by P. G. Van
“Do what?” Nick asked with a confused expression on his face.
“Nick, this is wrong. We are about to get married without your parents and your family here,” I said as I took in a deep breath of air.
Nick smiled and said casually, “Don’t worry. Look at that camera and wave. Everyone back home is watching a live streaming of the wedding.”
“Nick, please. Let’s get married when we have everyone. It is not fair to your parents,” I said my voice shaking and looked around the stage to find my mom or my stepdad. I made eye contact with my stepdad, and he was by my side in seconds.
“Meera, what is the matter?” my stepdad asked when he saw the pain in my face.
“Dad, Nick’s mom and dad are not here. Nick and I should get married when they are here,” I said my voice trembling.
“Meera, I understand what you are saying but this is not the right thing to do now. We have started the wedding rituals, and it will be considered a bad omen for you and for your sister’s marriage if we stop,” my stepdad said in a firm voice.
My stepdad look at me with disappointment in his eyes. I realized that it was my fault that I fell for the excitement of getting married to the man I loved without thinking through everything.
*****
“Meera, why are you sulking and not changing for the reception?” Nate asked I sat deep in thought after the wedding ceremony. I kept looking at the yellow thread necklace that Nick tied around my neck as part of the wedding ritual.
“Nate, Nick and I should not have gotten married tonight,” I said softly.
“Meera, why are you saying that?” Nate gasped.
“There was no one from Nick’s family that attended the wedding,” I said looking at her and added shaking my head, “I should have thought about everything before I made the announcement on the mehendi night.”
My mom and stepdad came into the bridal suite looking worried.
“Meera, what is the matter baby?” my mom asked concerned.
I ignored my mom’s question and said to my stepdad, “Daddy, I don’t want to go to the hotel tonight. I want to go home.”
“Meera?” my mom asked annoyed at my statement and asked, “Is everything okay between Nick and you?”
“Ma, please. I don’t want to talk about it. I will change in a few minutes and will show up at the reception, but there are a few things I need to sort out for myself,” I said in a firm voice.
“Nethra, talk to her,” my mom said shaking her head and added, “She was fine all through the ceremony, and I don’t know what happened after she and Nick talked.”
“Ma, Meera is mature enough to know how to deal with her stuff,” Nate defended and added, “You guys should go so we can change.”
My mom and stepdad left clearly annoyed with us.
“Thanks, Nate,” I said softly.
“Meera, I don’t know what you are dealing with right now, but I know you will ask me if you need help or advice so I am not going to pester you for details,” Nate declared.
“Yes, Nate. This is something I need to figure out for myself,” I said fighting back tears.
Chapter Seven
It was one o’clock in the morning when Nick and I arrived at home after the event. I told my mom and stepdad that I wished to go back home instead of going to the hotel suite. My mom insisted that we go to the hotel, but I told her that I preferred going back home and she did not push further. My stepdad did not question my decision, and arranged for my grandparents and them to stay at the hotel. Ann decided to stay at the hotel she had already reserved.
Nick thanked the driver who dropped us off at home and followed me to the main door with the bag of clothes we had packed to take to the hotel that night. He stood patiently looking at me as I struggled with the multistep lock and key system on the heavy front door.
“May I?” he asked very cautiously, and I ignored him and continued to struggle with the lock on the door. After a few futile attempts, I looked at him and gave him the keys without saying anything. He probably realized that I was in no state of mind to handle a joke, so he quietly took the keys and opened the door in one go. He held the door open for me and said, “After you.”
“Thanks Nick. You can use Nate’s room to change. I would like to talk to you in ten minutes,” I said in a stern but calm tone.
Nick looked at me in surprise and said, “I don’t need to change. Let me know when you are ready to talk.”
“Okay, I will be in my room. Please give me ten minutes,” I said anger brewing in my voice.
Nick handed me my bag of clothes and sat down on the couch in the living room. I went upstairs to my room letting the bag drop to the floor and collapsed on the bed.
My body was shivering with anger, fear, guilt, and sadness. As tears rolled down my cheeks, I tried to sort out my emotions and worked on identifying why I was having an overdose of emotions.
As I wondered why I was angry, I realized that I was angry with the man I loved and cared about most. I was angry with myself for rushing into the ceremony without thinking about the consequences.
I felt guilty about depriving a loving mother and a caring father the joy of attending their son’s wedding. I wondered why I was feeling guilty about it when Nick and Ann were totally fine with them not being around.
My body started to tremble when I realized that the strongest emotion was fear. I thought of all the things that could possibly go wrong between Nick and me because of getting married without his parents. A fear that was born out of knowing what had happened with people who got married without their parents.
“Sameera,” I heard Nick right outside my bedroom door.
I sat up on the bed, and wiped the moisture on my cheeks and unlocked the bedroom door. He stood outside the door in the traditional clothes looking majestic in the ivory and golden colored silk Indian outfit.
“You need to stop treating me like the enemy and tell me what is going on,” he said in a firm voice as he stepped into the bedroom and shut the door behind him.
