by P. G. Van
I looked out of the window thinking about what this meant and how this new phase of my life was going to go. I have had hopes of being happy again from the time Nick came back into my life. I wondered if he was the key to my happiness. I looked at Nick through my lashes and hoped that he would be mine forever and wondered if that was even possible.
*****
Nick pulled into the guest parking in the underground parking of our apartment community, and I looked around for Srini’s car in the parking and did not see it. Hoping that Nate and Srini were away, I very slowly opened the apartment front door. I immediately heard hooting sounds from the kitchen as Nick and I walked into the apartment. Nate and Srini had started passing comments and making weird noises all at the same time in an effort to tease us.
“Guys, give me a second please. I am going to go change and then I will listen to everything and anything you want to say,” I said as I dashed into my bedroom and closed the bedroom door behind me.
I was almost done changing when I heard a soft knock on the door.
“Meera, open up,” Nate said almost whispering.
“Nate, I am not done yet,” I said opening the door and pulling on my jeans.
Nate hugged me and said cheerfully, “I am so happy you found love after all these years. You are the best thing that happened to Nick.”
“Ohh Nate, my sweet sis,” I said hugging her back and added, “I am not sure if its love yet and don’t get carried away.”
“You did not see Nick at the ceremony last night. He just would not take his eyes off you,” she said with a twinkle in her eye.
I blushed and said, “The credit goes to you for making me look good.”
“Well, you are welcome. So, what happened last night?” Nate asked shamelessly and with curiosity.
“Nate, we are not teenagers anymore, stop it,” I said and added mocking her, “Srini and you are way more advanced in that department.”
Nate blushed and hugged me planting a kiss on my cheek.
“Let’s go. Nick is waiting for you to eat breakfast,” Nate said smiling, and we both headed back into the dining area.
“Thank you for making breakfast for us Nethra, and I don’t understand why you guys are going out for breakfast,” Nick said as Nate and Srini were leaving the apartment.
“We are going out for brunch, you are welcome, and thanks for brining my baby sister home in one piece,” Nate said taunting Nick, and for the first time I saw Nick blush and smile to himself.
Nate had made the traditional south Indian breakfast of idlis with mint chutney. Idlis are rice and lentil cakes made by steaming fermented rice-lentil batter. After eating all the good stuff that Nate made for us, Nick and I settled down on the couch to watch TV. A few minutes later, I heard light snoring, and it was Nick. I giggled softly remembering that we barely got any sleep last night. He looked so comfortable and yet so uncomfortable sleeping in the sitting position. I turned off the TV and waited to see if that would wake him up. No change. I gently moved towards him and inched myself towards him to try doing what I did last night when he was sleeping. My lips started to quiver at the memory of the pleasure I got by kissing him without his knowledge. As if he felt my presence, his eyes suddenly opened, and I found myself being pulled into his arms as he came up to my mouth hungrily taking over my mouth with his. His lips were soft yet maintained the pressure, and his tongue was making modern art inside my mouth.
“Let’s go to my room,” I said against his lips and stood up to take his hand in mine. He smiled looking up at me and complied by slipping his hand into mine. He looked sleepy as I led him to my bedroom and closed the door after he stepped in. As he stood at the doorway wondering what I had in mind, I walked to the window and closed the blinds making the room completely dark.
“Nick,” I said from the other side of the room.
Nick laughed and said, “If you are trying to seduce me, you don’t need to do anything else. I am ready.”
I giggled and went back to where he was standing and put my arm around his neck and pressed my body against him. I felt his virility against my body almost instantaneously.
“I want to sleep in your arms,” I said looking at him in the darkness.
“Just sleep?” Nick asked taunting me.
“Yes,” I said putting my ear to his chest.
He kissed me on my forehead and said, “Sounds very appealing,” and moved towards my bed.
My bed was a full size unlike his humongous king bed in his room so we had to snuggle up, and that’s exactly what I wanted.
Nick took off his sweater and got in under the covers and before I got into bed, I took off my jeans and got in under the covers with him. I felt his warm body against my bare legs and as soon as he felt my bare legs, he smiled and said, “Definitely appealing.”
“Skinny jeans are not too comfy to sleep in, plus I want you to have something since you are letting me sleep in your arms.”
Nick laughed and said, “Ohh, this partial stuff doesn’t really work for me,” and ran his fingertips along my thigh.
“You want to do this?” I asked teasing him as I took his palm and ran it under my shirt leading him to my breast.
“This totally works,” he said as he slipped his fingers under my bra and started toying with my nipple. In no time, he was asleep as I expected. I lay in his arms with my ear to his chest as I listened to his heart play the symphony for me. His warm breath was fanning my hair. I knew at that point that I wanted to be in his arms, my entire life.
I barely knew anything about him, but I had a strong sense of how important he was in my life and it did not take me long to realize that. I knew how he was when he was a teenager and over a decade later, I was in his arms just after a few weeks of meeting him, feeling safe and happy. We had not been on a single date, and I didn’t know what he liked to eat or what he did for fun. On the contrary, he somehow knew what I liked and things I cared about most.
