‘I’m sorry. So sorry...’
Theo poured himself wine. ‘Don’t waste your sympathy on me. That was long ago, but I’m just trying to explain why Christmas for me has never held much appeal.’
She hesitated. ‘I believe you were in the army for some years, my lord. Surely you got the chance to celebrate Christmas with your officer friends?’
Theo smiled at the memory. ‘In Spain Wellington always had us retreat to our fortresses during winter, so we weren’t actually fighting. But Christmas Day didn’t mean a great deal. An extra rum ration for the men, an extra portion of meat if they were lucky and something the army cooks called plum pudding.’
‘But plum pudding’s delicious!’
He grinned. ‘Not by the time our army cooks had finished with it, believe me.’
Ruefully he remembered the doughy mess pretending to be plum pudding boiled up in huge cauldrons by the army’s slovenly cooks. In the evening some soldiers might try singing a carol or two, until the others started throwing things at them. Theo and Gilly used to talk rather longingly about London, where the festive season at least served the purpose of being an excuse for party after party. They used to fantasise about their return home, and talk about the beautiful women who’d welcome them...
But—it hit Theo like a thunderbolt—the most beautiful woman he’d ever met was sitting here at this table with him. And all he wanted to do was gather her in his arms and kiss her, and tell her he would make everything all right for her. But he damned well couldn’t, because...
He couldn’t, for a thousand-and-one reasons, and it was cruel to even let her start to guess the impact she’d made on him in this strange, lonely place.
‘Jenna,’ he said, touching her hand—hell, he shouldn’t even have done that, she jumped as if he’d struck her—‘Jenna, when I leave, I’ll see that you and your mother are safe here, I swear it.’
‘Of course,’ she said steadily. ‘You told me from the beginning you weren’t staying long—no one could expect you to. But...’
Her voice trailed away. It was important. He could tell it was important, from the way she looked at him, from the way she lifted her sweet face to his.
‘But what, Jenna?’
‘Some people,’ she whispered, ‘face Christmas with nothing. You know that, don’t you, my lord? With barely enough food to exist, perhaps not even a roof over their heads. My mother’s home in Germany was devastated by the war.’
‘Yes,’ he said quietly. ‘Forgive me for my selfishness. I’ve seen what war can do.’
‘Of course.’ She drew her hand away, still anxious. ‘My lord—this sounds presumptuous—but what would you really like for Christmas Day tomorrow?’
You, Jenna. The thought surged through him like a rip tide. He wanted this lovely girl in his arms, in his bed, damn it... He put his head on one side, pretending to think hard. ‘I’d like...a long walk over the hills.’
‘You’re getting the idea,’ she approved. ‘With Bess?’
He grinned back. ‘With you.’
That wiped her smile away. ‘No—tomorrow morning I’ll have so many jobs to do...’
‘I’m your employer,’ he reminded her gently. ‘Please come, Jenna. You want me to enjoy Christmas Day, don’t you?’
‘I’ll come.’ She smiled again; he felt his breath catch in his throat. ‘And you never know, my lord—your Christmas might not be as bad as you think.’
She slipped away from the room before he could reply.
Theo leant back in his chair, breathing deeply, Enjoy Christmas? Him?
But—something about the girl cast enchantment on whatever she touched. Careful, he warned himself. Be very careful.
Chapter Eight
The next morning Theo was awoken by the clamour of church bells. He turned over and tried to cover his ears with a pillow, but then he heard something else. The sound of children’s laughter.
Children?
He heaved on his clothes and went downstairs into the kitchen. Jenna was there, surrounded by at least a dozen small children, who chattered gleefully as she handed out little paper parcels wrapped in string.
When the children saw Theo they ran off into the yard like frightened chickens. Theo said, ‘Good morning, Jenna.’
‘Good morning, my lord. And a merry Christmas to you!’
Theo grinned back. ‘Merry Christmas. I’m sorry about the children—I didn’t mean to scare them witless. What were you giving them?’
