Whiskey and Regret

by Danielle James

  “Of course. Come on.” Once we were inside, I tipped my head down a little and said, “None of these bitches are bothering you, are they? I’m not above fighting a child.”

  Frankie giggled into her hand then shook her head. “No. I just don’t always feel…I don’t know…connected?”

  “You feel lonely?” Once again, the kid reminded me of myself when I was her age. I was always so far ahead of my peers academically that I felt isolated. My parents made sure I went to a private school with the best educational opportunities but I still managed to alienate myself by being me.

  “I guess that’s a better word. I’m not sad or anything. I do have friends. I don’t want you telling my dad I’m depressed and lonely or anything like that. I just have a tough time connecting to people sometimes. Even my friends.” She gave me a nonchalant shrug and I wrapped my arm around her shoulders.

  “You clicked with me pretty fast. I mean I know I’m amazing and all but that goes to show that people like us aren’t unable to make or keep friends. We’re just picky about who we let in.” I tapped the tip of her nose then smiled.

  “Yes! That’s exactly it. See, I knew you’d get me, Xari. Thank you.” She started to walk away then she stopped mid-step and turned to rush me with a hug before disappearing down the hall.

  Did all kids make you feel warm and fuzzy inside? I was willing to bet money that it was just Frankie. She was an awesome kid. It had to just be her. I’d interacted with plenty of other kids and none of them were as chill as her.

  When I got back to Senator Stick In The Mud, he was still leaning against the car but this time he was scrolling through his phone. I took a moment to watch the way the sun washed his caramel skin in light, making him glow. If I were playing a video game, this man was lit up like a special quest I had to take.

  “Okay, all done and dropped off,” I smiled. He jerked his stare to mine.

  “Was she okay? Did she get to class alright?”

  “Mr. Freeman, your kid knows how to get to her classes. This isn’t her first day.”

  “I know but I like to make sure, you know? You can never be too sure. All kinds of stuff can happen and…”

  “She’s fine,” I assured him. We both got in the backseat even though there was a perfectly good passenger seat up front.

  “I can’t believe she asked you to walk her inside,” he chuckled. “I haven’t gotten that invite since she was in elementary school.”

  “Oh, it’s because I’m cool. You’re not.” I eyed his suit and perfectly shined wingtips. No, a school full of kids couldn’t appreciate the attention to detail Mr. Freeman had. They didn’t understand the fact that his cufflinks matched his pocket square, which purposefully didn’t match his socks so he wasn’t too over the top. I saw it though.

  “Oh, so you’re cool and I’m not?”

  “See, this is why you’re the senator and you get paid all the money.” I patted the back of his hand and he stiffened. “Oh my god, you act like I pulled out my titty or something. I touched your hand. Chill out.”

  “You and this mouth of yours. We’ll talk about how you should behave around a child when we get back to the house.”

  “Yes sir, Mr. Senator, sir.” I gave him a faux salute.

  “Okay, I get it. You think I’m rigid. Wouldn’t be the first time that assumption has been made.”

  “Is it a wrong assumption?” I folded my arms across my chest and looked at him for an answer.

  “It is. You should never judge a book by its cover, Miss Lucas. You don’t know what stories are inside.” His eyes fixed on mine and I squirmed in my seat.

  “I think covers tell what’s inside of a book pretty well. Unless the book is misrepresented.” Mr. Freeman looked at me for a few beats while the driver pulled into the driveway of his impressive house.

  “Come on,” he said, getting out of the car. When he left, the air smelled different. He punctuated the entire space with his energy. His scent. My throat tightened when I stepped out of the opened door and into the warm spring air.

  “Oh, and I’ll need you to push Frankie’s schedule to her mother, Alexis every other week.”

  “Your ex-wife,” I said, remembering the big news story about him getting divorced two years ago.

  “Yes.” He looked at me then back at his phone. I looked down at his phone too since he was so into it. He was texting Navy.

  “So, you’re a single dad in the senate. That has to be a first.”

  “I’m not a single dad. Alexis is very much involved in Frankie’s life. We co-parent. I happen to have full custody.”

