by McCoy, SJ
He handed her a coffee and smiled. “There's cream and sugar in the bag if you want them.”
She shook her head. “No thanks,” She wasn't saying much, but her smile reassured him that she was happy to see him.
“So what kind of sandwich do you want? They're only the to-go ones from the bakery. I got bacon, egg and cheese; sausage, egg and cheese; steak, egg and cheese; and just egg and cheese.”
Her laugh sounded so good. “You got four different sandwiches, and you already had breakfast?”
He shrugged and hung his head, then smiled out at her from under lowered lashes. “I met the guys for breakfast, but I didn't eat yet.”
“Why not?”
“Because two minutes after the food came out, I spotted you. I ran to the bakery to get the sandwiches and drove over here like a bat out of hell!”
Her cheeks were pink, but her smile was huge. “Really?”
“Yes, really!”
“Why?”
She was as bad as Ethan, with having to know the why of everything. This one was an easy answer though.
“Because I couldn't wait to see you again, that's why!”
She peeked up at him. He loved the way she did that, as though she thought he wouldn't notice and she could figure him out while he wasn't looking. She didn't seem to understand that he couldn't take his eyes off her.
He shrugged and smiled. “So what kind of sandwich do you want? They're still hot.”
“I'll take the sausage.”
He laughed out loud, even as the pressure in his pants grew more uncomfortable. That naughty, guilty little smile was working its crazy on him. He shook his head at her. “You shouldn't say it if you don't mean it.”
Her mouth formed a perfect little ‘oh’, making him squirm on the tailgate and squeeze his knees together. He realized she was uncomfortable and put a hand on her shoulder. “Sorry, darl', but you've got to know what you’re doing to me? You've driving me nuts!”
“How? What am I doing?”
He laughed. “You are so incredibly sexy, and you genuinely don't know it. You're hiding your hot little self somewhere under all those clothes—and you keep talking about wanting my sausage!”
“I am not sexy! I don't even like sex.”
“That's because you've never had sex....”
“Don't be ridiculous! Of course I have. I'm twenty-eight years old!”
He couldn't help grinning as he held his hand up. “You didn't let me finish. What I was saying, darl', is that you've never had sex with me.” Her eyes flew up to meet his and her cheeks turned bright pink as he winked and added, “Yet.”
He stroked his hand from her shoulder up her neck, till it cupped the back of her head. Her eyes were wide. Her lips were parted. He had no choice. He drew her closer and was relieved when her hand came up to his cheek. He covered her mouth with his own and kissed her the way he needed to. She was hesitant at first, but he felt her relax as he curled his arm around her and pulled her against him. Her other hand came up to cup his face as he tasted her, exploring her mouth. She was shaking, but willing. She let him in, met his tongue with her own. She sure as hell didn't kiss like a woman who didn't like sex!
When he finally lifted his head she was breathless. She still held his face between her hands. He held her closer to him, not wanting to let go. There was doubt in her eyes, but there was desire too, unquestionable desire. He had to let go of her, while he still could.
“What are you doing later, little one?”
“I'm not going to have sex with you, if that's what you're thinking!”
He threw his head back and laughed as he hugged her to him again. She was adorable! “I'm not asking you to.”
Now she just looked confused. The poor little darlin' had no clue at all.
“Don't get me wrong. I wouldn't say no, in fact I'd love it if you wanted to. But we can get to that when, and only if, you want to. I was going to ask if you want to come out for a ride with me. I'm going to be working on my old car with Ben this afternoon and I thought it'd be fun to take you for a spin when we're done.”
“You and Ben?”
“No, Meggie. Just you and me.”
She smiled. “Yes, please.”
“Good. I'll come get you at four. I'll have to get back early for Ethan coming home.”
Chapter Six
Michael dropped the hood on the old Cadillac and grinned at Ben. “Thanks, mate. She's running great. You want a beer?”
“I'd love one, but what time do you need to get going?”
“I said I'd pick Meggie up at four, so we've got ages yet. Come on back up to the house.”
After they had both cleaned up, Michael passed Ben a beer from the fridge and took a bottle of apple juice for himself. They settled out on the back deck overlooking the lake. The water sparkled in the afternoon sun.
Ben raised his bottle. “It really doesn't seem that long since we used to sit out here doing homework, or having burgers and milkshakes after football practice.”
Michael smiled. “You're right, mate. In some ways it feels like it was last week. In others it seems like a different lifetime.” He touched his bottle against Ben's. “I never thought I'd live here again, but I'm glad I am. It just feels right, you know?”
Ben laughed. “I do know. Seems there are quite a few people who feel the same way these days. Speaking of which, did I see Gabe the other day? I thought I must be imagining things.”
“Nope, not your imagination. Big brother is back too. He's just visiting though. I wish I could convince him to stay here and chill out, give up all the high-powered stress, but I'm not sure he'll ever be able to relax that much.”
“He always was kind of type A, wasn't he? I was surprised when you bought this place from your folks. I thought he would have at least wanted to own a share.”
