by A. J. Downey
I turned and looked at the sound of approaching footfalls, the sound of sand and gravel half-sloshing, half-crunching beneath bootsoles, and saw Dragon resolutely marching up the shore in my direction, a cold bottle of my favorite beer in one hand and a bottle of his favored Corona in the other. He held out the MGD in my direction and I took it from him.
“You doin’ all right, Sugar?” he asked me softly and I nodded, turning and trailing up the beach to a fallen log that was begging for me to have a seat. Dragon fell into step beside me and asked, “It’s not gettin’ to be too much for you, is it? I know the boys can get kind of rowdy when they cut loose.”
I smiled and shook my head, “Oh, no. Not at all,” I said. “Just taking a bit of a breather and gettin’ a little nostalgic while I was at it.”
“Oh, yeah? How’s that?” he asked, sitting down beside me on the fallen log. I took a drink of my beer, savoring it a moment before swallowing slowly.
“Just remembering this one time Bobby and I took the girls to the Carolina coast. The sound of the water reminded me, sort of. Was one of my first times at the ocean, myself... The girls built sandcastles and I just lounged in the sun reading. It was nice. Peaceful-like. I been gettin’ the same feeling here.”
“Is that right?” he asked, and sounded pleased.
I knocked my shoulder into his.
“How about you?” I asked.
“Honestly,” he said quietly, “this is the most at-peace I’ve felt in a long time.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I more n’ kind of like it, too.”
“Anything that could make it better?” I asked.
“Be kind of nice if we could stop with the pretendin’ to be ‘just friends’ and move the relationship up a notch,” he said.
I chuckled, “Pretty sure we took care of that when we started fuckin.”
He smiled and reached up a hand, grazing my cheek lightly with his thumb. “Didn’t want to take nothin’ for granted,” he said softly. “Quickest way to foul things up.”
I nodded slowly, “It can be.”
He smiled and it made him go from handsome to just plain hot.
“So, whaddaya say? Wanna be my girlfriend?”
I giggled and said, “Isn’t there supposed to be some kind of note with a ‘check yes or no’ along with that question?”
“No paper layin’ around except for one of your books and that right there would be sacrilege.”
“Damn right it would be!” I cried.
He leaned in and kissed me. and I swear, I swooned.
“Didn’t answer my question,” he whispered against my lips as he drew back.
“I thought it was a given,” I said. “I’m here, aren’t I?”
“I’ll be honest with you, Marcie. After my wife died, I had a lot of hard thinkin’ to do.” He turned away from me a little and narrowed his eyes, gazing out across the lake. I didn’t say anything, just left my silence as an open invitation for him to speak his mind.
“I realized just how much I took that woman for granted in a lot of things, how much shit I pulled that just wasn’t fair to her. How often I let her down and wasn’t there when she needed me and how many times she was there for me despite it.” He looked at me, his dark eyes raw and filled with pain, hardening as he issued his promise… “I swear to you, I’ll never treat you that way.”
“I appreciate that,” I said, a bit breathlessly.
He twisted around on the log and lay down, using my lap as a pillow, resting his beer on his broad chest as he looked up at me. I combed my fingers through his hair and he closed his eyes, which made me smile. We sat like that, until the sun went down and I gave a little shiver from the chill now coming off the water. He opened his eyes and said, “Come on back to the cabin with me. I know just how to warm you up.”
I smiled, a wry twist of my lips and said, “Oh, I’ll just bet you do! Count me in.”
He laughed and sat up and I stood, slowly. He took my empty bottle and his in one of his big hands, and my hand in his other, and we walked the path along the lakeshore that joined with the path leading to what he called the ‘officer’s cabin’, which was separate from the main lodge and set back in the trees.
One of the men had his woman up against the wall beside the cabin’s front door. I couldn’t see who with the dark and distance, the porchlight illuminating them, but really, with the way he was kissing the side of her neck, the only thing really visible was her legs wrapped around his hips and that big ol’ patch on his back, the human heart wrapped in barbed wire, the steel pipes belching their flames.
