by Susan Meier
Chance brought Cindy out of the nursery and she swallowed again. And what about Chance? Would she leave him alone with two babies?
Chance said, “Here’s Miss Cindy Lou.”
She laughed shakily, swiped a tissue from the end table and blotted her eyes.
When Chance got close enough, Cindy reached for her and she took her from his arms, allowing herself to silently admit that she needed to be here as much as the babies and Chance needed her here. Cindy and Sam and even Chance filled her with hope and happiness. Something she hadn’t felt in five long years, something she might not have felt again, were it not for them.
Still, in the days that followed, she withdrew another bit from Chance. But bundled in her coat on Christmas Eve, she glanced around making sure he wasn’t in the great room and slid a gift for him and each twin under the tree. Then she ambled to the nursery to say Merry Christmas and be off for her holiday.
He handed her a Christmas bonus.
She glanced at the envelope in her hand. “You know, you don’t have to keep doing this.”
He put one finger under her chin to lift her gaze to his. “I like you. I know you want to go to school eventually and this will help.”
She stepped back, away from him. The kids bounced eagerly in their cribs as if they understood all the things she’d told them about Santa Claus.
Her breath shivered in her lungs. She’d miss seeing them open their gifts. That hurt so much, she almost couldn’t breathe.
She took another step back. “Yes. Thanks.” Then she raced from the cottage before she couldn’t leave at all.
* * *
Christmas morning, Chance was awakened by two screaming babies. He bounced out of bed and raced into the nursery. With her hands on the crib railing, supporting her, Cindy bounced up and down and cried unusually hard, as if she knew Tory was gone. Sam sat in his crib crying.
Well, giving his nanny the week from Christmas to New Year’s Day off had been a brilliant idea.
He walked over to Cindy. “I’m coming. I’m coming.” He lifted her from the crib. “We’re all going to miss Tory, but not having her here getting all bound up in our holiday is for the best.” Inspiration struck as he laid her on the changing table. “Hey! As soon as we get you two changed, you get to open presents.”
As if understanding, Cindy stopped crying. He made short order of her diaper and then Sam’s, quickly fed them cereal and set them in walkers near the tree.
Sam stared at the tree in wonder, but Cindy’s gaze followed him as he raced to find his video camera. When he returned to the tree, he turned it on, and the tree lights…but something felt wrong. Missing.
He sighed. Of course something felt missing. Tory was missing. That’s why he’d given her so much time off. He didn’t want to get her any more tangled up in his life than she already was. It hurt her. And it confused him.
He blew his breath out on a sigh, considered calling his mom to come down and help or even just to watch, but that made him swallow hard. This video would be Tory’s only way to see the twins on Christmas morning and somehow or another he felt having his mom in the frames would take away from the intimacy of that.
He snorted a laugh and shook his head at the stupidity of that. He might have been strong enough to let her go for the holiday, but he wasn’t perfect.
“Okay, we’re all set,” he said, reaching under the tree to get a gift for each child and set them on their walker trays. He grabbed the camera. “Okay. Go. Rip off the paper.”
Cindy played with hers a bit. Sam tried to stick his in his mouth. Chance got two minutes of that footage, then he realized it would take all day to open their presents if they kept this up. So he set the camera on the second step of the three-step ladder, about knee high. It recorded everything about the twins and only got shots of him when he ducked into the frame to give each kid a gift.
Even that process took an hour. He hadn’t realized how many gifts he and Tory had chosen for these two. But he also hadn’t missed one second of the kids’ first Christmas. And now neither would Tory.
Thinking of how happy she’d be to see this video, he glanced down and saw a flicker of light bounce off green foil paper. Paper he didn’t remember buying. He reached down, pulled the package out from under the tree and saw it was a gift to him, from Tory.
He swallowed. He hadn’t bought her one because he worried she’d think it too personal. That she’d feel guilty getting it. The best he could do was give her a bonus.
He sat. Stared at the pretty green package. His heart filled with trepidation. What could she possibly have bought him that wouldn’t be too personal, yet would still be a real gift?
Slowly, almost afraid, he tore the green paper. When it opened far enough he saw it was a book. Avoiding Sibling Rivalry.
He laughed. He’d said he worried about the kids competing and she’d listened.
She always listened.
She always did the right thing.
And it was going to kill him when he lost her.
But he would lose her. Before her accident, she’d already completed almost two years of schooling. Once she got herself organized, she’d go back for refreshers on her basic classes then only need about two years or so to finish her degree.
Then she’d be gone. And losing her would hurt worse than losing a hundred Liliahs.
CHAPTER TWELVE
WHEN TORY RETURNED ON January second, she felt good again. Normal. Eager to see the kids, but grounded about her responsibilities to Jason. He’d taken the brunt of the accident for her. She would stand by him.
But as soon as she opened the door to the cottage, she knew something was wrong.
Sliding out of her new black wool peacoat—a Christmas gift from her parents—she said, “What’s wrong?”
Chance faced her with a laugh. “What? No hello? Just what’s wrong?”
“I can feel it in the air.”
“It’s no big deal. Sam’s nose is runny. That’s all.”
