by K. A Knight
He pulls out of me and we both groan. I flop onto the bed and he follows me down, lying side by side as we stare at each other. He throws his leg over mine and pulls me to him, until I’m cuddled against his chest, as both of us relearn how to breathe.
“Fucking hell,” I mutter and he laughs.
“Pretty much,” he replies, kissing the top of my head.
Then I groan for another reason as my brain starts to flick back online. “We didn’t use a condom.” Fucking hell, Gabby.
He sucks in a breath. “Shit, I’m sorry babe—” I cut him off. Lifting my head, I put my finger to his lips.
“It’s not just your job to think of that, I guess we were both a little out of control. I’ve got the implant but…”
His face drops and he looks at me sadly. “I’m clean, I haven’t been with anyone since...” He sucks in a breath and looks away from me.
“Since?” I ask, turning his face back to me until I see the pain and grief swirling there, the mix so strong and familiar that it calls to mine. Only one thing puts that look into someone’s eyes.
“You lost someone?” I question softly and he nods.
I cup his cheek as he closes his eyes. “My fiancé, we were together four years. I had just asked her to marry me. She…”
“You don’t have to tell me,” I reply softly when he doesn’t carry on.
He lifts his hand and pulls me closer, like he can’t bear not to touch me. “I do, it was three years ago now. I guess I’d stopped thinking about it. I’ve moved on, but not from that part. I’ve never thought of being with anyone else until you walked into my life.”
“What was her name?” I ask, curious.
“Emma. She was a few years younger than me, we met through friends and clicked straight away.” He kisses my hand and leans into it. “She was killed in a plane crash, she travelled for work. The plane went down over the Atlantic. Took two weeks, two fucking agonising weeks until they found her.”
“Oh, baby.” I cover his face, offering him what comfort I can.
“You know what the worst part is? The guilt. I loved her, I really did, but it seemed like all we were doing was spending time apart. I barely saw her for the last year of our relationship. I thought proposing would change something, and it did for a month or two. Then we were back to normal, both of us pulling away from each other... I just couldn’t find the balls to walk away.”
I kiss his chest, his face, his hand. Everything to let him know I’m here for him.
“I had planned to confront her next time she was home, to tell her I didn't think we should get married anymore. I never told anyone and when they heard the news of her death, they pitied me so much. The outpouring of love and support only made me feel more like shit. I was going to leave her, they thought I was the perfect partner. That I had just lost the love of my life. When it came out afterwards that she had been cheating on me for over a year, I wasn't even surprised, except it only seemed to make everyone else want to be there for me more, but I was just relieved. Maybe she found someone else, someone she fully loved? Maybe she found her other half, the one you’re supposed to be with, and I was just standing in the way? Because she was too nice to hurt me. It made me hate myself. I went into a deep depression, I had met the guys before then, but when I was at my lowest, they were there with a lifeline.”
He draws in a breath and I kiss his chin. “Dancing?” I guess.
“Yeah, not stripping. Just dancing. I lost myself in it. I stopped drinking and doing drugs. I let myself just pour everything out into the music and my body. It helped and I started to put myself back together again. It took a year until I forgave myself. Until I could think clearly about it. Everyone had moved on at that point, only caring when it was her birthday or the anniversary of her death. Does it make me a bad person that I’m grateful they forgot? I don't know... Gabby. I loved her but I wasn't in love with her anymore, but anyway. Yeah, I haven’t been with anyone since then. I didn’t want to bring anyone into my shit. I got tested after I found out about her cheating, so I’m clean.”
I look into his eyes, letting him see everything I can’t say. “Damon, I am so fucking sorry. No, you aren’t a bad person, you were just in a shitty situation. I’m here if you ever need to talk about it. I know how it feels to lose someone.”
“Your brother?” he asks, resting his forehead on mine.
“Yeah, Blake told you?” I guess, not as pissed as I should be because it means I don’t have to relive it and tell them all separately.
