by HMC
Another card flew up and hit me on the nose. ‘The Hermit. Hmmm. Loneliness, withdrawing, silence.’ I thought for a moment. ‘You can’t. You can’t tell me because you’re bound? No, that’s not it.’
All the cards separated from two in the centre, which turned over. The first was Death. The second was Judgment. Anubis stood on the Death card holding a golden vase. The scales stood behind him at the ‘weighing of the souls.’ Anubis then ushered souls to the afterlife.
‘Afterlife. Life. Death. You and Anna always taught me Death was a good card, a card of change and growth. And Judgement?’ I got up to write the two cards down. ‘This might take me some time.’ I looked up at the roof as if she’d be there, ‘I don’t have time, Cat. You’ve gotta help me sooner.’ Frustrated I kneeled on the bed and gathered the cards up. ‘Maybe you can’t talk to me because you’re afraid the wrong person will hear.’
My legs wobbled. My vision blurred. I fell hard to the ground.
Visita – Sunday, January 25th at 10:18AM. My bedroom floor.
The waves crashed, and the sun beat down like seven hells. The furnace heat and the cawing gulls urged me to wake, but I couldn’t sit up yet. I was too heavy and groggy. Had I fallen asleep sunbathing again? Damn! I’d be fried like an egg. I rubbed my arms. They were burnt, but fortunately, I wasn’t too crispy. My first day of prac was coming up, and I didn’t want to go in looking like a giant lobster squeezed into its Sunday Best – a burnt teacher giving sun-safety talks wasn’t a good look.
My mind filled with a hissing sound, like a pressure cooker on high, and I grabbed at my temples. I sat up.
What was that?
I looked down to see my black pants, Converse shoes, and a red top. The kind of thing I wore all the time, but never to the beach. I couldn’t think straight. Come on, Mouse, think. What’s going on? Hadn’t I just been in my bedroom?
My bottom felt like it was in cement, rather than sitting in the sand, and my muscles ached as I pulled myself up. Walking felt like I was in one of those dreams where you were about to be chased by something terrifying, and then BAM! Low and behold, you couldn’t run anywhere, because for some unknown reason, you forgot how to use your legs. Awesome.
The surf was empty, and that’s when I realised, I was in a visita again. Okay, I could handle this. Right? I prayed to God, some God, somewhere, that Sonny Albright wouldn’t show up again with his bloated tummy and blue lips, spitting out objects at me to wear as jewellery. I looked around for him all the same. There was nothing happening. Even the gulls I’d heard when I woke up were gone.
The blast-furnace breeze slapped my face, and the sand pelted my raw arms like buckshot.
It hurt.
If this was the shape of things to come for me, where my visions could get dangerous, I really didn’t want them anymore.
I checked my pocket for my phone. It was nine AM. There should be plenty of people around by now. Exercise freaks should be tearing along the sand in Lorna Jane shorts and bikini tops, sizing up the other exercise freaks. Then there should’ve been sunbathers, and people swimming. The red and yellow lifeguard flags should have already been set up, too.
But the place was deserted.
Usually, I’d see everything in future ‘real time.’
I checked my phone again, and six missed calls and a message from Trent popped up:
Mouse, where are you? Are you okay?
Two excellent questions. I trotted up the beach, and I looked around for someone, anyone, with no luck.
I got to the highway – no cars, either.
Was this the end of the world I was seeing? Some re-enactment of The Stand? Had the air been polluted with a toxin that had taken out the Gold Coast population? Surely I’d see bodies, and even a gist of what went on, so I could stop it.
The hissing returned, this time stronger. A kettle boiled in my head.
‘What is this!?’
The hissing stopped and was replaced with whispers.
Ven a mí, Ven a mí.
It was my own voice in Spanish. Come to me, it said.
‘Cat? Where?’ This didn’t feel good. Cat always did. Her messages came with a sense of lightness and wellbeing.
A little girl moved out from behind a tree. Her skin was pale and bloated like Sonny’s was when I found him in the water. Her eyes were swollen and sad. Long wet hair clung to her cheeks and the closer I got, the more she looked like me.