I hesitated, dragging on Dragon’s hand and he chuckled and drew me up beside him. I bit my lips together and he whispered in my ear, “Just Trig and Sunshine. They like when people watch and will do it just about anywhere.”
“Oh, my!” I felt myself blush and found myself wondering, once again, when the hell had I turned into such a prude?
I didn’t think Dragon was too keen on letting me stay that way. He pulled me around in front of him, putting my back to his front, both of us facing the rutting couple on the porch. He rucked up my long skirt in the front, delving a hand down the front of my panties, his rough fingers stroking the lips of my sex, as I gasped quietly.
“You best look,” he murmured darkly in my ear, his fingertips pressing just right into my clit, sending sparks of pleasure out from my center, turning up the heat just enough, just a little, to where I had to bite back a moan. He gently kicked my feet a little wider apart and massaged my pussy.
“That’s my girl, I want you nice and wet for me,” he crooned. His breath was hot against my neck, his teeth gently grasping my earlobe. A shot and shiver of desire went down my neck at the same time it came up from my core, and when it crashed in the middle I had to fight to keep quiet. Those two up on the porch mmight be into being watched, but I wasn’t. I was definitely into watching, though. Especially with Dragon’s fingers against me, working my own desire into a fevered pitch.
I shuddered against him, ached to have him inside me, gasped and panted as he brought me so maddeningly close but it wasn’t going to be an orgasm that would be fulfilling in any kind of way. I was missing an important part of his anatomy for that. I needed to be stretched and filled by his cock when I came, I just did, and his keeping me out here, while scorching hot, just wasn’t doing it for me.
“You need to take me inside,” I demanded and he chuckled darkly.
“Guess you better come for me, Sugar. You come for me, I’ll take you inside and fuck you until you beg me to stop. You come for me now, I’ll give you more than you can handle, later.”
“How about you give it to me now?”
“Greedy little thing, ain’t yah?”
“You make me this way,” I gasped as he drove his fingers deeper between the folds of my pussy lips, coating them in my wetness and slicking them up and over my clit. Fire raced through my veins and I gasped, biting down on my bottom lip to keep from moaning and drawing attention to ourselves. He pressed the front of himself against my ass and I could feel how hot and hard he was through the front of his jeans and the back of my dress.
I groaned as he worked my clit, worked me higher and higher. He encouraged me with fingers against my body, lips against my skin, breath against my neck, voice in my ear…
“Yeah, baby, that’s my girl. Come for me, I wanna feel you shudder against me, I wanna feel you fall. I’ll be right here to catch you, darlin’, you can trust me on that.”
I felt weak in the knees, something I had only experienced once or twice. It scared me, overwhelmed me; I didn’t want to fall for real, but I wanted what he was asking me to do, so badly. I leaned against him heavily and it was as if he was a tree, solid, steadfast, and holding true to his promise. He was gonna catch me, there was no need to be afraid. The knowledge that I really could trust him in this was so powerful it shook me to my core, which gave an answering throbbing contraction.
The orgasm was
swift and swept me off my feet. I sagged back against him and sighed out in a shuddering rush as he worked my body with his one hand, the other arm around me, holding me to him. He smiled against the side of my neck and whispered, “Yeah, that’s it.”
I smiled, too, and smartass that I am, said, “You better finish what you started, inside, if you know what I mean.”
“Oh, you’re gettin’ fucked. I promise you that, Sugar.”
He held onto me until I felt like I was sure enough on my feet. By the time my dress dropped back down around my legs, the couple on the porch were disappearing inside. We waited a few moments before going in ourselves.
The common area of the large cabin was empty, and giggling like teens about to get caught, we dashed into his room where my laughter died on a soft surprised moan at the intensity with which he kissed me.