He was a very caring and patient lover last night and this morning in the shower, I showed him how much I wanted him. How could we have developed such longing for each other in just a few weeks? My heart ached when I saw him in pain, and my heart raced to the mountains at the slightest of the slightest smile on his face. Driving out thoughts of how crazy this all sounded, I thought about what Nate had said about me being in love. Nick was about to say something that morning in the shower that seemed like the L word, but I was not sure. As I muddled in my head questions about whether what I felt for him was love, the two questions that kept popping up were, if what I felt was love and if I really loved him.
“Yes, I love you, Nick,” I blurted out inadvertently unable to compartmentalize my thoughts and my speech and bit my lip realizing what I had said out loud. I held my breath hoping that my words didn’t wake him up. His steady breathing continued, and I let out a big sigh of relief. I was sure that I was mistaking the initial reactions as love. Nate seems to think it was love, but I was not convinced. I needed to be more than a hundred percent sure and the day I was, I knew I would not wait to express my love to him.
*****
A few hours later, Nick walked out of my bedroom running his hand through his hair, looking mysteriously at me as he came into the living room. I was sitting on the couch flipping through a book as he sat down next to me, putting his head in my lap, lying down along the length of the couch.
He put his arm around my neck and pulled me to touch his lips to mine. He said with his fuzzy voice as I sat up, “I thought you wanted to sleep in my arms?”
“Yes, I did,” I said cheerfully.
“So why were you not next to me when I woke up and how long did I sleep for?” he asked as he looked at the time on his phone.
“You were down for a few hours, Nick,” I said running my palm on his cheek and added, “I know you had a very disturbed sleep last night because of me.”
He looked up at me his eyes filled with tenderness as he said, his voice very husky, “You let
me get close to your heart, and I am okay with sleep deprivation as a side effect.”
My heart started palpitating from hearing him speak with such intensity.
“I would love to be here all day and all night but I need to go before Nethra kicks me out,” he said as he got up and sat up on the couch.
He reached out to cup my face in his palms and planted a tender kiss on my lips.
“I will see you later, sweetheart,” he said and stood up and stretched letting out a groan.
My breath got stuck half way through my windpipe as the groan sent tingling ripples of thrill through my body, and I wondered what it was that triggered such reactions in me. I stood up, hugged him tightly, and put my ear to his chest and said, “Please don’t go, Nick.”
“I don’t want to go either but...” His voice trailed off and as I looked up at him he added, “You also need to stop looking at me like that.”
“Okay. Will I see you tomorrow?” I asked still not letting him go.
“Yes. I will text you when and where,” said Nick as I released my grasp around his waist.
“Nick, my earrings and tikka!!” I said when I realized that I had left the jewelry I wore the night before in his closet.
“What about them?” he asked picking up his keys.
“They are in your closet,” I said standing at the door.
“I’d like to keep them for now,” he teased as he put his arm around me for another sweet kiss as the cold afternoon air swept over my face.
“I am going to keep your clothes then,” I teased back.
“Anything for you, sleep tight,” he said as he went down the stairs.
“Bye Nick,” I called out and he responded in a cool voice, “Bye babe.”
I giggled to myself like a schoolgirl to his cool response.
I spent a few hours after Nick left to catch up on the household stuff and to get ready for the week ahead. When I was done with the stuff I needed to do, I called Nate to check when she was coming home. Nate and Srini were out for a drive, and she said that they would be back later that afternoon. I hung up after talking to Nate and dialed my mom’s phone number. She answered just after one ring.
“Hi Mom,” I said into the phone beaming at her virtually.
“Hi Meera, how are you sweetie?” my mom asked affectionately.
“I am good Ma, just a little tired,” I said without thinking much.
“I am told you were out all night. Is that why you are tired?” my mom asked teasing me.
“Nate told you already? Great and I couldn’t say a thing about Srini until she told you guys but she can tell you everything,” I whined.
“Ohh so you were out with someone? Finally,” my mom said laughing, and I bit my lip when I realized that Nate hadn’t said anything about Nick. I knew Nate was going to love hearing about how I spilled the beans.
“Ma, I was out with an old friend from school,” I said trying very hard to sound casual.
“Ohh, How nice. Do I know your friend?” my mom asked curiously.
“Do you remember Nikhil? He was our neighbor’s nephew when we lived in Hyderabad,” I said hoping she wouldn’t remember.
“Oh, yes. How can I not remember Nikhil?” she said with excitement and added, “He was the most well behaved boy amongst your friends.”
“Wow, Ma. How do you remember him?” I asked surprisingly and added, “I had completely wiped him out of my mind until I saw him a few weeks ago.”
“Meera, are you serious?” my mom asked.
“What? I haven’t talked to many of my friends in years, Ma,” I said wondering what my mom meant.
“But Nikhil was your best friend. You seriously had no memory of Nikhil?” my mom asked surprised.
“I know, Ma. It is odd. I saw him one time on a bike and thought his eyes looked familiar, but I just could not connect them to Nikhil,” I confessed.
“Ohh wow, how come sweetie?” my mom asked affectionately.
