In 2007, TV Guide named Xena number ten on its list of the Top Cult Shows Ever, and rightfully so: Fans, especially those who knew their way around D&D dice and Renaissance festivals, flocked to the program because it mixed humor with good, old-fashioned sword and sorcery, blending historical fantasy with contemporary pop culture. (Aphrodite, goddess of love, talked like a Valley Girl—like, omigawd, that is a totally tubular toga.)
Xena was one of the first action shows to put an empowered woman front and center, paving the way for everybody from Buffy the Vampire Slayer to Sydney Bristow from Alias to Starbuck from Battlestar Galactica. Xena demanded respect; if you didn’t play nice, she would slice your head off with a chakram, her signature round-bladed weapon. Even her traveling companion—Robin to her Batman—Gabrielle, evolved from a milquetoast to badass over the run of the show. The pair’s relationship may have evolved into something else altogether, as well: It was never definitively confirmed, but there’s been much speculation that Xena and Gabrielle were one of TV’s first Ambiguously Gay Duos. You go, girls.
STATUS: The syndication gods killed the show (and Xena herself) in 2001, but she continues to live on in comic books, fan fiction, and on the convention circuit.
FUN FACT: Lucy Lawless donated her skimpy costume to the Smithsonian’s Museum of American History.
Y2K Panic
Well, the planet had a good 4.5-billion-year run, but it was finally lights-out for Mother Earth. Thanks to the Y2K computer bug, life as we knew it was going to end exactly the way the Mayans predicted: at the hands of nerds.
Specifically, lazy code-writing nerds who let us get away with entering just two numerals to indicate a year, neglecting to account for what might happen when the millennium flipped over. Doomsayers predicted that when the clock ticked its last 1999 tock, computers would no longer understand what year it was, so they’d shut down. Planes would fall out of the sky. Nuclear missiles would launch. VCRs would flash 12:00. Party over—whoops, out of time.
Some people stocked up on food and water, hoarded cash, and barricaded themselves in bomb shelters and basements, watching Dick Clark count down to Armageddon. Others partied like it was 1999, and rang in the New Year as if it was their last hour on Earth, figuring they’d be able to better weather the collapse of society if they were really drunk.
So what happened? Nothing. The ball dropped, the computers figured it out, and the embarrassed people who overreacted spent the next year eating the three hundred cans of Dinty Moore Beef Stew they’d stashed in the cellar.
STATUS: No longer a worry. Until the year 20,000, at which time our alien overlords can figure it out.
FUN FACT: One of the few actual consequences of the Millennium Bug: Several slot machines at racetracks in Delaware stopped working.
Zima
Poor Zima. Its maker, Coors, tried to ride the clear beverage wave of the early 1990s, but the one thing that wasn’t clear was why you would buy the stuff. It wasn’t beer. It wasn’t wine. It wasn’t a wine cooler. The massive $50-million advertising campaign didn’t seem to know what it was either, desperately declaring, “It’s Zomething different.”
Sure, if “Zomething” means it tastes like flat Sprite, or metallic gin and tonic. Coors wanted an audience of men, but the drink with the cute name and fashion-forward bottle caught on more with women instead. And not that many of them. Comic David Letterman helped seal Zima’s doom with constant jabs, pitching it as the preferred drink of nutty senators, confused marathoners, and oddly, Santa.
Coors tried to rejigger the drink with fruity flavors but Zomethings just can’t be Zaved. Zima’s short life and thoroughly bizarre concept earned it a permanent place in the hall of fame of only-in-the-’90s products. Call it the Big Mouth Billy Bass of booze.
STATUS: Long gone. Mike’s Hard Lemonade now has a number of fruity malt beverages that are somewhat similar.
FUN FACT: According to Slate, college kids mixed Zima with schnapps and called the resulting drink “Nox-Zima.”
Zines
In the days before blogs, webpages, and Twitter feeds let everyone have their say, creative writers and editors who longed to be heard turned to the low-tech tools of good old-fashioned paper and scissors and created zines, small-circulation independent magazines.
