Whiskey and Regret

by Danielle James

  “You’re not off the hook for that little stunt you pulled earlier.” I took the top off the silver pot and leaned over to smell the grits inside. They were perfect.

  “Okay, but you have to admit, it smells fucking amazing.” She hopped up on the counter and crossed her legs. I kept my eyes on hers and folded my arms across my chest.

  “Language, Miss Lucas.”

  “You don’t watch yours all the time, Mr. Freeman.” She cocked her head to the side and smirked at me.

  “I watch it all the time. Sometimes, when people get on my nerves and force me out of character, my language might slip.” I pulled down a bottle of Jameson whiskey then went for a glass. “Can you pass me the artisanal ice from the Subzero?” I watched quietly to see if she knew what I was talking about. She seemed to have the same knack as Navy for knowing things but she didn’t mask it with humility. Xari was proud of her knowledge.

  She hopped off the counter and swayed over to the freezer near the wine chiller. Did she have to walk like that? Every time she swayed her hips, I heard A Tribe Called Quest’s Bonita Applebum playing in my head.

  I was so wrapped up in her walk, I almost missed her grabbing the correct ice. “Oh, you keep yours in an ice chest. That’s cool. Do you have it delivered?”

  “I do. Weekly. You know about artisanal ice, Miss Lucas?” I couldn’t help smiling a little as she set the ice chest on the counter in front of me.

  “Can’t drink good whiskey or bourbon without it in my humble opinion. It gets your drink to the perfect temperature without diluting it because god knows I hate chasers.”

  “Is that right?” My smile broadened.

  “Yeah, they’re for bitches. Give it to me hard and straight.” My cock jumped at her words and the silky way they slipped out of her mouth. I cleared my throat and plucked a spherical piece of ice from the chest with my tongs.

  “Wait, wait, wait,” I said frowning at her. “You’re not twenty-one.”

  “Ooh. Are you going to call the cops on me? You can’t tell me you didn’t drink liquor until you were twenty-one, Senator.”

  “I…didn’t.” I tried my best to hold an impassive expression but I couldn’t help giving in to the smile cracking my exterior.

  “Bullshit, you were probably drunk as fuck when you hit eighteen.”

  “You’ll never know. Now, watch your mouth.” I aimed a finger at her and watched the corners of her mouth quirk up.

  “Yes, sir.”

  “Look, I know you were trying to have fun with Frankie earlier but can you refrain from making jokes about her safety? That’s my baby. She means the world to me and panicking like that for even a second feels like an eternity. We’ve gotten death threats before and shit like that puts me on edge.”

  For once, a somber look crossed Xari’s face. She pursed her lips together then nodded. “I’m sorry, Mr. Freeman. I wasn’t trying to scare you or anything. I thought I’d poke fun at you for thinking I was irresponsible.” She sucked in a quick breath then said, “Also, you cursed.”

  “I did not.”

  “You did. You said shit. I heard you. Stop acting like you don’t let loose.”

  “I never said I didn’t. It’s just not for you to see or experience.”

  “Yeah…okay,” she laughed, waving her hand. “I’m sure Senator Freeman is going to blow my mind with his crazy double life.”

  I kept my mouth shut and poured myself a glass of whiskey. I needed it. Xari regarded me for a few quiet seconds like she was trying to pick me apart but couldn’t.

  “Can you take it easy on Frankie about the whole not picking her up joke? I wanted to make her laugh. She was stressed after school and…”

  “Stressed? What happened? Why didn’t she anything to me about it?”

  “Probably because she knew you were pissed at her. Also, if I’m her nanny, I’m not telling you things about her that would break her trust in me. As long as she’s not doing anything to hurt herself or others, what we talk about is between us.” I was caught off-guard by her immovable stance.

  I took a long drink from my glass and let the brown liquor course through me. It was already working its magic, pushing away the events of the day. Pushing away the fact that I hated my job…the fact that I was trapped there. Whiskey always dulled the regrets storming my mind.

  “I don’t think my idea of what would hurt Frankie and your idea of what would hurt her are the same things. You might feel like sex before she’s grown and in a committed relationship wouldn’t hurt her but I’d beg to differ.”