“I don’t know Ma. I think I just blocked everybody and everything that existed when daddy was still with us,” I pondered.
“Do you remember that you had a serious crush on Nikhil when you were in ninth grade?” my mom asked dropping a bombshell on me.
“I, what?” I almost screamed into the phone.
I heard my mom laugh and relay the whole conversation to my stepdad in the background. I listened to their conversation and fumed about what my mom just said.
“Ma, please stop messing with me,” I barked when she got back on the line.
“Sweetie, I am not. I am serious,” my mom said sounding very serious and added, “I knew you had a crush on him from the day you started hanging out with him and you were too much of a tomboy to accept it.”
“Now you are being totally silly Mom,” I mocked.
“I am essentially a heart doctor Meera. I think I am more qualified to know what you felt back then,” my mom teased reinstating that she knew better as a cardiologist.
“Whatever Ma, you are being totally ridiculous,” I whined.
“Do you think your puppy love will be re-ignited to become eternal love?” my mom asked softly.
“No comment Ma because this conversation has gone from silly to silliest,” I teased her laughing.
“Is Nikhil cute?” my mom started again.
“Mom, I think we are done. I want to talk to dad,” I protested.
“He had such sharp features as a boy so I am just wondering,” my mom said and continued, “Here, talk to your dad.”
The sweet voice of my stepdad always put me at ease so I was really looking forward to talking to him.
“So, do you like him?” my stepdad asked as soon as he took the phone.
“Dad, now you are sounding like mom,” I teased and laughed and added, “I do like him because he is my friend.”
“As long as he is nice to you, Meera,” my stepdad said protectively.
“How are Nethra and Srini doing?” he asked affectionately.
“They are good dad. They are such a cute couple, just like you and mom,” I cheered.
“Thank you, Meera,” he said laughing.
“I think their relationship is getting very serious now. We should start prepping for a wedding,” I said with excitement.
“Wow, that is great news!” my stepdad said with excitement and added, “We can’t wait to meet him.”
“When are you guys planning to come? We need to plan for your trip,” I asked.
“I will confirm the dates this week Meera. Do we get to meet your friend, Nikhil?” my dad asked softly.
“Yes, Dad. I would like you to meet him and mom seems to be a die-hard fan of Nick so, most definitely,” I said smiling to myself.
I heard my mom in the background all excited about something, and I could tell she was dragging the phone from my stepdad.
“Your mom wants to talk to you. Bye Meera,” my stepdad said barely into the phone as my mom grabbed the phone from him.
“You have a new theory now Mom?” I asked mocking her.
“I have a question about your health sweetie?” she said.
“Huh, health?” I said into the phone.
“Yes, is your monthly cycle regular now? Are you taking the birth control pills?” she asked with a twist in her tone.
“Mom, I love you, this conversation is over. Bye,” I said and hung up and started laughing to myself.
My mom and I became good friends after moving to California. Nate was still in India finishing her college, and my mom was home for the first time in years. She and I spent a lot of time together while she prepped for her qualification exams to practice medicine in the United States. It wasn’t until then that I realized my mom was pretty cool.
My phone beeped as I hung up. Nick had sent me messages while I was on the phone with my parents.
Nick: I feel like coming back and bringing you here.
Nick: Sameera?
I smiled and responded.
Me: Sorry, I was on
the phone with my mom.
Nick: Hey there, no worries.
Me: You are welcome to stay at my place tonight ;)
Nick: I am scared of Nethra
Me: hahaha
Nick: What time do you get off from work tomorrow?
Me: In training till 5. How about you?
Nick: I am good after four, for now.
Me: What do you want to do?
Nick: Sleepover?
Me: Nope
Nick: C’mon
Me: training week at work
Nick: OK. I want to take you out to dinner and then I will take you home.
Me: Sounds good.
Me: our first date tomorrow unless Nate and Srini are going to crash
Nick: It’s just us.
Nick: Heading out to dinner with my folks. C u tomorrow.
Me: Bye..
Nick: Bye, babe
I smiled and put my phone away. I just couldn’t wait to see him. I prayed and hoped that it was not the beginning of another disaster in my life.
Chapter Ten
Monday morning blues combined with my entire longing for Nick made that morning a very difficult one. I kept reminding myself that I would see Nick later that day, but just the thought of waiting all day to be in his arms was tormenting me. My mom’s statement about me having a crush on Nick when I was a teenager kept haunting my thoughts. Does that have anything to do with the way I felt about him? I still felt a little rushed with how things were going. The internal conflict resolution between my heart, mind, and body was going to be a challenge. With that thought, I opened my closet and reached for Nick’s sweater that I wore yesterday and smiled as I took in the sweet masculine smell that lingered on the fabric. The smell filled my eyes with sparkle and my heart with warmth. This is too much drama for my pragmatic side, but I wondered if that was something that I needed to deal with going forward. I stepped out of my bedroom to get some coffee before I showered.
Nate was sitting at the dining table hugging her coffee mug with an expression that resonated my feeling inside. I walked up to the table, gently put my arms around her shoulders, and planted a kiss on her forehead.