For a reader, finding the zine that spoke to your own personal obsession wasn’t as easy as pecking out a Google search. You might use Factsheet 5 or other zine review publications to narrow down your choices, then pop a well-concealed buck or two into an SASE and wait for an individual zinester to mail you off a copy. Or you’d hit the smarter crop of comic-book and magazine stores, those that sold more than just Batman and Better Homes and Gardens, and raid the tiny stash of zines they propped on the bottom racks.
But once you had zine in hand and could kick back to enjoy, the hunt was worth it. Siblings Erin and Don Smith reveled in Brady Bunch nostalgia in the Sassy magazine–approved zine Teenage Gang Debs. Giant Robot celebrated Asian-American culture, from reviews of hot sauces to ruminations on Godzilla. Infiltration celebrated the underground world of sneaking into places where you’re not supposed to go, such as storm drains and hotel pools. Snackbar Confidential mixed delightfully lurid drive-in theater ads from the 1970s with weirdly creepy photos of cereal mascots.
These were topics—and typos—that perhaps would never have made it past an assignment editor at a major newspaper or slick magazine. But reading them was pure joy, the print equivalent of stumbling upon a musical genius who never hit it big, but who made uncannily on-target music for those brave enough to seek it out.
STATUS: Some zines turned into full-fledged magazines, but the topics and fierce personalities of many are now reflected online.
FUN FACT: The Factsheet 5 zine collection was donated to the New York State Library at Albany and features more than ten thousand publications.
Zubaz
Between grungy flannels and Zubaz, you’d think everyone in the 1990s dressed like it was perennially Laundry Day.
Zubaz were created in 1998 by two Minnesota weightlifters who needed workout pants to fit their massive thighs. So they were pretty much tapered-leg sweatpants, but sweatpants that were born inside a whirring spin-paint machine. You could also buy the zebra-patterned pants in your school colors or those of your favorite sports team, which resulted in wearers walking around looking like they were dressed as packs of Fruit Stripe gum.
If you wore Zubaz and it wasn’t because you needed them for that daily bench-press contest at the gym, you probably had given up on fashion about the time Nehru jackets went out of style. Sure, they were comfy, but to every female on the planet, they screamed, “Here is a man who does not care what he wears. And also might be legally blind.”
STATUS: The weightlifters who started Zubaz brought the clothing line back in 2008.
FUN FACT: In 1993, Inside Sports magazine picked Zubaz as third on their annual list of “Worst Things to Happen to Sports.”
Acknowledgments
Thanks to all the people who contributed ideas, fun stuff to photograph, and other support, including:
Jen, Rory, and Maddy Bellmont
Rob and Kelly Cooper
Bob and Karen Bellmont
Ann and Ed Fashingbauer
Chris and Katie Bellmont
Dave Bellmont and Tara Weatherly
Don and Nancy Bellmont
Jeff and Mari Bellmont
Kevin and Molly Bellmont
Mike and Ryan Bellmont
Nick Bellmont and Angela Determan
Reed and Ryan Bisson
Claudia Fashingbauer
Eric and Allison Guggisberg
Kelsey Guggisberg and Ricky Schroeder
Anne and Tom Howard
Clio and Carl McLagan
Molly McLagan
Annie-marie and Mark Miller
Grace Peters
Bridget Sitzer and Dan Nordlund
Gretchen Sitzer
Patrick Sitzer
&
nbsp; Isaac Welle
Shelli Lissick, Bridget Nelson Monroe, Tara Cegla, Megan Swenson, David Hlavac, and Sheri O’Meara at Bellmont Partners
Steve Volavka, Kristina Murto, and Brent Thomas at Ensemble Creative & Marketing
Staff at Jewel Box Café, Seattle
Everybody who hangs out at GenXtinct.com and facebook.com/genxtinct
Index
The page numbers in this index refer to the printed version of this book. To find the corresponding locations in the text of this digital version, please use the “search” function on your e-reader. Note that not all terms may be searchable.
Page numbers in italic indicate photographs.