  “Hey, you’ll never know,” she said tossing my own words back at me. “I’d never let her put herself or anyone else in danger. I do want her to be able to trust me though. If she thinks I’ll run back to tell you everything, she’ll hide things so even I can’t see them. Then I wouldn’t be able to let you know if she was actually doing something dangerous.”

  “I’ll let you have your privacy with her but if you know she’s thinking about having sex before she’s eighteen, you’ll tell me. That’s the deal.” I watched her hands turn to fists at her side. She scrunched her face into a frown then rolled her eyes.

  “Okay. Deal.”

  “Good because I’d like to offer you the job. You’ve impressed me. I like what I see.”

  I could have left off the part about liking what I saw but I had to let that small truth out. I definitely liked what I saw. I just had to avoid it at all costs.

  …

  SEVEN

  After Mr. Freeman told me I was hired as Frankie’s nanny for the month, I thought I’d feel relieved because I’d get a weekly paycheck. Instead, I was ecstatic that I’d get to hang out with Frankie every day. Seeing Mr. Freeman wasn’t bad either. He was nice eye candy. When I met with him and Navy to get paperwork, I found my eyes stroking his broad shoulders and hard chest. I hoped neither one of them noticed.

  “Okay, Xari you need to sign here on the NDA. This is a non-disclosure act stating you won’t talk openly about, publish, record, promote, or otherwise speak about what happens under Senator Freeman’s roof or in his personal life.”

  “Not even to you?” I asked, smirking at my sister.

  “Not even to me.” Navy continued going over the terms of the NDA while Mr. Freeman looked like he would pop a blood vessel or something. Hiring me was bothering him. I’d have to get him to relax again. When I saw him drink a glass of whiskey, I knew there was more to him than met the eye. He dressed with style and drank with it too. I wanted to dig deeper.

  Hell, if I was going to be working with the man and living with him, I might as well get to know him. We didn’t have to be friends but it’s always a good idea to learn people you’ll spend a great deal of time with.

  I signed the NDA because what choice did I have? I needed the paycheck. I was desperate to start making money so I could stand on my own two feet. The money my parents left in my account was dwindling and bills were piling up.

  I signed every paper put in front of me. By the time I was done, I had a place to stay, a car, plus free groceries and utilities. In turn, I’d get paid $1,000 every week. All I had to do was pay my bills with the money. I was finally free and independent. Good. I was tired of getting sarcasm from my parents every time I talked to them.

  “Welcome, Miss Lucas. I’m tentatively glad to have you on board for the next month.” Mr. Freeman shook my hand. When I looked down at his bright, shining cufflinks, I noticed an inky tip peeking from under his sleeve.

  Tattoos? On the senator? Interesting.

  “You’re expected to be moved in by next week so we can get Frankie acclimated to her new schedule and work out any kinks.”

  “Do you have a lot of kinks, Mr. Freeman?” I quizzed, looking up at him. I liked watching him get flustered with me. I was already in there for at least one month so it wasn’t like he could fire me.

  “Xari,” Navy scolded under her breath. A smile stretched across my face at how flushed Mr. Freeman got. He adjusted the kn
ot in his tie even though there was nothing wrong with it. It was, as usual, a perfect Windsor knot that looked like it was secured by the fingers of God.

  “What? I’m just playing. I’m sure Mr. Freeman has zero kinks.” I rolled my eyes at my sister and looked from her to Mr. Freeman.

  “What the heck have I gotten myself into for the next month?”

  “What the heck, indeed,” I laughed. “Who says heck though?”

  “I do,” he frowned.

  “I know what kind of words you really want to use, Mr. Freeman,” I teased, leaning over his desk. His dutiful cocoa eyes fixed on mine and refused to take a trip down my cleavage. I had it on display too. My floral Chloe wrap dress took a plunge. I made sure it was tasteful but no man in his right mind would ignore my tits.

  “Anyway,” he huffed. “I know Frankie will be over the moon.”

