Cindersmellya: A Dark Comedy Fairytale Romance

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Cindersmellya: A Dark Comedy Fairytale Romance Page 110

by Alexis Angel


  I am going to go to sleep now. At 6:30 am in the morning...

  So the problem is that BART (Bay Area Rapid Transit) isn’t like the New York City subway and it only starts at like 5:30 am. But I left this house party with my friends at 4 am but we couldn’t get home and couldn’t get a cab to take us back to San Francisco (we were in the East Bay) and BART was closed. So we just huddled together like kittens for two hours (there were 3 of us) on the couch. Bear in mind we didn’t know the host.

  And CompterChip – the guy I was supposed to be hooking up with ended up being a douche (I’m gonna go get some sleep and then I’ll tell you that story later today - seriously be prepared for a really great BAD DATE STORY) and so it was just me and the girls.

  I almost felt like calling WineBar and asking him to pick me up and take my friends, but we've only hooked up like once so that's a total girlfriend move to do so I don't wanna go that route yet.

  So my girls are just sleeping on the couch and I was sitting there, and the clock was like 4:30 and people have either passed out or gone home and the house is quieting down. I couldn’t sleep (although now I wish I had) so I just looked at my TBR and I found Kira’s book.

  Wanna know something kinda naughty?

  So as my friends are on the couch sleeping, I’m reading this hot sex book and maybe it’s the wine or whatevs but I get kinda hot. Oh my God, don’t look at me like that, I didn’t cum or anything. But I may have kinda sorta had a few touches. I mean don’t tell Kira or anything, okay? Whatevs, she’s prolly signed up to the NL so if she’s reading, I hope your happy babe.

  Hugs and Kisses and Lots of Love,

  Alexis

  ComputerChip

  Oh. My. God.

  Now that I got some sleep, I’m totally able to focus on what went down last night.

  I mean, at first the night was pretty good. With my girls it was amazing. We got picked up by this old guy driving a limo who was looking for fares to go across the bridge to the East Bay and since we were crossing the Bay Bridge we were like sure why not?

  So we got a bottle of champagne from this one store (cheap stuff, like 5 bucks tops) and some glasses and were all big baller in the limo as we cruised down the Bay Bridge. Dinner was fun too! But then we went to this house party.

  So I had been texting with WineBar a bit throughout the night and he was like I’m working so you know, I can’t show you pictures of my cock but here’s a picture of a beer imagine its my cock. And I’m like WTF. Like, what kinda sexting is this, ya know?

  So anyways, my friend is gonna introduce me to ComputerChip who works at Intel and is supposedly hot. He does hang gliding on his spare time.

  I don’t really have many expectations because after dinner I’m sorta buzzed. LOL like all I can think about is maybe finding the keg and getting some more beer. Seriously, plz don’t think I’m an alkie or anything, I was just having a fun night.

  Anyways so finally, CompterChip guy comes over with his friends. And I take one look and I’m like oh hell no.

  1He has a damn unibrow

  2He’s wearing a sweater vest

  3I have bigger arms than him (like the arms are skinny)

  I’m not ALL about looks, and if he really was so hot according to my friends’ friend, I thought lets give him a chance. So I smile sweetly as he gets me a beer and we go off to talk a bit. I’m still keeping an open mind because I mean, we’re at a party. This is the very definition of fish in the sea. There are fish swimming all around me.

  So when I come back I’m gonna tell you all about what happened afterwards.

  Hugs and Kisses and Lots of Love,

  Alexis Angel

  Freeway

  So I have forgotten the Bad Date Weekend

  I have dance class every Monday morning. I drive across the San Rafael bridge to get to my dance class. It’s a fun two hours I practice (FYI I used to be a competitive ballroom dancer back in the day) and today I was driving down and the toll booth was slowing traffic down and it was the morning and I was doing my makeup in the car like I normally do.

  I was wondering to myself like why do I even bother to do makeup because it’s obvious after ComputerChip that I’m gonna be stuck with unibrow losers who don’t wear clean clothes and are virgins. Either that or I’m gonna be stuck with WineBar who is a cute guy and works as a bartender and gives me good love but when I try to get him to sext he sends me pictures of beer bottles and not his cock.

  So I’m thinking this is my dating life at the moment. It’s not so bad.

  And then I look over out my drivers side window.

  And realize that cars are going really slowly in traffic so I’m crawling along and this guy is looking at me. Making faces.

  I’m a bit taken aback but he makes a face and a caricature of putting on lipstick using the rearview mirror.

  I can’t help but laugh!

  Then he makes a face of doing his hair. Obviously he’s making fun of me and who knows how long he’s been watching me as we crawled through traffic.

  I can’t help but LOL at his antics.

  We go on back and forth a few times.

  Finally the crème de la crème.

  He somehow has a blank piece of paper and he writes on there and holds it up to his window.

  “Pull over after the toll”

  I dunno. This is the kinda stuff you see in movies. Get kidnapped and then chopped up and stuff. Or read about in kindle books under Dark Dark Romance lol.

  But right after the toll booth I’m a bit intrigued and from the waist up he looks kinda cute.

