“Evander, tell your help to keep her mouth shut.”
“Help? You must have lost what little bit of mind you had left. Just because I’m Frankie’s nanny, doesn’t mean I get to be silenced. I’m trying so fucking hard not to slice you from head to toe with my tongue because I need this job and this money but if you ever talk about me like I’m invisible again, I promise I’ll either make you cry or make you want to kill me.”
Well shit. I didn’t have to say much in Xari’s defense at all. She already had Alexis foaming at the mouth, ready to bite her head off. I hid my smirk and turned to my ex-wife.
“Hurry up and drop Frankie off, Alexis.”
“I’m coming back here to talk about this little situation, Evander. Don’t think you’re off the hook. You or your little plaything.”
“I can assure you I’m not this man’s plaything. Even if we were fucking, he wouldn’t know what to do with me.” Xari tipped her freckle-sprinkled nose in the air and left the kitchen.
Alexis started in on me, nagging and bitching but I could barely hear her over the steady thumping of the organ in my chest. Adrenaline shot through my veins like liquid caffeine. I stared at Miss Lucas’ ass while she swayed down the hall. That little girl had no fucking idea who she was tempting. She had no idea what I would do to her.
Bonita Applebum, you gotta put me on.
Bonita. Bonita. Bonita.
“Do you hear me talking to you, Van?” Alexis’s voice split my thoughts in two. I blinked and focused on her. I had a mounting problem on my hands if I didn’t get her on board with Miss Lucas being the nanny.
“Take Frankie to school,”
I sighed, walking away from her. “Don’t come back here to discuss anything. We can talk over the phone. I have to get ready for work.” I ushered her out the front door while she fussed non-stop. Her voice was a cheese grater shredding my brain into thin ribbons.
Once the door closed and silence fell around my shoulders like a warm blanket, I was finally able to breathe.
…
NINE
“Hey,” Freeman said from the doorway of Frankie’s room. I hadn’t officially moved in yet but my things were scheduled to be brought in tomorrow. With his ex-wife on a rampage, I didn’t know if he’d still hire me. He seemed to be able to stand his ground when she was around but that could have all been bark and no bite.
“Hey. Is filter face gone?” I folded my arms across my chest. Freeman cracked the smallest smile before nodding and walking in.
“I’m sorry about that, Miss Lucas.” He rubbed the back of his neck and cast his stare at the floor. I used the quiet seconds to study him dressed down in basketball shorts and a tank top. It gave me a chance to see his tattoos and muscles.
His arms were sculpted from bronze and covered in artwork. I thought I was hallucinating when I saw glimpses of his tattoos peeking from beneath his sleeves. Every layer Freeman peeled back seemed to intrigue me more.
“You called me Xari before she came over.” I took a step closer to him. I don’t know why. Maybe I liked his scent.
“Did I?”
“You’re full of shit, Evander.”
“Wow. Full name, huh?” His broad shoulders relaxed a little and his brown eyes raked over me, burning my skin with desire. I couldn’t have been reading him wrong. He definitely wanted me.
How the fuck was he able to be so reserved? Most men would have pinned me down by now. He was probably too shy.
“You look nice, Miss Lucas.”
“Thank you.” I spun around slowly for him and he let his eyes wander while my back faced him.
“Listen, don’t let Alexis worry you. She’s being annoying because she’s not in control.” His voice was so gravelly and deep. When he spoke like that, loosening his enunciation, he sounded sexy. I liked watching the stick in the mud disappear.
“I gathered. Also, I’m used to women hating me before they ever get to know me.”
“You’re intimidating,” he told me.
“Me?” I gasped, placing a hand on my chest. “I would have never guessed.”
“You already know your little ass is a problem.” The way he spoke made me tingle all over again. I loved and hated the effect he had on me.
“Am I?” I tucked my full bottom lip between my teeth and he chuckled in response.