  “I can’t wait to pick her up from school.” I stood up from the desk and looked at Navy. I had to go shopping with her soon. She was getting stuck in an all-black rut and it wasn’t doing her any favors. The black pencil skirt and black blouse she wore was so plain it was giving me a headache.

  Navy was much curvier than me. She had a body most of these girls on Instagram paid top dollar for. It was always hit or miss with her flaunting it the way she should have though. Some days she nailed it with skirts and dresses that cinched her small waist and accentuated her full hips and breasts but other days she looked like she got dressed in the dark. Not everyone could ooze style and luxury like me but if people were going to know we were sisters, she needed to at least dress like it.

  “I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen you so happy, Xari.” Nave smoothed my dress at the shoulders.

  “I am happy, huh?” I tossed my arm around her and smiled. Even though Navy and I were the same height, I shot over her head a little in the heels I had on. Mr. Freeman’s eye dropped to my shoes then traveled up my legs leaving behind unavoidable heat. “I can’t believe I actually like a twelve-year-old. Frankie is the coolest kid I’ve ever met, to be honest.”

  “She is pretty awesome,” Mr. Freeman smiled while looking at his daughter’s picture on the desk. “So, Miss Lucas, I need you to head home and get things ready for Frankie. I’d also like to see the schedule for the week and then the month, which should include all meals you plan to cook so I can budget accordingly.”

  Navy gave us a polite smile before heading back to her desk, leaving me alone with her boss. Well, he was our boss now. I smoothed a strand of hair back into my puff and moved closer to Mr. Freeman’s desk.

  “Hey, um…do you think you could teach me how to do that?” I asked, keeping my voice down.

  “Teach you how to do what, Miss Lucas? I wouldn’t have thought there’d be a thing you didn’t know how to do given your impressive academics throughout school.”

  “Can you teach me how to set up a budget? My parents had me set up mock budgets before so the concept isn’t missed on me.”

  “Then what’s the problem?” He gave me his undivided attention. His brown eyes held onto mine without faltering once. Trustworthiness dripped from him.

  “Following said budget.” I sat on the corner of his desk and he still made sure to keep his stare on mine. Why did I crave his deviation so strongly? I willed him to look at my body. Look at my chest or my lips even. He was locked on my eyes though. No matter how much temptation was in front of him.

  “That doesn’t shock me,” he muttered, looking at the computer screen. A scoff flew from my lips and I anchored my hand to my hip.

  “Rude.”

  “Honest.” He stood up and walked around so that he was in front of me. He was close enough for me to smell faint hints of his expensive cologne but far enough so that I couldn’t reach out and touch him. “I’ll show you how to do a budget. Meet me in the den after Frankie goes to bed. We’ll work through your finances.”

  “You’ll help me?”

  “Yes. You have my word.” He shook my hand and everything. Our gazes tangled while our palms were pressed together and I felt a surge of something spiky and warm flash through me, buzzing beneath my skin. I was grateful that his phone rang because it gave me a moment to examine the pulse of electricity I got from him. Normally, I got that feeling in my pussy when I wanted to fuck someone but Freeman wasn’t my type and I felt that pulse all over my body.

  I was probably excited to work on a budget that I could stick to. I wanted to show Navy and my parents I knew how to be responsible even when it didn’t pertain to playing the harp.

  I might have been a royal fuck up when it came to adulting but when it came to my music? I was a drill sergeant. I practiced for nearly ten hours a day sometimes. I practiced until my fingers cramped and ached and my fingertips were flaky and dry from plucking strings.

  That’s why the job as Frankie’s nanny was perfect. She was in school for six hours and I could use every hour of that time to practice, then I’d take a break when she got home and pick up again after she went to bed. No matter what, I was going to get my practice hours in.

  “I have to get this call. It’s my father.” Mr. Freeman’s attitude when from mellow to uptight again in a matter of seconds. So he didn’t like his father. I wondered what kind of asshole he was? Seemed like he created a pretty anal child, so he was probably overbearing as fuck.

  “Okay. I’ll see you this evening and I’ll make sure to have Frankie check in with you when she gets out of school. She told me about that little rule,” I said, holding my finger in the air.