Michael shook his head with a rueful grin. “Type A? The Angel Gabriel is more of a triple A—high energy, high powered. He organizes life into submission, and God help anyone who gets in his way. I'm lucky that the idea of my buying the old place met with his approval. He liked the idea of my having ties here, and I have to admit he was right, as always. He kept telling me I needed the option of coming back some day.” He stared out at the lake, lost in thought.
“Are you okay?”
He looked back at Ben. “Yeah. There's still that little piece of me that hates admitting he was right. He knew I'd end up back here, while I thought I could go out and be a success in the world.”
“Jesus, Michael! You have, you did, you are. You made your way in a different country, you're a great doctor, you've got a great son.”
He shook his head. “I tried. I knew I could never compete with Gabe. That's why I went to Oz, and it was why I stayed there in the beginning. Growing up it was always so obvious he was the smart one, the driven one. I was just the funny one, bouncing along behind. I wanted to be a success in my own right. I could never be that while I was in his shadow.”
Ben was looking at him quizzically. “I never, ever, thought of you as being in Gabe's shadow. You were both such bright lights.”
“Nah, he was the main act, I was the clown. Still that way now. He's got his law firm in New York, going from strength to strength, bringing justice to the world, leaping tall buildings, all that good shit. Me? I'm back in Hicksville, California, settling down as a small-time, small-town doc.”
Ben shook his head. “I had no idea you felt that way, bud. It's not how I see you. I've always bragged about my buddy, the doctor. Whenever you're coming back I tell people about my friend Michael, how they'll love him when they meet him, he's so smart and funny—and successful.”
Michael shook his head. “Aww, just listen to you, Mr. Supportive Friend. How come you're not married with a bunch of kids? Surely women love you? You're kind, caring, you always know the right thing to say to make people feel better. You're everything women look for and rarely find. Why hasn't some lucky lady snagged you already? Are you ever goi
ng to tell me the story?”
Ben shook his head. “Not going there. This conversation isn't about me, it's about you. My story can wait for another day. I cannot believe that you don't feel successful. You're a great doctor and a great dad. ”
Michael shrugged. “I guess when you grow up with a brother like Gabe, it's hard to feel that you're great at anything, because he was always the greatest. I did okay when I first went to Oz, but being with Kay did a number on me too. I know I'm a good dad, but I had to be. I had to learn real fast. She was never interested in Ethan, or in me for that matter. She married me because she was pregnant. She stayed with me because she liked the idea of the money. It's hard to feel successful when your wife is sleeping around and partying. It's even more difficult when she leaves you and your five year old boy so she can party harder and not have to explain herself to either of you.”
“Yeah, but look what you've done in the last five years. You built a great practice over there and now you're taking over from your dad here. You might not be leaping tall buildings, but what you're doing is much more important. You don't really dismiss the importance of a small-town doc do you? You're not telling me you don't understand everything your dad has done for the people of Summer Lake. Everything he means to them? And I know full well you're proud of Ethan and the relationship the two of you have.”
Michael nodded. “I know, mate. You're right. It's just, when I get around Gabe the old feelings of inadequacy start to surface, that's all. I'll never achieve the kind of success he has.”
Ben shook his head. “And he'll never achieve the kind of success you have. You're different people. He has his strengths, you have yours. He could never have raised a kid by himself the way you have with Ethan. He'll never achieve that kind of success, few men ever will.”
Michael took a deep breath. “That's what makes me feel like a big, fat failure, Ben. I do okay for Ethan. I know that. Within the framework of what we have, I do great. But every kid should have a mum, and Ethan doesn't. I failed him.”
Ben grasped his shoulder. “You've not failed him. From what you’ve told me over the years, he's much better off without Kay in his life. Whenever she has been around she's hurt him. I know it must have been hard to do what you did and leave Australia, but you can't claim it wasn't the best thing for him.”
“No. I can't. I know that realistically, given the circumstances, he's better off without his mum, but that doesn't change the fact that I wish he had one. A kid needs a woman to love him, to round out everything a guy can't give him. I know I did right, making sure Kay won't come back into his life, but that doesn't stop me from feeling like I've failed him.”
“Do you ever see yourself letting someone new into his life?”
Michael raised an eyebrow at his old friend. He had a feeling he knew where this was going, but he waited for Ben to elaborate.
“You've been the world's biggest flirt for as long as I've known you, which is your whole life. But you've never talked about a woman since Kay.”
Michael laughed. “I talk about women all the time!”
Ben joined his laughter. “No. You talk about hair color and body parts. The redhead with the great ass, the blond with the long legs, the brunette with the huge tits.” He gave him a knowing look. “You haven't talked about a woman as a woman since you first met Kay.”
Michael nodded. He had to admit he hadn't really thought about a woman as a woman, until....
Ben put the words to Michael’s thoughts. “Until Megan.”
He drew in a sharp breath. “I like that little lady a whole lot more than I should.”
“Why shouldn't you?”
“You were right. She's not my type.”
“Well, considering that your ‘type’ are the ones you screw and never see again, maybe that's a good thing?”
“Maybe.”
“What's the problem?”
“I told you. I like her too much and I don't even know her. And besides, she's short, she's timid, and she's all kinds of awkward.”