“You are. You came in here causing all types of problems. Frankie likes you though. That’s mainly what matters here. I can fix the rest of your problems later.” His hand slid over his angled chin while he regarded me. I couldn’t help feeling like that statement had a double meaning.
My throat tightened and I took another step toward Freeman. He shook his head slowly and chuckled. “So, what’s this going on between us, Evander?”
“Is something going on between us that I’m not aware of?”
“You seriously don’t feel that?” I’d never been one to hide my feelings and I damn sure didn’t filter my thoughts unless I had to.
“Feel what?” He was such a politician. He could throw on a poker face with the best of them. “I’m sure even if I did feel something,” he said, flitting over my breasts then looking into my eyes. “I wouldn’t know what to do with you, remember?”
“Oh, I don’t take back what I said. You wouldn’t know what to do with me. You do feel that…something though don’t you?”
“You’re attractive, Xari. You have crazy style and I’m a man who appreciates a pretty face and a pulled together woman. That’s all. I can assure you I’m not trying to fuck you or whatever Alexis said.”
“Yeah, fuck her. I’m talking about…”
“Something that doesn’t exist. You’re talking about something that doesn’t exist. Now, if my ex-wife comes in here after picking Frankie up and starts in on you…ignore her. She’ll go away eventually.”
“Is that what you do, Evander?” I liked the way his name rolled off my tongue. I’d probably like moaning it even more.
“It is. If you ignore a problem long enough it’ll go away.” He winked at me and my pussy throbbed with want.
He probably wouldn’t know what to do with you if he had you, girl.
I pressed my thighs together and tried to focus on something else. Anything else.
Sunshine.
I looked at the time and flew out of the room.
“Where are you rushing off to, Miss Lucas?”
“You’re past calling me that now. I’m going back to my apartment. I need to get hours in on my harp or the day will be wasted.”
“You still play the harp?” He seemed intrigued.
“I do.” The longer I stood near him, the more my clit ached. It didn’t matter how many times I told her he had darling dick. She craved his touch.
The thought of his hands on me…his mouth, his tongue. It all sped my pulse up until I worried if it was visible beneath my skin. Pounding at the base of my throat and the tips of my fingers.
“I’m waiting for a principal harpist position to open on the philharmonic. In the meantime, I’m here. I take the harp very seriously. If I don’t get in at least eight hours of practice then my day was a waste. I try not to waste more than two days a year.”
“A year?” He balked. “Jesus, Xari. You’re a drill sergeant. Where’s that discipline when it comes to your finances?”
“I don’t know,” I frowned. I checked the time again and started calculating how much time I’d have left to practice if I got back to my apartment in the next twenty-one minutes. “I’ll see you later, Evander. I have to go. If I don’t leave in the next three minutes, my practice will be thrown off.” I didn’t say another word to him. I rushed out of the house and got in my car.
I couldn’t be alone with him anyway. He did things to my body. He made me curious. If I got too curious, I’d do or say something reckless. I already came close when we were in Frankie’s room.
I seriously asked him if he felt something between us. He was my boss and I blurted out exactly what was on my m
ind without a second thought. I had to get my shit together.
When I walked into my apartment, I went straight for the candles and lit them so I could breathe easier.
When exactly had it gotten so hard to breathe? I sat at my harp and put my phone on do not disturb then I let all the stress trickle out through my fingers while I plucked Sunshine’s strings. The hairs on my arms stood on end and I let my eyes fall shut.
I was in my happy place.
When my alarm went off at 2:45 telling me to pick up Frankie, I snapped out of my practice session and decided it was time for a break after nearly five hours playing.
I started the painstakingly slow process of protecting Sunshine for the move tomorrow. I wrapped her in thick foam sheets then wrapped her in bubble wrap. I finished up by boxing her in a huge cardboard box that I had to construct around her. Before I went to bed, I’d stuff the corners of the box with packing peanuts.
…
When I got to Evander’s house, Frankie wasn’t there and neither was her mother. The house was empty. I walked around to every room to make sure. I called Evander when I came up empty-handed.