  “Good,” he said, holding the phone to his ear. Damn. That smile was killer.

  “Hey, wanna grab lunch?” Navy caught me as I came out of Mr. Freeman’s office. I glanced at the giant redwood tree of a man posted outside the door then at my sister.

  “Nah, I have to go home and get a practice session in before I have to have Sunshine moved to Mr. Freeman’s house.”

  “The harp?” Navy chuckled. “You always talk about that thing like it’s your child.”

  “Because she is. Now, I need to get in some hours. Why don’t you ask the giant rock sculpture right here?” I turned to face him and his hazel gaze met mine. He’d definitely killed a few people in his life. Maybe more than a few. “Hey, what’s your name?” I quizzed.

  “Xari, he’s on duty he can’t…”

  “Girl, please. He can tell me his name. What’s your name?” I asked again, this time putting a hand on my hip.

  “Name’s Apollo, Miss Lucas.” He nodded at me and made an expression that I assumed was supposed to be a smile.

  “Ooh, I like that. It’s sexy.” When I giggled, Navy rolled her eyes but Apollo cracked another attempt at a smile. He was sexy in a rugged killer kind of way. Not my style though. He was too hard. I only liked that kind of harshness in the bedroom. “So, Apollo, I know you’re on duty but you have to get a lunch break, right?” I batted my lashes at him and he regarded me with an expression made of granite. I knew how to work my way around stubborn men though. I didn’t spend years wrapping Daddy around my finger for sport. I was a pro at that shit.

  “Yes,” he said, stiffening his shoulders. His suit wasn’t tailored like Mr. Freeman’s but he still wore it as nicely as you could wear an off-the-rack suit.

  “So you get to leave and all that good stuff?” My eyes darted between Apollo and Navy. They obviously liked each other and it was fucking adorable.

  “Yes.”

  “Good. Then you can take Navy out for lunch.” When I smiled at him, I saw a crack in his guard. I had that effect on men.

  “She wants your company. Not mine, ma’am.”

  “Oh, she wants your company, Apollo. Trust me. I know her. I grew up with her. I know all about how she acts when she wants something and…”

  “Xari!” Navy hissed then grabbed my arm and tugged me over to her desk. “Can you not?”

  “What? I’m trying to hook you up. He’s cute in a gruff kind of way. Like he’d defend your honor and shit.”r />
  “Stop it.” Her cheeks turned a soft shade of crimson that made my smile blossom even more. “Oh god, you’re doing the dimples thing. I hate the dimples thing, Xari.”

  “Go out with him, Navy. Just for lunch. You can even make me out to be the pushy, bratty sister who forced you to.”

  “And that’s different from reality, how?”

  “Yeah, yeah. Whatever. You’re not going to deflect from the fact that you like this man and I totally get why.”

  “You don’t know anything, Xari. Cut it out.”

  “You like the take-charge kind of guy, right?” I sat on her desk and crossed my legs. “Because you’re the oldest sibling and god knows you had your hands full with me as your sister. So you want to be the one who’s controlled sometimes.” The revelation made me burst with excitement.

  “Okay, Xari. You can stop psychoanalyzing me now.”

  “Why? It’s fun. I feel like I cracked a code. Navy likes being controlled. Ooh.” I wiggled my fingers at her and she sighed, staring up at the ceiling like she needed a personal meeting with God.

  “Why don’t you go play your harp?”

  “I’m leaving just give me a minute.” I hopped off her desk and made my way back to Apollo. “Ask her out,” I said, poking his chest. “At least for lunch. If you don’t, I’m going to bother you every chance I get, and trust me, I can be super annoying.”

  “I’ve gathered.” He stood up fully and tilted his head down to look at me. “Don’t make it a habit of bothering me with civilian problems when I’m on duty.”

  “I’ll make my habits as I please, Apollo. Now, go ask my sister out. Go.” I shooed him in her direction and he ambled over begrudgingly while trying not to glare at me.

  “Would you like to grab lunch, Navy?” I wondered if she could tell his voice thawed about a half-degree when he spoke to her? I heard it.