Me as a child.
Me as a drowned child. She opened her mouth and her two front teeth were missing. She pointed down the street. I tried to talk to her but my mouth wouldn’t open. She shook her head sadly and continued to point until I moved past.
The windows of the empty houses grew, the nothingness inside made plain. I was on Christine Avenue standing before a house. The house with the cream walls and an electric gate. I couldn’t recall how it was significant to me. When I tried to reach for a memory, there was nothing there. I was looking for a light-switch that somebody had moved in the dark.
A deep loneliness crept over me. A sorrow. Someone else’s sorrow. I walked and I cried. Melancholy swallowed me up to the point where it was hard to see. My body wailed with sadness, weights of death and loss heavy on my chest, sweaty, strong hands around my throat. I couldn’t breathe!
‘¡Deteneos! Stop! Do not kill her.’ It wasn’t my voice. ‘An eye for an eye.’
I was choking now. My throat was on fire from the pain. I fell to my knees, and they hit the cement path so hard, my kneecaps tore from my legs. The blood! The agony. My trembling body was lifted into the air. My hands tore at the unseen hands at my throat. If I didn’t get air soon, I’d be dead. Dead as Aunt Catalina. Dead as Sonny Albright. Dead as – the fire started, pocking my tortured skin with deep, ghastly burns. Death, a former enemy, would now be the friend to release me from this impossible suffering.
I was almost gone. At least I’d get to see Cat again. We could look after Mum and Anna from a distance. We could make sure Sonny never went near the water again.
I was falling, and finally, the pain subsided. Let go.
MODESTA !
The ankh around my neck felt cold.
‘En la oscuridad, donde reside el mal, invoco la luz en mi corazón.’
She chanted...or someone did.
I didn’t know what it meant, but I memorised the words. They resonated over and over, and I chanted, too. The ankh burst open. Water poured over my burning body. The relief was instant.
I fell to the hard ground.
I woke on the floor. Wshen I sat up my head pounded. More pain. My visions were making no sense and they were coming at me faster than ever. I checked my knees. They were fine. I pulled myself up onto my bed and opened my top bedside drawer. I filled a small crystal sack. ‘Agate, protection, celestite, guidance. Elestial to uncover secrets, calcite to reduce fear and make me invisible,’ I whispered as I put the sack into my pocket. ‘By the light of day, I’m dark as night. Keep me safe and out of sight.’ I sent a prayer up to my deity, Criede, and hoped she was listening.
Someone on Christine Avenue was about to get a visit.
The birds’ incessant squawks were rivalled only by the pervasive auto exhaust as I made my way to Christine Avenue by foot. Since I’d made my decision to spy on our psycho-neighbour and her son, I’d been in such a rush to get dressed I’d only just noticed what I had on.
Cons, black pants, red top.
I shrugged. Changing your clothes wouldn’t stop the future from happening but the thought of the pain in my last visita still caused a knot in my throat and butterflies in my belly.
I clung to the crystal sack in my pocket, thinking about the little girl with the missing teeth in my vision, the one who looked like me. Holding my breath as I walked past the tree she’d appeared behind, I watched the spot. She never came.
P-plater cars hooned past with people yahooing. A guy with the Australian flag painted down his face stuck his head out of the passenger side window
and called, ‘Hey, baby!’
I shook my head, ‘no.’ He stuck his middle finger up at me. Very Aussie. And up yours too, mate.
The house was ahead. I couldn’t be sure if it belonged to Aidah and Hamish. All signs pointed that way. Mum’s words ‘look for the signs’ echoed in my head and I was able to convince myself I wasn’t that crazy.
I’d never get over that electric gate without being noticed, so I ducked around the side of the house next door, hoping my prayer and crystals would keep me invisible. I had to believe strongly in my craft today – one must believe it strongly every day – but I sometimes fell short, just a little. There were times I just sucked it up and did what had to be done.
I wished Trent was with me. Not only would he make me feel a whole lot safer, he could boost me over the fence I was trying to climb. I finally pulled myself up onto the fence and checked for fierce, undead, demon guard dogs, before throwing my leg over. No dogs, check. I landed, rather ungracefully, on the other side. I stood too quickly and my ankle gave way and twisted.