She looked defensive. ‘Oh, it’s something my mother used to do, when she was housekeeper here, with Lord Northcote’s permission, of course. It’s an old custom, from Germany, you see?’ She unwrapped one of the paper parcels for him. ‘There are a few nuts and dried fruits, and pieces of marzipan—a tiny treat, but the children adore it. You must be ready for breakfast, my lord? Christmas Day breakfast?’
She was already leading the way into the dining room, where the oak table was laden with ham, cheeses and bread. She started pouring him coffee. ‘There is cold food, as you see. Or should I cook you some bacon and eggs, my lord?’
‘The cold food looks good. But what’s that?’ He was pointing at a long, rich-looking loaf, bursting with fruit and almonds.
‘It’s called stollen,’ she said. ‘I made it early this morning, with Aggie; it’s still warm. My mother taught me how to make it—they have it on Christmas Day in Germany. I—I baked another one for the children, but they’ve eaten it. I do hope you don’t mind?’
‘It sounds an excellent idea,’ Theo said. ‘And next is that long, long walk we talked about, remember?’
‘I’ll be ready for you in an hour, my lord.’ She bobbed a quick curtsy and hurried off, while Theo carved himself a thick slice of warm stollen. Which was actually one of the best things he’d ever tasted.
* * *
They climbed up to the rocky ridge that crested the moorland, where Jenna showed him how you could lean with your arms spread out and catch the strong wind like a sailing ship. Theo tried it, too, laughing with her, but really he was noting how lovely she looked with her fair hair blowing around her face.
Then they walked along the ridge for two miles, while ragged clouds played hide-and-seek with the mid-winter sun; they heard the distant, joyous sound of yet more church bells ringing for Christmas, then they sat a while and Jenna told him about a bottomless pool high on Kinder Edge, where if you went up in the light of the full moon a mermaid might rise from the dark depths and predict your future.
‘Have you ever been to see her, Jenna?’
She turned to him, suddenly serious. ‘Me? I know my fortune already, I hope—to stay with my mother and keep her safe. I haven’t thanked you enough, my lord, for allowing us to move back into the Hall.’
‘You’ve thanked me,’ he said. Suddenly he caught her hand and pulled her up. ‘But what about you? What about marriage and children, Jenna? What about—love?’
Just at that moment the sun went behind a cloud. She shivered and her hand, so warm in his, pulled away. ‘That’s for others.’ She shook her head. ‘Not me.’
‘But—why?’
Already she was marching on, Bess bounding at her heels. Theo, frowning, strode after her. She was heading down the hill now, along an ancient paved way. ‘What’s this?’ he called.
‘The lead miners used it, centuries ago,’ she called back, the wind snatching at her words. ‘Some say it was built by the Romans.’
‘Where does it go to?’
She waited for him with a mischievous smile that did something strange to his insides. ‘It leads the way, my lord,’ she said softly, ‘to a party. And I hope you are going to be pleasantly surprised. The party is at—Northcote Hall.’
For once, Theo was speechless.
* * *
Afterwards, Theo remembered the party as a series of vivid, almost riotous images. He remembered farmers, villagers and children all gathered in the lantern-lit courtyard as he and Jenna returned. He remembered the al
most fearful silence that fell, until Theo called out, ‘Merry Christmas to you all!’
‘Merry Christmas to you, my lord!’ Their greetings resounded in the crisp winter air.
Then he heard something else—Joe’s fiddle, tuning up. Theo was already backing away as the band of musicians set about a jig, but...
‘This time,’ he said wonderingly to Jenna, ‘they don’t sound so bad.’
‘They were nervous of you, my lord, when they played for you in the Hall,’ she answered quickly. She’d been watching him, wary of his reaction. ‘I hope you don’t mind the party,’ she rushed on, ‘it was presumptuous of me, I know! But I thought, there’s so much food and it’s what Lord Northcote used to do...’
‘Jenna,’ declared Theo, ‘you’re amazing. Truly amazing.’
Somehow they were alone here in this shadowy corner of the courtyard. Everyone else was dancing to the merry music, even the children. Theo wanted to kiss her, wanted to do much more than kiss her, God damn it. Desire was thumping hotly at his loins.