“Yeah, you’re not mad?” He kisses me gently.
“No, I’m not.” I lean into his touch as we hold each other.
A knock comes at the door to the suite and I grin at him. “Foods here, come on, I’m hungry after that.”
I slip from his arms and crawl from the bed, laughing when he smacks my ass. I grab his shirt on the way out and pull it on, uncaring that I’m naked underneath. I do pull my hair back and try and flatten it a little. Time to face the strippers.
After I demolish my burger and fries, I leave the guys to gaming and slip into my bikini and into the steam room. I groan as I sit back, my muscles relaxing. Laying back, I grin at the sore feeling between my thighs. I was so worried the guys were going to act weird knowing about me and Damon, but they didn’t even mention it. There were a few knowing looks and Liam clapped him on the back, but nothing else. I’m betting they are talking about it now, but the thought doesn’t bug me. I know they share everything, they are that close. The fact that Damon thinks it's inevitable I’ll have the others speaks volumes. I can’t say I’m not worried about how it will affect our work life, this is a new step and it might bleed into that, but I can’t keep stressing about it. It’s done, I might as well go down in flames, right?
I relax in the steam room for at least thirty minutes before getting out and getting showered. After towelling off and tying back my short hair, I slip into some shorts and tank top pj’s, and head to my bedroom. I can hear them still in the living room but I’m knackered.
Slipping between the soft sheets I groan, snuggling down I’m fast asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow. I feel two people join me later on, but sleep sucks me back down before I can see who they are.
I groan with pleasure as I take another bite of the delicious flaky pastry. I close my eyes as I savour the intense buttery taste, my tongue darting out to capture any bits I may have missed.
“Um. Gabby, you okay there?” Liam’s voice causes my eyes to open, and I take in the amused and shocked expressions aimed in my direction. Thankfully, we are the only people in the restaurant enjoying breakfast this morning. Damon leans forward from his seat next to me, bringing his lips to my ear.
“I have some better ideas of what we can do to make those noises come from your dirty little mouth.” His voice is low, but I can hear the desire in his words, bringing back memories from last night. I nearly choke on my croissant, a small blush flushing across my cheeks at his words.
“Whatcha thinking about, Angel?” Liam chimes in again with a grin, sharing a knowing look with the guys at the table. I shove the rest of the pastry into my mouth while I narrow my eyes at them, bloody men.
Pushing away from the table with as much dignity as I can muster with my mouth full of breakfast, I make my way back to our suite. I hear them chuckling behind me, so I flip them off as I walk away, their laughter following me, causing me to smile.
The room is just how we left it. The guys’ rehearsal bags are lined up by the door, ready for them to grab before we head over to the venue to practice before tonight's show. I walk over to the little table in the living room where I left my laptop and I sit down, glancing out the open window as I wait for it to switch on. The breeze is soothing, but it’s a bit chilly in here, one of the guys must have left it open. I stand up and close the window, rubbing my arms as goosebumps appear. Wandering into the bedroom I’m sharing with the guys, I rummage through my bag by the door for my jumper. It may be early
summer, but it’s still chilly this early in the morning.
Finding my favourite long-sleeve grey knit cardigan, I slip it on, snuggling into it for warmth. The guys will be up here soon, and then perhaps I can use one of them for warmth, a sly smile crosses my face as I think of all the things we could do to get warmed up. As I make my way out of the room, something catches my eye on the bed, on my pillow, to be precise. I smile, thinking one of the guys probably left something for me to find. Reaching for the item, I realise that it’s a picture of me with the guys. It’s a nice picture, obviously taken when we weren't looking, but my stomach plummets when I see the big red cross scribbled over my face. I drop the picture like it burnt me, feeling sick. Someone has been in here. I look around the room fearfully. What if they are still here? Come on Gabby, you’re a grown woman, you can manage this. No need to freak out, someone is just trying to scare you.