I fell.
Too bad if Aidah decided to chase me now. I’d be dead three times over.
This seemed like a really bad idea now that I was here. Courage went on a break for a second. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Sonny’s dead face appeared behind my closed eyes, and I’d be damned if I was going to let some witch-hag from out of town take my bestie’s little brother without a fight – one of us was going down – and it was all right if it was me. Aidah would still have Anna, Mum, Trent, and Rick and Carey Albright to get through. And Nanna Albright, too.
I edged along the side of the house and peered into a window. Luckily it was only one level, or then I’d really be in trouble. Tree-climbing was not my thing. I’d never make a great stalker. It was easy to see into their living room. Boxes lined the walls. They had old, mismatched sofas and tatty artwork. It looked like Aidah and Hamish were collectors. What they’d unpacked looked antique, including the ornate, framed pieces of jewellery they had already put up on the walls. Jewellery. I grabbed the ankh on my neck, half expecting it to have disappeared. It was still there.
I caught a glimpse of Hamish. There. It is your place. He came into the living room, and I side-stepped out of view. I waited a moment then ventured another look. He started to unpack some boxes. Nothing unusual here. I crept along the side of the house. Maybe I’d see Aidah. Oh, hey, I’m your new neighbour. Don’t mind me. It’s protocol to peep through each others’ windows at random intervals.
Most of the curtains were closed along the side of the house. I went to make my way around the back. There she was.
My breath caught in my throat. She was sunbathing in a lie low by a pool, reading something. Her body was perfectly sculpted and tanned – not really the hag from my vision, but she had started out beautiful hadn’t she – before her disgusting tongue invaded my ear?
Aidah still wore her gigantic sunnies and floppy hat. I had no funny vibes. Either the celestite and elestial weren’t working, or this was all something I had built up in my head, given energy to, and turned into a thing that wasn’t an actual threat. Maybe Anna’s reading the other day was picking up some old vibes that were benign. I clutched my crystals and focussed.
Still nothing.
This wasn’t helpful at all. In fact, now that I was completely second-guessing myself, it was time to go home and re-group.
I turned and bounced right off of Hamish’s chest!
He grabbed my wrists and demanded, ‘What are you doing?’ He dragged me back around the side of the house as I struggled to break free. ‘You shouldn’t have come here,’ he growled, glaring. ‘Are you insane?’ He dropped my wrists as if they were coated in sewage.
‘Uh … no.’ I managed to say, rubbing the sore and bruised areas. ‘And don’t you ever touch me again, you psycho.’
‘Me, the psycho? You’re the…’ He bit his lip. ‘Never mind. Just leave.’ He pushed a hidden button inside his pocket, and the gate opened. Hamish pointed to the exit.
‘I’m already gone.’ I stormed out, adrenaline pumping from both the fear of being caught and the relief from not being eaten by bruja and son. I heard the electric gate close after me as I power walked as fast as I could.
‘Wait.’ Hamish was suddenly behind me. I quickened my pace. ‘Wait!’ he said again as he ran up beside me. ‘I can’t believe I’m doing this.’
I stormed on. ‘Go away,’ I said. He grabbed me by the shoulder. ‘I said, don’t touch me!’
Then, I turned and punched him square in the forehead.
‘Ouch!’ we cried in unison. My ring left a bloody spot by his eyebrow and the whole top of his t-zone went bright red. He reeled forward and put a hand over his brow. My hand throbbed. I tried to stop him from falling forward, but to no avail. He fell to his knees on the grass by the footpath.
‘Jesus Christ! Was that really necessary?’ He gathered himself and got back up. He frowned at me, shook his head, and turned back towards his house.
‘Hamish!’ I called.
He turned, gave me that horrendous glare, and stormed back over. ‘How do you know my name?’
‘I … your mum, Aidah, said in the shop. To the girl at the counter.’ I said. Great, Mouse. Why don’t you tell him everything you know?
