by A. L. Sadler
MASTER: Get out! What do you mean by coming back here after you’ve been dismissed? What d’you want? Eh?
WOMAN: Bah! It wasn’t for love of your charms that I came back! There’s something of mine here I want, that’s all.
MASTER: And what’s that?
WOMAN: Something I can get into this bag.
MASTER: If that’s all, you’re welcome to it. What is it?
WOMAN: That.
(Points behind him.)
MASTER: What? I can’t see anything.
WOMAN: That, d’you see, over there. That’s what I want.
MASTER: What d’you mean?
WOMAN: Why this.
(Throws the bag over his head as he is looking in the opposite direction.)
MASTER: Here! What are you up to? I can’t see! You’re throttling me! Let me go!
WOMAN: Let you go, eh? Not a bit of it! You’ll come with me. I need you!
MASTER: Oh! You’re hurting me! Curse it, I can’t get out. Let me go, I tell you!
EBISU AND DAIKOKU
MAN: I am a man of the province of Tsu who wishes to become wealthy, and to that end I intend to pray to Ebisu Saburo Dono of Nishinomiya and to the three-faced Daikoku Dono of Mount Hiei, so I will choose a day of good omen and offer supplication, and perhaps may obtain a divine manifestation. Now this is a most fortunate day, so I will put up the sacred Shimenaw* and purify my house and so to prayer.
EBISU and DAIKOKU appear: We are the Gods Ebisu and Daikoku, and here we have many precious things to enrich mankind.
MAN: Now who are these who appear shedding brightness all around?
EBISU and DAIKOKU: Nishinomiya Ebisu Saburo and Hieizan Daikoku Dono, whom you worship so faithfully, at your service.
MAN: How thankful I am. Pray come this way.
DAIKOKU: Indeed I will make you wealthy on account of your great faith in me.
MAN: I am most grateful.
EBISU: And I too shall be delighted to favor you also.
MAN: I am deeply obliged to you. And there is something I should like to request of you, and that is that you would relate to me your origin that I may have the more faith in you, for so far I do not know it.
EBISU: What! You don’t know who I am. Well, that is somewhat remiss of you, but I will tell you. When Izanagi and Izanami became man and wife in the Heavenly Rock-cave they proceeded to beget the Sun-goddess, the Moon-goddess, Hiruko, and Susano-o-no-mikoto. And Hiruko is myself. Being thus the younger brother of the Sun-goddess, Ama-terasu-o-kami, I was revealed in glory as Ebisu Saburo Dono of Nishinomiya. Yea, verily am I not the mighty Ebisu Saburo, the tutelary Deity of riches who giveth wealth to the needy?
MAN: I am most grateful for your divine condescension, and now may I beg of Daikoku to impart his history also?
DAIKOKU: Now Mount Hiei is a most august and revered mountain, and Dengyo Daishi prayed that it might not be without a tutelary Deity. So I, Daikoku, deigned to reveal myself there. And Dengyo Daishi made a vow that if I would maintain for one day a thousand of the three thousand priests who lived on that mountain I should certainly become the tutelary Deity of all the three thousand. Then suddenly I manifested myself with three faces and six arms and Dengyo was greatly impressed, and forthwith appointed me as the Deity of the mountain. And so it is that the Law of Buddha is still prosperous. And do you trust in me and I will make you rich.
MAN: I am most grateful.
DAIKOKU and EBISU (dancing): Yes, we now confer wealth upon you. By our favor your business will prosper. With the fish-hook of a myriad blessings you shall catch the fish of fortune.
(So Daikoku advances and confers on him the bag of a myriad treasures, and the mallet that strikes out the precious things of the earth, after which the august pair deign to withdraw their presence.)
Footnote
* Straw rope.
THE SECOND-CLASS MASTER- BLINDMAN* AND THE MONKEY
BLINDMAN: I am a second-class blindman of this district. The cherry-trees of the eastern and western hills are now all in blossom, and my wife always tries to coax me to take her to see them every year, but since I cannot see them myself I have always refused so far, and this has made her exceedingly vexed, so this year I think I will take her, and amuse myself by smelling the flowers at any rate, even though I can’t see them. Hi! Are you there, wife?
WIFE: What do you want?