I looked down at my feet without responding for a few seconds just so I had every sentence rehearsed and didn’t say something that would make things worse. “I am very angry with you Nick. You have failed as a son, and I have failed as a daughter-in-law.”
“What are you talking about Sameera?” he asked, his voice burning with anger.
“I am talking about the fact that we got married without your parents, and every couple I know that got married without the presence of their parents lost everything,” I said in a stern voice looking into his penetrating eyes.
He took a deep breath as if he was calming himself down and said in a soft tone, “Sameera, please sit down.”
I complied and sat on the bed with my back against the headboard and drew my knees into my chest hugging my legs. Nick sat across from me just a foot away.
“You need to let go of the thought that something is going to go wrong with us. We are married now and have each other to take on any challenge,” Nick said softly, looking at me.
“Nick, I love you but I am angry with you and angry at myself,” I said softly.
Nick smiled and said, “I blocked out everything you said after I love you,” and asked when my expression did not change, “Why are you angry with me?”
“When I told you that we should wait to get married, you kept pushing me, and tonight when I needed your support to convince my parents as to why it was a bad idea to go ahead with the ceremony, you, of all people, did not even attempt to understand my sentiments and emotions,” I said fuming at him.
“Fair enough,” Nick said in a calm voice and asked, “What should I have done? Agreed to not get married and embarrass your entire family in front of all the family and friends?”
I listened quietly as he continued to speak in the same calm tone, “If your reasons for waiting or not going ahead with the marriage were reasonable, I would not have let your parents make the arrangements in the first place. The only r
eason I did not support you was because I really did not see any reason for us to not be together,” he paused to look at me and reached out to place his palm on my feet. I immediately withdrew my feet now adorned with the toe rings that he slipped on my second toe on both feet during the ceremony.
“Please don’t be mad at me, sweetheart. I am still the guy who is crazy about you and will love you forever. You need to let go of the silliness and get ready to start our new life together officially,” Nick said smiling at me.
“I may sound silly, Nick,” I said with my voice shaky and added, “It’s not right start our life together until we get married in the presence of both our parents, and I want the traditional Rajput wedding you promised me and until then, you will be a husband without a wife.”
Nick burst out laughing annoying me with the mockery in his laughter.
“Nick, stop it,” I said in a stern voice and added, “I am dead serious about this.”
Nick looked at me in silence for a minute and asked, “What does that mean to our relationship?”
“We will be husband and wife in the eyes of our family and friends, but you and I will be a married couple only after we have the wedding with both our parents around to bless us,” I said glaring at him.
“That’s not hard, we can get married right after we go back home,” Nick said smiling at me.
“Nick, you keep forgetting that you have an older brother that is yet to get married, and we can get married only after he does,” I declared.
“This is ridiculous,” Nick said throwing his hands up in the air in frustration and asked, “Is there an end to this nonsense?”
I looked at him with surprise and utter silence, as I had never seen him react to anything in the few months that I have been with him.
As if in reaction to the expression on my face, he took a deep breath and said in a soft voice, “I feel like you are trying to solve a non-existent problem. You wanted to wait to get married so you could perform a ceremony to lift a so-called curse that I refuse to believe in, and now we are married as per the traditions that you believe in and I still don’t have a wife.”
“The curse…,” my voice trailed off, as I felt a pang of fear inside me.
Nick took a deep breath shaking his head and said, “A modern woman with an advanced degree and working in technology believes in a curse. Just unbelievable!!”
“Nick, I want to go back to California as soon as possible. Can we leave tomorrow?” I asked softly.
“Why are you in a hurry to leave?” Nick asked in surprise.
Tears welled in my eyes as the image of Nick’s loving mom flashed in front of me. No mother should be deprived of the happiness she gets when her child gets married.
“I want to see your mom and dad,” I said feeling my heart weighed down by my own guilt.
“It’s like you are speaking Greek and Latin to me,” Nick said sounding annoyed.
“Nick, please,” I said softly as he continued to look at me.
“Nick, I love you. Never ever second guess how much I love you,” I said in a shaky voice.
Nick looked at me and said softly, “Sameera, please get a hold of yourself. We got married a few hours ago, and this is not how I intended to spend our wedding night.”
I put my arms around him and said, “I know. I am such an emotional wreck now that I can’t even think about it.”
“I am in no hurry for a wedding night, I just want you to stop overthinking everything,” Nick said smiling at me and asked, “Can I help you out of the sari and into something more comfortable?”
I nodded unable to find my voice. Nick put his arms around me and whispered, “So what is the significance of the three knots and why did I tie a yellow thread instead of putting a black beads necklace around your neck?”
“The black beads necklace is a north Indian tradition and you will need to do that also, but the three knots represent the love for the husband, respect for the new parents the girl gets as a result of the marriage, and the third is in prayer to the almighty asking for our togetherness forever. The thread is yellow because it has been doused in turmeric paste and is considered the purest form of bringing a man and woman together in holy matrimony,” I said as I felt his breath on the nape of my neck.