  “Right. So, you want me to be in contact with Frankie’s mom?” I pulled out my phone and opened the Notes app to keep track of everything Mr. Freeman told me. He paused in his rapid-fire talking and eyed me. Mr. Darling Dick sure did do a lot of silent watching. I couldn’t decide if I liked it or not. It made my skin prickle.

  “Taking notes is a good idea. I thought you’d be highly irresponsible and wouldn’t impress me at all today but between the way you connect with Frankie and your willingness to learn new things, I think you’ll do fine here.”

  “Irresponsible?” The word burned my ears. It made me think about the careless way I’d been with my finances and how it forced my parents to cut me off.

  “Yeah. You don’t seem like…”

  “Navy?” I smirked knowingly. “I’m not like her. I’m the polar opposite. If Navy is daytime all sunny and clear. Then I’m nighttime. Uncertain and shadowy. I’m also all about bringing out the freaks.” I winked at him and he sighed heavily before shaking his head.

  “We need to talk about the way you behave around Frankie. She loves your extroverted, outgoing personality but I see the potential for you to be a bad influence. If you’re going to be her nanny, you need to watch your mouth around her. Not just regarding curse words but the things you say period.”

  “Oh my god, like what?”

  “You’re all about bringing out the freaks?” He lifted an eyebrow and I laughed.

  “I was talking to you though. Not Frankie. We’re two grown-ass adults.”

  “You are twenty. I’m forty-three. Big difference.”

  “We’re both grown like I said.”

  “See, that’s the shit I’m talking about.”

  I stopped grinning and turned the corners of my mouth down. I was impressed.

  “Who knew the senator had a little fire in him?”

  “You’re going to get under my skin. I can see that. Anyway, that’s what I’m talking about, Miss Lucas.” My name sounded like a starched collar coming from his lips. “When you’re around Frankie, you need to set an example. You can’t talk about freaks or snap at me like I’m your friend and not your boss. I expect you to have a professional attitude around both me and my daughter. It’s a part of your job description.”

  “Will I get a copy of this job description?” I quizzed, angling my head to the side.

  “Yes. Of course.”

  “Good. God knows I wouldn’t want to ever step outside of my job description.” I laid the sarcasm on thick like whipped cream made from scratch. The cherry on top was my saccharine smile. I’m sure he knew it was bullshit. I could tell by the way his top lip curled. He really did have some nice lips. Too bad he had darling dick energy instead of devil dick like I needed. A girl could fantasize though.

  …

  SIX

  “Senator Freeman, the arts funding bill is on your desk for review. Your vote is required by the end of the day. Also, the committee needs to meet with you to discuss bill 342.” Navy Lucas was nothing like her sister. She was pulled together and on top of everything. Sometimes I had no idea how she knew the things she knew, but she had a knack for finding things out. Navy was someone I needed to keep on my team. That’s why I hired her when my former assistant left after giving birth to a little boy.

  “Thank you, Navy.”

  “No problem. Um, can I ask how my sister did this morning? I�
��m sorry if I’m being intrusive but…”

  “It’s fine,” I chuckled. “She did well. I let her pick Frankie up from school today as a trial run. If things go well, she’ll enter the one-month probationary period.”

  A bright smile stretched across Navy’s light brown face. She looked like her sister but she didn’t have that spark I saw in Xari.

  Looking at Xari Lucas was like looking through a peephole and seeing a fire. You knew once you opened the door…you’d be consumed. I wanted to stay locked behind my door looking at Miss Lucas through the limited view of my peephole.

  “I know she’s a lot to take in at once but I promise she’s not that bad once you get to know her.” Navy clasped her hands in front of herself and smiled. “She didn’t do anything crazy, did she?”

  “Besides her foul mouth and her need to get under my skin by challenging me? No. Nothing crazy. Now, what is your definition of crazy as it concerns your sister? Is there anything else I need to know about?”

  “Xari’s level of crazy fluctuates and it’s never the same from one week to the next. She’s super…emotional. Everything is tied to that. It’s like she has no filter.”

  “I’ve noticed. Frankie likes her a lot. I’ve never seen her connect with anyone so easily.”

