Huh?
“Justin,” she said while patting the seat next to her. “We need to talk.”
Oh no. I hate when people say that to me. It always involves something I don’t want to hear, something I’m being busted for, or some private, personal thing about them I’m incredibly embarrassed to hear about.
I slowly sat down.
“Yes …?” I asked.
“How was the dance with Becky?” she asked stiffly.
“Uh … we broke up.”
She perked up. “Really?” she asked.
“Yes. It’s over.” Then I added, “But we’re gonna be good friends.”
She smiled broadly. “Oh, I have no doubt about that. Most straight girls love to—”
Her hands shot to her mouth.
The unspoken rest of the sentence hung in the room.
No one broke the silence.
This was ridiculous. I had to tell her. Besides, the whole school now knew!
“Mom,” I said loudly, “I’m gay.”
She looked incredibly relieved.
“Oh, honey. I know.” She hugged me tightly. “A mother always knows.” Then she smoothed out her nightgown. “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”
“What do you mean?”
She suddenly started talking very fast. She was obviously thrilled to get this off her chest. “Becky’s such a sweet, bright girl. Normally, she’s so chipper, but I was shopping at the mall twice this month and both times I saw her eating by herself at Sushi Yummy.” She shook her head. “She seemed so down.”
I thought of Becky and felt sad for what she went through for those weeks. She had broken up with Chuck and I was avoiding her.
My mom kept talking. “I once dated a guy in high school who later turned out to be gay, and I thought maybe she was having the same feelings I had back then. The self-doubt, the constant worrying about being pretty enough.” She took a deep breath. “Anyway, since the initial plan your father and I came up with didn’t work, I stayed up tonight to ask you to break up with her. I hated to see her hurting.”
It was sweet of my mom to be so concerned for Becky, but it was also annoyingly typical of her butting into everyone else’s life. Hmm … maybe I’ll suggest she take more than two courses a semester. She needs something else to do with her free time.
Then I thought … wait a minute.
Initial plan?????
“Mom … what plan of yours didn’t work?”
“Well, we wanted to try to help you accept who you are.…”
Oy. She sounded like Spencer.
“So”—she shrugged—“we got you that book.”
“What book?”
“What book?” she repeated. “The one I slipped into your backpack before you left for school a few weeks ago. When I Figured It Out. Did you read it?”
WHAT?!?!
She’s the one who bought the book, not Chuck? But because of that book, I spent hours feeling sorry for Chuck. And it had helped me decide to kiss him at the dance.
I thought back to the day I found it. I had been about to accept that I’d never have him, but then the book gave me hope to follow through with my elaborate “Spring Fling” plan.
I looked at my mom. Yet again, one of her and my dad’s crazy plans completely backfired. I was about to tell her how much trouble they both caused me, but then I thought, What if I hadn’t planned on kissing Chuck at the dance? Would everything have worked out this perfectly? Maybe without the book, I never would have wound up with Spencer. It’s like a house of cards. If you took away one card, maybe everything would have crumbled.
I smiled and gave her another hug.
“Thanks for the book, Mom,” I said. “It really helped.”
“Oh, honey, you’re welcome.” Then her eyes widened. “And, by the way, there’s an online dating site for teens! Your father and I were talking about uploading your profile—”
Oy. Welcome to the rest of my life.
I cut her off and said I was super-tired and had to go to bed.
I’d tell her about Spencer tomorrow. Let her enjoy scheming with my dad tonight.
I got into my pj’s quickly. It was the first night I fell asleep right away instead of lying under my quilt, planning the next day’s deception.
The rest of the school year has gone by so fast.
I see Spencer almost every day after school either at my house or his. His mother is so liberal that she barely raised an eyebrow when he told her about us.
For my birthday, Spencer took me back to Nice Matin, where we had eaten brunch on the day we saw that Lincoln Center show months ago. I noticed a big wrapped present in Spencer’s New York Civil Liberties Union messenger bag, and while we shared a chocolate mousse for dessert, he finally presented it to me.