He simply took both her hands and asked, ‘May I have the pleasure of this dance?’
* * *
When everyone was hot and worn out from the dancing, Rob and some of the village lads hauled out two trestle tables and Aggie and the two Harris girls brought out huge platters of cold meats and fresh-baked bread, with spiced ale for the grown-ups and milk for the children.
Theo sat at the head of the bigger table. Jenna, he saw, hardly sat down at all, but was busy organising, making sure no one was left out. Theo talked to his neighbour, a jolly farmer, but he was never more content than when he could see the sparkle in Jenna’s eyes, or hear the soft lilt of her laughter as he watched her graceful form weaving amongst the guests.
Afterwards, when the stars shone overhead, the children sang some old Christmas carols, then everyone started to reluctantly depart, the men shaking Theo by the hand.
‘Just like old times,’ they were saying fervently. ‘The best Christmas for years—everything’s going to be all right, now you’re here, my lord!’
What would they say, Theo wondered, if he told them it was the happiest Christmas he had spent in his life?
* * *
Aggie and the girls were already clearing away the dishes. Theo helped Rob put the tables away, then went inside. Jenna was about to begin on the washing up, but Theo beckoned her aside. ‘Come with me a moment. Please.’
‘But—’
‘Aggie’s got plenty of helpers. I want to show you that I’m not entirely bereft of Christmas spirit!’
She followed him almost shyly to his study. ‘Have you enjoyed yourself today, my lord?’
‘Enormously,’ he said and her sweet face brightened. Inside his study, he lit a candle; he suddenly noticed that she was wearing a gown that actually showed her figure and her hair must have fallen from its pins during the dancing.
He dragged his eyes away from her and unlocked a drawer. ‘I believe gifts are traditional at Christmas, aren’t they? Look. I got this for you the other day in Buxton. A small seasonal token of gratitude.’
He lifted from the drawer a small package wrapped in silk; he watched as she opened it.
It was a small coral bracelet. It wasn’t expensive—he hadn’t wanted to embarrass her. But...
‘No,’ she breathed. ‘I cannot take it.’
He saw how the shadows from the candles were flickering across her face, making it difficult to read her expression. ‘Why?’ Theo asked softly. ‘Don’t you like it?’
‘Yes. Yes, it’s lovely, my lord.’ She swallowed. ‘But I shouldn’t...’
‘Why not?’
‘I’ve bought you nothing, and...’
She tried to say more; her full lips trembled slightly as she sought words that wouldn’t come.
‘Jenna,’ he said. ‘You’ve given me a precious gift. A Christmas Day that was not only endurable, but...’
‘But what, my lord?’
He saw a pulse beating at the base of her throat and placed his finger there, softly. ‘But was one of the most magical days of my life,’ he breathed. Then he touched her tender cheek, cupped her jaw and lifted her face to his.
Her lips had parted slightly—in question? In protest? He wasn’t sure. And he didn’t wait to find out.
He kissed her. He’d been wanting to kiss her for so long—ever since he saw her on that hillside on the day of his arrival, in her man’s coat and breeches. He’d been wanting to kiss her ever since he’d realised how full her lips were, and how much he longed to taste them.
He felt the utter shock rippling through her as his mouth touched hers. He knew—just knew—that she had not been kissed before. Gently he caressed her mouth with his and drew her closer. Knowing he should not be doing this. Knowing he could not stop doing this.
* * *
As for Jenna, she felt the heat surging through her veins at the first touch of his lips. And all the time, his strong warm hands were pulling her closer, pressing her against the lean length of his hip and muscled thigh, filling her with tremors of desire. Her breasts ached with something she couldn’t name; they felt soft and full, wanting to nestle further against the hardness of his chest... No.
She shuddered violently in horrified awareness of how deep was her longing for this man, and how dangerous. If just his kiss could do this to her, then what else lay in store? How far would he take her, if she let him, into the hot velvet darkness of that place she had never been? Her insides were melting and no wonder, because now his hand was cupping one of her breasts through the thin fabric of her gown and his touch on her nipple—stroking it between thumb and forefinger—shot pangs of scarcely bearable longing through her. His mouth was on hers again, a possession, a caress, drawing her deeper under his masculine spell. Weakly she leaned into him, burning at the sensation of her own soft flesh against his hard muscle.