“Hey, did Frankie call you yet?” I quizzed the moment he answered.
“No, but she sent a text telling me Alexis was late picking her up. She should be home in the next ten minutes. Thank you for checking on her, Xari.”
“No problem. So, are we officially on a first name basis? Calling you Mr. Freeman sounds so stuffy.”
“Goodbye, Xari.” I heard a subtle smile in his deep voice.
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
“Yes.” He ended the call and I let out a small victory squeak. The real question was why the hell did I get so excited over something so trivial? Whatever the reason, the excitement bolstered me and gave me the extra boost I needed to start on dinner.
Lemon pepper wings, mashed sweet potatoes, and a huge garden salad. I’d seen Evander’s routine a couple of times and the man looked like he never missed a workout. I knew he wouldn’t go for fattening foods all the time.
By the time I finished zesting the lemon peel to make lemon pepper, Frankie and her mother were coming through the door. “Xari!” Frankie gasped, rushing me with a big hug. My heart swelled seeing her happy face.
“Hey, girl! How was school?” I hopped up on the counter and waited for her response but Alexis sliced through everything.
“Go upstairs, Francesca.” Her voice was like a whip cracking through the air. Frankie shot me an apologetic glance, her brown eyes soft and even a little sad before she darted out of the kitchen.
I tightened the apron strings around my waist and blew out a controlled breath.
You need this job Xari. Don’t fly off the handle.
I clenched my teeth and rolled the tension out of my shoulders and neck. It felt like I was about to head into battle.
“Nanny,” Alexis called. I barked out a laugh before I could stop myself. I still refused to meet her cold onyx eyes. I didn’t know who the fuck she thought was named Nanny. “I know you hear me talking to you.”
I tried to ignore her like Evander told me but my skin prickled with the need to chew her up and spit her out. I moved to the counter and began crumbling the lemon zest then grinding cracked black pepper.
“I guess you can only hear when Van is around, huh? Figures. You probably only speak after his dick has been in your mouth.”
My eyes narrowed involuntarily and my fingers stiffened, slowing the grinding motion. “Anyway, tell my husband I’ll call later to discuss your employment. You might want to find a backup, sweetie. I’m sure some man would be more than willing to be your sugar daddy. You wouldn’t even have to pretend to like his kid.” She adjusted the Chanel bag on her shoulder then moved toward the doorway.
“Ex,” I said so she could hear me. The sound of her stride paused.
“Excuse me, what?” She chuckled.
“I said ex. You called Evander your husband. I wanted to make sure you remembered he’s your ex-husband and you had to drop Frankie off at his house because he has full custody. You know, in case you needed a reminder of your current situation. You sounded a little delusional.” I made sure to angle my face so that she could see me smiling and showing off both pot-hole dimples.
“God, the mouths they install on whores these days. Out of control,” she sighed.
“Mom! Why would you say that to her?” Frankie’s trembling voice startled me since I had no idea where she’d been hiding or if she heard me rip her mother a new asshole. Alexis’s eyes drifted upward. Frankie must have been on the loft.
“Frankie…I…you need to be in your room like I told you! Not eavesdropping!”
“Fine because I don’t want to talk to you or look at you right now.” Heavy footsteps sounded above my head and I waited silently until I heard her bedroom door slam. I was going to have to do damage control after the bitch left.
“Are you happy now? You goaded me into an immature argument and now Francesca is upset. Van will hear about your disrespectful little mouth.”
“He already knows about my mouth,” I said before she left. I realized how fucked up that sounded but it was true. He knew I had a smart ass mouth.
Once I had the wings roasting in the oven, I went to check on Frankie. It took a little coaxing to get her to open the door but I made sure to wrap her in a hug when she did open it. I didn’t know what the uncomfortable feeling in my chest was when I noticed her red-rimmed eyes but it made me want to fuck Alexis up.
We sat on her bed and she drew her knees up to her chest. “I’m so embarrassed,” she muttered, looking down at the comforter.
