drop me off back at the house and take the truck if you want.”
“Good man,” I called lightly, opening up the passenger side of the truck for Marcie. She smiled and murmured her thanks and I realized just how tired she was. I shut her safely in the cab and asked as I walked around the back of the truck, “You want to pic
k some of this stuff up?”
“Nah, I’ll get it tomorrow for you, D. Just put out the lantern.”
I deviated and put out the lantern, and at least brought him his decanter of booze. He grinned, popped the top and took a swig straight from the bottle.
“Barbarian,” I said with a grin and a chuckle.
“Back to reality,” he said swallowing. “’Sides, I got you for a designated driver.”
I laughed and opened up the driver’s door, “That you do,” I said. I got behind the wheel and put the automatic truck into gear and drove us back out to Bailey’s house. I also made sure to hit as many ruts and potholes as I could on the way, Marcie laughing as Rush bounced around, cursing, in the back.
“Thanks a million, Rush!” I called as he hopped out of the bed back at the house.
“Almost made me spill my booze,” he groused and I chuckled.
“Don’t drink and ride,” I told him, and he grinned and gave me the finger. Bailey came out onto the porch and waved. I blew my niece a kiss, like I did when she was just a little girl and a part of mine and Tilly’s life, and she grinned and caught it, holding it to her heart.
“She was such a good kid,” I said fondly as I turned the truck past my bike and toward the highway.
“She’s a lovely young woman,” Marcie said.
“Now that Rush has straightened her ass out some,” I agreed. “Her mother is my late wife’s sister.”
“Ah, I was a little curious. I didn’t see a family resemblance so much, so I figured that may have been the case.”
“You’re a clever lady, Marcie.”
“Why, thank you, Dragon. You tend to use your head for somethin’ other ‘n a hat rack yourself.”
I laughed and shook my head and we talked about my family some, about my boy Dray and adoptive daughter, Everett. I boasted a bit over my grandson and she practically gushed about her daughters and her grandbaby that was on the way.
Too soon, we were pullin’ up at her back kitchen door, and the night was over. It’d been a good night. I had enjoyed myself, thoroughly, and I was glad she had, too. I walked her to her door and felt the urge to kiss her goodnight but I was a coward.
“That’s strange,” she said.
I frowned some, and asked, “What?”
“I don’t have any roses blooming back here. You smell that?”
I smiled to myself. “I don’t,” I said. “Glad that you do, though.”
She raised an eyebrow in the light of her back porch lamp and asked, “Why is that?”
“Oh,” I said, backing away, “Gotta keep some things to myself, you know. Chicks dig a man of mystery.”
She looked vaguely disappointed but laughed at what I said, “Fine. You keep your secrets, but do drive safe. I had a lovely evening.”
“Will do, Marcie. You go on in now, and get warm.”
She let herself into her house and I got back in the truck, the smell of roses overwhelming and, I felt like, a clear admonishment from my late wife. I could almost hear her, Oh my God! Why didn’t you kiss her? Do I have to take over your body?
I laughed to myself, turned the truck around and headed back to pick up my bike from Bailey and Rush’s place. The smell of roses became choking. I shook my head and turned my ass back around and pulled right up to Marcie’s back door. She opened it up, her expression curious as I came around the truck.
I marched my ass right up the back steps and pulled her to me, covering her mouth with mine.
She made a wordless exclamation against my mouth, but didn’t push away. While she’d stiffened up at first, it was a beautiful thing when she melted against me and returned the kiss.
I broke it and she swayed on her feet.
“See you soon, sugar.”
“Okay,” she said, breathlessly. “You promise?”
“I promise,” I told her.
When I got back into the truck, the smell of roses had settled down some, and I smiled to myself.
“Don’t be so damn smug,” I muttered, and finally, I was on my way back to my second love in life. My bike.
10
Marcie…
“What’re you doin’ weekend after next?” he asked, his voice like velvet in my ear.
I cradled my phone between my neck and shoulder and smiled, saying, “Well, I don’t know. Sounds like you’ve got somethin’ in mind.”
“I do. You think you can get off work?”
“I’ll have to ask, you know the boss is one hard-assed bitch.”
He laughed at that one and said, “Maybe I could butter her up for you.”
“I think that could be arranged.” I let my voice drop a little lower, and turned my back on my salon’s front door. I was in here by myself. Don’t ask me why I was so self-conscious.
