by P. G. Van
“Is that a bad thing?” Nick asked in a confused state.
“I don’t know, Nick,” I said in a calm voice and added, “All I know is that I am not there for them when they need me most.”
Nick looked at me in silence. “Nick, this is a couple that lost their son in a fatal accident and are relying on extended family to help them out,” I said looking into his eyes and added, “I need to be the one to help them.”
Nick shook his head and looked away as if he knew what I was going to say next.
“Nick, I want to go to India to take care of my grandparents and help them settle down in the ancestral home in the village,” I said softly.
“Sameera...” Nick’s voice trailed off as he held me in his arms.
“I know, Nick. Every time I think I have happiness in my life something has to happen,” I growled and added looking at him with my palms on his cheeks, “It’s killing me to even think about not being with you, but I have to do this.”
Nick closed his eyes and took a deep breath and when he finally opened his eyes and looked at me, I felt my heart freeze and turn brittle ready to crack. I felt the piercing pain of my cracking heart when I saw him look at me with sadness looming in his eyes.
“Nick,” I said holding him tightly and added, “I cannot bear to see pain in your eyes.”
“Sameera, why do you need to do it if it pains you this much?” Nick asked comforting me.
“Because it pains me if I don’t go. I will make your life a living hell if I am feeling guilty about not being there with them,” I said in a shaky voice.
“I will take that in a heartbeat over not having you at all,” Nick said in a raspy voice.
“Just when I think my life can’t be more perfect, something has to happen,” I said frustrated remembering everything that went wrong every other time in the past.
“Sameera, whatever happened in the past in some way or the other is the reason why we are together. I believe that everything happens for a reason and most of the time, it is for a good reason,” Nick said his voice firm and in command.
“I don’t see any good in the situation we are in. It’s hard for me to go, but at the same time not to go either,” I said, as I felt anger build up in me about the entire the situation.
“Can we sleep on it and talk about it first thing in the morning? I will clear out my calendar if we need to stay home,” Nick said in a calm voice.
I nodded in agreement and got up to get into bed.
“Sleep tight, Sameera,” Nick said planting a kiss on my forehead and put his arms around me as sleep crept up over my tired and spent mind and body with Nick’s heart pounding in my ear.
My eyes flew open, and I felt my heart beat as soon as I resurfaced from my sleep. The room was dark, and I felt Nick’s warm body next to me. His breathing was soft and steady. I took a deep breath wondering what woke me up. A few seconds later, it all came back to me. I saw a flash of the seventeen-year-old Nick talking to the fourteen-year-old Sameera.
“Be good, Sameera and don't forget me. I will be your friend forever," Nick said smiling at me as he walked away from me.
I took a deep breath putting my arm around Nick and snuggled up against him. I repeated the last thing I heard in my dream and smiled. He promised me that he would never walk out of my life and if I had Nick in my life, I knew I could take on anything. My only concern at that point was the sadness I would cause him by going to India.
I woke up the next morning to Nick's distant voice as he spoke in a steady tone. I looked around the bedroom and realized that Nick was in the guest bedroom. I checked the time, and it was barely half past six in the morning. The things that hit me first were my thoughts from the middle of the night and the anxiety of being away from Nick. I got out of bed with a heavy heart as my determination to go to India had gotten stronger overnight. I needed to figure out how I was going to leave Nick to go to India. I walked slowly towards the guest bedroom, the door being slightly ajar, and I could hear Nick talking on the phone.
"The option here is to reschedule. If I need to send out a personal note apologizing, I will, but please move the meeting," Nick said in a firm voice.
I opened the door gently and peered inside. Nick was at his desk with his back to me. He was listening to the person on the phone and was looking intently at his computer screen. I figured that he intended to stay home today so I left the guest bedroom to find my phone. I pulled up my phone sending a note to my team informing them that I would not be in the office today and apologized for the last minute note.
I placed my phone back on the side table and went back into the guest bedroom. I could no longer hear Nick speak on the phone. I opened the bedroom door and barely took a few steps before Nick started speaking again.
"Hey, good morning. So sorry to call you this early," Nick said on the phone and added, "My schedule today is unpredictable, and I got most of my conference calls rescheduled, but I need you to cover the two meetings this afternoon for me."
"I don't know if everything is okay, but I will find out soon," Nick said and paused for a few seconds and said, "Yes, she is okay."
I guessed that he was talking to Srini, and I was sure that this would cause some alarm. I knew I would get a call from Nate any minute. Nick hung up, and I stood frozen as I debated if I should approach him or leave him to finish his work. As if Nick felt my presence, he turned suddenly and looked at me his expression tense and rigid. He looked into my eyes, and I felt my lips curve upwards automatically forming a smile. I saw the stress on his face shatter as he took a deep breath and smiled back at me.
"Good morning, Sameera," he said getting up and walking towards me. I stood rooted to the spot as he put his arms around me and brought his lips to mine.
"What’s wrong, sweetheart?" he asked against my lips his voice soft and loving. Unable to bear the pain of being torn from more than one direction, I put my arms around him and clung to him. I felt my body go cold and quiver against his steady warm body. Nick comforted me in silence. When I finally spoke, my voice was barely audible, but I managed to say, "Nick, I love you."
