by A. J. Downey
Things had blown to high heaven when I confronted him, and a lot of hurtful shit had been said, and I called it quits. He didn’t think I’d go through with it, but I did. My daughters had been so mad at him and me. Him, for being such a damn fool, and me, for being so unyielding, but I had to. Weren’t no one going to respect me if I couldn’t respect myself. I’d let that lapse for so long I still wasn’t quite sure if I could do it.
Dragon sighed and shook his head when I finished unloading and handed me a bandana to wipe my nose with when I’d become tearful.
“That’s a pretty big hurt you got there,” he said finally, gently. “Do my best not to aggravate it and I can slow down if you need. For now, anyways.”
“You sure?” I asked.
“I’m sure,” he nodded. “Let’s go wash your face and get you cleaned up some, baby. We can leave this at ‘to be continued’ for now.”
I felt just awful about it, ruining what promised to be a good time with my insecurities, but I honestly was scared to death. I didn’t know that I could live through another kind of hurt like I had with Bobby. I was beginning to love the lighthearted banter, the deep discussions with this man, but I was skittish and right shy about giving my whole heart over.
He walked me to the bathrooms and waited outside while I cleaned up, when I came out fresh-faced, he smiled and said, “Some reason, I like you better without makeup.”
I laughed and said, “Pretty sure no one likes a woman my age without a little help from a bottle,” I said.
“Ain’t been drunk once any of the times I’ve kissed you,” he murmured. “Ain’t the least bit impaired now.” He pulled me to him and kissed me gently. When he drew back it was only slightly and he whispered against my lips, “You’re a beautiful woman, Marcie. Real, and tough.” He chuckled, drawing back a little further, “Real tough, too. I like that about you.”
“You know just what to say to make a girl’s heart flutter,” I told him and he winked at me.
“Biker’s got charm, eh?”
“Some real smooth moves,” I agreed.
He chuckled and led me down the hall toward a door, green grass beyond the window set in it.
“I still got plenty in my bag of tricks,” he said.
I smiled, I couldn’t help it.
“I’ll just bet you do…”
15
Dragon…
One of the biggest fights I’d ever had with my wife was over what Marcie had just described. I’d made that mistake once and only once. Neglect, even benign, could be so damaging a person couldn’t ever recover. I could see now that Marcie was one of those people. Can’t say I blamed her none, and it was a damn shame. She had a heart of gold. The more I learned about her, the more my feelings deepened and it felt good. Nice, actually.
I wasn’t in any hurry. If it was slow she needed, the ability to build trust, I could give that to her. Anything good in the world that came your way was worth waiting for. Worth nurturing and growing… Tilly had taught me that, too, with her garden and her roses, with her infinite patience with my fuckups. I missed her, I always would, but any time I thought along the lines that I may be betraying her or her memory somehow, the smell of roses like to knock me on my ass and I had to take it as the sign it was.
My dead wife approved, and if I didn’t follow through, she’d like to kick my ass when I got to the other side. Tilly and Marcie had that in common. They were both real tough and they weren’t afraid of being hard as diamond if and when they needed to be. It was on me not to give ‘em a reason to harden up and shut me out.
That’s where Marcie’s generosity came in. She was generous to a fault, from what I’d learned, and that generosity extended to second, third, fourth, and maybe even as far as fifth chances. She was downplaying things with her ex-husband. She had to be. Kind of boggled my mind that even after all of that, she still managed to stay friends with him. Folding up and putting away her hurt even from that? Well, that was the mark of a remarkable woman. Still, my heart hurt for her; it hurt even more knowing the damage that Duracell caused with his final words, and that those same words were coming back to haunt her even now.
She was half a step behind me when we got to the window, so I saw Blue and Hayley, and their little boy, Damon, on the lawn a second before she did. She gave a sharp tug on my hand, our interlocked fingers tangling. I turned back to look into her startled, fearful blue eyes and I smiled reassuringly.