“Fascinating,” he said, and I felt him reach for the hooks on my blouse to help me out of the outfit and I twitched internally to his touch.
“Nick, you need to get the safety pins out to take the sari off before I can take off the blouse,” I said in a plain voice showing no emotion or any reaction to his touch.
Nick took his time to find the dozen safety pins clipped on to keep the sari secure. He helped me with the jewelry, and I put them away safely.
“This jewelry is beautiful but it sure is heavy,” Nick observed and looked at the marks the necklace had left on the delicate skin of my neck. Smiling at me, he said, “I should be the only one to paint your neck red.” He took his crisp lips to my neck taking me by surprise and ran his tongue along the base of my neck.
“Why don’t you change so we can go to sleep? I don’t know how much longer I will hold up before I collapse,” I said pulling back and looking up into his eyes.
“I will be right back. Why don’t you go get ready for bed?” Nick said, as he went downstairs to bring his bag.
A few minutes later, I was in the bathroom washing off the moderately heavy makeup when Nick knocked on the door.
“Nick, the door is open,” I said, as I washed my face with my eyes closed. I heard Nick open the bathroom door gently and step inside. I wiped the excess moisture from my eyes and looked at him as he stood at the bathroom entrance smiling.
“Before you sleep, I want you to talk to me about what it is that you are scared of. What is it that makes you think that something bad will happen because of the way we got married today?” Nick asked taking me by surprise. I was happy that he paid attention to what I told him even when he was pissed off at me earlier that night.
“How did you…” my voice trailed off as he took a few steps towards me and put his arms around me.
“I think I know you well enough to know what is really bothering you. You are more scared about something than feeling guilty or angry,” he said with confidence in his voice.
He took my hand in his and took me back into the bedroom. Nick sat at the foot of the bed and waited for me to settle into a comfortable position.
He looked at me with his deep eyes as I gathered the strength to speak about my fears and the real reasons as to why I wanted to stop the wedding rituals earlier that night.
“Nick, how much do you know about Jasleen Kaur and RajaRam Vaasi?” I asked as it was one topic that I had not discussed with Nick or anyone.
“All I know is that Jasleen is a Bhatia girl, and she got married to RajaRam Vaasi and RajaRam is your granddad’s grandfather,” Nick said in a soft voice. He then added, “I also know that the Rajput family, I mean our family, has been looking for RajaRam’s and Jasleen’s descendants for decades in hopes of lifting the curse they believe may have been cast by Jasleen in her anger towards her own family when RajaRam disappeared on a business trip to the Rajput’s area.”
“Jasleen Kaur Bhatia is your grandfather’s great aunt. The girl was born into the family after two generations of not having a girl child born into the family. She was also the only girl for the entire generation. When she expressed her love for RajaRam, her brother was the one to object even though her parents were happy with her decision. RajaRam and Jasleen eloped and started their new life away from both their families. They had a boy and a girl and when their kids were teenagers, RajaRam went on a business trip and never came back,” I paused to look at Nick looking at me wondering where I was going with this story.
“And,” Nick prompted me to keep going.
“Jasleen was heartbroken when he did not return. She was so sure that her brother had something to do with RajaRam’s disappearance so she moved her family to a remote vil
lage so they could not be found. She passed away a few years later of a broken heart leaving the kids to fend for themselves,” I said, as a shiver ran through my spine.
“How is this related to us other than the fact that two people from our families got married many years ago?” Nick asked in a confused tone.
“It’s not, but I just can’t let go of the fact that something similar may happen to us,” I said in a frustrated voice.
“I need you to tell me clearly what you fear,” Nick said maintaining a cool voice.
“Jasleen and RajaRam lost each other because they caused immense pain to their parents with their actions. No parent deserves to be left to face the kind of sadness and embarrassment that Jasleen and RajaRam put them through when they ran away and got married. Jasleen’s father passed away a few months later with the sadness,” I said fighting back tears thinking of what Jasleen had to go through when RajaRam disappeared.
“I know what they put their parents through, but just because it happened a certain way with one couple doesn’t mean it is going to happen again, and we did not really embarrass my parents with our actions,” Nick said innocently.
“Yes, but the sadness of not being there in person for their son’s wedding is equally bad,” I said in a firm voice and added, “My grandparents did the same thing a few generations later, and they lost their only child, the love of their life and my dear father.”
Nick put his arms around me as I burst out crying comforting me and said, “I can understand why you are scared, and I will do what it takes to take your fears away.”
Chapter Eight
Nick and I sat on the bed with our arms wrapped around each other, and I said after a long silence, “I wish we could have talked during the ceremony. I would have felt much better.”
Nick laughed and said, “I know. I could have done better than leave you to deal with your emotions.”
I looked up at him planting a gentle kiss on his cheek and said, “I am sorry I am putting you through this, but I cannot be at peace until we get Sam married and then we get married.”