“Why? Because of your mother?” I smoothed her puff a little then slid close enough to put my arm around her shoulders.
“Yeah. I’m so sorry she said that to you. If you don’t want to work here anymore, I get it.” She tried to swipe at her tears discreetly but there was no hiding it.
“Girl, nothing is going to stop me from being your nanny unless you don’t want me here anymore. I honestly thought we were becoming friends. I was excited to hang out with you every day and piss your father off.” She didn’t laugh but at least her eyes weren’t as sad anymore.
“I want you to stay. Sometimes it feels like it’s not up to me though. Especially with Mom. Daddy is tough but he listens to me when it counts.”
“Then we’ll talk to him together. Anything you’re too nervous to say, tell me and I’ll say it.”
“You promise?” She quizzed, blinking up at me. The uncomfortable feeling I had when I saw her crying subsided and gave way to the need to protect her and make her happy.
“I promise. Now, let me grab something to change into since I’m in the kitchen wearing cream Gucci like I can afford to get this dirty.” I shook my head at my own audacity and dug through my overnight bag. I took out an IVY PARK t-shirt and a pair of black leggings.
“Can I do my homework in the kitchen with you? Or is my mom still down there?”
“She left. Bring your books and I’ll help you while I cook. Please tell me you like chicken wings.”
“Flats?” She lifted a brow at me.
“Of course. I’m not a barbarian.”
“Then yes, I love chicken wings.”
“A girl after my own heart.” We slapped hands and made our way downstairs. While I finished dinner and helped Frankie with her homework, I played Brandy’s Never Say Never CD.
When The Boy Is Mine came on, the strings at the beginning grabbed me and wouldn’t let go. I kept repeating the sequence in my mind over and over while I mashed sweet potatoes and chopped veggies for the salad.
“Xari, hello…” Frankie waved her hand in front of my face a few times until I snapped back to reality.
“Oh, shit. Sorry, Frank. How much homework did I miss?”
“Just one question. Where were you? You looked like you were somewhere else completely.”
“I was,” I rubbed my forehead and watched the notes pile u
p on the staff in my mind. “I have a song stuck in my head and now I have to play it on the harp or I won’t be able to sleep.”
“Are you obsessed with the harp or music in general?”
“Both,” I laughed. “Music is home for me. But being able to create pure music from thin air is something that will always take my breath away.” My fingers ached to strum Sunshine’s strings.
Soon…
“I want to love something like that.” Stardust sparkled in her eyes and wonder coated her words.
“You’ll find something that makes you passionate, Frank. When you do, you’ll know immediately because you’ll start the slow descent into madness.”
“Madness?” She furled her groomed brows together and waited for me to elaborate.
“You didn’t think passion was sweet and easy, did you?” I cackled at the thought.
“Well, yeah. It’s a passion. It’s something you love to do all the time. Like you with the harp or Daddy with writing.”
“Is that his passion?” I quizzed, my ears burning and my mind happy to have any morsel of information about Evander.
“Definitely. If he doesn’t get time to write he gets evil.”
“That right there should let you know finding your passion isn’t as romantic as it seems. It’s like being married. Your passion will bring out the worst in you but it’ll also bring out the best.” I tried not to scare her too much but finding and unleashing your passion was no joke. I didn’t want her to be surprised when she found something that consumed her whole and spat out the bones.
I helped her with one last question on her homework then I finished dinner.
“The food is done and you’re finished with your homework. Wanna go to my house and look through the rest of my clothes?” I untied the apron and hung it up on a hook near the pantry.
“Is that even a question?” She smiled at me then started putting her papers and binder away. While she packed up, I cleaned up the kitchen a little. The smell of tart lemon with savory pepper and garlic was enough to make my stomach growl.
Normally, I would have grabbed me a small plate to go because I didn’t play about my food but I wanted to eat with Evander and Frankie. Something about their father-daughter banter and the way he lit up when he talked about her was adorable. I could stare at their interaction for hours.
Whiskey and Regret Page 9