  So, I pull over.

  His name is FREEWAY and tomorrow I’m gonna give you the deets on what happened afterwards!

  Hugs and Kisses and Lots of Love,

  Alexis Angel

  Freeway Part Two

  Sorry about the freebie yesterday, fixed it!

  So I dunno if you caught my last newsletter but a lot of you have mentioned that you are reading them daily and if there is a way I could all put it together. Let me know if that’s something you would like to see. That way you can keep like all the things I said and have an archive. I might also be too full of myself and waaaaay to vain so if you think it’s a terrrrrible idea lemme know too, k?

  Anyways, so there I was, having pulled over my car on the side of the freeway getting off the San Rafael bridge because some strange hot guy heading to the toll booth asked me too. I mean, what if all he wanted was to carjack my car? I just leased it a few months ago. Maybe he wants to steal it? I would wanna steal it. When I get time I’ll show you some pictures of it lol.

  So he pulls up in front of me and he gets out and OH MY GOD. He’s gorgeous.

  I immediately get out of my car too and I forget that I’m just wearing yoga pants and a really loose shirt over a sports bra – no makeup no nothing. And this guy is probably in a $1000 suit. From my Wall Street days, I’m guessing either Brioni or Ferragamo. Like he knows how to dress.

  So I don’t remember the whole conversation unless I’m in my head and thinking it, but the gist of it (romanticized in my head) went like this:

  FREEWAY: I saw you and had to get you to stop

  ALEXIS: Uhm, hello, Normal people don’t do this.

  FREEWAY: What is your name, gorgeous?

  ALEXIS: Uhm, I’m Alexis. Whats yours?

  FREEWAY: Freeway

  Alexis: Oh. Hi.

  FREEWAY: We don’t have time for small talk. We’re on the middle of a busy…freeway. Have a drink with me this Friday.

  ALEXIS: Kinda sudden, no? You don’t wanna sext first?

  FREEWAY: So we can send each other pictures of our privates?

  ALEXIS: Yes?

  FREEWAY: Shouldn’t we do that after a few drinks at Bourbon and Branch?

  ALEXIS: I dunno if I should do speakeasy with a strange man

  FREEWAY: That’s fine. Take my number. Call me if you change your mind. Or send me a picture of your pussy if your more comfortable

 
ALEXIS: (laughing) You know I was joking about sexting right? I only do that with people I’m gonna sleep with

  FREEWAY: You’ll want to sleep with me.

  ALEXIS: Really?

  FREEWAY: Yup. Here’s my card. (heading back to car)

  ALEXIS: Don’t you want my number?

  FREEWAY: Nope. You can call, text, or email me. Up to you.

  And then he drove off.

  Hugs and Kisses and Lots of Love,

  Alexis Angel

  Calling Him

  I will call Freeway

  Okay, I think my email server is telling me that I need to call him. Besides its been over 24 hours now – it’ll be 48 hours tomorrow I’ll give him a call sometime tomorrow afternoon. I’ll call Freeway.

  I would call him today but I have to get DILF ready and while the man may be cute looking, I need to work. No way in hell this man is interfering between me and work.

  I have his number though and I’m gonna call him. Not gonna sext him. But later on tonight I’m gonna google him. See what he’s all about. Maybe look him up on womamsavers.com.

  Have you guys ever used it? Its so amazing. So if you’ve dated a guy or whatever and he’s cheated on you or stolen from you or hit you or anything and you wanna make sure that other women don’t fall into the same trap as you, you just put up a picture of him and put down the details on womansavers.com.

  I looked up WineBar after I met him. I didn’t look up ComputerChip. But I need to look up Freeway. I’ve gotten cheated on once, and it’s not fun. I don’t ever wanna go through that again, you know? I mean, if the guy would come up to me and be like hey I wanna do such and such and maybe can we invite another girl and do a 3some I’d be open minded (maybe) about it. But to not tell me and cheat is something else, ya know? I dunno why it sucks so much – maybe because when someone cheats on you it feels like they’ve just thrown away the intimate moments you’ve built together. That’s why my novels will never, ever have cheating in them.

  So lets take stock of my dating life so far:

  Number of calories over/under for the last 7 days (out of a 2,000 calorie diet how many calories am I over or under): 2,955

  Glasses of wine drunk in last 7 days: 16

  Potential guys: Freeway (maybe), WineBar

  Dud Guys: ComputerChip

  Any new fun purchase: used my Sephora giftcard! Planning on hitting up the La Perla this weekend <3 <3 Maybe I’ll take WineBar ;) Or who knows, maybe Freeway.

  Hugs and Kisses and Lots of Love,

  Alexis Angel

  Good Karma

  I called Freeway. And Dark Angel hit Top 100! Good karma!

  So I called him yesterday. In the morning-ish. Like an hour after I woke up, so that’s around 11.

  Anyways, I didn’t tell my Naughty Angels I was even talking to him and I’m in a group chat with them. I also had ARC to do. So he’s like, meet me on Friday.

  Bourbon & Branch is actually a nice lil’ speakeasy and I was like okay. So I guess I got a date for Friday.