  “I knew she would love Xari. I hope things work out.”

  “Yeah, me too.” I watched Navy as she left my office and went into the hall. Apollo stood outside my door and she was the only reason he looked away from his phone. He trailed her for a few seconds until she got back to her desk, then went back to his phone.

  When Navy first came to work for me a year ago, I thought there would be trouble with having a beautiful young woman as my assistant. Luckily, Navy was nothing short of an exemplary professional. Also, as beautiful as she was, Navy and I had no spark. I counted myself blessed because lord knows I have a soft spot for gorgeous, well-dressed women. That’s exactly why Xari was such a problem. Luckily, I was turned off by how young she was.

  …

  I checked the clock at 3:30 when Frankie got out of school and waited for her to call or text. She knew that was a rule and I purposefully didn’t tell Xari because I wanted to see how responsible my daughter could be around the new nanny. I hoped that Frankie would see and respect Miss Lucas as an adult and not a best friend.

  At 3:35, my phone rang with a Facetime call from Frankie. When I answered it, Xari’s face came into view. Full lips painted matte red, impossibly long eyelashes, and a smattering of copper freckles sprinkled across the bridge of her nose and cheeks. Her regal cheekbones were highlighted with something golden that made her look ethereal.

  Ethereal?

  Van, snap the fuck out of it.

  “Hi, Mr. Freeman,” she chirped. Her voice was softer than her personality. That was for damn sure. “Um, what time was I supposed to pick Frankie up?”

  “What do you mean? You have her phone, why don’t you have her?”

  “Well, don’t panic but…” Her big espresso brown eyes shifted from left to right, making my chest tighten. What the hell happened to my daughter?

  “But what?” My voice exploded.

  “I’m playing with you. I picked her up on time.” She stuck her pink tongue out at me then handed the phone to Frankie. I pressed my hand to my chest then rubbed my temple.

  “Frankie, don’t play games like that, okay?”

  “Daddy, it was funny. Calm down.” She was nearly doubled over with laughter. I loved the way her eyes lit up but I wasn’t with the fuck shit her and Xari were playing. I was serious about my child.

  “Calm down? You think playing about your safety is funny?” I glared into the phone. I caught a glimpse of myself in the smaller box at the top of my screen and realized how much I looked like my father when I made that face. I forced my muscles to relax. “Hand the phone to Miss Lucas.”

  “Uh oh, am I in trouble?” I could tell by the mischief in her eyes that she was being sarcastic. She had a fucking talent for it and it ate away at my nerves every time. Why couldn’t she just be normal?

  “Miss Lucas, I don’t find your little joke funny. Don’t do it again. You’ll be lucky if you’re still an option for the position by the time I get home.” The casual smile dropped from her face and she narrowed her eyes enough for me to know I had her attention but not enough for it to come off as disrespect.

  “Are you serious?” She scoffed.

  “Very. Hand the phone back to my child.” The moment Frankie’s annoyed face popped on screen I heaved a sigh. “I will talk to you about this when I get home.”

  “Okay, Daddy.” She ended the call and I let the phone clatter to my desk. I knew dealing with one preteen would be tough but Xari was turning out to be preteen number two.

  “Hey, Senator Freeman, I’m gone for the day. Is there anything I can do for you before I go?”

  “Your day was over pretty fast,” Apollo said. He’d been sitting just inside my office in the chair when Navy walked in.

  “Yeah, I have a dentist appointment.” She kept smiling at him like she wanted him to say something else to her…anything else. He turned his gaze back to his work phone though after grunting a response. She fluttered her long lashes like she was trying to regain composure then looked at me.

  “No, I don’t need anything, Navy. Thank you.”

  “No problem and thank you for giving Xari a chance. I know this isn’t the place to talk about my sister but I wanted to say thank you again.”

  “Don’t worry about it. Go head to your dentist's appointment.”

  “Okay. Bye, Senator Freeman. Goodbye, Apollo.”

