“I’ll be back. That I promise,” he whispered and kissed her again.
She watched from an upper window as they rode off into the unknown for she had no idea where he was going or when he would return and she felt very lonely now and she could see dark clouds in the distance closing in. It would be a stormy night. It seemed as if she was the only one left at Berwyck now however her heart was full of delights. This wonderful man loved her and wanted to marry her. But who was he? These thoughts replayed in her mind all afternoon and nothing it seemed could disturb her dream world where she sat in the library. She dusted off some books and placed them back on the shelf carefully. The she picked up another and flicked through its thick gold leafed pages. It was a beautiful literary specimen with a gold Celtic design on the cover and she quickly placed it down at the sound of footsteps approaching in the hallway. Her father appeared in the doorway and smiled softly before sitting down next to her.
She closed the book in her hand and placed it on the table. “Father, what brings you here? How you must be worried. If there is anything I can do father let me know.”
“Merry, your sweet smile is enough. I’m glad you are here.”
“Thank you sir.”
“Love is a mystery my dear Merry. It should always entice and draw you in. You should live a life full of excitement and adventure always chasing the mystery but pity the day you solve the mystery for then there is nothing left to solve.”
“Father, why are you telling me this?”
“Because marriage is like that. It should always have an element of mystery in it. Something about your life partner that you need to solve. I believe it keeps the romance fresh and alive.”
“Of course, father,” she replied reluctantly. Why did he suddenly bring up the subject of marriage? Had Carwyn said something to him?
“Merry, you once asked me about your betrothal,the man that I had chosen for you, and I never got to tell you as I was interrupted with important issues at the time and then I forgot. Please forgive me.”
“That’s all right father. I understand,” she replied. “You have much on your mind.”
“Well, I just wanted to tell you about it.”
“Of course. I’d love to know,” she said with keen interest.
“Well, you see. When you were a girl, I was concerned about these matters. Even then I wondered who would I marry my daughter to and I was approached by a dear old friend a distant cousin who was also thinking the same for his son and so we formed an agreement at that stage that the two of you should be married. I kept the knowledge of this from you firstly, because of your age and secondly because of his position.”
“Position?” Merry questioned. Why should position matter, she wondered.
“Yes, and he would come here often as you were growing up and watch you from a distance as you were younger than him. He seemed intrigued by you. He’d watch you playing with your brothers in the gardens or he’d listen to you learning to play the lyre. One time, he even commented on your dress and how pretty you looked. I think you were besotted for the rest of the day.”
“Really? I don’t remember that, father.”
“I think it devastated him when you ran off as he waited a long time for you.”
“I’m sorry father. I was very young and immature. I obviously did not deserve him. Who was he?”
Her father was extremely silent for several moments to the point it began to bother her and she looked up into his grey eyes and saw the mystery in them. It was a vague sort of mystery that she had often seen in Carwyn’s eyes. “The man I betrothed you to was . . . King Edward.”
Merry froze with shock. “King Edward? Father! Surely you can’t be serious!”
“I’m quite serious,” he replied.
“Oh father,” said Merry. She realized suddenly what an awful thing she had done running away. “How am I ever to live with myself knowing I have brought such disappointment, such shame to my dear family. Forgive me,” she pleaded in a grievous tone.
“You are forgiven. I was partly to blame. You should have been informed of these plans but you were young. And all is not lost.”
“What do you mean?”
“King Edward has never married. And he is still willing to honour the betrothal. He will return soon and he wishes to have you as a bride.”
“Is he really alive then?”
“Of course,” replied her father.
“How do you know he would still have me?”
“I received a message from him. He has informed me of his intentions.”
“Of course,” was all she said.
Her father stood to his feet and looked down at her. “You will marry the king and you will be Queen Meridyth.” He smiled again with approval and she watched as her father left the room and she was suddenly drawn down to a place of despair and disappointment. It was all too good to be true. She had finally fallen in love and now that too would be taken from her. She would have to marry King Edward upon his return. There would be no way out of it this time.
Chapter Twenty
Visit at Night
Merry ran to her room as soon as her father was gone and she threw herself on the bed and cried. Despair filled the room like an unwanted guest with waves of turbulent regret. Why did this have to happen and especially after she thought she had finally found love? Nothing in all the world could have made her feel lower than she did at that moment as her heart sank deeper into despair like an ocean with no bottom. The joy that had been so real in her grasp had suddenly turned to ash in her hands. Feelings of hopelessness clawed at her like a vicious animal and her heart felt as if it would burst from its cavity for sheer desperation. There was a storm raging around Berwyck that night and the wind blew against her window with intensity rattling branches and shaking the shutters. The storm in her mind was just as dreadful that she never heard a door close nor the soft footsteps that approached her bedside.
“Lady Meridyth,” spoke a soft voice. She looked up from her place of darkness to a sweet angelic face looking down at her. It was Agnes with a pile of linen in her arms. She dropped it onto a nearby chair when she heard the sniffles and sobs and she knew this was very much unlike Lady Meridyth. “Mi’ lady? Are you alright?”