I unwrapped the beautiful paper and … it was the Broadway-themed Monopoly game he made for New Year’s Eve! He had taped down our pieces to keep them exactly where they were when I left to go to Michelle’s party.
“I knew we’d finish the game one day,” he said with his adorable smile.
I was so happy that I leaned across the table and gave him a big kiss … but one second later, my competitive nature took over and I rolled the dice while secretly tallying up how many Broadway shows I had to own to win. Our waiter let us stay and order numerous decaf lattes while we played, and after an hour and a half, I was finally declared the winner. Yay!
Since I’m in charge of making next year’s New Year’s Eve Monopoly game, I’ve already decided the theme will be our “favorite” teacher, E.R.! Every property will be an ailment she’s had, like Hematoma Avenue and Staph Infection Place. And instead of “Go to Jail” cards, they’ll say “Break a Hip.” To win, you’ll have to get the highest degree of whiplash.
Maybe Becky will help me make it on a Sunday afternoon. Oh yeah, since the dance, Becky, Spencer, and I have started a new tradition that on Sunday nights, the three of us rent a movie, and one of us is in charge of snacks. And Spencer and I invited her to spend New Year’s Eve with us, too.
Back at school, a lot of the Cool U kids went back to ignoring me like they did before, but some are actually nicer. And a few of them have even started calling me to make plans. And so does Quincy.
Becky got into Usdan and we’re both psyched to be spending the summer together, singing, dancing, and acting. Spencer’s doing camp also, but his is a math camp (like I said before, every great guy has a tragic flaw). The good part is, it’s a day camp like Usdan, so at least we’ll get to see each other at night.
Summer vacation starts in three weeks. That means that sophomore year is almost over. Looking back, I’d say it was a combination of a little awesome and a lot awful. But the good news is, ever since I dumped my awful popularity plan, it’s been only awesome.
I want to keep it this way, so I’ve made a vow to stop being like my parents: no more complicated plans and no more schemes.
That’s right. No more manipulating situations to get what I want. I’m through with all of that.
Completely through.
Unless absolutely necessary …
A NOTE FROM SETH
HI, EVERYONE! THANKS FOR READING my very first young adult book. Although the story is totally made up, the character of Justin is similar to me. And not just in his nonstop fruitless search for pants that don’t feel tight around the waist. I, too, had a hard time in school because I was made fun of for “acting gay,” but thankfully I was able to make it to graduation without needing to concoct a popularity plan. If you’re having a hard time because you think you might be gay or because kids make fun of you because they think you are, there is help! Go to TheTrevorProject.org or call 866-488-7386. And if you just need some reassurance that pretty much everybody had a horrible time in school, go to ItGetsBetter.org. You will not believe the number of amazingly cool, creative, and successful people who were considered complete losers when they were kids. Don’t listen to the Doug Gools of the world!
ABOUT SETH
SETH RUDETSKY has been the afternoon Broadway host on SiriusXM radio since 2004. As a musician, he’s played piano on Broadway for many shows (Les Miz, Ragtime, Phantom), and he music-directed the Grammy-nominated recording of Hair with Adam Pascal and Jennifer Hudson. As a TV actor, he’s appeared on Law and Order: Criminal Intent, Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List, and MTV’s Made. As a Broadway actor, he was in The Ritz with Rosie Perez and played opposite Sutton Foster in They’re Playing Our Song in a fund-raiser for the Actors Fund. He writes a weekly column on Playbill.com and also wrote The Q Guide to Broadway, as well as Broadway Nights, of which there is an audiobook edition that features Seth, Kristin Chenoweth, and Jonathan Groff.
Seth lives in New York with his partner, James; his stepdaughter, Juli; and their two mutts, Sonora and Maggie. He loves reading young adult books; his favorites are The Great Gilly Hopkins by Katherine Paterson and the His Dark Materials trilogy by Philip Pullman.
My Awesome/Awful Popularity Plan Page 16