It’s true, Lili. Sometimes you do have to laugh to keep from crying. And sometimes the world feels all right and good and kind of like it’s becoming nice again around you. And you realize it, and realize how happy you are in it, and you just gotta laugh.
There’s peace at our house tonight, Lili. I hope there’s some at your house too.
Locomotion
Dear Lili,
Today when I got home from school, Jenkins was in the living room. He had his crutches and he was taking real slow steps around the room with them. Those crutches been sitting outside his room for a long time but he never wanted to use them. He always said This wheelchair is fine! but when he said it, you knew it was because he was mad that he had to use anything, let alone some crutches. He’s so tall, Lili! I couldn’t believe it. I just stood there looking up at him. And when he saw me, he said, This is hard, Li’l Brother, but I’m gonna do it. Then he took some more small steps and sat back down in his wheelchair with a real tired sigh. I just gotta keep practicing, he said. Gotta keep on keeping on. Then he cursed real soft and dropped his head into his hands. I told him if he wanted to, I could help him get in and out of the wheelchair and up onto the crutches. I really didn’t know if I was strong enough to help someone as big as Jenkins, but I sure did want to try. The way I figured it, Jenkins and Miss Edna and Rodney’d helped me a lot and it wasn’t a whole lot to help him, but it was something. I know they’re not expecting any kind of payback, but it felt real good to think that maybe there was something I could do in the family. I didn’t know if Jenkins heard me at first, but then after a minute passed, he lifted his head, nodded and told me I was a good kid and that most likely, he’d take me up on my offer. My body’s getting stronger every day, so I’m ready to try.
Love,
Locomotion
Dear Lili,
A few days ago, Miss Edna took some pictures of me, Rodney and Jenkins. Me and Rodney were sitting on the couch and Jenkins was in his wheelchair. Miss Edna said, I can’t believe I’m going to finally have some pictures of my three favorite men.
And guess what? Today we got the pictures back. Miss Edna waited until we was all sitting down for dinner before she pulled them out. She said, I got something I think is going to crack a smile out of the hardest nut. Then she showed us the pictures and there was Jenkins, not even smiling one bit but giving me rabbit ears!
We laughed for a long, long time.
Love and Peace and
Rabbit Ears,
Locomotion
Dear Lili,
When Jenkins leans on me to get out of that wheelchair and onto those crutches, it’s like there’s a giant on my shoulders. And sometimes it feels like I’m just gonna fall right down under all that weight. But I don’t, Lili. I stay standing.
I stay standing.
Peace, Lili.
Locomotion
Dear Lili,
This morning when I was walking to school, I saw Miss Shore’s crocuses pushing up out of the dirt. I stopped to look at them and she came out of her house. I thought she was going to chase me away with her broom, but she didn’t even have it with her. She asked me what I was looking at and I told her I was looking at her flowers. Those are crocuses, she said. I wanted to say I know because if there’s one flower I know, it’s crocuses. When we were little, Mama used to always point them out to us. She’d say Spring’s coming. And sometimes I’d laugh and tell her it’s too cold for spring to be coming. And then she’d point and show me the shoots coming up out of the ground. Crocuses, Lonnie, she’d say. That’s always the first sign.
That’s the first sign of spring, I said to Miss Shore.
Miss Shore gave me a look—like she thought I was making fun of her. But then she smiled and said, It sure is. And it can’t come a moment too soon now, can it?
Spring’s coming, Lili. Rodney said spring is usually the most peaceful time. So I guess all that praying for Peace me and you did is finally paying off.
I could feel Miss Shore watching me walk down the block. But her eyes on my back didn’t feel mean. They felt warm. Like she was watching me and watching over me at the same time. When I got to the end of the block, I took a deep breath and looked up into the sky. It was real blue and real clear. It made me think that somewhere not too far away from us, Peace was coming. Slowly. But it was on its way.
Love and Peace,
Locomotion
Imagine Peace Again
I think it’s your family
And your friends like Clyde holding the ball out to you
And letting you take that extra shot.
I think Peace is springtime and your whole family
Having a picnic after your brother Jenkins
Has walked down three flights of stairs
With just his crutches and
That big grin he gets these days because
He’s happy
To be alive. Imagine
Peace is that moment when
Rodney and Jenkins both
Stare up at the blue sky
And watery sun.
Peace is your sister running to you at Prospect Park,
Throwing her arms around you and saying
I’ve missed you a million, Lonnie.
Peace is the good stuff
That happens to all of us
Sometimes.
Lonnie Collins Motion
Peace, Locomotion Page 7