“Fine,” she sobbed without looking up.
“Shall I fetch your mother?”
“No, please don’t. There is nothing she can do for me.”
Agnes fumbled with her hands nervously and she sat on the bed next to Merry. “You’re not well. What ails you?”
Merry sat up rubbing her tear stained eyes and flicking back her long dark hair. “My father just told me that he has organized a marriage for me.”
“Really?” said Agnes. “To that suave Lord Carwyn?” she guessed for she had seen them together several times and saw how easily they could talk to one another.
“No, not him at all, but I wish it was him. He is the one I want to marry. I suddenly feel like I am reliving a nightmare from years ago.”
“Who did your father pick for you, if you don’t mind me asking? Surely your father would approve of Lord Carwyn? He is a very honourable man.”
Merry sighed deeply and looked up with weary eyes. “King Edward.”
“Oh,” said Agnes in bewilderment.
“You see, it’s not as though I can go to my father and say please break the betrothal, I’m in love with Edmund. It would be a great dishonour to my father if he said no and in fact I’ve already caused him enough trouble the first time when I ran away. There is no backing out of it this time. How on earth will I ever tell Edmund?”
Merry was in great distress to the point she stayed in her room all that day and night and the next day she would not leave her room either nor the day after that. And on the third day her mother went to visit her. Merry was lying in bed when the door burst open and she could hear a mixture of voices and Agnes walked in and curtsied. “Your mother, mi’lady.”
“Oh this is dreadful Agnes, move this
,” said her mother when she walked in the room and spotted a pile of books on the desk.”
“No,” Merry protested and sat up. “Just leave it. It’s alright.”
Her mother lifted a brow in protest and Merry sighed. “Just put them in the wardrobe. I’ll deal with it later.”
“Of course, mi’lady,” said Agnes and she quickly shifted the books and her mother took a seat in a chair by her bed. “What is wrong my dear?” she asked and she placed the back of her hand against Merry’s cheek.
“Nothing mother.”
“You’ve been in your room for three days.”
“I don’t feel very well but I’m sure I’m not dying. I’ll be fine.”
“Hmmm . . . I’ve never known you to take to bed when sick. Perhaps I should send for a physician,” her mother suggested.
“No mother, I don’t need a physician. All I need is rest.”
“You aren’t used to being alone at Berwyck.”
“I’m not alone Mother. There are lots of people here.
“Perhaps you miss the attention of Edmund Carwyn.”
Merry looked up at her surprised. Why would her mother say such a thing? Surely she was well aware that her father intended to see her wed to King Edward. “Why should I desire his attention more than anyone else’s? Truly mother, I’m fine.”
“Perhaps Gwendolyn has been gone too long. Would you feel better if I sent for her?”
Merry didn’t know what to say for if Gwen was truly in resent of the journey it would be a good opportunity to free her from such a situation however if Gwen was enjoying herself she wouldn’t want to take her away too early. “I don’t know mother. I think all I need is rest.”
“Anyway, I have news that will cheer you.”
“Really?”
“Yes, Lord Carwyn and Lord Crew have returned. Surely you will join us for dinner.”
Merry cringed. “Mother I really am not well enough to come downstairs yet. I will be alright though. I just need to be left alone.”
“Hmmm,” said her mother with a disappointed look. “Very well. Agnes, you must stay with her and I want to know of any change in her condition instantly.”
“Yes mi’lady.”
Edmund waited with anticipation for Merry to come downstairs and join them for lunch but she did not and he waited all afternoon but there was no sign of her. And he saw her mother head in the direction of her room. Why would she not come down? He was most anxious to see her lovely smile and kiss her sweet lips.
“No sign of her?” said Crew as he walked in the room and sat down.
“No,” said Carwyn. “It’s very unlike her.”
At that moment Lord and Lady Godwyn walked in the room and sat down followed by Gilbert. “I’m sorry sir,” said Lady Godwyn. “My daughter will not be joining us for dinner. She is unwell and has been these last few days.”
“Unwell?” said Carwyn leaning forward with alarm. “What’s wrong? Is it a virus?’
“I don’t know, but she insists on staying in her room.”
“Has a physician seen her?”
“She refuses anyone, sir,” said Lady Godwyn. “She’s always been a stubborn girl.”
“I will call for my own physician,” said Carwyn.
“That would be dangerous,” said Lord Godwyn.
“Yes, I suppose, but if she gets any worse it will be worth the risk.”
Merry stayed in her room all the next day and Carwyn slipped a note into the hand of her maid, Agnes as they passed each other on the stairs that morning and he purposely waited in the hallway shadows for the opportune moment to approach her and when he saw her heading upstairs he made a move to the stairway.. “Take this to Lady Meridyth, please.”
“Yes sir,” she replied and took the letter from his hand. Then he carried on down the stairs and she went directly to Meridyth’s room and went inside and Merry was in bed reading.
“How are you today?”
“Alright, I guess.”
“Anyway, I have something for you.”
“Really?”
Agnes smiled and put the letter in her hand and then she excused herself and left the room so Merry could read it on her own.