She rushed over to the highchair where Sammy sat. “Oh?”
“We took him to Doctor Nelson and he said Sam was getting a cold. Again, not a big deal.”
She kissed his forehead. “Well, it might not be a big deal to Dr. Nelson, but it’s a big deal to us.”
Sam raised his hands, asking to be held and she lifted him from the highchair. He snuggled into her neck.
Contentment overtook motherly worry. If something was really wrong with Sam, she would handle it. If he only needed a little pampering while he had the sniffles, she would provide it.
“So what else happened?”
“They liked their presents. I’ve got a video of Christmas morning we can watch tonight, if you want.”
“I’d love to.” She bounced Sam then smiled at Chance, so damned glad to be home she could burst, but also glad she had her priorities in order again. “What else?”
“My mom showed them off to most of the population of the free world.”
She laughed.
“And speaking of my mom, she’s gone to Houston to visit friends for the entire month of January.”
Tory gaped at him. “The entire month?”
“She hates winter.”
“Well, don’t we all?”
He sniffed a laugh and walked to the closet for a topcoat to put over his suit jacket. “Anyway, she’ll be gone, but Cook’s your backup for lunch or if you need help, any help at all, since she doesn’t have any cooking to do.”
“Sounds great.”
* * *
Chance turned and forced himself to smile. She looked rested, but she also looked happy to be home. That was enough. It had to be enough. Her happiness to see the twins was all he was allowed. “Good. I’ll see you around six or so.”
He left the house and made his way through the bitter winter wind to his SUV. He jumped inside, hit the button for a CD and pretended everything was fine. He hadn’t missed the hell out of her for the week she was gone. He hadn’t wanted to
kiss her hello, brag about how good the kids were at his mother’s Christmas and New Year’s Eve parties. He hadn’t wanted to tell her how much the kids loved the Christmas gifts she had chosen.
He wouldn’t let himself think of wanting those things because they were irrelevant. But that didn’t stop the ache in his chest for something he couldn’t have. His only choice was to wish she’d walk away from a commitment that actually made her the strong, loyal woman that had drawn him. And the thought of wishing that turned his stomach.
But he was so alone and so tempted that something had to give.
In fact, he genuinely believed his head was telling him he should continue to remind Tory that a real man wouldn’t expect a woman to wait for him under these circumstances.
But his heart simply wouldn’t let him. He’d seen the hurt look on her face when he’d suggested it before. He couldn’t bear to see that look again.
When he reached his office, his brother Max was waiting for him, sitting behind his desk, as if he belonged there.
“So, here he is, man of the hour with the two cutest kids in the world.”
Chance slid his briefcase to his desk and shrugged out of his topcoat. “Your kids aren’t so bad themselves.”
Max rose. “Trisha’s a handful.”
“Trisha is you about thirty years ago. Just wait till she goes to the pet store and buys a rat.” He hung his coat in the closet then faced Max. “So what’s up? Why are you sitting at my desk?”
“I wanted to get you before anybody else did. Our partners from Japan surprised us with a meeting this morning.”
“Meeting or inspection?”
“They’re calling it a meeting but we all know it’s an inspection. I don’t care what’s on your agenda, cancel it. You and I will be playing tour guides all day.”
He groaned. “Really?”
“And turn off your cell. Nothing that happens today will be more important than these guys.”
He clicked the button to turn off his phone. “Got it.”
Max laughed. “And smile. You have two adorable children. You’re a partner in Montgomery Development and yet you still have time for your own company in Tennessee. Your mom loves you and you’re my brother. These guys think you have it better than Prince Harry.”
He snorted a laugh. When Max put it that way, he did feel ashamed for being so down today. He tossed his phone to his desk. Max was right. He had a lot more than most people. He should be happy and shouldn’t be pining over a woman he couldn’t have.
He walked out with Max, but in the last second, his nerves got the better of him. He couldn’t miss the chance to hear her voice, especially if she called to tell him something adorable one of the kids had done. “I’m getting my cell.”
Max sighed. “At least turn off the ringer.”
* * *
After the babies’ naps, Tory noticed a big change in Sam and called Cook. “He’s listless.”
“He has a cold.”
“This is more than a cold. I can feel it in my bones. I want to call Dr. Nelson. But I’d also like for you to come down in case Doc wants me to bring him into the office for another checkup.”
“I’ll be there in ten minutes.”
She called Dr. Nelson’s office, and as she suspected they wanted her to bring Sam in. As Cook slid him into a snowsuit, she put on her peacoat, grabbed her cell and speed dialed Chance’s number. In four rings, it went to voice mail.
“I don’t want to scare you, but Sam didn’t look very well after his nap so I called Dr. Nelson and he wants to see him again this morning.” She paused, giving herself a second to get the panic out of her voice. She seriously hoped there was nothing wrong with her sweet baby boy, that his listlessness was only another symptom of his cold, but she had a horrible, horrible feeling that it was more and she couldn’t shake it. “So call me when you get this.”
Cook put Sam in her arms and she raced out to her car, but Robert was already in the driveway with Gwen’s SUV. He opened the back door, revealing her twin car seats.