Nick planted a kiss on my forehead looking into my eyes and asked, “Are you ready to talk about the plan?” he added stroking my back when I did not say anything. “Even if you think it is going to upset me, you need to talk to me. It hurts real bad to see you like this."
“Nick, I don’t want to leave you and go to India,” I said digging my fingers into his upper back and added, “but I need to go.”
“I know, Sameera,” Nick said rocking me in his arms and added, “It is a tough decision, and it is your decision to make.”
I nodded against his chest in agreement with my face buried in the soft fabric of his t-shirt.
“I know it is going to be tough either way, but I will stand by your decision,” Nick stated.
“Please tell me not to go and I won’t go,” I begged Nick.
Nick laughed and said, “I wish it were that simple, Sameera.” He placed his palms around my face making me look into his eyes and said, “I know you will be miserable if you don’t go. I have spent almost a year without you, and it pains me to think of letting you go, but I am willing to do this for you.”
I took a deep breath and pulled away to look at him and asked, “Why?”
Nick looked into my eyes with his eyes dancing at me and smiled. I reached up on my toes to reach for his lips with mine. As Nick pulled me up slightly, I felt the eagerness in his lips as his tongue teased and probed my mouth. I felt the floating affect intensified by the way Nick held me and the way he made me feel.
“Is that your phone?” Nick asked against my lips, and it was then that I heard my phone ringing in the other room.
Nick released me and I said smiling, “I am pretty sure it is Nate. I need to go get it before she starts to freak out.” Nick followed me as I ran back into the bedroom and reached for my phone.
“Nate, good morning,” I said almost out of breath.
>
“Meera, I am sorry, did I interrupt something?” Nate asked sounding embarrassed.
“Nate, stop it,” I said turning crimson as Nick came and sat down next to me on the bed.
“Meera, Is everything okay?” Nate asked, her voice flustered and added, “Nick called Srini this morning and said he was not available today.”
“Yes and no, Nate,” I said sounding mysterious.
“Srini is getting ready to come to San Francisco in a few hours, and I have asked him to take me with him. Can you meet me for lunch?” she asked sounding concerned.
“Nate, I can meet you for lunch, but you don’t need to come,” I said comforting her and asked, “Don’t you need to go to work?”
“I took an emergency personal day, and I am coming to see you,” Nate declared.
“I have also decided to stay home today so you and Srini can come home for lunch.” I said to Nate smiling at Nick.
“Meera, what is going on?” Nate asked unable to bear the suspense for another few hours.
“I am planning to go to India to take care of Nani and Thatha,” I said to Nate, and I heard Nate’s voice before I was even done with my statement. “You are what?” she said in disbelief.
“Yes, Nate. I need to go for my own sake,” I said my voice starting to tremble.
“Meera, what about Nick? Is he okay with this decision?” Nate asked freaking out.
“Yes and no,” I said softly looking at Nick.
“You two have completely lost it. Please tell Nick that I need to talk to him also when I come,” she demanded sounding angry.
“Okay. We will see you soon,” I said and ended the call.
“How is my information goddess taking this?” Nick asked smiling partly.
“She is very upset and wants to speak to both of us when she is here,” I said to Nick.
“I think I should consider attending that meeting with Srini this afternoon?” Nick said smiling putting his arms around me.
*****
Srini and Nate arrived around eleven that morning, and Nate came storming into the master bedroom as I was getting ready in my closet. Nick was getting ready in his closet and had barely buttoned his shirt when Nate showed up in the closet and asked Nick in an angry voice, “Where is she, Nick?”
Nick looked at her in surprise and said, “She is in her closet.”
I stepped out of my closet and smiled at Nate from the entrance.
“Don’t give me that smile, Meera,” Nate mocked and added, “It does not matter if Nick is okay with you going. I don’t want you to go.”
“Nate, relax. Where is Srini?” I asked trying to calm her down. “Let’s go downstairs so Nick can finish getting dressed.”
“Nick, I am sorry to barge into your closet, but please don’t mind me. My little sister is important to me,” Nate said to Nick, still very upset.
“Okay, Nate. Let’s go sit on the chaise over there. Nick, could you please check on Srini?” I said in a steady voice.
Nick went downstairs to check on Srini. I took a deep breath looking at Nate and said in a firm tone, “Nate, listen to me. Nani and Thatha lost their only child, the love of their lives and were able to survive because they had each other. Now Thatha needs to regain the confidence that everything will go back to normal, and they need someone from their immediate family to help rebuild that. In all honesty, it could be either of us, but I am the one who should go because you need to be here with Srini.”
Nate looked at me with tears running down her cheeks and asked, “You barely spent any time with Nick. He does not deserve this, Meera. How can you leave Nick and go?”
“I love her enough to let her go, Nethra,” Nick said from the bedroom entrance before I could respond to her.
Nate and I turned to look at Nick walking towards us with his hands in his pockets.
“Nick, you are taking this very well. You two don’t realize what you are doing?” Nate warned.