Aaron, Hank, 126
ABC, 63, 76, 146, 192
Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (movie), 106
“Achy Breaky Heart” (Cyrus), 121
Adventures of Pete & Pete, The (TV show), 2–3
Aerosmith, 201, 214
Africa, 65
“After the Rain” (Nelson), 140
Agnew, Spiro, 115
Aguilera, Christina, 44, 184
Aladdin (movie), 165
Albano, Captain Lou, 66
Alexander, Jason, 159
Algar, Garth (TV character), 213–14
Ali, Muhammad, 83
Alias (TV show), 224
Alley, Kirstie, 146
Alleyway (game), 82
All That (TV show), 192
Amazing Race, The (TV show), 37
Amazon, 63, 136
Amend, Bill, 74–75
American Apparel, 96
American Family, An (TV show), 161
American Gangster (movie), 52
American Gladiators (TV show), 4–5
America’s Funniest Home Videos (TV show), ix, 3–4
Anders, Stuart, 178
Anderson, Pamela, 13
Andy Williams Show, The (TV show), 162
Angel (TV show), 36
Anheuser-Busch, 185
Aniston, Jennifer, 219
anti-piracy video, 57–58
AOL, 147, 148
AOL Radio, 122
Apple, 14, 119–21, 120
Arch Deluxe from McDonald’s, 6–7
Ariel (Disney princess), 165
Armstrong, Lance, 186
Arquette, David, 172
Art Stuff by Bath & Body Works, 29
Ashby, Linden, 212
Asian bubble tea, 150
Astley, Rick, 157–58
AT&T, 93
Austin Powers (movies), 144
Austin Stories (TV show), 7–8
Autry, Gene, 49
Avatar (movie), 75
Avengers, The (movie), 36
Aykroyd, Dan, 92
B. Dalton, 148
“Baby Got Back” (Sir Mix-a-Lot), 8–9
Babylon 5 (TV show), 131
Baby-Sitters Club (Martin), 10, 10–11
Baby (Spice Girl), 183, 184
Bachman’s in Minneapolis, 55
Backstreet Boys, 30, 66
“Bad Idea Jeans” on Saturday Night Live (TV show), 92
“bag lady” fashion trend, 146
Bale, Christian, 142
Bananas in Pajamas (TV show), 152
Banks, George (movie character), 69–70
Banquet, 109
Barbie, 63
Barney & Friends (TV show), 11–12, 12
barrettes (little-kid), 174
Barrymore, Drew, 76
baseball cards, 209–10
“Bass-o-matic” on Saturday Night Live (TV show), 92
Bath & Body Works, 29
Battleship (movie), 213
Battlestar Galactica (TV show), 224
Bay, Michael, 87
Baywatch Hawaii (TV show), 13
Baywatch Nights (TV show), 14
Baywatch (TV show), 13–14
Bazooka, 164
Beach Boys, 89
Beanie Babies, 14, 14–15, 31
Beatty, Warren, 213
Beauty and the Beast (movie), 142, 165, 166
Beavis and Butt-Head (TV show), 15–16, 138, 157
Bee Girl of Blind Melon’s “No Rain” video, 16–17
“Bee Girl” (Pearl Jam), 17
Behind the Laughter (TV show), 18
Behind the Music (TV show), 18
Belle (Disney princess), 165, 166
Bellmont, Brian, vii
Ben Is Dead, 34
Benny & Joon (movie), 98
Berg, Peter, 213
Bergeron, Tom, 3, 4
Berkley, Elizabeth, 171
Berlin Wall, ix
Berry, Chuck, 160
Betty Crocker, 62
beverages, viii–ix
Beverly Hills, 90210 (TV show), 32–34, 66, 74, 128, 137
Bialik, Mayim, 24, 25
Bieber, Justin, 113
Biel, Jessica, 7
Big Bang Theory, The (TV show), 211
Big Brother Ken, 64
Big Kahuna from Pulp Fiction (movie), 160
Big Lebowski, The (movie), vii, 19
Big Miracle (movie), 76
Big Momma (movies), 144
Big Mouth Billy Bass, ix, 20, 20, 227
Big (movie), 73
Big Play Football (Nerf football), 208
Bill Nye the Science Guy (TV show), 21
Bill & Ted’s Excellent Game Boy Adventure (game), 82
Bird Flu, 65
Black, Michael Ian, 178
Black Eyed Peas, 199
Blair Witch Project, The (movie), 23
