by Lane Martin
“That’s bullshit, and you know it.” I do. Logan slid his hand down my body until it was resting on my hip, his thumb stroking the swell where my baby was growing. I knew it was time to tell her. Logan’s fascination with my bump had me wondering.
“Can I ask you something?”
“I’m an open book, ask away.”
“Should I be worried?”
“About?”
“About you having some weird fetish for pregnant women.” His musical laugh filled both the air and my heart. I couldn’t help but laugh too which was when he rolled me onto my back. He hovered above me and gripped both of my hands in one of his. The mood quickly turned serious.
“I’ve never been with another pregnant woman.” I swallowed down the lump in my throat.
“I…” He kissed me quiet.
“I didn’t plan what happened today.” He moved down my body, kissing me reverently. When Logan reached my belly, I suddenly felt very self-conscience. I tried to cover myself, but he tightened his grip on my hands before placing a kiss right on my belly button. “Your mom is stubborn, Charo.” It wasn’t the first time he had whispered something to my bump, but it was the first time I heard what he said.
“I am not stubborn.” I pouted, “And what’s a charo?” He chuckled and placed another kiss on my abdomen.
“Charo means beautiful flower.” Jesus, where did this guy come from?
“I like that. It’s much better than the nickname I came up with.” My stomach took that minute to growl loudly.
“This I’ve got to hear, but you need food first.” Logan got off the bed, and I missed him instantly. It was strange how different everything was with him. I’d never been a one to cuddle, I’d always hated it. Before. I could have laid in his arms for eternity, or at least the rest of the day.
“Put this on babe, before I feed you more of my cock.” His t-shirt was tossed at me while I tried to recover from his dirty words. Cock or food? I pick cock.
“After we eat.” He promised like he’d just read my dirty mind again as he strutted out of his room wearing nothing but a pair of jeans. Commando. Fuck that’s hot.
His apartment was small and nicely kept, for a single guy. I shouldn’t have been surprised Logan’s kitchen was the cleanest one I’d ever been in. He got to work in the kitchen while I snooped. Bookshelves held cookbooks of all kinds. A laptop sat on his coffee table, and a guitar on a stand was in the corner. Oh great, another musician. Other than one photo, the space was void of anything else personal. I’d seen the picture before. It was a recent one of Logan, Declan, Matt, Gabe, and Eric. It was taken on the night of Gabe and Nat’s combined bachelor/bachelorette party when they were singing karaoke. They all look delightedly happy. I wish I’d been there.
“I hope you like eggs. I don’t have much in my fridge.” I couldn’t help but laugh as I hopped on to one of the two stools that sat at his kitchen counter. Okay, so no dining table and only two places to sit and eat. I guessed that meant he didn’t have a lot of family or friends, especially the kind with benefits coming over.
“What? I’m never here.” Was that because he’s been sleeping somewhere else? I’d never stopped to ask him about a girlfriend, hell we didn’t even stop long enough for a condom. Good thing I was already knocked up and Logan and I were both clean. And just for the record, I don’t recommend having that conversation when you’ve already had unprotected sex once, and he was bare balls deep into you for a second go. I know, I know, add it to the list. Sometimes I thought Emily got all the brains. “I’m always at the restaurant,” Logan added, once again reading my mind while putting a plate in front of me.
“Oh my God, did you just do that?”
“I did. I didn’t know if you were one of those people. He scrunched up his nose in disgust. It was the cutest thing I had ever seen.” A beautiful pile of perfectly scrambled eggs sat in the center of the plate, and they were surrounded by a ketchup heart. Normally I hated ketchup.
“I’m not, but the inmate is.” Logan doubled over in laughter as I scooped the offending condiment onto the fluffy pile. Nasty, but it’s what the baby wanted. I blamed Edward because there was no way in hell ketchup on eggs came from me. Why couldn’t Logan be my baby daddy?
“That’s what you call the baby?” I shrugged as I took a mouthful and moaned at the deliciousness in my mouth.
“Holy hell Lib.” Logan took a step back from the counter and ran his hands through his hair with a groan. The evidence of his discomfort was hard to miss. Hard. Get it?