“It’s okay, Sugar. You knew this day would come when you started seein’ me.” I pulled her gently along up to my side, and she wrapped both her arms around my one and hugged it.
It reminded me of a small girl with her teddy bear, comin’ out of her room in the middle of the night, scared from a bad dream.
Made me realize that maybe she’d let herself fool herself into thinking this thing we had startin’ up between us was nothing but a dream at all, and seeing that little guy with the crown of red curls with his dark-haired mother and his brunette father drove that home. Reality came crashing in and her nerve was faltering, but I wouldn’t let her fall.
As far as that boy knew, he had two loving parents. As far as that man was concerned, he was that boy’s father. As far as Hayley and Blue and the loss of their third? They knew. They knew that it was for the best. They knew that Cell was poison and that he would have destroyed them all, eventually. They knew, and the pain of that realization had dulled some with time, but it would never fully go away.
Pain was Duracell’s legacy and while I loved him as a brother, I hoped he burned in Hell for it.
Marcie, to her credit, stood a little straighter, her chin raising marginally, her gait even with mine, even as Blue paused and looked us over as we approached the blanket his wife sat on with his son. He gave a careful nod, light gray eyes studying Marcie, a slight frown of concentration creating a little line between his eyebrows as he took my new lady’s measure.
“Ma’am, it’s nice to see you again,” he said softly, with a polite nod.
“Oh, hello!” Hayley said warmly, her hand to her forehead, shading her eyes as she peered up at us both. Damon echoed his mother, staring up at Marcie curiously, drool coating his little chin.
“What a beautiful baby,” Marcie said with a sweet smile, and lookin’ at Damon, it was hard not to let your heart melt. He was a beautiful boy, with all his biological father’s good looks and charm. It was still too early to tell, but I had a good feeling that was where the similarities to Cell were gonna end: with that shock of red hair and his sperm donor’s good looks.
Personality-wise, I saw him already as a true cross between his sweet mother and thoughtful father, Blue. I had high hopes that the kid was gonna be just fine, and with the club there to catch him and keep him straight, I had no real worries about it. Still, I knew his parents did and I also knew they weren’t gonna relax until he was of an age where we could all tell for sure what he was gonna be like.
I was glad to see that meeting up with Blue and Hayley again wasn’t too big a deal for Marcie or for them. I was even happier to see that meeting Damon for the first time hadn’t shook Marcie overly much. His sweet baby smile was hard to feel sorrow or remorse around, though.
We stood and visited a while before moving over to the swings around Rush’s fire-pit. An amazing structure, hand-built and carved by the man, it was one of my favorite places in the clubhouse, which was coming into its own nicely through the love of its brothers and women. It helped that money didn’t seem to be no object no more, thanks to Ashton and Shelly, Ashton for the start-up funds and Shelly due to her sheer magic with bookkeeping and investments.
That woman was a maverick with a calculator and calculated risks.
I’d be lyin’ if I said I didn’t miss fuckin’ her. She’d been a lot of fun before what happened, and now, she was getting back to that fun-loving woman, although in a much different direction now that she was a mamma. Swear to god, Ghost needed to stay off of her for a minute to let her recover bet
ween kids some. She always did want a big family, though, so it might not have been all on him. Lucky for her, her little ones had plenty of aunts and uncles to help out.
The brothers and sisters who had a chance to meet her took an immediate shine to Marcie. I was really only worried about one, though, and he had yet to make an appearance.
Think of the devil and he shall appear…
Marcie was lounging against me, the fire flickering, sunset past by an hour or so. Doc trudged across the gravel circle and dropped onto a swing next to ours, leaning back with a gusty sigh and propping his booted feet on the arm. I’d seen more than one of the boys sleep it off on one of the swinging benches, always wondered how they managed to lay on the damn things without spilling out and breaking their fucking head.
“What’s up, Doc?” I asked.
“Long fuckin’ day,” he said, heaving out a gusty sigh. “I’m getting too old for this shit.”
“Motherfucker, you’re only seven years older ‘n me.”