19
Dragon…
We lay in the dark, Marcie satiated for now, me likewise. She was dead asleep against my chest, curled into my side as I lay on my back, idly touching her soft skin with my rough fingertips. I sighed, slightly unsettled and having no reason as to really why, when a familiar voice from the past spoke from beside the window.
“I thought you didn’t do guilt.”
I blinked and looked over, the moonlight falling through the ancient glass painting her face a whiter shade of pale. Of course, it could just be that I was projecting. I mean, she was dead.
“Dreaming, aren’t I?” I grunted.
“Yes and no,” she said and pushed her hip off the wall, her arms falling to her sides. She was as achingly beautiful as she had ever been, my Tilly, her long dark hair falling in a straight cascade down her back, her lips their usual ruby red, her dark eyes perfectly lined in kohl, wide and vibrant.
“I swear, I will always miss you, baby,” I murmured, the vision of her blurring with the sudden onset of my tears, which left me asking myself if it really were a dream or not. I mean, could you weep in a dream?
She chuckled and walked up, kneeling beside the bed close to me. I turned my head carefully. I didn’t want to wake Marcie. Tilly folded her arms on the mattress and laid her head on them, bringing herself eye-to-eye with me.
“Finding any kind of love again isn’t a betrayal, my love,” she whispered.
I closed my eyes, the familiar fractured ache of grief and loneliness, of heartache and longing rising, fierce, and choking me up.
“I hurt you so bad.” I couldn’t help the broken in my voice. I couldn’t do anything except be raw and honest in this moment.
She smiled at me sadly and reached out, trailing her fingertips through my tears.
“You also brought me the greatest joy in my life; don’t sell yourself short. It. Wasn’t. Your. Fault. You didn’t make the decisions alone. I was a part of everything that was the club just as much as you were. I’m so sorry I left you and Dray, but I’m also so proud of the men you’ve both become.”
She cradled my cheek and I turned my lips into her palm, pressing my lips to her cool skin, breathing in the roses she so loved.
“I still feel so lost without you, Babe.”
She laughed lightly, “You were always the man with the plan, Baby. You always knew what direction to go. Never zigged when you should have zagged, and this is no different. I am happy for you; I like her, and I know you like her too. It may not be the same kind of love, but it is love just the same, and you deserve that happiness. You have my blessing. I don’t know how much clearer I need to be that I approve and I’m afraid this is my last ditch effort to get you to see some fucking reason. She’s good for you. You’re good for each other… and I’m afraid you’re going to need each other until the very end.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked.
She shook her head gently. “I’ve already said too much, and my time is pretty much up.”
“Shit, so soon?”
She rolled her eyes. “I’m not even supposed to be here in the first place. Be glad I don’t follow the rules.”
It was my turn to smile. “You never did.”
“No, I never did.” Her lips curved into the most beautiful smile. It dazzled me, and I just wanted to hold her.
She leaned forward and pressed her lips to mine. I closed my eyes and kissed her back, her lips cold, her lipstick waxy. And when I opened my eyes again, she was gone.
I let my head fall back to the pillow and stared down at Marcie’s peaceful slumbering face.
Tillly was right. It wasn’t the same kind of love, but it was love. I had feelings for Marcie. Where with Tilly, it’d been all fire and passion, with Marcie it was a slower, gentler companionship that was steadily growing into something more. Blooming, like one of Tilly’s roses, into something beautiful and full of life, just not wild. Something cultivated and cultured with care.
“You alright?” she murmured sleepily and I jumped.
“Yeah, why?” I asked, alarmed.
“Think you was dreamin’,” she said.
“Something like that.”
“Mm.” She cuddled closer, and I held her tight and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. She sighed out contentedly and I felt a certain sort of elation before I closed my eyes and went to sleep myself.
Letting go was never fun, especially when you didn’t really have a choice. Sometimes, though, it was a lot less scary to let go when you had something, or in this case, someone to grab onto.
She searched my face in the sunlight streaming through the window Tilly had been at the night before and took a breath to speak. She hesitated, closed her mouth, then thought better of it and spoke her mind.