“What?” I feigned innocence.
“Finish your eggs.” I did, while he watched me eat like a starved man.
“Aren’t you going to eat?” He’d only made eggs for me. He cautioned he didn’t have much in the fridge. Sure enough, the empty carton still sat on the counter. Damn him, why couldn’t he just be a jerk like all the other men in my past?
“Like it’s an open buffet.” I liked the way this man thought.
“What if I’m still hungry?” I blamed it on the hormones, but the truth was, pregnant or not, I doubted I would ever get my fill of this delicious man.
“Do you see something on the menu you like?” He raised his arms palms up as an offering.
“That’s the problem. I want it all.” The words were out before I’d even considered I’d said too much. This thing with Logan was fun and exciting, but the reality of the situation was I was pregnant with another man’s baby. I was going to be a mom, and while the baby might get whatever he or she wanted, the same didn’t go for me.
“It’s all you can eat. You can have whatever you want Libby.” If only I knew what I wanted.
“Where have you been? You look like the cat that ate the canary.” Logan had just dropped me off at my sister’s apartment. He’d offered to come up so I could tell Emily my news, but I wanted to do this alone. Just me and my sister, my former wombmate and current inmate.
“More like the cream,” I swore the kiss he’d just given me had short-circuited my brain.
“You’re a fiend. Please tell me you were with Logan.” My sister had mentioned no less than a hundred times how great she thought we would be together.
“I was.” I blushed at the memory of the things we’d done to each other. Emily was the happiest I’d seen her since my arrival. I was an idiot. I should have told her my baby news sooner. I don’t know why I ever thought she would react poorly to my announcements. Babies are like puppies. How can you not love them? Especially when you get to hand them back to mom and dad the second, they start to fuss or need a dirty diaper changed. Dad? My baby won’t have one of those.
“Oh God, what’s wrong?” Did he find you already? Does he know about the baby?”
What the hell? “What? Who? How do you know about the baby?
“Libby, you ate a tuna sandwich yesterday.”
“Yeah, so what?”
“With ham on it.” Oh, that. “Plus, we’ve always been the same size up here.” She pointed to her chest before pointing at mine. There was no way we were the same size now.
“You’re not mad at me?”
“Are you kidding? I’m going to be an aunt!” Something about the way she said it made me think she wished it was her with the bun in the oven, but at the same time I could tell her happiness for me was genuine. “Congratulations.”
“Thank you, now what did you mean about him finding me, and yes, Logan knows.”
“That’s good, but I was talking about Edward. He came into the bakery today.” Fuck! “He wanted to know where he could find you.”
“Oh shit!” My ex-being there couldn’t be good. If Edward was here, it was because he wanted something and it sure wasn’t the baby or me. Edward cared about one person, himself.
“I was tempted to tell him you were in California, but I didn’t want him to show up on mom’s doorstep.” That was good thinking. “I told him you got a job on a cruise ship and were going to be out to see for months.” Have I mentioned my sister w
as brilliant? “He didn’t believe me.” Son-of-a-bitch.
Who knew? Not me, that’s for sure. “I thought you and Declan were out of your minds.” Both my buddies fell hard and fast. Shit, Eric asked Suzie to marry him the night they met, and they were married like forty-eight hours later. And Declan was a goner the first time he spotted Emily. I’ll skip the part where she was bent over, and the first thing he saw was her ass because I know it’s not the reason he fell in love with her. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a great ass, but that girls got a lot more to offer than just her looks and the same goes for her sister. I asked Eric to meet me for a beer at the pub. It was long past time for us to get Declan’s ass home.
“I recognize that look. Who’s the girl?”
“Libby.” He nodded at me before finishing his beer.
“Emily’s twin.” Eric didn’t miss much. It was what made him so great at what he did. People may have thought he was just Declan’s driver, but he was a hell of a lot more than that. When you had money like the Hayes family, someone was always looking for a way to take it from you. Eric’s job was to make sure that didn’t happen
“It’s not like that Eric.”