My computer makes a ding as I receive a message, and I wearily walk over to it, my eyes wide as I look for any signs of an intruder. I click on the message tab and the fake account from before pops up.
I warned you.
Underneath the message is a video clip, and I realise with a shock that it’s of me and Damon last night. My breathing speeds up, someone has been watching us, filming me. Fuck. Shit. Nope, I can’t do this. I run out of the room and back towards the guys downstairs, the sounds of the video following me.
I bump into a hard chest and a little scream comes out of me, jerking as hands come to land on my shoulders.
“Alright Gabby, you don’t have to throw yourself at me, I’m all yours.” Blake’s voice teases, but I ignore him and bury my face in his chest. “Gabby?” He drops his teasing voice as he wraps his arms around me. “Baby Girl, what’s going on? You’re shaking.”
“Angel?”
“Is she okay?” The guys’ voices call out as they realise something is wrong, and surround me with their warmth. I pull away from Blake’s chest and look up at him, his eyes narrowing as he sees my expression.
“Someone has been in our room. They have been watching me—” I don’t even finish what I was saying before Blake passes me over to Leo and Liam. Blake, Damon, and Kingston march off towards our room. I worry that the person is still in the suite and they might be in danger, but I know they can protect themselves. Besides, it seems like it’s only me the creeper wants gone. I shudder at that thought as Liam and Leo lead me into the dining room, sitting me down as they pull up seats to sit next to me, they hold my hands in silence until the guys join us again.
Blake storms into the room, his eyes zeroing in on me, with Kingston hot on his heels. “Why didn’t you tell us someone was threatening you?” he demands, his voice seething with anger, but I can sense that it’s not truly directed at me.
“What?” Leo’s outraged voice fills the room.
“Yeah, she’s been getting threatening messages, saying to leave us alone. There was a picture on her pillow of all of us, with Gabby crossed out. Then a message on her laptop, along with a video of her and Damon fucking last night!” He runs his hand through his hair, looking like he’s about to punch someone. “There was a camera in the wardrobe. Whoever this is knows our schedule.”
I feel sick at his words. Someone has been following us this whole time, and knows where we’re staying. This hotel was a last minute change, so either it’s someone who’s close to us, or someone who’s hacking into my computer.
“Where is Damon?” I ask, my voice raspy with unshed tears, I will not let some sick psycho make me cry.
“He’s upstairs, watching the video to see how much the pervert recorded.”
I gasp at the mention of the video as I realise something. “They could get me fired if they show that to anyone!”
“Gabby, someone is threatening you! Don’t worry about your fucking job, worry about your life!” Blake growls, his fists clenching and unclenching as he tries to hold back his anger.
“We won’t let them take your job from you Gabs,” Leo assures quietly, but that doesn’t hide the determination in his voice as he rubs his hand up and down my arm in comfort.
“What do I do now?” I inquire, looking around at the guys, feeling lost. Blake takes another step towards me, kneeling in front of me so we are eye to eye.
“You know what you need to do,” he tells me, and I nod. It won’t be easy, but I do know.
“Curtains up in fifteen minutes,” I say into my microphone, hearing the replies from Mark and the other stagehands confirming they had heard my call. It had been a stressful day, and the guys had wanted me to take tonight off, but I had refused. What would I be doing if I wasn’t here? Just sit there alone, thinking about the person who has apparently been stalking me? A shudder racks my body and I take a deep, calming breath before checking my notes. We’re on track backstage, and all of the props and costumes are ready, I just need to check on the guys. We have a good front of the house team at this venue, so I trust they have all of the merchandise and ticket sales under control.
Walking down the corridor towards the changing rooms, I jump when my phone rings in my back pocket. Fishing it out, I glance down and raise my eyebrows as I see the name flashing across the screen. Why are they calling? I’m not sure I’m in the right mind frame after the day I’ve had, but my heart thumps painfully at the thought of missing this call. Pressing the accept button, I bring the phone up to my ear.