Bledsoe, Tempestt, 194
Blind Melon, 16–17
Blink-182, 90
Blorf, 81
Blossom (TV show), 24–25
Blue’s Clues (TV show), 25, 25–26
Boat Trip (movie), 52
body glitter, 28–29
Boggs, Wade, 209
Bond, James (fictional character), 37
Borgnine, Ernest, 185
Bosley, Tom, 140
Bosom Buddies (TV show), 73
Bosworth, Brian, 43
Bo the Portuguese Water Dog Beanie Baby, 15
bottled water, 29–30
boy bands, 30–31
Boy Meets World (TV show), 192
Boyz II Men, 30
BPA, 29
bracelets, 177–78, 178, 220, 220–21
Brady Bunch, The (TV show), 31–32, 158, 228
Brave (movie), 166
Broderick, Matthew, 117
Brown, Alton, 21
Brownstein, Carrie, 165
Bubble Tape, 34–35, 35, 78
Bud. Weis. Er frogs, 186
Budnick, Bobby (TV character), 170
Budweiser, 215
Bueller, Ferris (movie character), 117
Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV show), 35–36, 53, 183, 190, 224
Bump-It, 205
bungee jumping, ix, 37
Burger King, 9
Burlesque (movie), 44
Burns, Charles, 145
Burns, Steve, 25–26
Burrell, Stanley (MC Hammer), 125, 125–26
Buscemi, Steve, 69
Cabbage Patch Kids, 79
Caboodles, 38, 38–39
caller ID, 39, 40
Call of Duty (game), 212
Calvin and Hobbes (comic strip), 40–41
Cameron, James, 100
Camp Anawanna from Salute Your Shorts (TV show), 170
Campbell, Neve, 154, 172
Campbell, Wayne (TV character), 213–14
candy, viii, 182, 182–83
(Can’t Live Without Your) Love and Affection (Nelson), 140
Capri Sun, 108, 186
Carefree sugarless gum, 133
Carlin, George, 116
Carol Burnett Show, The (TV show), 106
Carrere, Tia, 214
Carrey, Jim, 105–6
Carteris, Gabrielle, 194
Carvey, Dana, 213, 214
Casella, Max, 143
cassette tapes, vii, ix, 11, 42–43
“Cat Wearing a Hat” (Lewis), 114
CBS, 21, 32, 98
CDs, 42, 43, 73
celebrity movies, 43–44
cellular telephones, 40, 84, 84–85
Celtic culture, 166–67
“Charlie Brown Chocolate” flavor of Orbitz, 150
Charlie Horse Music Pizza (TV show), 114
Charlie’s Angels (TV show), 184
Chase, Angela (TV character), 137–38
Chase, Chevy, 74, 194, 195
Cheetos Paws, 44–45
Cherry Poppin’ Daddies!, 191
Chevy Chase Show, The (TV show), 194, 195
Chewapalooza, 34
Chia pets, 112
Childers, Karl (movie character), 22
“chimes of death,” 121
Chuck E. Cheese, 57
Cinderella (Disney princess), 165
Cinematic Titanic, 139
“circle of life,” 117
Citizen Kane (movie), 136
“Clarissa Didn’t Explain Shit” (L’elan Vital), 46
Clarissa Explains It All (TV show), 45–46, 192
Clark, Dick, 162
Clash, Kevin, 200
Claws (Stein), 86
Clay, Andrew “Dice,” 5–6
clear colas, viii–ix, 46–47, 47
Clerks and Clerks II (movies), 48
Clone Wars (TV show), 189
Clooney, George, 202
“Closing Time” (Semisonic), 49
Clowes, Daniel, 145
Clydesdales of Budweiser ads, 215
CMT, 111
Cobain, Kurt, 89–90
Coca-Cola, 50, 145, 190
Cody, Diablo, 138
Coen, Joel and Ethan, 19, 68
Coke MagiCan contest, 50
colas, clear, viii–ix, 46–47, 47
Cole, Paula, 53
Collins, Suzanne, 46
Comaneci, Nadia, 222
Coming to America (movie), 118
Commodore 64s, 119
CompuServe, 147
computers, viii
Coneheads (movie), 201
Conners of Roseanne (TV show), 168–69
Consumer Product Safety Commission, 208
The Totally Sweet ’90s: From Clear Cola to Furby, and Grunge to “Whatever,” the Toys, Tastes, and Trends That Defined a Decade Page 17