“The Missus likes to be prepared and I don’t want you driving.”
She smiled her thanks. “I appreciate this.” Then she slid Sam into his car seat and ran to the passenger’s side door.
Robert had them in town in only a few minutes. He parked in front of the building housing the doctor’s office and helped her get Sam out of his seat because her hands were shaking.
At the window for the receptionist, she said, “I called Dr. Nelson this morning. Sam is sick.” Her eyes filled with tears. “He said to bring him right in.”
A nurse appeared at the door to the right and motioned for Tory to come back to an exam room. Once inside, the nurse took Sam and unzipped his snowsuit. “Hey, sweet Sammy,” she crooned, obviously familiar with the baby. “We saw Sam two days ago when Chance brought him in.” She smiled. “I’m guessing you’re the nanny.”
Tory nodded.
“He signed papers for you to authorize treatment.”
She breathed a sigh of relief, then pulled her cell phone from her jacket pocket. She hit the speed dial for Chance’s cell phone, but again it went to voice mail.
“Sammy,” the nurse crooned again, trying to wake him, just as Dr. Nelson entered the room.
“Now, what this I hear about Sam being sick again?”
The nurse gave the doctor a meaningful glance as she laid the baby on an exam table that looked like one of their changing tables at home. The doctor walked over and opened both of Sam’s eyes, peering into them, then he whispered something to the nurse who raced out of the room.
“You’re Tory, right?”
Tory nodded.
“Okay. I need you to call Chance. I’m sending Sam to the hospital.”
* * *
When Chance put on his jacket after a two-hour lunch, he felt his cell phone vibrating. Unfortunately, the call went to voice mail before he could answer it. That was when he noticed he had eight missed calls.
He heard the shiver of fear in Tory’s voice when he listened to the first message saying they were going back to Dr. Nelson’s office. And she was crying by the time he got to message number eight, the one when she told him Sam was at the hospital and she was in a waiting room and she hadn’t heard anything from anybody for forty minutes.
He didn’t even say goodbye to Max or their guests. He ran to his office, got his topcoat and keys and left for the hospital. He called Tory and she tearfully told him she was in the third floor waiting room with Robert and he should meet her there.
It seemed to take forever for the elevator to get him to the third floor. As he stepped out, he saw Tory, pacing in the hall. She turned and saw him and the next thing he knew she was in his arms sobbing.
“I don’t know what happened! I don’t know what’s wrong!”
She clung to him, obviously sharing the same desperation that raced through his blood. He slid his lips over her hair, her forehead. “It’s fine. Everything will be fine.” Though deep down inside he didn’t know anything of the sort. All he knew was his baby was sick, they were both scared to death and in his heart he knew he had to comfort her.
“Let’s not panic until we hear from the doctor.”
She began to shiver. “But it’s never good news. Never good news!”
Though fear for Sam still paralyzed him, he suddenly realized Tory’s fears were a hundred times worse. She’d been here. Probably this very hospital. With a shattered leg and a dying boyfriend.
He smoothed his hand down her hair. “Hey. Shh. It’s going to be okay. Dr. Nelson is the best.”
Even as he said that, Dr. Nelson walked out of a swinging door. “Chance. I see you made it.”
The very fact that his voice was calm sent a river of relief through Chance. Still, when he turned to face the doctor, he kept his arm around Tory, supporting her. “Stupid meetings. My brother told me to turn off my cell—” He sucked in a breath. “How is he?”
“He’s fine. His fever got
to him. Apparently the meds we prescribed didn’t take his fever down enough. We have it down now, but I’d like him to spend the night.” He smiled. “Just in case.”
Chance wanted to collapse with relief. Tory gasped twice then threw herself into his arms again and wept. Dr. Nelson said, “He’s in room 312 when you’re ready.” Then he turned and walked over to the nurse’s station.
Chance squeezed Tory against him. He felt everything she felt, wanted to cry as much as she did, and simply basked in the fact that he wasn’t alone. Neither was she. They had each other.
They had each other.
But they didn’t really.
She belonged to someone else and every time he held her or kissed her, he trespassed.
He eased back, setting her a few feet away from him.
She smiled sheepishly at him. “I’m so sorry.”
“For?”
“I panicked. I got emotional.”
He smiled ruefully. He didn’t want to remind her that this hospital probably brought back terrible memories for her. Instead, he directed the conversation as far away from Jason and her accident as he could. “I like that you’re emotional about my kids. It means you love them. It means they get the benefit of that every day.”
She shook her head, and smiled, then caught his gaze again. But after only a second, her smile faded. Her eyes filled with wonder, she put her hand on his cheek, feathered her fingers along his jawline.
It was as if she was seeing him for the first time. Or maybe realizing for the first time how close they’d become.
He held perfectly still. Didn’t even breathe. He wanted this woman so much that it hurt to even think about it. And he wouldn’t jeopardize what was happening right now by saying or doing something that would break the trance she seemed to be in.
She stretched forward and placed her lips on his. Softly. Easily. Then she pulled back, studying his eyes again.
He tried to tell her everything he felt without saying a word. That he needed her. That he loved how good she was with his kids. That there was something between them that should be explored.