She broke away with a low cry. ‘No. This is not right...’
Theo said huskily, ‘It could be right. It could be very right.’
Her breath froze in her throat.
‘I would look after you,’ Theo went on, his grey eyes raking her. ‘I would pay you a generous salary to continue helping Aggie here. You would have everything you wanted—clothes, food—and I would visit regularly.’
‘You—you are asking me to be your paid mistress?’ She pulled herself away; Theo saw the colour had drained from her face.
‘Jenna,’ he said almost harshly because his body was fiercely—painfully—aroused. ‘We both want each other—you know that. You would be secure here, you and your mother!’
‘Is it so very obvious?’ she whispered.
‘What on earth do you mean?’
She didn’t answer; she’d already turned, and was hurrying away.
‘Jenna!’ he called. ‘For God’s sake...’
She’d disappeared, up the stairs. Theo cursed. Damn it, she’d enjoyed his kiss all right—she’d melted into him with all the sweetness of a young and eager temptress! Painfully he fought down his arousal. The rich new lord of Northcote Hall had come to pay a Christmastide visit, and she was making the most of it, before he left...
Wrong, Theo. He ground the heel of his palm against his temples. He was utterly and completely in the wrong. Wasn’t it bad enough that he’d tried to seduce her? What possible grounds did he have for putting the blame on her, when it was all his fault in the first place, for luring her into trusting him, then lunging at her like some skirt-starved trooper?
The bracelet lay on the floor where she’d dropped it. Sighing, he picked it up. God, that kiss. The incredible sweetness with which her mouth had opened to his... This had gone too far. He had thought to make things plain between them by asking her to become his mistress, but the words he’d intended to use to distance himself from any emotional commitment had actually rebounded on him. The look in her eyes as he’d made his offer—the look of sheer, raw hurt—had pierced his defences in a way he hadn’t thought possible.
And in three days’ time, his unwanted guests were arriving. You fool. You idiot.
* * *
The next day Theo had glimpsed Jenna from time to time working around the house, organising the giggling Harris girls. He had carried on drawing up his list of improvements to be made on the old Hall after these years of neglect, then had gone out riding. He was still furious with himself for the mercenary offer he’d made to Jenna; was still scarcely able to control the fierce desire for her that was burning him up.
When he got back to the Hall at last, it was almost dark. And he saw that once more a light was on in the turret room.
He stabled his horse, then walked to the foot of the twisting stairs that led up there.
Someone was singing up in that small room.
Softly he climbed the stairs. The door to the room was ajar. And he saw Jenna’s frail mother, Maria, in there, humming to herself in a sweet, low voice. She had a cloth and a pot of beeswax, and was polishing everything—the bookshelves, the old carved oak desk—with exquisite care and tenderness.
Theo went very quietly downstairs again, wondering.
* * *
The next couple of days passed uneventfully. It was clear that Jenna was making sure she was never alone with him, and Theo had taken Bess for so many walks that the dog was in seventh heaven. He’d heard nothing more from Lady Celia’s party, but that morning he was barely back from his walk when Aggie came rushing out to him.
‘My lord! My lord! A serving man’s just ridden here, with a message!’
Cancelling again? No such luck. Breathlessly Aggie told him that Lady Celia, her mother and a party of a dozen friends would reach Northcote Hall in less than an hour.
Theo went to the kitchen, where Jenna was taking some hot, scented loaves from the oven. When she realised he was there, she swung round quickly and gave him a bright smile.
She was dressed—in black. Yes, her apron was white, and she wore spotless white cuffs over her slender wrists. But she wore black, and her lovely hair was covered by a hideous cap, of the kind old spinsters wore.
Snowbound Wedding Wishes: An Earl Beneath the MistletoeTwelfth Night ProposalChristmas at Oakhurst Manor (Harlequin Historical) Page 15