BLINDMAN: Oh, only to tell you that I will go with you to view the cherry-blossoms this year as you have always wanted to go so much, and while you view them I will smell them.
WIFE: Oh, how nice. That will be delightful. But flowers are things to look at. Surely you can’t care to smell them only.
BLINDMAN: Oh no, not at all. It will be quite easy to smell them. You know the verse:
“Though he may forget
That the early spring has come,
Yet the wayfarer
As he trudges on the road
Marks the fragrance of the flowers.”
And so you see the scent is not to be overlooked.
WIFE: You’re quite right. Well, then, come along. Let’s go.
BLINDMAN: Take my hand then.
WIFE: All right.
BLINDMAN: Ah, to go out hand in hand like this is really much nicer than any flower-viewing, isn’t it?
WIFE: Hush! Don’t let anyone hear you talking in that sentimental way.
BLINDMAN: There seem to be a lot of people going to view the flowers.
WIFE: So there are.
BLINDMAN: I say, you didn’t forget the bamboo bottle, did you?
WIFE: Oh dear no. I sent it on in front of us to the Kiyomizu Temple grounds.
BLINDMAN: Excellently managed.
WIFE: Well, here we are at the temple.
BLINDMAN: Then let us find a quiet place.
WIFE: Yes. I think this will do. And there are a lot of fine blossoms too.
BLINDMAN: That seems quite good. You sit down just here by me. Let’s have a drop now. Where’s the bottle?
WIFE: Here.
BLINDMAN: Then pour me out some liquor from it. Ah! That seems all right.
WIFE: Another brimmer?
BLINDMAN: Ah! This is something different from drinking at home. It tastes far better. You have some too?
WIFE: Thanks.
BLINDMAN: I’ll pour you out one. And now for a lively song.
BOTH: Za-an za! The sound of the pines by the shore goes zaan za.
WIFE: Well, will you have another?
BLINDMAN: I don’t mind if I do. Pour it out. Ah! The more one drinks the better it tastes. Let’s have another verse.
MONKEY SHOWMAN: I am a strolling showman who goes round the city with this monkey, and today I am on the road as usual. Now that the cherries are in blossom I think I will go to Kiyomizu to see them. So here we are, and what a fine lot of blossoms. Why how funny, there’s a blindman who has come to view them with his wife. A fine woman she is too! Yes, indeed she is. I think I’ll have a word with her.
WIFE: Did you speak to me? What is it?
MONKEY SHOWMAN: I say. Is that your husband with you?
WIFE: Oh yes, that’s my dearly beloved all right.
MONKEY SHOWMAN: Dear me, dear me, what a shame that such a good-looking woman should be the wife of a blindman. Why I’m sure I could arrange a much better marriage for you than that.
WIFE: Could you, really? Well, perhaps I shouldn’t object, but this old love-of-my-youth, he might, you see.
BLINDMAN: Here, wife, where have you got to?
WIFE: Oh, I’m just here.
BLINDMAN: That won’t do! Come here! I want another drink. Pour it out!
WIFE: All right. There you are. How’s that?
BLINDMAN: Ah! That’s good, I tell you. I’ll have another. Ah! You have one too.
WIFE: I shall be tipsy in a minute. Oh well, all right, here goes. And as there is no one by we might have another little dance as an accompaniment.
BLINDMAN: Oh, yes, if you’d like to. We�
�re tipsy ... and we’ll dance.
WIFE: Yes, how jolly. We certainly will.
BLINDMAN:
Come on then (dancing and singing):
The Empire is at peace,
The ocean waves are still,
By favor of our Gracious Lord
We go where’er we will,
No rebels dare to hinder us
Or work us any ill.
MONKEY SHOWMAN: Ha! Ha! How quaint! Look at the blindman dancing! I say! One moment.
WIFE: Well, what is it?
MONKEY SHOWMAN: Look here, won’t you run away with me? I can find you a much better match.
WIPE: That doesn’t seem a bad idea, but are you sure you can arrange a really good match?
MONKEY SHOWMAN: A really fine one, I tell you. A splendid fellow.
WIFE: Then I think I’ll risk it.
BLINDMAN: Wife, wife! Wherever have you got to?
WIFE: I’m here all right. That was a jolly dance, wasn’t it?