“I can see that.” Eric’s phone rang at the same time mine pinged with an incoming text.
Libby: Can I see you again?
I wasn’t expecting to hear from her so soon. I hoped I wasn’t wrong about the way I thought Emily would react to the pregnancy news. Before she left my apartment, we’d decided to keep our relationship out of the restaurant. It was her idea, not mine. I could honestly care less what anyone else thought. Damn the handbook. I’m the boss. What was Declan going to do? Fire me? The fucker wasn’t here anyway, and I wasn’t just an employee. He would have done the same thing if Emily had worked for him. No doubt about that.
“It’s going to be fine Emily.” The second I heard Eric trying to reassure Emily I was distracted from my text. “Yeah, he’s with me. We will be right over. Was Tank downstairs? Okay. We will see you in a few minutes.” I didn’t like the sound of this. Eric’s call with Emily was all business.
“What the hell is going on?” Eric was immediately dialing another number while he tossed some bills on the bar top and ignored me. He put up his finger indicating I needed to wait a second. As painful as it was to give him a moment to explain what was going on, I did.
“I need you stationed outside the apartment. We’ve got an unfriendly in the area.” What in the actual fuck?
Logan: I’m on my way
Just because Libby wasn’t ready to go public yet didn’t mean I wasn’t.
It was Valentine’s Day and to say the last month had been crazy would’ve been the understatement of the year. Logan didn’t like the idea of Edward showing up at my sister’s apartment looking for me, so at his “request” (read that: demand) I’d packed up my bags and moved to his place that night. Edward must not have bought Emily’s story I was out to sea because Eric had put surveillance on her apartment and sure enough, he’d been lurking. What Edward wanted I wasn’t sure. He didn’t know I was pregnant; maybe if he had known, he would have run the other direction. I told Logan, my sister, Eric, and Tank I could handle myself with Edward, but they wouldn’t let me just confront him. I’d made this bed. If I’d had only broken-up with him face to face in the first place, he probably wouldn’t have followed me. It wasn’t like we were in love or anything. Of course, at first, I was attracted to him. Now that it was over, I struggled to remember what I ever saw in him. Maybe that was partly because no man I’d ever been involved with, held a candle to Logan. It scared the shit out of me. About a week after Edward showed up; he was gone. Poof. I knew the guys knew something and weren’t telling Emily or me. What they were protecting us from, I had no idea. But I got the distinct impression my twin and I were better off not knowing the details of Edward’s sudden departure. Declan wasn’t here, but he still seemed like a guy who was well connected. After all, the Irish mob was the oldest crime group in the United States. Anyway, Edward was long gone yet I was still there at Logan’s apartment. Our apartment.
“Ready?” I asked my bump as Logan walked back in the room. I swore the moment I admitted to my sister I was pregnant, there was no hiding it. Don’t even get me started on people touching my belly. When did it become socially acceptable to just walk up to a stranger and touch them? Fuck that! Logan had bought me several t-shirts to try and warn people; “Touching my bump may result in a high-five to your face,” “Didn’t your mother teach you not to touch the oven while it’s on?”, “I’m making a human what have you done today,” and “I’m pregnant, not furry. Don’t pet me.” were some of my favorites. I’d cried when he got me the one that said: “If you didn’t put it in here, then don’t touch it.” I knew I was hormonal, but come on. He’d loved this baby since the first day he glimpsed her grainy black and white image sucking her thumb. Things were too perfect, too good. Perfect wasn’t how things played out when you were me.
“She’s ready, but the doctor said you need to drink this.” Logan had always believed the baby was a girl. I did too, but I didn’t dare tell him. Each time he said “she” I joked, “he.” The argument usually led to a “fight” which always led to us between the sheets, or against the wall, or on his desk. The desk, oh the desk. Here we thought we were being so clever about hiding our relationship from our co-workers. Yeah, right. Not that it mattered. The day after I moved into Logan’s apartment, a revised policy about workplace dating appeared that stated owners were exempt from the previous relationship rule. Color me surprised when I found out Logan was part owner of the restaurant, Swayed. Even so, we attempted to keep our relationship private and professional. Unbeknownst to us, the restaurant staff had a wager going on when we would come out as a couple. Mikey won three hundred bucks on “boom night” as it would forever be called. Luckily, we were still closed when we broke the desk in Logan’s office, and everyone heard the crash. Whoops. Maybe we should try recreating it. “I’ve seen that look. We don’t have time.” Busted. He knew me so well. “Drink.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I lied as I drank. I thought it was the water Logan always pushed on me to drink, but it was juice instead. I swore the guy knew more about pregnancy than me and I was the one who was knocked up.