‘Listen, I don’t know who you are, or what your deal is,’ he said. ‘But stay the hell away from me and my mother, you hear me?’
My throat tightened. I nodded. This seemed to be just some normal guy. His mother seemed normal, too. I was deflated like a limp balloon. I turned and made my way home.
‘Anna?’ I sat on my bed and played with the ankh around my neck.
‘Hi, kiddo. Sorry I missed your call, I had my phone on silent. I don’t know why it keeps doing that.’ There was a long pause. ‘How you doin’?’
‘Not so great,’ I said.
‘Do you need me to come back over?’ said Anna.
‘No, it’s not that, it’s just … well.’
‘Spit it out, Mouse. It’s me here,’ she said.
‘I’m worried everything that’s going on isn’t quite right. I mean already it’s not right, but all my visitas prior to today have been pretty clear, pretty straight-forward. I see something, I stop it from happening. The vision gives me the detail, like where and when, right?’
‘Right,’ she said. ‘Slow down. Take your time so I can understand you.’
‘Okay, sorry. So, I usually have a vision like once or twice a year. Now I’m having visions all over the place. There’s no time indications, I just, I’m not used to having so little control.’
‘What do you mean visions all over the place? There was the one with the woman in the mirror. That’s all that’s happened so far, Mouse, isn’t it?’
I didn’t answer.
‘Mouse!’
‘I feel like I’m going crazy,’ I whispered.
‘Modesta, I’m coming over.’
‘No, that’s just it. I’m all right. I feel like everything is just fine.’
Anna coughed. ‘Really? Everything is just fine, but you’re going insane.’
‘Yeah, I think maybe I’m under a lot of stress from uni and I just need to relax a bit.’ Anna didn’t speak. She just breathed calmly on the other end. I was annoyed. ‘Anna, say something.’
‘Something.’
I laughed. ‘Do you think everything is okay?’ I said.
‘I don’t know, kiddo. I don’t like what happened the other day Not one bit. That take-over and that reading I did. I’m going to school tomorrow to do some protection work. I still feel like something’s off. You’re off too. Maybe take it real easy, all right?’
‘Yeah.’ I thought of Sonny. It was his school, too. ‘We can’t be too careful. Whether it’s all in my head or not, it’s worth doing the protection spells. I’ll help you.’
‘Good girl.’ Anna said. ‘It’s good practise, regardless. And a rite is more powerful with a coven. Connie can come, too
.’
A sadness came. A rock-like feeling sat in the pit of my stomach. We were supposed to be a coven. Anna, Cat, Mum, and I, but it never came about.
‘Mum isn’t magic but,’ I’d said to Cat when I was small.
‘You don’t say but at the end of a sentence, Mouse. No, Connie isn’t magic in the way you are, or in the way Anna is,’ she had said, as she was cooking me some rice. ‘But, everyone is magic, Modesta Castro, and don’t you forget it. Now pass me the salt.’ I smiled at the thought of Aunt Catalina making me her horrid, half-cooked rice. I’d eat it a thousand times over if I had the chance now.
‘So,’ I said to Anna. ‘How much salt are you going to need to do an entire school?’
She chuckled. ‘We don’t need salt but we need a lot of chalk. I’m pretty sure we’ve got that covered.’
I rested like Anna told me to. That night I didn’t dream.
Mouse’s Journal
My fifth visita – 14th November, 2010. Kitchen. Elder Entrance.
My class was practising Double Double Toil and Trouble, upon request from our choir teacher, and I sang for Mum in the kitchen. I stopped as a man came to me. ‘I’m here to cut the trees down out front,’ he said. Blood clotted at his temple like he’d been dead a little while. He wore a bright green shirt, and still held part of his harness in his hands.
‘Where are you?’ I asked the usual question. He looked around, confused. ‘Are you in Queensland?’ I knew I had little time before he disappeared. Mum stayed silent, staring at me.
‘We’re a Melbourne-based business,’ he said.
‘How wonderful. What’s the name of your business?’
Mum smiled at me and nodded in encouragement. She knew I was having a vision. She had been through it with Cat.