“Well, all right then. Put her on the line.”
“One moment, please…” I paused for dramatic effect and said, “Hello?”
He laughed and said, “That was awfully close to a dad joke.”
“My ex was full of ‘em with the girls. He may not have been a good husband all of the time, but he was and always has been a good daddy and a halfway-decent friend.”
“I know I married my best friend,” he said, and the edge of sad nostalgia was back in his voice. I could tell, this here was important. Us talkin’ about our pasts and keepin’ everything out in the open. It’d been nearly a week since I’d seen him last and I swear my lips still tingled from that kiss. I felt giddy and like a teenager every time we talked, which was every day, and yet, while both of us seemed excited about this connection, whatever it was… both of us remained cautious. I liked that. Felt like it was serious. Like it was real.
“I thought that was what you were supposed to do,” I said. “Turns out, sometimes your best friend ain’t necessarily meant for somethin’ more. Speaking of which, Bobby’s supposed to be here any minute to fix my sink.”
“Good deal,” he said, carefully. “What’s wrong with the sink?”
“It’s a salon. Even with hair traps the conditioner and crap likes to back them up after a while. He’s comin’ to snake the drain.”
“Didn’t know he was a plumber.”
I laughed, “He’s not, he’s a river-boat pilot, but that doesn’t keep him from being handy.”
“I’ll admit, I got mechanical expertise. Your car breaks down, I can sure fix it, but when it comes to indoor stuff like plumbing, I’d have to send one of the guys your way. They’d do it, too. That’s part of what being club, being brothers, is all about. We help each other with things like that, no questions asked. When you’re club, you’re family.”
“Sounds like club treats folks better ‘n most families,” I murmured and had to sigh.
I had a girl come in whose family was just awful to her. She was a grown adult and was still expected to do what they said and everything for them, and was just generally treated so poorly when she didn't. It’d like to break your heart. Family wasn’t supposed to treat you that way; ike they’re your family, but only when you were doin’ what they wanted you to do for ‘em.
She’d just left my salon not too long ago and though I didn’t share her name, I shared the story.
Dragon grunted on the other end of the line.
“Sounds about right. Citizens just don’t know how to treat each other for the most part anymore. It’s one of the reasons we ain’t typically got a use for ‘em.”
“Well, now!”
“You know that don’t mean you,” he declared.
And what about my daughters? Their families… I wondered, but I didn’t say anything. I knew he hadn’t meant anything by it, but it stung just the same.
I was saved by the bell. Literally, when the little brass bell above my salon door went off. I jumped slightly and turned around, a hand pressed to my chest as Bobby silently laughed at me.
“I’ve got to go, that would be Bobby,” I said and Dragon made a ‘uh-huh’ noise.
“Call me later?” h
e asked.
“Of course!”
“And think about that weekend away.”
“I surely will.”
“All right, bye for now.”
I smiled, warmed by his affectionate tone. “Bye for now,” I echoed and lowered the phone from my ear.
“That the new boyfriend?” Bobby asked.
“Now that ain’t none of your business, Bobby Lanham. How are yah?” I asked, setting my phone aside.
“Better ‘n you,” he said, with a twinkle in his eye. “Y’know, it works much better in yer favor, if you’re facin’ the door.”
“Ohhh!” I waved him off, laughing, and he laughed, too.
“I got you good there, though. Hoo-boy!”
“Like t’ scare the shit out of me,” I agreed.
“Which sink is givin’ you problems?” he asked, and pushed back through the swinging door.
I gave a gusty sigh and said, “The hair sink.”
“Been a while since I had to come out and fix it,” he said.
“That it has,” I agreed. “I have a hair-trap, so I’m not sure what’s goin’ on with it.”
I followed him back into the salon and sat down in my chair, swiveling it so I could face him. He set down his tool box next to the sink and started workin’ on it.
“Well, y’know you gotta have at least a few years of buildup goin’ on in here, unless you had someone else out since the last time I fixed it for you.”
“Nope, you’re my number one guy to call for the dirty jobs.”
He chuckled. “Can’t say I didn’t earn that title,” he said. “How come y’ didn’t have your new guy come out and have a look?”
“One, I don’t have a new guy, and two, I do believe I just got done sayin’ that ain’t none of your business.”