Nick walked over putting his hand on my shoulder and said, “The woman I fell in love with is a selfless person and is capable of putting someone else’s need before hers. If I did not stop her from performing for my mom knowing that it might hurt her, I have no right to stop her from going to India to take care of her grandparents. I am willing to endure any amount of pain for her and will wait for her forever.”
Nick looked at me with the purest form of love in his eyes, and I smiled at him as my heart melted to what he said. Nate wiped away the moisture on her cheeks and stood up to give Nick a hug. She sobbed on his shoulder while Nick and I tried to comfort her.
“Nick, you are absolutely right, but Meera is going to be miserable. She loves you too much,” Nate said sobbing.
“Nethra, look at me,” Nick said firmly, and she wiped the tears from her cheeks and looked and Nick and me.
“I am blessed to be loved my Sameera, and if I don’t let her be the person she is, I am going to lose her,” Nick said putting an arm around me. Nate put her arms around me and said with pride, “Meera, I am so proud of what you did in the past and what you are about to do.”
“Thanks Nate,” I said hugging her.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
After hours of discussions and days of planning, I was finally ready to take the plane to India. Nate completely supported my decision after our talk earlier that week. From the day I told Nick about my plan, he stood behind me supporting my decision. Every time I looked at him, I could see the pain in his eyes but also saw pride. When I asked him why he was looking at me that way, he smiled and said, “I am proud to be with someone who is so compassionate and caring.”
Nick laid out his terms and conditions from start to finish for my travel and my stay in India. My plan was to stay for six to eight weeks or return as soon my grandpa is back to being himself. Nick, Nate, and Srini would join me in a month for the wedding and most likely, I would return with them after the wedding. Nick insisted that he take care of my travel booking as he had a ton of miles that he is yet to use. He also got me a global phone that did not need me to switch to a local carrier when I reached India.
“Nick, I won’t be able to board the plane if you go to the airport with me,” I said to him, making a sad face on the day of my travel.
“Okay. I will have Mitch drive you and accompany you to the security gate,” Nick said, his voice soft and steady.
Nick and I were in the living area when the elevator doors opened, and Mitch walked in.
“Ready to go Ms. Nick?” Mitch asked, his voice lacking life.
“Yes, Mitch. I need to grab something from upstairs. How about I meet you downstairs in five minutes?” I said smiling at him.
“Absolutely,” Mitch said taking my bags downstairs.
When Mitch exited, I turned around and looked at Nick who was standing behind me with his hands in his pocket. I walked towards him and he spread his arms out for me, and the last few steps were a leap into his arms. His lips found mine in no time, and for the first time ever, he kissed me barely touching me.
“Sameera, stop me please or I will not let you go,” Nick whispered pulling his lips away from me.
I put my arms around him resting my cheek on his chest and said, “I don’t know what I am going to do without you.”
“Remind yourself why you are there, Sameera,” Nick said softly and added, “I want you to be able to take care of your grandparents without being upset.”
“I will, and will I see you every day?” I asked looking at him.
“Yes, my love. We will talk and see each other at least once a day, I promise,” Nick said smiling.
“Nick…” My voice trailed off as my lip started to tremble. “Please promise me that you will not take the next flight to India. I need you to stay here. You will see me in four weeks when you come to India.”
“Oh, please don’t remind me that I won’t be able to do this for four weeks,” Nick said running his fingers through my hair, all the way down my waist.
“Also,
please don’t ride your bike. It’s very scary to even think about it,” I said.
Nick laughed and said, “Okay. You are starting to sound like my mom now.”
I smiled and said, “I will miss you terribly, Nick.”
“Me too, sweetheart,” Nick said dropping kisses on my cheek and down my neck and whispered, “I can’t wait for you to be back.”
“We should go before Mitch thinks I changed my mind,” I said to Nick giggling.
“You know he is hoping you would,” Nick teased and added, “I had to give him special instructions about making sure you reach the airport on time.”
“Stay here, please don’t come downstairs,” I pleaded to Nick.
Nick put his arms around me kissing me on my forehead and said, “Be safe and tell all those eligible bachelors in India that you are not available.”
I laughed, tears welling in my eyes as I walked into the elevator. Nick was the sole reason for me to step into the elevator as I left to India. I would not have been able to go if he had in any way indicated that he did not want me to go. The elevator doors closed as I blew him a kiss and his beautiful face lit up and smiled at me.
A few minutes into the drive to the airport, the global phone that Nick got me was ringing, and it was a video call.
“Ohh look. You have not changed at all from the last time I saw you,” Nick teased as I looked at him on the phone.
“Nick, really?” I mocked and he smiled and said, “I need to make sure it works.”
“Nick, take care of Nate for me. She is going to be extremely stressed about the wedding,” I said to Nick.
“I got it, baby,” Nick said smiling at me.
“For the record, Nate is pissed that you are letting me go to India,” I said warning him.
“I know. I’ll talk to her,” Nick said smiling and asked, “When is Dr. Naidu back in the states?”
“It’s odd when you call my dad like that,” I said and added smiling, “They leave the day after I reach India. You do the arrival math.”