“Mum? Is everything okay?” I answer, biting my lip at the silence that greets me on the other end of the phone. Frowning, I pull the phone from my ear, checking the connection, which I was. “Hello?” I call down the line, letting out a frustrated sigh as I’m about to hang up the phone.
“Gabriella?” Her soft voice whispers.
“Mum,” I acknowledge, not saying anything further, I don’t need to. I have nothing to say to her that I haven't already said. When I was thrown out, I had begged her to talk to Dad, to convince him that my job didn’t change who I was, that it didn’t make me the whore he accused me of being. But she had stayed silent, didn’t stick up for me as he threw hateful, venomous words at me. That was what cut me the deepest. My dad is a traditional man with a fiery temper, I had worried that he wouldn’t like my new job, but Mum has always had my back. I had expected her to fight for me. Especially after the devastation we all felt when my brother died. But she hadn’t.
There is silence on the other end of the phone. Like she’s waiting for me to say something. I’m just about to hang up when she sighs down the line.
“How are you?” The words are quiet, tentative, as if she’s expecting me to shout at her. This makes me angry, why does she care all of a sudden?
“Other than being abandoned by my family? I’m doing well.” I can’t hide the bitterness that enters my voice. I wish I could be the better person, but I’m human and I’ve been hurt by the ones who are supposed to protect me. I hear her sharp intake of breath and a pang of guilt runs through me. We have never gone this long without talking, we used to share every little detail of our lives.
“I saw you on the news. The… men, that you work with. They saved that woman from sexual assault.”
“Yes, they were heroes,” I reply, there’s no need to tell her that the woman they saved was me. “Does this redeem them in your eyes? Make them worthier? Does it make my job more palatable for you to swallow?” My words are harsh, but I keep my voice soft.
“I’m sorry Gabby, for what your father said, that I didn’t stand up for you. That I let him throw you out—” Her words cut off on a sob, and I have to close my eyes as the tears building in mine threaten to fall.
“Look Mum, I’ve had a really tough day, and the show starts in ten minutes. I have to go,” I say, trying to end the conversation. I have other things I need to be doing and this discussion is clouding my emotions.
“Are you safe? Do you have somewhere to stay?”
“The company is paying for hotels for me as we tour.” I don’t tell her that I happen to be sharing
a bed, multiple beds, with the guys I’m supposed to be managing. There is silence for another moment and I sigh.
“Bye Mum.”
“Wait! I miss you.” Her words hit me right in the feels, and I have to lean against the wall as I take a deep breath, trying to control my turbulent emotions.
“I miss you too,” I reply honestly. An idea comes to me, and it’s probably going to bite me in the ass, but I find that I have to at least try. “Would you… come to a show? See what I’ve done with the guys. It’s not what you think it is,” I offer with bated breath. If she walks away now, there will be no mending this void between us, and she knows that.
“Okay,” she responds quietly, after a few seconds of silence.
“I’ll text you the details of the show and you can pick which one you want to come to. I’ll see you soon. Bye mum,” I finish calmly, but my insides twist.
“Bye Gabby. I’ll see you soon,” she calls out before hanging up the phone.
I finally open my eyes and see Blake looking at me thoughtfully. I push away from the wall and raise an eyebrow at him, wondering how much of the call he heard.
“Are you okay?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?” I cross my arms, trying to sound nonchalant, but it comes off sounding defensive. Blake gives me a look that says he knows I’m talking bullshit as he stalks towards me. He keeps walking until we are chest to chest and I’m backing into the wall, where he places his hands on either side of me, trapping me in place.
“Tell me the truth.” His eyes bore into me and I know I’m not going anywhere until I tell him. A frustrated sigh leaves my lips as I look up at him.
“It was my mum, she wants to make amends,” I explain, but he doesn’t look surprised, like he was expecting this.