Ben raised an eyebrow. “And you say all of that with a huge grin on your face, as though they are the most desirable attributes a woman could possess.”
Michael laughed. He couldn't help it. “Because when they're all packaged inside baggy jeans and a sweatshirt, hidden behind huge glasses—they are! I can't get her out of my head, Ben. She's adorable!” He shot Ben a sideways glance. “And Ethan already knows her, and he thinks she's great.”
“Wow! So you are thinking about her in terms of maybe letting her into his life?”
“She's already in it. She's been working with him and Scotty. I don't know why I didn't make the connection on Friday night when you talked about her working at the library, but she's the 'awesome new lady' that he's been talking about for weeks.”
“So, she's already made it past the barrier that you put up to keep women out of your real life?”
Michael smiled to himself. “She has, mate.”
Ben nodded knowingly.
“What? What are you looking so smug about?”
“I'm just thinking you might be on course to find your real success right back here.”
Michael thought about it. It was way too early to think about Megan in those terms, but the possibility was making him smile.
***
Megan put her phone back down on the counter for the third time. She really didn't need to call Missy to ask her what to wear. Missy would no doubt think she was being silly. She was being silly! Michael was taking her out for a drive. There was no need to wear anything other than her jeans. But she wanted to. She wanted to look pretty again. Even though he must have very questionable taste, she had been very aware of the way Michael had been looking at her last night. She wanted him to look at her like that again. She wanted him to kiss her again, like he had this morning. If their hugs had been a conversation between their bodies, their kiss had been a declaration of intent. When his lips had come down on hers her brain had shut down—and her body had fired up. She'd never felt like that before, but she wanted to feel that way again. She wanted him to kiss her—and more. She picked her phone back up. He'd be here in half an hour, she didn't have time to worry if it was silly. Instead of Missy though, she dialed Kenzie's number.
“Hey, sis. Have you changed your mind about coming to Nashville?”
She certainly didn't have time to get into that one. “No, but I changed my mind about probably not seeing Michael again. He's coming in half an hour and I don't know what to wear!”
Kenzie laughed. “Well, good for you. I'm glad you called me. You still have that box of my clothes, don't you? Pick something out of there.”
“Oh, Kenzie, I couldn't! Your things are too...too...”
Kenzie laughed again. “Too what, Megan? Too slutty?”
“No! I didn't mean that. Your clothes are beautiful—on you. I just wouldn't feel right in them, they're too....sexy!”
“Well, if you're going out on a date, don't you want to feel sexy?”
“Yes I do, but....”
“You do? Oh, my God! I was teasing! Okay then, this is serious, little sister. Where are you going and what's the weather like?”
“He's picking me up in his car and we're going out for a drive. It's sunny and really quite warm.”
“In that case, do you still have that white sundress you bought? The one you got to come to that picnic you chickened out of.”
“I do, but Kenzie, it's strapless. I can't wear a bra with it.”
“Exactly! You look drop-dead gorgeous in it, and it shows off those fabulous boobs you're always hiding!”
“Kenz, this is me you're talking to! Why do you think I chickened out of the picnic?!”
“Because you didn't want people to find out how gorgeous you are. But it sounds as if you really like this guy. He must like you if he wants to see you again, so why not let him see you?”
Megan thought about it. Could she do that? “But what if it gets colder?”
“It would? But it's so different.”
“Exactly. The dress is sweet, the jacket is sexy, the combination will be irresistible!”
“But, Kenzie....”
“But nothing, Megan. You called for my advice. Now you have it, and now you have twenty minutes to get ready. It's your call. Do you sit and worry about it and end up going out in your jeans, or do you trust the one who knows and just do it?”
Megan smiled. “I'm going to do it! I'm going to go and put them on right now, before I change my mind!”
Kenzie laughed. “Well done! I'm proud of you. I don't suppose you ever bought any makeup did you?”
“No, but I still have the lipstick you gave me and that mascara. Do you think I need more?”
“No you don't. Wear what you've got, but Megan, you don't need any at all. You're beautiful! You're my little wild gypsy. Just act like you believe it. Now go, get ready, and have a wonderful time, okay?”
“I'll try. Thanks Kenzie.”
“Thank you for calling. I'm not much use to you most of the time, but this is one area I can help with. Call me? Tell me all about it?”
“I will. Thanks. Love you, Kenzie.”
“Love you too, sis. And Megan?”
“Yes?”
“Leave your hair down.”
“Oh, but I was....”
Kenzie laughed. “Just do it, okay?”
“Okay.”
Chapter Seven
Megan paced the kitchen. Could she really go out looking like this? She pulled the jacket on and tried to zip it up. Of course, it wouldn't go all the way up. The higher she pulled the zipper the bigger her boobs looked. She was hoping to hide them—not emphasize them! With the jacket open it wasn't so bad, and Kenzie had been right, it did work really well with the dress. She was glad her cowboy boots worked too, since she didn't have any shoes that went with dresses. She'd looked at the ones in Kenzie's box, but no way would she be able to walk in those. They were all too high and spikey.