“I don’t think it was a dream,” she said, finally. “And I don’t think you’re crazy. I mean, I’ve smelled roses around you, too. I had no idea your wife grew them, or that there was any significance to it.”
“Is it bad that all I’m feelin’ right now is relieved you don’t think I’m nuts?”
Marcie laughed and cupped my cheek, she leaned in and kissed me gently, chastely, the same way Tilly had the night before. I closed my eyes, glad she let her warm lips linger on my own.
She heaved a big sigh and said, “I can’t imagine what you two had together,” she said and sounded almost wistful. “I know I could never replace her, and I’m not going to try –“
“Now hold on there, no one said anything about any of that.”
“I know y’ didn’t. You’ve never, not once, made me feel like I’ve been in competition with her, but… I don’t know. I guess it’s different when she shows up like that.”
“I tell you what,” I said, rubbing my eyes with forefinger and thumb. “I think that was it. Never had a goodbye kiss taste so much like goodbye.”
“Guess she sealed things with it,” she murmured.
I nodded and it was my turn to cup her cheek with my hand, smoothing a thumb back and forth, hoping she could feel how much I cherished what we had going on.
She sighed and her shoulders relaxed, her blue eyes slipping shut as she turned her face into my touch.
“I always thought love was love,” I murmured. “And in some ways, it is… but I can honestly tell you…” I paused, thinking just how to word this so it was presented the way I intended and left no room for misunderstanding. “I can honestly tell you, I don’t love her the same as I love you. It’s different. It’s good. It’s probably one of the best things to happen to me yet.”
It was all true, and it was also confusing, how a bastard like me could luck out so completely. I mean, I knew I wasn’t deserving of all these second chances, but here we were all the same. Marcie traced her fingers over my face and I closed my eyes. I wasn’t quite ready to get out of bed yet, and neither was anyone else, I reckoned. It was early yet by hard-partying biker standards. Wasn’t biker morning ‘til after noon. We lay in bed beside each other, facing one another. I’d been touching her lightly, tracing patterns on her exposed skin until goosebumps raised along her arms, and she’d unintentionally begun to
mirror me.
It weren’t doin’ nothin’ for her poor pussy if it needed a break, because her fingertips against my skin was arousing to say the least. My cock stirred beneath the sheet, standing at attention and beggin’ to go home.
“I swear to god, man. You’re insatiable!” Marcie cried when I slid across the crisp cotton sheets and pulled her to me.
“That’s your fault,” I growled and kissed her.
“How’s that?” she demanded after letting out a gasp.
“Can’t get enough of you,” I rumbled against her throat, working my way down.
“How is that my fault?”
“Because you’re you,” I said, as if it were the only explanation ever needed, and to me it was. I took her nipple into my mouth and bit gently, suckling at it until she moaned.
“That doesn’t make any sense,” she said breathlessly.
“Makes all the sense in the world, if you’re me.”
She laughed which turned into a soft whimper when I slid my hand beneath the sheets and cupped her between her legs.
“You good to go or you need a break?” I growled against her breast. She hesitated too long and I chuckled and looked up. “I think I broke you.”
“I’ll mend,” she said and color rose in her cheeks. I crawled up her body and put my mouth on hers. She kissed me back, her hands to either side of my face, her body bowing in my direction, telling me just how much she wanted me, but I wasn’t aiming to hurt her, and I could stand to take a break for her comfort.
“So, what’s the big plan for today?” she asked when we’d settled down some.
“Not sure, baby. Let’s go find out…”
Turns out it was still too early for there to be a plan, which was pretty much what I figured. One of the irrefutable parallels between Tilly and Marcie was that neither one of ‘em could sit still for long. They always had to be doing something or other, even when the goal was to relax and do nothing. For Marcie, doing nothing was pretty much the opposite of relaxing, so I tried to give the rest of the boys and girls of the club the time to sleep and put Marcie’s ass to work making us some coffee in the cabin’s kitchen.