“And I’m feelin’ every one of ‘em. To add insult to injury, somebody got my last MGD.”
Marcie giggled and said, “That would be me, sorry about that. If I’d known, I would have asked for something else.”
Doc chuckled and said, “Miller Genuine Draft, a classy lady like you? Never would have guessed it.” He winked one blue eye at my girl and I think she blushed all the way to the roots of her copper dye-job.
“Classy? Huh…” She started laughing and sighed happily, saying, “I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re so full of shit your eye were brown.”
Doc laughed and I laughed too. “Told you she was a firecracker.”
“That you did, compadre. That you did,” Doc agreed cheerfully. Then he got solemn. “I hate to say it, but I don’t think I’m gonna make this run.”
“Oh?” I asked.
He shook his head. “Hospital is short-staffed and it just wouldn’t be right, leavin’ knowing I got patients, you know?”
“Well, sure,” Marcie said. “Though I’m sad I won’t get to know you right away.”
“Aw, hell, gettin’ to know me is the last thing you’d wanna do, darlin’. I’m just a dirty old man.”
Marcie laughed and I shook my head.
“You’re sure, now?”
“Hell, yes, I’m sure,” Doc grumbled. “Besides, God knows I love all that have gone before, but I just don’t know that I got it in me to sit through the tributes this year.”
He looked so tired, then; unhappy. I understood. In years past, I’d felt the same, but I never missed a Lake Run. Kind of hard to when you were the president. As for Doc, he wasn’t an officer no more, heading into a semi-retired status within the club, enjoying just being a member for the time being. I could tell he was asking me for my blessing on this, and I could also tell he needed it. I gave him a nod over Marcie’s head where it rested on my shoulder and chest and said, “Your patients and the citizens of this town need to come first. You’ve always been a doctor first.”
“Not always,” he disagreed. “Not in my view. Just, this weekend, I need to be. We got one doc down with a shoulder injury, one down with a staph infection, and our nursing staff is at an all-time low. Hospital is running on a shoe-string budget and it’s starting to show.”
“Why’s it so bad?” Marcie asked.
“Hm,” Doc hitched back and said, “Folks around these parts are poor. Hospital bills don’t get paid, mismanagement, it’s always been a small town rural hospital… kind of a perfect storm, really… but you don’t want to hear about all that.”
He made a start to heave himself back onto his tired feet, wincing, and said, “I’m going to drag these old bones into a hot shower and into bed,” then sank back into the chair with a grunt. “In just a minute.”
“All right, brother,” I murmured, worried for my old friend. He’d been working himself nigh to the bone lately. Going through a lot of the same motions I had, after Tilly. Only problem was, I knew firsthand this was the kind of shit you had to feel on your own. No one could relate, no one could know how it felt for you, even if they’d been through it. No one had been able to really help me through my grief in the beginning, not until I let them. As a result, I just plain didn’t know how to help my friend through his, even though I’d been there myself, feeling exactly what he was feeling.
Truth was, Doc had helped me, plenty of times. I’d returned the favor where I could, it just never felt like it was enough. Hell, it could never be enough. Not for something like this.
I was distracted by a contended but tired sigh from Marcie, who struggled to sit up. I smiled and asked, “That my cue that it’s time for bed?”
She snorted, “For me, yes, but you’re a grown-ass man. You go on and do what you want.”
I think I fell a little bit in love with the woman right then, because the keen look she gave me said, ‘Stay out here and tend to your friend if he or you needs it.’ I checked with Doc with a look, but he was already drowsing by the light of the fire. I shook my head and got up with her.
“Doc, old friend, I think it’s time for you to hit the hay.”
He startled a bit and rubbed the back of his bald head.
“I think you’re right,” he said with a sigh. I held out a hand and hauled him up to his feet. He winced and squeezed my hand a couple of times.
“Y’all ride safe now, y’hear?” he asked when we reached the back door.
“Loud and clear, buddy. You keep the dirty side down, yourself.”