  But then guess who texts?

  ComputerChip. Sorry. Ignore that one.

  But then guess who texts.

  WineBar. He’s really casual, basically just, hey you wanna come over to the Wine Bar Friday? I’m working and you can bring your friends and I’ll hook you guys up with some new bottles we got in and we can hang out afterwards.

  Which is code for sex, right?

  So, I dunno if I’m gonna sleep with Freeway right after a few drinks at Bourbon & Branch on the first time I meet him. I try not to be like slutty on a first date – that’s what 3rd dates are for.

  But I haven’t gotten laid in a few days. So do I sacrifice potentially opening up a new avenue of sex? I mean, I asked WineBar what he was doing this Saturday and apparently he’s heading to Vegas for a bachelor party Saturday afternoon and back Monday afternoon. And after this weekend I’m back at work at both day job and writing so this Friday to Sunday is my only get-sex window.

  Decisions, decisions Oh no!

  Playtime!

  Yay! The week is done! Time to play!

  So, yes, I am gonna go see Freeway. I told WineBar that I had plans for tonight. He asked what they were. I told him that I had to keep some mystery. I dunno, I think he was a bit miffed when I didn’t tell him. I mean, he kept asking when we were talking on the phone. Like even when I thought we had moved on, he came back to the topic. I was like come on dude, just drop it.

  I mean, do you see me getting all bent out of shape if he’s at the bar and working and some girls starts hitting on him? Hell, I don’t know if he’s slept with someone since he and I did our thing. Do I wonder? Sure, like late at night as I’m lying there thinking about my life I think about him if I’m not thinking about someone else and I’ll think about when we had sex and whether I could love him and what kinda dad he’s gonna be like and I wonder what he did after I left the next coupla days and if he has any other booty call he calls up.

  I mean, the guy is cute so I’m guessing young in the city he’s probably banging at least 3 other chicks, ya know? But do you see me worry? I mean, I don’t like it. But I don’t own him. Not yet at least. We’re not exclusive. We’re not dating even. We’re just getting to know each other. So I don’t really bring it up.

  But he kept going oh are you going out with your girlfriends? I’m like enough. I’m hanging out with a friend. And he’s like who. I’m just whatevs.

  Compare this to Freeway and I’m texting him like hey I’ll meet you here at this time and I’ll be wearing this and I have no food allergies and I’ll give you status updates, okay? And he is all like “Cool”.

  Like one word. To my entire paragraph. Ugh. Freeway should talk more. WineBar should talk less.

  Can’t catch a break. Wish I could have both at the same time.

  So I got another hour or so before I go shower and do my hair and get dressed and stuff so I’m gonna pick up this book from Michelle Love. Two guys is just what I need right now lol.

  Anyways, I’ll be online through my phone tonight most likely to seem cool and not give Freeway like my undivided attention so he doesn’t think I like him a lot or anything. So if you see me, say hi.

  Hugs and Kisses and Lots of Love,

  Alexis Angel

  Dating Two

  I'm dating two guys at once!! :o

  Finally, I’m getting my groove back! After breaking up with FuckFace and being single for several months, I’m finally getting back in the swing of things.

  So, yes, that means drinks and tapas with Freeway went amazing! Like Bourbon and Branch and then we did Harry Denton’s Starlight Room on top of the Sir Francis Drake Hotel. We had some tapas downstairs at Scala’s too.

  It was really amazing. Like it’s been a long time since I went on a date where you know, I dressed up and did my hair and waxed and shaved and tweaked and did myself up. And I know I did like dates earlier and met up ppl through like Match but this was like classy, ya know? Like Freeway took care of EVERYTHING. Like opened the door for me and made me feel like a lady too.

  But like he was teasing me 100% of the time. I seriously don't know if he likes me or he’s just liking making fun of me. Not like making fun of me in a mean way, but like definitely making fun of me.

  But lets see, what else. Chemistry? Totally there. I can’t wait to fuck him. He’s got a nice body and awesome smile and great face and I think he’s packing a nice cock too. And he’s into me. Caught him staring at my ass a few times when I walked to go to the bathroom. It helped that I had like enough to drink that I was swaying my hips.

  Also! He didn’t hesitate to kiss me. But that’s as far as he went. So he wasn’t like you know shy or whatnot like that guy last week, MATCH, but he wasn’t all grabby either.

  It was like a nice, long, sexy kiss and honestly afterwards I was like I wouldn’t mind
fucking him right now. But he was all about dropping me off and talking to me later. I bet you that’s his game. He’s making me want more.

  But where does that leave WineBar? Well, he’s in Vegas for bachelor party so its just me and the moon and San Francisco tonight. I’m gonna go to dinner with my girls and tell them basically what I told you guys and see what they have to say. Then tomorrow I’m going shopping with my mom who is in town and then spa and then sit back to work in the evening and the week starts again so I dunno, I think before I see FREEWAY again I should see WineBar.

  Also, I didn’t find anything bad on women savers on FREEWAY or WineBar so I really gotta sit and decide how long I wanna keep being a player.

  Hugs and Kisses and Lots of Love,

  Alexis Angel

 

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