“And the Pope’s not Catholic.” He countered. “Juice will make her more active for the ultrasound,” he explained as he motioned for me to finish it.
“Great, just what I need, a full bladder with a ninja kicking me from the inside.” Apparently, those flutters I was feeling were kicks. “I swear by the time this kid is born I’m going to have internal bruising.” Logan wrapped his arms around me from behind, his hands resting protectively on the stranger danger area. He placed his chin on my shoulder and looked at us in the mirror. I’d never felt something so all-consuming before, and no, it wasn’t just the hormones, it was Logan. Today was the second busiest day of the year for Swayed and yet he was here for me. It wasn’t even a question where he would be today. When I’d tried to explain why I’d scheduled the appointment for today, he’d kissed me until I’d stopped talking. He got it. Why I’d wanted to do this today. Logan knew as well as I did Emily needed the distraction on this day reserved for celebrating love. It got me to thinking.
“Does anyone in your family know you’re dating pregzilla?” I was wearing my latest t-shirt with a warning to stay clear with dinosaur claws. It wasn’t the first time I had inquired about Logan’s family and this time his reaction was no different.
“Let’s go; we’re going to be late.” As always, he changed the subject. The only clue I ever got was when he called the baby “Charo,” which meant beautiful flower. And once when he made something called Ropa Vieja that his “abuela” taught him to cook. Spanish words that matched his olive skin tone, but that was all I had to go on. Just like me, the guy could pack everything he owned in one duffle bag. It was sad when you thought about it. I wanted my child to have what I had growing
up: a mother, father, siblings, and a home. I’d known we were far from perfect, but my mom and sister had always been there for me. Especially now, I didn’t understand why I’d doubted them for a second. They loved this baby. As far as my dad, I sent him a text every now and again. Until they were apart, I’d never really realized my mother was the person that kept our family connected. She never allowed him to be absent. She was the reason he came to our soccer games. Mom was the reason we had presents and cake on our birthday. It’s not that he didn’t care, it just wasn’t his role. And now that mom no longer filled it for him, our father was a little lost to us. His new much too young for a man his age wife didn’t help things either. Maybe the same thing happened to Logan’s family. No family was without fault.
“Are you guys sure about this?” I couldn’t remember the last time I saw my sister smile so bright. She tried to pretend she was okay, but I knew she still missed Declan. I’m her twin, and I felt it every time we did something with her and our couple friends. I thought it was one of the reasons she’d become so close to Willow and her daughter, Fay. Yes, Willow had a husband, Dillon, but he was currently deployed. Emily wouldn’t admit to it, but it was probably the same status she liked to give Declan. Deployed. Like Willow, she didn’t know where he was. She hoped he would come back to her. The difference was Dillon contacted his wife and daughter every chance he got. Declan was still sending Forget-Me-Nots, but the florist no longer delivered them to Emily at her request. The reminder was too much for her, but leave it to my sister to find the perfect place to send them. Brookdale was a nursing facility for people with Alzheimer’s. She claimed if they provided just a single spark of memory it would be worth it.
Logan looked to me for confirmation. We had just walked, or waddled in my case, out of our twenty-week ultrasound appointment. Emily held the sealed envelope that would announce the sex of the inmate I was carrying to the world. OK, the world was a bit of an exaggeration, but with the way, the guest list to the reveal party was growing it sure felt that way. Mom was even coming out from California. I told her to wait for the baby shower, but she insisted she wasn’t about to miss the gender reveal of her first grandchild.