“Will do,” he said and slipped into his room, shutting the door softly behind him.
I turned to Marcie, who I had tucked under one arm. She looked to me and I smiled and asked, “Ready for take two?”
“As much as I’d love to go there with you, liquid courage on board and all, I’m ready for bed.”
She looked it, too, tiredness radiating from her. Probably a little more mental and emotional than physically, but it didn’t really matter. Tired was tired, and I could respect it, even if I didn’t like it much. My cock was pretty much at attention any time I looked at her anymore.
“Come on, I’ll read you a bedtime story,” I murmured.
She smiled and the joy that was in it made me ache to be inside her. She became a special kind of beautiful when she smiled like that.
“I’d really like that,” she said and I pressed my lips against her temple, breathing in her soft, womanly scent.
She wanted slow and easy, I could give it to her, regardless of if I was used to it or not. It really wasn’t asking all that damn much of me, which I could appreciate about her. She didn’t ask for anything, really. It was a rare quality in a woman. Lucky for me finding it twice, I thought.
I tried not to compare Marcie to Tilly, but sometimes it happened. I struggled a bit inside, but every time I came anywhere close to cold feet or felt like I was somehow betraying my wife…
“Whew,” Marcie remarked, breaking me out of my thoughts. “Girl, you’re supposed to wear your perfume, not bathe in it.”
“What’s that?” I asked, opening up my room’s door.
“Don’t you smell that?” she asked.
I shook my head.
“Smells like roses,” she said, and I smiled.
16
Marcie…
I slipped back into his room from changing in one of the bathrooms. I know, I know! I shouldn’t care, but this man made my heart flutter and gave me butterflies in my stomach and for some reason, I just got so damn nervous and I know I wasn’t no beauty queen no more. My stomach wasn’t flat, my tits weren’t perky, and I had more cellulite than any woman would be proud of, but still… when he looked up at me over the top of his simple black-framed reading glasses, I was that same kind of torn I had been earlier.
Do I stay or do I go? Am I ready to share this man’s bed, even just for sleeping? Oh, God, Marcie! Get a grip, woman!
“What’s wrong?” he asked softly and I slowly set my belongings onto the
recliner.
“Just,” I cleared my throat, it was suddenly almost too tight to talk. “Sorry, just nervous, I guess.”
His dark eyes raked me from head to toe. “I like it,” he said.
“What? This old thing?” It was a simple country nightgown I’d ordered out of the Vermont Country Store catalog ages ago and one of my favorites, a simple tank-top design up top flowing into an almost-floor-length dress. White cotton with eyelet lace accents. It was cool in the summer time and with the weather getting warmer… Yeah right, the heat in here has nothing to do with the weather.
“Looks nice on you. Would look better on my floor, but we’ll get there in good time.”
I blushed and waved a hand in front of me laughing, and he smiled, looking delicious sitting up in bed, the blankets at his hips, his tattooed and muscled chest on display.
“Come here,” he ordered softly, and it sent a thrill down my spine. He wasn’t asking, and I wasn’t about to get that shy on him. I went around to the side of the bed he’d left vacant for me and he threw back a triangle of blankets to let me get in. Of course, I froze when I realized he wasn’t wearing anything.
“You always sleep in the nude?” I asked.
“Usually. Now get in and come here. I believe I promised you a bedtime story.”
“I believe you did,” I said, and I swear I could barely breathe.
I got in and he pulled me close. I cuddled into his side and kept my arm over his lean hips well above and out of the way of his penis.
Lord have mercy, woman. Since when did you turn into such a prude?
He put his arm around me and cuddled me close and I loved it. It felt safe in his arms, despite his and his club’s reputation… or maybe, if I were being honest, because of it. He lifted the paperback we’d been reading together and I closed my eyes, resting my cheek against his warm skin, as his rough, yet melodic voice picked up where we last left off.
He stopped after a time and I opened my eyes and looked up. His smile was gentle, his eyes kind, and he said, “Thought you was asleep.”