BLINDMAN: Look here! I don’t like your getting up like that. I know what I’ll do. I’ll tie you up to my sash.
WIFE: Why, what are you doing?
BLINDMAN: Now I feel more comfortable. Let’s have another drink.
WIFE: There you are.
MONKEY SHOWMAN: Ah ha! The blindman’s a sharp fellow. He’s tied her up. He thinks she can’t get away, does he? Perhaps he does, but I’ve an idea. I’ll tie him to this monkey instead. I’ll slip up to him silently so that he doesn’t hear me, and then tie the monkey to him. There, that’s done. Very neatly. I say, when I said I’d arrange a good match for you that was not quite the truth. What I meant was that I would take you home with me. I want you for always. Yes, forever and ever. So let’s get away from here at once. Quick now. Ah, hurrah! That’s splendid.
(They run off.)
BLINDMAN: I want another drink. Here! Pour it out! Here, wife! Why don’t you answer? I suppose you’re angry because I tied you up. Now, come along.
MONKEY: Kya-aa, kya-aa!
BLINDMAN: Oh, how painful! What d’you mean by scratching me like that, you bad woman!
MONKEY: Kya-aa, kya-aa!
BLINDMAN: Oh! How awful! My wife’s grown fur and turned into a monkey! Oh, what shall I do?
MONKEY: Kya-aa, kya-aa!
BLINDMAN: Ow! Let me go you beast!
Footnote
* Jap. Kōtō. There were originally two ranks of Master Blind-men, Kengyo and Kōtō, which were instituted by the Emperor Kokaku in 1547, for blindmen of superior attainments such as musicians and scholars. Later on in the Muromachi era this was increased to four, Kengyo, Betto, Kōtō, and Zato, this last term being commonly used to denote all Master Blindmen. There was also So-Kengyo or Chief Kengyo, chief of all the Master Blindmen of one district.
THE STONE GOD
WIFE: I am the wife of a fellow who is a great drunkard, and when he is in his cups he often beats me. I am very sorry, but I am quite tired of him, so I am leaving him and running away home, but first of all I am going to see the man who was the Go-between when I was married, to tell him all about it, and then I shall go home to my people. It is very unfortunate to have a husband like this, but I suppose it was my fate, though I much regret leaving him after living together for so long. Well, here we are. Hullo there! Are you at home?
GO-BETWEEN: Hullo! Someone is at the door. Who is it?
WIFE: It is I who has come.
GO-BETWEEN: Oh, I am glad to see you. What is the matter?
WIFE: It is about my husband. He is always drunk, and often beats me when he is in his cups, so I have made up my mind to leave him. He is sure to come here to inquire about me, so when he comes, tell him I have been to see you and told you that I am tired of him and wish to leave him, and I am going to perform the Kagura* before a Stone God every day. I won’t have any reconciliation, for I can’t bear him any longer!
GO-BETWEEN: Well, I am very sorry to hear it, but what you say seems quite reasonable. So if he should come here I will tell him what you say, so pray set your mind at ease.
WIFE: That is very kind of you. Please do so. As you can imagine, it is not at all pleasant for me to go away like this. Well, I must be going now. Good-bye.
GO-BETWEEN: Good-bye.
WIFE: Ah, how sad it is to part after living together like this! And now I will go on home.
HUSBAND: I am a man of these parts, and my wife is now a Miko who goes round praying. When I was in my cups I said something or other she did not like, and so she ran away home. No doubt she went to the Go-between who arranged our marriage on her way, so I am just going to see him and make inquiries. Really women are great fools! Fancy taking anything seriously that I said when I was in liquor, and then running away! How stupid! Well, here we are. Hullo there! Is anyone in?
GO-BETWEEN: Who’s there?
HUSBAND: It is I who have come.
GO-BETWEEN: Pleased to see you. And what can I do for you?
HUSBAND: Oh, it is nothing particular, but I had a few words with my wife, and she has run away from me, and as she has no doubt been here, I should be glad if you can tell me anything you know about her.
GO-BETWEEN: Ah, indeed? I am very sorry to hear that. I haven’t seen her myself, but I have heard on the quiet that she is tired of you and has run away, and that she is going every day to perform Kagura before a Stone God and pray that she may be quit of you.