  “Goodbye,” Apollo said sternly, never deviating from his usual gruffness. I noticed her linger again like she wanted him to say something else. Was he blind? Navy liked him and he damn sure liked her. Okay, well it was as close to liking anyone as I’d ever seen Apollo come. He let her walk down the hall without saying another word. He watched her until she stepped on the elevator though.

  “Why haven’t you asked her out yet, Apollo?” I sighed.

  “Who? Navy?” He let out a dry sound that was meant to be a chuckle. It was a sorry excuse. Apollo didn’t laugh. He was essentially stone in the shape of a man. He was still one of my closest friends. When he wasn’t on duty, we talked. He helped me maintain my emotions during the divorce. Apollo was a master at masking emotions. Maybe to his own detriment.

  “Yeah, Navy. You keep looking at her every time she comes into the room…out of the room…across the room.”

  “I do not. Besides, I’m on duty. I look at anyone coming in your direction. That’s not reserved for Navy.”

  “Yeah, okay. You better make your move, man. She’s beautiful. She won’t be single forever.” He seemed to ponder my words before placing a shield of ice over his face again.

  I pulled out my home laptop. I figured since Navy was gone for the day, she probably cleared most of my schedule. That meant I could get some much-needed writing in. I was one chapter away from finishing my fifth novel. I usually got in two chapters a day. Sometimes more, sometimes less but I had to always get at least two in. If I skipped writing, my day didn’t feel right.

  Writing was my true passion. I didn’t care for politics but I knew my father wouldn’t let me be anything other than a senator. I saw the ambition in his eyes. He wanted me to be president too. I loathed the idea.

  I knew writing was my calling ever since I was in middle school. We had a writing assignment to create a fantasy story. I went home and write my first novella. It was effortless. It made me buzz. It made my brain hurt. It made me proud.

  I never felt proud signing or sponsoring a bill. I knew it was a necessary evil, so I did it but nothing about it made me sing with pride the way writing did. I couldn’t put on 90’s hip hop and zone out while I reviewed laws. I couldn’t pour myself a glass of whiskey and relax while I had a meeting about legislation.

  My mouth watered at the thought of whiskey. Jameson preferably
. It was how I drowned out the irritation of the day and how I welcomed the relaxation that came with writing.

  “Are you almost done with it?” Apollo nodded toward my computer and I smiled.

  “One more chapter then the epilogue, man.”

  “I want a copy on my phone by morning, Van.”

  “You got it,” I laughed.

  I started writing, put my calls on hold, and didn’t look up until it was time for me to go home. I only knew it was time to go home because Apollo cleared his throat and when I looked up, he pointed to his watch.

  I hit save on my open document then closed the laptop and slipped it back into its leather case. I wanted to get home in time to have a serious talk with Frankie. If Miss Lucas managed to stay for the entire day, I’d talk to her as well.

  When I walked in, I heard giggling and low talking. I smelled something savory and amazing. I went into the den and looked at the scene in front of me. Two dark heads of hair tilted together. One head sporting a fluffy, coily puff and the other flaunting a sleek and tamed bun.

  They were looking at something on one of their phones. Frankie’s laughter popped out bright and colorful against the background. Her head full of fluffy curls bounced up. She was the first to notice me. Her stare was wide and curious as she nudged Miss Lucas and pointed at me.

  “Oh, hey.” Xari stood up and walked over to me. “Can we talk in the kitchen? I can show you what I made for dinner.”

  “You made dinner?” I laughed, following her into the kitchen. My eyes took an involuntary trip to her perfect ass. I jerked my gaze up. I refused to be hypnotized by a twenty-year-old’s ass. Fuck that.

  “I did. I told you I knew how to cook.” She’d told me that she could cook this morning but I didn’t believe her. Xari struck me as the type of person that wasn’t above lying to get her way. Maybe I had her pegged wrong.

  “What did you make, Miss Lucas?” I sat my briefcase down in an empty chair at the kitchen island and stood at the stove.

  “Well, you guys had shrimp in the freezer, so I made shrimp and grits. The real kind with the sauce, peppers, and Andouille sausage.” My stomach started growling the minute she said shrimp. Judging by the smell of the food, she knew her way around the kitchen.