Merry carefully opened the letter and started reading. It read.
My Beloved Meridyth,
I was sorry to hear that you are not well but even more sorry for myself because I cannot indulge my eyes in your beauty or taste your lovely sweet lips on mine. How I’ve missed you these last few days and only to return and find that you are unwell. It’s dull at night without your constant challenges and I look forward to the day we can be one. That glorious day we stand at the altar of God and commit our love...
“Oh, how tragic,” she cried and folded the letter and put it in her book. His words that were once sweet and delicious to her ear had now become like a sour regret for she knew that she could not have him and there was nothing she could do to change things.
And that night she could not sleep knowing he was near and her thoughts were on him and she tossed and turned. Nothing seemed to be going right. Her sister’s had gone away, the kingdom was falling apart and now she would be prevented from being with the one and only man she had ever loved. She sat up in dismay and looked outside and the moon was casting a silver glow over the countryside and it seemed almost magical as if the land was under some enchantment and she prayed a quiet prayer. “Oh Lord, please make a way for Eddy and I can be together. It seems so impossible, but you are the God of the impossible.” At that moment there was a thud outside her window and the branches of the great oak were scratching against the shutters. Merry got out of her bed and went over to the window. She pushed back the shutters and to her amazement Edmund Carwyn jumped inside.
“Eddy! What on earth are you doing?”
“This,” he replied as he pulled her into his arms and kissed her passionately. After a few moments he released her but still had his arms wrapped around her. “You don’t look sick to me.”
“I’m getting better,” she replied.
“What is it? What’s wrong? I find it hard to believe that even sickness could stop Meridyth Godwyn in her tracks.”
“Oh Eddy, it’s all just a mess! I mean I will tell you but it’s not of my doing and I can’t do anything about it.”
“About what?” he asked. “Please tell me.”
“It wasn’t long after you left that my father took me aside and told me that he had made a betrothal for me.”
“Oh,” said Carwyn and Merry noticed he didn’t seem too surprised. In fact he seemed somewhat relaxed about the matter and this puzzled Merry.
“Yes, he said it was an arrangement he made with King Edward and he still wishes to honour it and there is clearly nothing I can do about it. I can’t run away again. I have already dishonoured my family once. I couldn’t do such a thing again.” She was clearly beside herself with worry.
Carwyn took her hand and kissed it. “There now Merry don’t fret.” He seemed confident and assured as he spoke. “Everything will work out fine. Just have faith.”
“Faith? For what? That Edward will withdraw his request to have me as a wife. Perhaps he’ll change his mind. Maybe marry some nice little wench on the way back.”
Edmund laughed at her humour. “No, not that but I just believe that it will all work out for us in spite of the obstacles. Somehow providence will provide for us.”
“You seem very sure but somehow I can’t see that at the moment,” she said honestly. Why was he so damn confident, she wondered? Not a fret or a tear in his eyes. She had been crying for three days. Merry suddenly remembered something he had told her recently. He said he had come ahead to England to prepare the return of King Edward. Did he perhaps know about this betrothal? Did he know something she didn’t? “Not long ago you said a go that you came here to prepare the return of King Edward.”
“Yes, that’s correct.’
“Did you know about this marriage arrangement between him and my father
?” He paused for a moment and his face went pale. Meridyth was not lacking in wisdom and understanding of events. She had a clever mind. Why did he hesitate went through her mind several times. “You did know about it?”
“Alright I knew,” he replied.
“And yet, you allowed this to happen between us!”
His hands released her. “Allowed it? How does one stop love? How does one control a flood? Can you stop its raging currents from spilling over the land? No! I couldn’t control my feelings for you. It took me by surprise. In fact I expected to feel the opposite towards you after everything I had heard and I’m sure you noticed my coldness when I first met you.”
“I’m sorry Eddy. I’m just very upset by all of this.”
“I’m sorry too. I didn’t expect such a question.” He pulled her close and kissed her on the lips softly. “Now don’t worry. It will all work out. Have faith. But I must go before someone should discover me.” Then he kissed her forehead gently. “I expect to see you downstairs tomorrow morning.” Then he climbed back out the window. “Sweet dreams angel.”
Merry felt somewhat more at peace with herself now that Edmund knew about her betrothal but she still could not see how it could possibly work out. This wasn’t just any man they could buy off and provide another bride for. This was the king of England and he was returning soon to take back his throne and marry her!
The following day Merry was trying to think of reasons why the king would not want her and she whispered quietly to Edmund upon reaching the library after breakfast. “Perhaps I could think of ways to get King Edward to dislike me.” She carefully looked around to make sure Lord Crewe and Sir Blackley had not heard her.
“What do you mean?” asked Carwyn with a whimsical glow. What feather brained idea did she have now?”
“I could tell him I have some horrible contagious illness.”
Carwyn laughed and grinned at her. “You think so.”
“Yes, or I could . . . send him a message that I’m really ugly. I mean look at my scar. We could tell him I’m horribly scarred.”
Kingdom of Dragons Page 19