HUSBAND: Oh indeed, is that so? Then I will go to the Stone God and meet her there, and see if I cannot make it up with her and bring her home.
GO-BETWEEN: Yes, that is right. Do so as quickly as you can.
HUSBAND: Yes, I will. I’ll be off now.
GO-BETWEEN: Good luck.
HUSBAND: Ha, I have a good idea! She goes to this Stone God every day, so I’ll get myself up as the Stone God, and then I’ll give forth an oracle. Ah, here we are. I’ll just prepare myself before she comes.
WIFE: Well, I’ll go and pray to the god as usual. If I go and pray like this every day, I am sure to get rid of that husband of mine. Now I will begin my Kagura.
HUSBAND: Chō-yō! Guard us from all harm! Guard us from all harm and give us long life! Far out in the offing there is another stone. It is the seat of Ebisu, the God of Good Fortune!
WIFE: Why, if that isn’t that husband of mine! You rascal! To get yourself up like a god and try and deceive me! What do you mean by it?
HUSBAND: No, no, it’s nothing. Please forgive everything and come home again. Do, please!
WIFE: I won’t! I won’t come back whatever you say! I mean it! I’ll not forgive you!
HUSBAND: Oh, do please!
Footnote
* Sacred dance.
HANA-KO
DAIMYO: Is the Kwaja* there?
KWAJA: At your service, my lord.
DAIMYO: If I don’t go and see Hana-ko she will think it strange, and hold me fickle, will she not?
KWAJA: She certainly will, my lord.
DAIMYO: Well, there is something I want you to do for me, as I am going to visit her tonight.
KWAJA: Oh, there is some new duty for me, is there? I am at your command, as always, my lord.
DAIMYO: Ah, that’s good. You see I have just hoodwinked the old lady so that I can get off. I have told her that I am going to sit in meditation for seventeen days, so she must not come near me all that time, for I wish to be undisturbed, and I have got her to consent. So I shall go off to see Hana-ko, and smooth out some of my wrinkles. Now what I want you to do is to sit down covered up in this Cloak of Meditation until I come back, and if the old lady should come in, whatever she may say you must remain covered up without uttering a word, and not show your face on any account. D’you understand?
KWAJA: That’ll be a pretty troublesome job. The mistress will just about kill me if she does find out who it is. Really I don’t think I can do it.
DAIMYO: You don’t think you can do it? What? Are you more afraid of your mistress than you are of me? Sit up! I’ll cut your head off
!
KWAJA: Oh, please wait a moment, my lord! I’m more afraid of you than of the mistress! I’ll do as you wish, whatever happens.
DAIMYO: Indeed? You’re sure?
KWAJA: Certainly I will. Why should I tell you a lie?
DAIMYO: Well, well; you’re a good fellow, and I like you very much. I didn’t really mean anything; it was only because I wanted to see Hana-ko so much. So I trust you to manage it all. Now let me see you put on this Cloak of Meditation. There; so. That’s better. Now I’ll be off. Be sure you don’t utter a word! Farewell. I won’t be long.
KWAJA: Pray come back soon, my lord!
DAIMYO: All right. Be careful!
KWAJA: My lord! If I might presume so far, would you be kind enough to remember me to the maid Kogai, if you should see her when you visit her mistress?
DAIMYO: Oh, certainly. And next time I will take you with me so that you can see her yourself; so that will be a treat for you to look forward to.
KWAJA: Ah, what a kind master!
DAIMYO: Now I must hurry off to Hana-ko. How delightful!
LADY: My lord has declared that he will sit in meditation for seventeen days, and will not even take a bath all that time, as he wishes to be left quite alone; but I think he is much to be pitied, and though he has told me not to come and see him during this period, I cannot bear to leave him in that state, so I will just go and take a peep at him. Dear me! To be muffled up in that cloak must be very uncomfortable. I say! What Sutra can you need at your age? A young man like you! Your life doesn’t depend on it, so wouldn’t you like me to bring you something or other? Ah, he makes no answer. He only sits like that, all muffled up! You had better take that thing off a moment. I’m sure it won’t matter. Well, I’ll do it myself.
KWAJA: Oh dear! Pardon me! Pray pardon me!